Author Endorsements

What happens when the author of one of our highlighted fics discovers what we’ve been doing?  We stick it here, that’s what!

September 14th, 2011

The author of Upon da Balcony finds us!  Read the comments for the amusing conclusion to this encounter.

March 4th, 2012

The author of A Questing We Go! finds us, as well as some random, irate person who is probably a real-life friend of hers.  Both of their responses (which contain misspelling and poor grammar) are handled beautifully by our friend, Herr Wozzeck.

 February 25, 2013

The author of Batman Arkham Asylum: The Untold story finds our little corner of the ‘net! And seems to accept the criticism with grace.

April 10, 2013

For the second time this year an author has located the Library! The author of Jamy Lin and the killers has matured as a writer since the publishing of their fic.

April 20, 2013

It’s an epidemic! Yet another writer, this time the author of the Star Wars/ Lad Before Time puzzler A Jedi’s Destiny: Episode 1: Rise of the Sith. The author, Jedi 472, even managed to joke about it on our Sucktastic Awards page.

December 28, 2013

Late in the year, another writer discovers the Library! This time, it’s Jedi Qui-Gon of Asari Healing fame. All sorts of shenanigans went down after that which would take a while to resolve, but at the end of the day all is well. You can now find him wandering the halls of the Library as Neji7Hyuga.

SC’s Note: Unfortunately, patrons, this has proven to be false. Much to our disappointment, Jedi Qui-Gon recently, and in no way subtly, revealed that he more or less sees us and anybody else who partakes in the riffing of badfics as terrible people. He tried to claim that we’re obstructing people’s freedom of speech, and that we bully rookie authors who are just starting out, amongst other things. These claims are not only false, they’re slanderous, and show a striking lack of knowledge on his end about how things work here. So, sad to say, “Neji7Hyuga” won’t be rejoining the party anytime in the foreseeable future.

March 30, 2014

An unusual case occurs with one of our snarkers actually telling an author about a snarking in progress. This led to the author of Twin Humanities being directed to the snark; his response is best summed up by his completely disingenuous comment, which is full of the kind of self-agrandizing logical fallacies and pretentiousness that caused him to be alerted to the snarking in the first place. Thankfully, he seems to have gotten better, if this comment made almost two years later is any indication.

April 13, 2014

Another author discovers the Library; this time it’s one of the two authors of Twin Hearts. Star actually takes it with quite a bit of grace.

August 5, 2014

Through some rather complicated tomfoolery, the author of Secret of NIMH: New Leaf finds out about the snarking. At first freaked out by it, the author does eventually calm down enough to recognize that, contrary to what she was told, the Library did not in fact steal her story, though she understandably wasn’t entirely happy…

January 3, 2015

Well, that didn’t take long! Barely two days after the new year, LightBlueLightning discovers the snark of Devil May Cry 4: Remake. She accuses SC of killing her passion for writing just because of one snark in a comment littered with ellipses and other bullshit like that. The Librarians (and the patrons) didn’t bite into the pity party.

February 8, 2015

And the hat comes off: turns out that Writer of Eryn Lasgalen was writing a trollfic with To Love Another Soul. Kitty and SC were in on it of course, and turned the whole thing into a massive prank on the Librarians. Herr is now plotting exactly how he’s gonna top Kitty’s prank…

April 17, 2015

Another author discovers the Library: this time, it’s the author of X-com:The Kisaragi Squad. We… honestly had no idea what the author’s feelings on the snarking are at first. However, via fanfiction.net PM, Herr has it on good authority that Axel The Moon found the snarking to be hilarious. Yay!

October 19, 2015

Jeremiah Rice of FZero LX: Enter the Eagles of Faith finds the Library; his comment is a long letter which acknowledges his errors and takes the snarking with a great deal of grace. It’s also confirmed that, thankfully, it was not intended as Bible thumping. Thank goodness for minor miracles, no?

December 4, 2015

MaesterDimentio, author of Fire Emblem: ReAwaken discovers his riff, and reveals to the Librarians that it’s actually one of his old shames! Makes the riff easier, doesn’t it?

January 20, 2016

Fairly soon after the new year, the author of Yes, But It’s a Female Zombie discovers the riff. And miraculously, Cyberweasel89 is a great sport about it.

