1844: Adam and the Chipmunks Diablo Trailer – Oneshot

Title: Adam and the Chipmunks Diablo Trailer
Author: chipmunkfanantic
Media: Video Game / Television
Topic: Alvin and the Chipmunks / Diablo
Genre: Mystery/Fantasy
URL: Adam and the Chipmunks Diablo Trailer
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Gonna be in for a bit of a short one today.  I feel like death warmed over, so I decided I needed a little pile of fail rather than a heap.  That’s when I remembered I had something in my stack that fits the bill.

It’s also a hot mess, so this should be fun.  But, what else can you really expect for a Diablo / Alvin and the Chipmunks crossover.

No, you did not read that wrong.  On a better day I’d give infodumps of both those canons, but today is not a better day and, frankly, the canons won’t provide any context to help this thing.

So how hot of a mess is it?  Well…

A story based on the famous first game diablo Grant a general for a war fought by a king soon gives him and his group that has worked along side him for so long to now find out what is going on in a small town called Tristram but of what they find is shocking it will send them to the depths of hell to vanquish it as there will be many twists and turns from the church to Hell R&R

You’ll probably notice right off the bat that sentences aren’t a strong point of this author.

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1783: Heroes and Villains – Chapter Twenty-Two, Part Two (Now with RealTalk™)

Title: Heroes and Villains
Author: Horrible’s Igor
Media: Television / Movies
Topic: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer / Kitchen Sink
Genre: Supernatural/Drama
URL: Heroes and Villains (Now Defunct)
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Eliza

Hey, guys!  We’re finally here, the grand finale of Heroes and Villains!  It’s celebration time!

“YAY!”

*Eliza sprays confetti everywhere*

I have deep regrets.

Let’s see, last time stuff happened with the Malkavians.  Mostly stupid stuff that involved horrible accents, German, and an illogical deal where Willow promised to hand over the city to them.  Really, at this point the fic has lost all pretense of trying to have a plot and now it’s just random shit happening while Igor moons over IndigoStars.

“I still feel really embarrassed for Igor.”

Luckily this fic is gone and was super obscure even before she pulled it down.  And now it’s being featured on a riff blog that is every bit as obscure.  It’s unlikely Indigo will ever see it.  Anyway, let’s see what we’ve got this week.

Also, to address the elephant in the room, I discovered today that Igor is transgender and prefers the feminine pronoun.  My bad on that one, but I had to dig pretty deep into the internet to discover it, so I see it as an honest mistake.  Regardless, I’ve corrected it moving forward.

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1771: Heroes and Villains – Chapter Twenty-One, Part Two

Title: Heroes and Villains
Author: Horrible’s Igor
Media: Television / Movies
Topic: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer / Kitchen Sink
Genre: Supernatural/Drama
URL: Heroes and Villains (Now Defunct)
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Eliza

Heyo, patrons!  Are you all ready for another installment of Heroes and Villains!?

Too bad, we’re doing it anyway.  I’m super busy dealing with all the ransomware fallout this week, so we’re just going to jump right in without any more preamble.

“Did you know that apparently Malkavians can’t be killed with stakes?” Willow asked the others, showing them the page in the book she was reading.

“Yes.  It’s been mentioned several times now.”

I changed my mind, can we go back to doing a preamble?

“Too late, keep going!”

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1764: Fall to Equestria – Chapter Fifteen (But really Chapter Thirteen)

Title: Fall to Equestria
Author: doomboom1234
Media: Television/Cartoon
Topic: My Little Pony: FIM
Genre: Sex/Comedy/Human/Random/Romance
URL:  Chapter Fifteen Thirteen
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai and Serketry

-WARNING-

Beware, for here be dragons. Or at least more hardcore pony porn.

Hello hello all you patrons!

Welcome back to Fall to Equestria, ruining awesome characters since late 2012.

Last time our plucky protagonist Loser Martin was captured by the Changelings, promptly escaped through a method so stupid and thermodynamically dubious that I refuse to even recap it, and then immediately turned himself in again. This led to fortunately unconsummated sexytimes with Queen Chrysalis, who apparently was not evil at all and just misunderstood (needing a whole three sentences from the Stu to devolve into a sobbing wreck). Then Princess Celestia showed up and did the first sensible thing in the ‘fic, namely magic-blasting Loser Martin to within an inch of his life while trying to shoot the Queen.

