670: My Immortal – Chapter Twenty-Six

Title: My Immortal
Author: Tara (reposted by the lovely internet trolls)
Media: Book / Movie
Topic:  Harry Potter
Genre: Romance / angst
URL:  My Immortal – Chapter 26
Critiqued by Lyle

Hello, everyone!

Last week I started in on TacoMagic’s old Badfic, The Fallen Lords.  Today I’m back with another chapter of My Immortal.  I’m sorry.

Last time we met, I tackled two chapters.  In chapter 24 we met Professor Sinister/Trevolry, who is a horrible role model, swears at her students, dismisses class after two minutes, and is essentially useless.  Ebony tells her about the visions she has been having, Sinister has Ebony look into a crystal ball, and then tells her to leave.  That’s it.  Ebony takes off with Harry and Draco at the end of the chapter.

In chapter 25, Ebony and Draco have inexplicably ditched Harry, crash into a tree in Draco’s flying car, dress up as caberet dancers, play with sporks, and attempt to have sex, although all Draco managed to do was put his dick into a tool.  At the end, Ebony falls asleep before Draco gets a chance to finish and has a dream/vision/hallucination where a man with long, black hair uses said hair to shoot Sirius Black and Lucian/Lucius Malfoy (who also now has black hair.)

Let’s go!

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669: United under two skies – Chapters Three and Four

Title: United under two skies
Author: Gearman
Media:  Video Game
Topic:  Mass Effect/Fallout
Genre: None Listed
URL:   Chapter Three and Four
Critiqued by SuperFeatherYoshi

Hey guys! SuperFeatherYoshi here and welcome to the Two Chapters Special of my United Under Two Skies riffing! Last time, the Normandy SR2 crashed into Freeside, and the Normandy crew (Or at least Shepard.) reacted unrealistically well to being stuck in an alternate universe where the entire Earth is a radioactive wasteland. Commander Shepard demonstrated his unparalleled negotiation skill by asking the Courier to give them the raw material and “personal” they needed to fix up the Normandy, as well as food (Including dextro-amino-acid food) and shelter for his crew while offering him nothing in return. And the last chapter ended with Shepard and the Courier packing up their stuff and leaving for the Lucky 38. So let’s get started!

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668: A Game to Beat – Chapter Three

Title: A Game to Beat
Author: DeAnonymousWriter
Media: Comics
Topic: Homestuck
Genre: Adventure/Humor
URL: Chapter Three
Critiqued by Silky

Hello, patrons, and welcome back to A Game to Beat! I recently found out that DeAnonymousWriter had given the world the gift of another chapter of her most recent masterpiece! What a wonderful surprise that was- like opening your mailbox and finding a turd inside!

In the first two chapters of this epic saga, our brave heroine:
1. got punched until she passed out,
2. met some other trolls, and
3. broke her computer.

Thrilling stuff, isn’t it? Let’s see what heroic exploits she gets up to this time!

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667: Twitanic: Blue Eyes – Chapter 8

 

Title: Twitanic: Blue Eyes
AuthorNeleh the eccentric girl
Media: Book / Movie
Topic:  Twilight/Titanic
Genre: Romance / Drama
URL:    Twitanic: Blue Eyes – Chapter 8
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

How-do, my lovely and/or handsome Patrons!

I’m back with another one of the “new” chapters from Twitanic. It’s much, much longer than most of the previous chapters – longer than even the first chapter – so let’s get right into it.

Oh, but first – the recap!

It was kinda-sorta extremely confusing as Jacob more or less dropped a steaming info-dump on Jack.

Ummm… I should probably rephrase that.

In a rambling narrative that does a complete reversal before the end of the chapter, Jacob doesn’t tell Jack anything only he does but just not about the imprinting business. Or something like that. It was a clusterfail, whatever it was.

As a nice treat, this chapter begins with an Author’s Note – the first in eight chapters. Let’s see what the author has to say.

:reads AN:

Standard apology for taking so long to update, thanks for all the reviews (six in total) and so forth … Wait, what’s this?

 Also, I hope I’m not pissing anyone off because Jack is kind of depressed,

:spit-take:

 

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666: Twenty Warriors – Chapter Seventeen

Title: Twenty Warriors
Author: Herr Wozzeck
Media:  Video Games/Comics/Movies/Cartoons
Topic: Skies of Arcadia/Fire Emblem (Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn duology)/X-Men/Punisher/Super Smash Brothers/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles/Tales of Symphonia/Dead or Alive/Riviera: The Promised Land/Gears of War
Genre: Adventure/Fantasy
URL: Twenty Warriors: Chapter 17
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Heyo children, and welcome back to Twenty Warriors! I do wonder what we’re going to bump into today!

*reads ahead*

*headdesk*

Oh, fuck me.

Buckle up, patrons. This chapter may have the stupidest non-twist I’ve ever read in my life. Yes, non-twist. It’s that stupid.

Brace yourselves, you’re in for a world of hurt.

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665: Raptor and I – Who is who?

Title: Raptor and I
Author:
 Akashi.Cloud / ZincRae
Media: Movie
Topic:  Jurassic Park
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: Raptor and I: Who is who
Critiqued by Critiquers: Taco and Crunchy
Special Guest Critiquers: Taco, Crunchy, and Taco

Uh, Crunchy?

“Okay, so the DRD might have asked if we had some freelance work for them, and I might have said yes.  Apparently all the extra hazard pay their agents have been collecting is straining their budget.”

Well, to be honest, their work is the closest thing we’ve had to a competent critique field since we started this thing.

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664: Twin Humanities- Chapter 24

Title: Twin Humanities
Author: max7238
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Dark Souls
Genre: Adventure Romance
URL:  Chapter 24
Critiqued by Erttheking

C:  So just to clarify, we have no idea where the violet ring is.

N:  No, we don’t.  We’re just hunkering down and waiting for the fight to come to us.  I think it’s a good idea.  There’s four of us and one of them.  Five if we can get Ert’s ring to work.

W:  That’s what Goeth is doing right now isn’t he?

C:  Yeah, fingers aren’t crossed on that one.  Anyway, while they do that, lets get back to the review, I want to get this hunk of crap over with.

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