January 26, 2016

Well, that was fast. Barely six days after the last discovery, the author of My Job On Australian Wheel of Fortune comes to us. The man now known as nostalgiaking is a great sport about it as well, laughing along with the rest of us too!

February 14, 2016

Is it me, or are we on a roll this year? This time, it’s the author of Fantasy Life pops in and says hi, saying he found the riff to be hilarious! (Although he did still try and make excuses for why his fic was bad… while also acknowledging that he wrote a badfic. Curious.)

March 16, 2016

After a string of six authors who did not mind their fics getting ripped to shreds, L.Q. Brooks of Quarter Quell “fame” finally broke the combo with possibly the most passive aggressive comment ever posted to the Library. And then he was like “wait, I didn’t mean it like that”. So… uh… good on her? Yeah, this was a little weird for us, too. But thankfully, our response was clarified a little bit, because now she’s on the Library, and actually guest-riffing herself! Who’d’ve thunk it?

May 7, 2016

Another author finds us here, this time the author of Love of a Spartan. This author takes the criticism with quite a bit of grace, even going so far as to say other authors should use the Library as a resource to improve. Hooray!

May 9, 2016

Via his private email, SC finally meets N’jata, the author of A Legend of the Past, a Savior of the Future, whom Stone-Man85 ripped off almost verbatim in his own fic. Turns out, Stone-Man85’s source of inspiration is none too impressed with being plagiarized, and has chucked in his support of the riffing! What a guy!

November 2, 2016

And our nine-author streak of people who took it well had to end somewhere, I guess. This time, it was the author of Orc, who took to the Library’s comments to be all passive-aggressive and stuff. On the plus side, we finally know what it’s like to have a pretentious author have an angry reply on here, and it’s every bit as dumb as we would’ve expected.

April 7, 2017

Perhaps one of the fastest responses from an author we’ve had, the author of Subnautica The Novel (Chapter 4 Bundle is out!) discovers Ghostie’s riff only three weeks after it got started, and is rather unhappy about it. Of course, in their efforts to defend their fic, they only manage to prove the riffers right about the fic being bad.


248 Comments on “Author Endorsements”

  1. Don’t know if anyone would be interested enough to tackle this bohemoth of a fic BUT apparently A Jedis Destiny Rise of the Sith is based off of another Land Before Time fic with the name of BOSE which means Battle of the Sacred Essenceswritten by author ThunderBlade. A little side fact, apparently the raptor battle scene in the Jedi fic was almost copied word for word from this one.

    • TacoMagic says:

      Oh sweet merciful sith raptor!

      I’ll have to check that out.

    • That mess is a fanfic of a fanfic?!?

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      Holy crap! I just… there are two of those fucking things!?

      *headdesk*

      • erttheking says:

        Parallel Realities all over again huh?

      • Herr Wozzeck says:

        You have no idea. At least I’m actually snarking the original and not the rip-off.

    • SwingSweetSeraphim says:

      I honestly hope that you do Taco I have enjoyed your riff of A Jedi’s Destiny but I can understand if you want to take a break from the odd Land Before Time Star Wars crossovers. I have read some of this fic and honestly the first chapter looks like its about 50 typed pages.

  2. drunkensoviet says:

    Not sure what you guys think of this but…..

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6352108/1/Mass-Effect-The-Outsider

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      I won’t speak for Taco, but from where I stand, snarking this fic is totally off-limits. Sure, it’s silly, sure, it’s too cross-overy, and sure, some parts are dumb. But it has tons of fun with itself, and I feel that the fact that it never takes itself too seriously is a plus. It’s like an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie for me: it’s silly, but it’s enjoyable precisely because it’s silly.

      (Well, that, and Sarge1995 and I have become really good friends through this fic and my own. The only rule of snarking that I have never broken is that fics by friends are off-limits for me, not because I don’t want to hurt their feelings (Sarge has since said to me that he sees that this fic could’ve been a lot better), but because I respect them too much to want to make fun of their stuff.)

      • drunkensoviet says:

        Fair enough

      • You could always do it as a Sunday Special.

