1906: Butch x Reader: I Think You’re Pretty

Title:  Butch x Reader: I Think You’re Pretty
Author:   Ugly Kitty Cat Sweater
Media: Cartoon
Topic: Power Puff Girls
Genre: Romance/Friendship
URL: Butch x Reader: I Think You’re Pretty
Critiqued by TacoMagic & Swenia

Hey, patrons!  As promised, this week I’m brining you a smut fic!  Featuring trains!  Since it’s a smut fit, well, somebody insisted on helping.

“Hi, patrons!  Let’s get to the sex already!”

The train sex.

“Wait, trains?  Why are trains having sex?”

Did you not see the context last week? This is a Thomas and Friends fic.

“I feel lied to!  I didn’t sign up for train sex!  Why didn’t you say anything!”

I DID.

“Why didn’t you make me pay attention!?”

Anyway, for anyone wondering, this is Butch:

He’s a breakdown truck with a big-ol winch on him.

*Swenia waggles her eyebrows*

Oh for crap’s sake.

“If you’re going to rope an unsuspecting gal into train sex, you can’t blame her for enjoying herself anyway.”

Anyway, Butch’s main job is assisting when stuff breaks by dragging or towing it.  Pretty easy.  He doesn’t appear a whole lot in the show, but the vast majority of the characters are like that, appearing in only one or two episodes yet somehow cultivating sometimes quite rabid followings.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s check out the summary!

I’M NOT GOOD WITH SUMMARIES SO LET’S GET THIS OVER WITH!

“That’s a good sign.”

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1882: Suicidal Nightmare– Crappy Pasta

Title: Suicidal Nightmare
Author: CreepyPastaPrincessLuna
Media: Animation
Topic: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Genre: Dark, Slice-Of-Life, and Other (it’s really just a creepypasta)
URL: Suicidal Nightmare
Critiqued by:
AdmiralSakai and Nina

WARNING

In case you couldn’t figure it out from the goddamn title, the pasta being riffed today contains potential flamebait in the form of a very strange handling of suicide. It’s not on the level of, say, a certain infamous Spongebob Squarepants ‘pasta previously riffed here, but exercise caution in the comments regardless. Also, expect the usual spoopy staples of random gore and character torture.

Hello hello all you patrons! Grab a heaping helping of cat brains and submit any roasted-fetus complaints to the Bureau of Demonic Affairs, because it’s time once again for…

spoop4

Roll it!”

Wait, no, that can’t be right!”

Ooooooooooh, yes it can!

What do you get when you combine the circle-jerking groupthink of the Creepypasta Wiki with the “anything goes” quality standards of fimfiction.net?

Why, ponypasta, of course!

Because nothing chills the blood like a show about magical talking horses who learn lessons about friendship, amiright?

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1871: What The Slayer Saw

Title: What The Slayer Saw
Author: Reallybored2
Media: Television/Movies
Topic: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer / Star Wars
Genre: Whining
URL: What The Slayer Saw
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, folks, welcome to Wednesday!  Well, once again we’re staring down a Star Wars fic, but this time we’re crossing it with Buffy: The Vampire Slayer because why the fuck not, right?

And no, I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself.  But at least I’m not doing a Land Before Time fic, right?

*Eyes up his pile of oneshots*

Right?

Anyway, let’s see what the summary has to offer!

Buffy realizes something.

And that’s it.  That’s the summary.  I can already see that we’re going to be getting a lot of descriptive narrative in this one.

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1866: The adventure of The Doctor – Oneshot

Title: The adventure of The Doctor
Author: Butchee
Media: Cartoon / Television
Topic: DuckTales / Doctor Who
Genre: Family/Adventure
URL: The adventure of The Doctor
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, patrons!  Let’s keep this oneshot train rolling by digging up another canon I haven’t touched in a while: DuckTales!  This time, we’re going to cross it with Doctor Who, because why the hell not!?

For those wondering, this will be the 10th Doctor (The popular David Tennat version).  The Doctor is never explicitly described in the fic, so I had to look at the character list to find out which it was.

Anyway, let’s start where we always do, with the summary!

When The Doctor gets sucked into a dimension,and Gyro Gearloose’s invention is to blame.  But also the solution…

Well, we’re certainly off to a great start!  Onwards and into the fic!