With his miraculous Stu powers he somehow survived the blast. Well, he’s bleeding out, but considering that that Celestia was trying to kill Chrysalis and we’ve seen her literally blast enemies apart, Loser should be chunky salsa by now.

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1763: Heroes and Villains – Chapter Twenty-One, Part One

Title: Heroes and Villains
Author: Horrible’s Igor
Media: Television / Movies
Topic: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer / Kitchen Sink
Genre: Supernatural/Drama
URL: Heroes and Villains (Now Defunct)
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Eliza

Welp, we’re finally there, the home stretch.  Now that Igor is completely out of fucks to give, we enter the freefall stage.  The shark jumps, the editing dwindles, and what passes for the plot becomes even more fragmented and incoherent.

“You make it sound so good!”

Don’t I, though?

“Recap?”

Sure.  Spike does a sparring session with team Buffy, and then quickly drops that in favor of most of the group running off to go look for the very items that Willow was just told about in the previous scene.  Because that’s how good writing works.  On their way there Jim is invited to exposit his backstory, which he does.  It’s a contrived backstory, and since it’s about a character that nobody honestly gives a shit about, there’s no real need to revisit it.   After a quick chat with the embodiment of the plot, they’re directed to the same place Willow’s going.  It’s also dropped that Igor has decided to change his mistake into a plot point involving Sunnydale being completely restored.  Presumably with a “because magic” in there somewhere.  And if you’re wondering why it took the members of Team Buffy this long to think something was strange with Sunnydale being back, then you’d be forgetting that nobody in this fic actually has a brain.

“It turns out that you don’t need one to star in a fanfic!”

The chapter trails off with a scene of DEEP FORESHADOWING™ where a bunch of vampires with extremely fake accents talk about stuff that I can’t be bothered to remember, and then an ASMR vampire shows up because why the fuck not?  Igor literally had no fucks left to give when he wrote that scene, which is why I skimmed the crap out of it.

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1757: Fall to Equestria – Chapter Fourteen (Which is really Chapter Twelve)

Title: Fall to Equestria
Author: doomboom1234
Media: Television/Cartoon
Topic: My Little Pony: FIM
Genre: Sex/Comedy/Human/Random/Romance
URL:  Chapter Fourteen Twelve
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai and Serketry

-WARNING-

While there’s nothing at all explicit for a change, this chapter does contain some potential flamebait in the form of nonconsensual Changeling ‘seduction’ attempts.

Hello hello, all you patrons, and welcome back to the horror that is Fall of Equestria.

Last time Loser Martin got into a pretty explicit ‘massage’ with Aloe and Lotus…

And racked up a bunch more sexual favors…

… then had the ‘pleasure’ of finding Princess Luna sleeping ontop of him like the world’s largest, pointiest housecat before someone or something

Wasn’t me! (Though I wish it was…)

finally did what we’ve all been wanting to do since Chapter One and knocked him out cold.

Bad touch counter: 47

He woke up in a room with green slime and a mattress, and that brings us to Chapter Twelve, “Understanding the misunderstood”.

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1752: Fall to Equestria – Chapters Twelve and Thirteen

Title: Fall to Equestria
Author: doomboom1234
Media: Television/Cartoon
Topic: My Little Pony: FIM
Genre: Sex/Comedy/Human/Random/Romance
URL:  Chapter Twelve
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai and Serketry

-WARNING-

This is the part where the ‘fic goes completely off the rails and dives straight into hardcore pony sex. It is definitely no longer suitable for work, school, family, or the faint of heart.

Good luck.

Hello hello, all you patrons, and welcome back to Fall to Equestria!

Last time Loser Martin fucked around at the Bridle Gossip Ponyville Day Spa for another whole chapter giving a ‘massage’ to the proprietresses, then was a dick to Princess Celestia and her guards as part of the process of turning the Princess into a stern, emotionless tyrant. Because that’s never been done before.

Lets see how bad this’ll be this time.

Bad Touch Counter: 34

Chapter Ten is called ‘A pleasant massage’- gosh, I wonder what this could involve??

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