Topic: Beauty and the Beast
Critiqued by Addicted Reader
Welcome back, dear readers. This week we will continue our foray into Disney fanfiction with a short story that is inexplicably in the “Beauty and the Beast” section. I suppose it has more to do with that than with any other Disney movie, but that’s not really saying much.
As usual, let’s start with the summary:
A love that should never love
And … that’s it. The title of the fic repeated twice and no period. I’m having fun* already.
*And by ‘fun,’ I probably mean ‘frustration.’
Media: Television / Movie
Topic: Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Suspense / Romance
URL: Control – Chapter Five
Critiqued by Lyle
Submitted by Blessed8be
Good morning, everyone. I’ve decided to trudge onward and riff chapter five of the Thesaurus Nightmare that is “Control.” To recap what we’ve learned so far:
The author, Jackass the 3rd, has no idea what she’s doing and hasn’t seen this show before. She’s aged one character 10 years older than canon, created a lot of OOC behavior, and failed to make Vegeta attempt to kill Goku. Pan, the grand-daughter of Goku, has vanished and hasn’t been heard of in around seven years, even though the author is sure nine years have passed. Jackass the 3rd is bad at math and has an over-active thesaurus.
We’ve hit a major milestone! The Library has been visited 10,000 times! To honor this occasion, I’ve doodled a little “Group Photo” of your Snark Crew.
Here’s to 10,000 more!
Title: Good Girl Bad attitude
Author: hot-chick down under
Topic: House M.D.
URL: Good Girl Bad attitude: Chapter Two
Critiqued by Frozenpoodlemeat
Well, it’s been two weeks and I apologize for my absence. The first week was mostly my bad planning before we went on vacation; the second week was due to having no power due to an ice storm. And then I came home and had two kidney stones. But now I’m better and am ready to dive right back into the amazingly terrible story of Serenity, aka Triple X (giggle). As you remember, we had just finished chapter 1 and Triple X was going to go infiltrate the hospital and show up Dr. House.
Title: No Title
Media: Television / Comic Book
Topic: Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: Romance / Family
URL: No Title – Chapter Four
Critiqued by Ghostcat
Well, I thought I was done with the Batman fanfic “No title,” but after I finished the riff of Chapter Three I was cruising through ff.net and checking for fic updates when I saw that another chapter had been added.
:shakes fist at computer:
Damn you, Internet gods – damn you and your sadistic sense of whimsy! I’m going to demolish all the churches I built for you!
:knocks down house of cards:
What? It still counts. I glued one of those fish thingies to the side.
Nothing much happened in the last chapter: children were endangered, the Riddler went shopping and showed the first signs of Gary Stu-ness by fending off the advances of several women, and Harley Quinn came over to baby-sit while Scarecrow and Riddler went out to commit some unspecified crime.
Since this chapter is the longest one yet, I’m breaking it in half to make it easier for everyone. I wouldn’t want anyone to miss anything important, now would I?
I have found myself back at the Bates Motel, a location that seems very popular for the writers of bad fanfics. In this particular case, the author has written a sequel to Psycho, and let me tell you that it is a beaut. It is incoherent and has no plot. I think I have heard babbling babies have much more logical stream of conscious statements than this. I will be happy to return to Psycho as many times as I need to in order to cover these atrocities. It’s like each story is a dead woman in a car pushed into a bog with Norman Bates grinning nearby. Anthony Perkins lives.
Title: call of duty:the untold zombie chronicels
Author: insane doctor and judgmentdragon25
Media: Video Game/Movie
Topic: Call of Duty/Land Before Time Cross-Over
Genre: None Listed
URL: call of duty:the untold zombie chronicels – Chapter Three
Critiqued by TacoMagic
Wednesday has come around again and that means I am to regale you all with a tale; a tale of two men trapped by their own stupidity in an endless cycle of Stu-ness. Yes, the tale of Insane Doctor (ID) and Judgmentdragon25 (JD25) reaches its third chapter of unmitigated abuse of the English language.
Let’s see here, I suppose I ought to recap what has happened. Bet I can do it in 20 words.
There are lots of Stus. Two of them are more Stu-y than the others. They kill many zombies and dinosaurs.
Booya! I didn’t even miss any of the important plot points, either.