Title: Star Wars: Shadow War Episode I
Media: Movie / Cartoon
Topic: Star Wars / MLP
Genre: Sci-Fi / Adventure
URL: Star Wars: Shadow War Episode I
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Darth Lord Crunchy (Retired)
Heyo, patrons! Welcome back to another installment of ‘Shadow War’, the Star Wars fic where nothing happens and the characters don’t matter! Crunchy is here again.
“You sound so pleased.”
Ecstatic. Anyway, last time more long-winded nothing happened.
“I question whether you could consider that chapter long.”
Fine, more short-winded nothing happened. The Cliff-notes of all the nothing is that Team Evil is landing their shit on the planet of Ponyland while Team Stu gathered a few juvenile recruits before being dispatched to explore what will coincidentally™ be the same exact planet that Team Evil is orbiting despite the region being nearly a third the size of the entire galaxy.
“Your Dickens would be proud.”
Compared to this, Dickens showed incredible restraint with his contrivances. In any case, let’s get on with the show!
Title: Blue Moon
Topic: Lord of the Rings/The Smurfs
Genre: Angst and Humor
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Angie and Queenie
Queenie: “Australian, not Scottish.”
Queenie: “That’s why Jack calls him a kangaroo at one point.”
I will physically fight you.
Welcome back to Angie Pays for Her Sins. This time, I’m reviewing a Lord in the Rings fanfiction to repay for Brego’s Mistress.
Queenie: I went through the tiresome labor of searching for a fanfiction, and I stumbled upon a crossover between some Earth cartoon called The Smurfs. The title is also the name of a beer brand. So…that’s fun.
This fic is called Coors Light.
Queenie: That’s…nope. That’s incorrect. The fic is called Blue Moon. Let’s begin.
Title: Same Old Lang Syne
Media: TV Shows
Topic: Stranger Things
URL: Same Old Lang Syne
Critiqued by Angie
Warning: Drinking. Oh no.
FORCED, CHEESY OPENING:
*kicks down door* Ho ho ho, motherfuckers. I didn’t have time to figure out separate presents for you all so you’re all getting a Hot Wheel and a gift certificate to Chili’s.
Okay back to the riff:
It really does make me feel bad finding Christmas fics to review because it truly is such a wholesome, happy holiday.
Someone’s gotta do it though.
Merry Christmas, everybody. I’m Angie and I’m going to ruin your holiday by reviewing a fic deriving from everybody’s favorite subgenre, the songfic! Today’s song is Same Old Lang Syne, sang by the late, great Dan Fogelberg.
You know, this one.
And it’s a fic based off of another wildly famous topic, Stranger Things.
Stranger Things is a 2016 Netflix original TV show created by The Duffer Brothers. It takes place in early to mid eighties and stars Winona Ryder and rising star Finn Wolfhard. It’s full of awesome sci-fi action culminating in one of the highest praised TV shows of all time.
Can TKDP keep that magic alive? Let’s take a look at Same Old Lang Syne.
Title: Butch x Reader: I Think You’re Pretty
Author: Ugly Kitty Cat Sweater
Topic: Power Puff Girls
URL: Butch x Reader: I Think You’re Pretty
Critiqued by TacoMagic & Swenia
Hey, patrons! As promised, this week I’m brining you a smut fic! Featuring trains! Since it’s a smut fit, well, somebody insisted on helping.
“Hi, patrons! Let’s get to the sex already!”
The train sex.
“Wait, trains? Why are trains having sex?”
Did you not see the context last week? This is a Thomas and Friends fic.
“I feel lied to! I didn’t sign up for train sex! Why didn’t you say anything!”
“Why didn’t you make me pay attention!?”
Anyway, for anyone wondering, this is Butch:
He’s a breakdown truck with a big-ol winch on him.
*Swenia waggles her eyebrows*
Oh for crap’s sake.
“If you’re going to rope an unsuspecting gal into train sex, you can’t blame her for enjoying herself anyway.”
Anyway, Butch’s main job is assisting when stuff breaks by dragging or towing it. Pretty easy. He doesn’t appear a whole lot in the show, but the vast majority of the characters are like that, appearing in only one or two episodes yet somehow cultivating sometimes quite rabid followings.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s check out the summary!
I’M NOT GOOD WITH SUMMARIES SO LET’S GET THIS OVER WITH!
“That’s a good sign.”
Title: Suicidal Nightmare
Topic: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Genre: Dark, Slice-Of-Life, and Other (it’s really just a creepypasta)
URL: Suicidal Nightmare
Critiqued by: AdmiralSakai and Nina
In case you couldn’t figure it out from the goddamn title, the pasta being riffed today contains potential flamebait in the form of a very strange handling of suicide. It’s not on the level of, say, a certain infamous Spongebob Squarepants ‘pasta previously riffed here, but exercise caution in the comments regardless. Also, expect the usual spoopy staples of random gore and character torture.
Hello hello all you patrons! Grab a heaping helping of cat brains and submit any roasted-fetus complaints to the Bureau of Demonic Affairs, because it’s time once again for…
“Wait, no, that can’t be right!”
Ooooooooooh, yes it can!
What do you get when you combine the circle-jerking groupthink of the Creepypasta Wiki with the “anything goes” quality standards of fimfiction.net?
Why, ponypasta, of course!
Because nothing chills the blood like a show about magical talking horses who learn lessons about friendship, amiright?
Hey, folks, welcome to Wednesday! Well, once again we’re staring down a Star Wars fic, but this time we’re crossing it with Buffy: The Vampire Slayer because why the fuck not, right?
And no, I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself. But at least I’m not doing a Land Before Time fic, right?
*Eyes up his pile of oneshots*
Anyway, let’s see what the summary has to offer!
Buffy realizes something.
And that’s it. That’s the summary. I can already see that we’re going to be getting a lot of descriptive narrative in this one.
Hey, patrons! Let’s keep this oneshot train rolling by digging up another canon I haven’t touched in a while: DuckTales! This time, we’re going to cross it with Doctor Who, because why the hell not!?
For those wondering, this will be the 10th Doctor (The popular David Tennat version). The Doctor is never explicitly described in the fic, so I had to look at the character list to find out which it was.
Anyway, let’s start where we always do, with the summary!
When The Doctor gets sucked into a dimension,and Gyro Gearloose’s invention is to blame. But also the solution…
Well, we’re certainly off to a great start! Onwards and into the fic!