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1860: Phineas and Ferb: Legend of Boggy Creek (ON HOLD!) – Oneshot

Title: Phineas and Ferb: Legend of Boggy Creek (ON HOLD!)
Author: Bowserbutt
Media: Cartoon / Movie
Topic: Phineas and Ferb / Legend of Boggy Creek
Genre: Adventure/Mystery
URL: Phineas and Ferb: Legend of Boggy Creek (ON HOLD!)
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, peoples, welcome back to Wednesday.  Now that the birthday festivities are behind us, and the repair crews are busy handling the aftermath, I’m once again flying solo!

Since I’m on this on-shot binge, I figured I’d dig into an old favorite canon of mine: Phineas and Ferb.  There’s a glut of really bad fics in that canon, which makes it a wonderland of material for the sharks.  This time, though, I’ve found something that defies all… everything.  This week we’re going to tackle a Phineas and Ferb crossover with The Legend of Boggy Creek.

Now, if you’re wondering about that second canon, I’ve got a small infodump on it for you.  The Legend of Boggy Creek is a series of three budget movies from the 70s and 80s:  The Legend of Boggy Creek, Return to Boggy Creek, and Boggy Creek 2: And The Legend Continues.  Now, before you call me out on typoing, yes there are actually two different sequels to the original, and both are terrible.  This crossover, however, only deals with the first movie.  The first movie is a faux documentary-style horror movie revolving around the Fouke monster, a Bigfoot-like creature that’s allegedly been spotted in the Fouke Arkansas area as far back as 1891.  The movie was actually the precursor to the Blair Witch Project, as the later film purposefully utilized the same cinematic style.  The directors also cited The Legend of Boggy Creek as one of the primary cinematographic influences.

But that’s really all you really need to know about The Legend of Boggy Creek:  It’s a horror film about a swamp sasquatch which is stylized as a documentary (the film, not the sasquatch).  Despite how terrible the sequels are, I do recommend giving the original a look if for no other reason to see the historical origins of more modern movies that use similar stylistic choices.

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1844: Adam and the Chipmunks Diablo Trailer – Oneshot

Title: Adam and the Chipmunks Diablo Trailer
Author: chipmunkfanantic
Media: Video Game / Television
Topic: Alvin and the Chipmunks / Diablo
Genre: Mystery/Fantasy
URL: Adam and the Chipmunks Diablo Trailer
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Gonna be in for a bit of a short one today.  I feel like death warmed over, so I decided I needed a little pile of fail rather than a heap.  That’s when I remembered I had something in my stack that fits the bill.

It’s also a hot mess, so this should be fun.  But, what else can you really expect for a Diablo / Alvin and the Chipmunks crossover.

No, you did not read that wrong.  On a better day I’d give infodumps of both those canons, but today is not a better day and, frankly, the canons won’t provide any context to help this thing.

So how hot of a mess is it?  Well…

A story based on the famous first game diablo Grant a general for a war fought by a king soon gives him and his group that has worked along side him for so long to now find out what is going on in a small town called Tristram but of what they find is shocking it will send them to the depths of hell to vanquish it as there will be many twists and turns from the church to Hell R&R

You’ll probably notice right off the bat that sentences aren’t a strong point of this author.

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1783: Heroes and Villains – Chapter Twenty-Two, Part Two (Now with RealTalk™)

Title: Heroes and Villains
Author: Horrible’s Igor
Media: Television / Movies
Topic: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer / Kitchen Sink
Genre: Supernatural/Drama
URL: Heroes and Villains (Now Defunct)
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Eliza

Hey, guys!  We’re finally here, the grand finale of Heroes and Villains!  It’s celebration time!

“YAY!”

*Eliza sprays confetti everywhere*

I have deep regrets.

Let’s see, last time stuff happened with the Malkavians.  Mostly stupid stuff that involved horrible accents, German, and an illogical deal where Willow promised to hand over the city to them.  Really, at this point the fic has lost all pretense of trying to have a plot and now it’s just random shit happening while Igor moons over IndigoStars.

“I still feel really embarrassed for Igor.”

Luckily this fic is gone and was super obscure even before she pulled it down.  And now it’s being featured on a riff blog that is every bit as obscure.  It’s unlikely Indigo will ever see it.  Anyway, let’s see what we’ve got this week.

Also, to address the elephant in the room, I discovered today that Igor is transgender and prefers the feminine pronoun.  My bad on that one, but I had to dig pretty deep into the internet to discover it, so I see it as an honest mistake.  Regardless, I’ve corrected it moving forward.

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