2645: Two Sith Lords and an Elf revised – Day (Chapter) One

Title: Two Sith Lords and an Elf revised
Author: Master Darth Warious – Lady of Chaos
Media: Book/Movie
Topic: Lord of the Rings/Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy / Hot Mess
URL: Two Sith Lords and an Elf revised
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Heya, patrons!  Now that I’m caught up on all the guest riffs that were sent earlier this Summer, it’s time to dig into the fic I threatened you all with promised to riff back in October during the Spooptoberfest.  For those who need a refresher, I riffed a fic called A Sith’s Halloween, and I had questions.  Many, many questions.  So, to answer probably none of them, we’re now moving on to the parent fic of that one: Two Sith Lords and an Elf revised.  At the time I said I really didn’t want to riff two Star Wars fics in a row, but this thing has forced my hand.

Now, since this is the revised edition, you might expect this to be a polished and refined version of the original.  You also might be new here, greetings!  You’ll find your information and flavor packet under your chair.  Try not to get them wet unless you’ve got a craving for noodles.  Regardless, I’m sure you’ll all come to agree that the original must have been a dumpster fire of epic proportions for the hot mess we’re about to riff to be the improved version.

I’ve also gone ahead and cut our usual Star Wars correspondent loose on this riff, both because I have a feeling this thing will have less to do with Star Wars than True Force did, but also because he tried to bite me in the face when I walked into his room to ask for help.

Anyway, enough stalling, let’s get this shit-storm on the road!  I’m sure that how idiom do, yes?

Summary first!

On request I have re-written this story in a different format and addded information.

Hypothesis:  “revised” may actually mean “twenty-five percent more d.”

Darth Maul, Darth Warious and Haldir of Lothlorien all end up on earth and have ‘adventures’ with a normal life. (Complete)

I’m sure you will all come to agree that ‘adventures’ absolutely deserves those quotation marks.

Onwards to the-

Two Sith Lords and an Elf

By Darth Warious

Disclaimer: I don’t own 4-H, Star Wars, LotR, or any of their characters. I do own the characters, Darth Warious, Commander Rogue Dragon, Lillian and Pegasus.

Oh, right.  One of those.

Wait, does that say “Commander Rogue Dragon”?  And why the hell are you disclaiming ownership of 4-H?

*Taco slowly slides the bottle of scotch off the shelf and sets it on the riffing desk.*

Trouble brewin’.

I suppose your gonna hit us with an author’s note now, right?

Huh, there isn’t one.  That almost never happens!  A moment.

*Quickly flips through the fic*

Well, look at that, there are author’s notes, but they are some of the least chatty and pointless I’ve seen in a long time and seem to always be placed as a footnote to the chapter.  If that lasts the entire fic, I may end up having to hand over a redemption cookie because this is one of the least bad implementations of authors notes I’ll have riffed.

Sadly, that may turn out to be the high-point of what we’re about to be subjected to.

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1947: Blue Moon – One Shot

Title: Blue Moon
Author: SivanShemesh
Media: Books/Cartoon
Topic: Lord of the Rings/The Smurfs
Genre: Angst and Humor
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Angie and Queenie

Queenie: “Australian, not Scottish.”

Shut up.

Queenie: “That’s why Jack calls him a kangaroo at one point.”

I will physically fight you.

Welcome back to Angie Pays for Her Sins. This time, I’m reviewing a Lord in the Rings fanfiction to repay for Brego’s Mistress.

Queenie: I went through the tiresome labor of searching for a fanfiction, and I stumbled upon a crossover between some Earth cartoon called The Smurfs. The title is also the name of a beer brand. So…that’s fun.

This fic is called Coors Light.

Queenie: That’s…nope. That’s incorrect. The fic is called Blue Moon. Let’s begin.

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1786: Brego’s Mistress – Chapter Six

Title: Brego’s Mistress
Author: hannah.jpg
Media: Books
Topic: Lord of the Rings
Genre: Drama and Romance
URL: Chapter Six
Critiqued by Angie

*mumbling* Something something Brego’s Mistress something something Léofe something something. Let’s read.

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1774: Brego’s Mistress – Chapter Five

Title: Brego’s Mistress
Author: hannah.jpg
Media: Books
Topic: Lord of the Rings
Genre: Drama and Romance
URL: Chapter Five
Critiqued by Angie

Howdy, patrons!

Brego’s Mistress, leggo!

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1760: Brego’s Mistress – Chapter Four

Title: Brego’s Mistress
Author: hannah.jpg
Media: Books
Topic: Lord of the Rings
Genre: Drama and Romance
URL: Chapter Four
Critiqued by Angie

I’m too harsh on fanfiction. You know? I, uh…it’s just been a really really weird year full of a lot really weird fanfiction.

Let’s just…let’s just get into another chapter with no plot of Brego’s Mistress.

*coughs, hacks*

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