2768: The Continuing Saga of Two Sith Lords – Finale

Title: The Continuing Saga of Two Sith Lords
Author:Master Darth Warious – Lady of Chaos
Media: Book/Movie
Topic: Lord of the Rings/Star Wars/Kitchen Sink
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy / Romance / Hot Mess
URL: The Continuing Saga of Two Sith Lords
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Here we are, patrons, the final chapter!

Like that, but not as much big hair.

Last time we finished up the thrilling fiction!, but not really, but really section.  Not much actually happened aside from a random freeform pity party storming through the fic and leaving an un-undead Kris in its wake.

Now that the last hurrah chapter is over, let’s jump into one of the shortest chapters in the series to finish the whole shebang off!

The continuing Saga of Two Sith Lords Chapter 10

By Maul

o.o.o.o.o

Damn, one-eyed, surprised Pikacu also lost his nose.  Dude’s had a rough life.

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2765: The Continuing Saga of Two Sith Lords, Chapter Nine – Part Two

Title: The Continuing Saga of Two Sith Lords
Author:Master Darth Warious – Lady of Chaos
Media: Book/Movie
Topic: Lord of the Rings/Star Wars/Kitchen Sink
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy / Romance / Hot Mess
URL: The Continuing Saga of Two Sith Lords
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Welcome back, patrons!  It’s Wednesday and it’s time for some hot, hot mess.  I know you’re all excited for that.

Last time the hottest of the hot mess got rolling.  First off the new SUPAH HOT™ version of the Formerly-Headless Horseman showed up and saved Suerio from the latest random, nonsensical Jedi attacks.  With him as the, presumably, new romantic interest, the fic decided to go full batshit and turned into a fictionalized version of Wario’s journal of Bible camp.  There are absolutely no words to describe what I think of this turn of events.  Still I’m tempted to say that frilmtunkular might cover quite a bit of my feelings here.  As far as what happened at Bible camp, well, Bible camp stuff.  Swimming, food, a bit of “special place” meditation, and church.  Oh, and also menstruation happened because reasons.

Anyway, this week we join the fic already on-location midway through chapter nine.

12:10 pm Monday

LATE BREAKING HAIL TO THE MOON SPIDERS!

Shame it had to be on a Monday.

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2762: The Continuing Saga of Two Sith Lords, Chapter Nine Part One

Title: The Continuing Saga of Two Sith Lords
Author:Master Darth Warious – Lady of Chaos
Media: Book/Movie
Topic: Lord of the Rings/Star Wars/Kitchen Sink
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy / Romance / Hot Mess
URL: The Continuing Saga of Two Sith Lords
Critiqued by TacoMagic

And here we are, the last hurrah chapter of Two Pieces of Toast and a Baked Potato, or whatever it’s called this chapter.

The continuing Saga of Two Sith Lords Chapter 9

My version is definitely better.

Last time things got tract-y in a weird way.  Given how much pointless padding surrounded it, I’m pretty sure that the three or four sentences of the author regurgitating their opposition of same-sex relationships was the entire point of the chapter.  And with how token and forced it felt, I’m not even sure it counts as Wario’s views on it, more like she was parroting the standpoint she’s been told that she should have.  The rest of the chapter was devoted to a Dickens-esk coincidence of Maul hatching a transparent plan to get rid of Hook while Hook just so happens to need to leave for a while anyway.

Which brings us to this chapter: the longest chapter in the entire three-fic series.  In fact, the chapter is longer than the entire second fic.  Combined with the fact that the next chapter is one of the shortest and, well, you’ll understand why I’m calling this the last hurrah chapter.  You see these fairly often in fics with absolutely no direction that have gone on for a while.

Oddly, the first chunk of this chapter is written in little blocks like a freeform poem.

I killed another Jedi last night. I haven’t had so many problems in ages.
Well, this one was harder to destroy then the last one and I had some difficulty defeating him.

It doesn’t help when the said Jedi is an adult Wookiee, very hard to kill.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Wookiees and have been adopted by a family that doesn’t live on Kashyyyk, but this was a Jedi bent on killing.
I didn’t DO anything to him or his fellow Jedi before him. Why must they hunt me with the intent to kill? But I digress…

The Jedi and I had battled our way out of the town I lived in (which took a long time to do) We were fighting in the middle of an dirt rode with dense forest on either side. (Which is like that on any dirt rode around here) My watch beeped signaling midnight.
I remember thinking, “Maul’s gonna kill me, I’m out way past what I should be” But I had to keep my home’s location safe from the Jedi so I battled on.

So intense was our battle that neither of us heard the sound of horse’s hooves on the road.
Unlike my brother Maul, I like to talk with the person I’m fighting.
I kept asking the Wookiee why he was so bent on killing me.
His reply (I understand, not speak Wookiee) was that I was a Sith and so should be destroyed.

So far as freeform poems go, that one’s pretty bad.

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2758: The Continuing Saga of Two Sith Lords, Chapter Eight

Title: The Continuing Saga of Two Sith Lords
Author:Master Darth Warious – Lady of Chaos
Media: Book/Movie
Topic: Lord of the Rings/Star Wars/Kitchen Sink
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy / Romance / Hot Mess
URL: The Continuing Saga of Two Sith Lords
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Here we are, once again, on location at the hidden bunker that we’ve inexplicably named the Library.  And also once again it’s time for more C. Hook: Sith Chronicels Two Cups of Lard and an Onion Log, or whatever it’s called now.

The continuing Saga of Two Sith Lords

Oh, apparently the name changed back.  Well, that’s handy.

Anywho, last time we had a bad case of sudden onset love triangle complete with more nude cuddling.  Although, given the weird bromance between Erik and Maul, and the fact that Hook is a pirate, well it may actually be some kind of love rhombus, which is definitely a band.  Otherwise at some point a movie was seen, which was just pointless word filler.  Overall, somehow less than usual happened last chapter.

Meanwhile Wario has joined the darkside of fully-bracketing author’s notes.

A/N: Thank you to my reviewers. Please review again!

Working on it!

Thank you to Luthien, who actually likes my story.

The implied disbelief here is quite apropos.

Dûncariel: Hey, you know I’m weird.

I believe the term is LOLRANDOM!, which is not actually weird given how absurdly common it is in the young-adult fanfiction circle.

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