  3. erttheking says:

    If anyone is interested in ripping a piece of shit courtesy of yours truly apart, feel free.

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5869588/1/Fighting-for-a-Purpose-V2

    • DasCheesenBorgir says:

      Ooooh, NOW I remember where I’ve seen you before! Goddamn, I remember reading that way back when, pretty sure it was some time during the summer when I was just browsing for all sorts of Halo crossovers…

      Ah, good times. Feels a little pretentious for me of all people to pass judgement on it, but I wouldn’t call it a piece of shit per se. It was, for one thing, notably different and imo at the time better than v1.

      I could swear I was waiting for some weirdass pairing between one of the elite leads and the other native alien… things that would logically never happen too XD

  4. Neshomeh says:

    Greetings, noble sporkers! I hail from yon PPC Posting Board, and I come bearing tidings of—okay, no, that’s enough.

    I have a fic that deserves the fullest MST treatment you can give. I’m sporking it myself, PPC-style, but I can’t cover ALL the hilarious malapropisms, insane turns of logic, and purple descriptions that way, and this… well, see for yourselves: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8174397/1/Blood-Raining-Night

    To bastardize a Harry Potter quote, this fic will be famous, and every sporker on the Internet will know its name. It’s a megacrossover of a bunch of animes with a giant Mary Sue OC in the middle, and it’s so amazing that no one I’ve showed it to can tell for sure whether it’s a troll or not. I’m more inclined to think it’s serious, because no troll I’ve heard of ever went to the trouble of making a deviantART account full of MS Paint-esque drawings of the OCs, and turning the story into YouTube animations with “voice acting” by their friends, and making their own website for it… but that’s just me.

    Enjoy!

    ~Neshomeh, who hopes the HTML works, since she apparently can’t preview before posting. {= (

    • :click:

      Sweet baby Jebus. I think my brain is melting.

      • Neshomeh says:

        Yeah, it’ll do that to you. Beware “hentai” chapters 5 and 9, by the way. 5 is just stupid, but 9 is rather icky and disturbing.

      • And of course I had to look. That is just so much wrongness.

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      Oh hey there, Nesh! =D Let’s see what–

      The summary spells cat with two ‘a’s… And the prose… Good Christ, the prose!

      I feel bad for poor Nume and Ilraen. I barely got through two paragraphs of this thing before I was like “yeah, I don’t think I should read this futher”. And may God help Ghostie should she decide to take this on…

      • I’m not really familiar with the characters or the canon, but then the fic author doesn’t seem to be either.

      • Neshomeh says:

        Hiya, Herr! *wavewave* The prose does not improve, ever, and the logic actually goes downhill as it goes on (and it was still in progress last time I checked). You’re probably making the right choice. Even Nume had to admit to needing backup for this one, so they’re dragging Jenni along.

        As for the characters, whatever the author does know about them gets promptly tossed out the window as soon as it isn’t convenient to the, er, plot. We’ll call it that. So, yeah. Anyone could probably riff it based on the writing alone, but the canon mistakes do add to the lovely bouquet of WTF.

    • TacoMagic says:

      o.O

      I just…

      *Flagrant brain error. Please reboot Taco.*

      • :sigh:

        I’ll go get the chili peppers, mop, and bucket of sour cream out of the storage locker.

    • Neshomeh says:

      Fear no more, gentle snarkers! “Blood Raining Night” the PPC Mission has arrived!

      ~Neshomeh

  5. Qwizbo says:

    Two very bad pieces:
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9157142/1/
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5756485/1/

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      No. 1:

      LOL, someone linked to that one in the PPC’s board. You know the fic probably sucks when the author’s name is a weird mish-mash of letters that would be out of place even in the Cthuhlu mythos. But yeah…

      No. 2:

      I… what? What? The first chapter is barely even a paragraph long! And the punctuation… And the grammar… I don’t… I…

      *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*

    • Silky says:

      I love it when fanfics are based on something so obscure!

  6. Can’t get a link, shitty school computer, but…try Starkits Prophcy [sic]. Has a TVTropes article.

  7. SC says:

    I’ve got one that I found and am doing my own MST of:

    Lost odyssey 2 by sonic06.

    We have generic bad guy locked away for greater good, the main cast end up eating shit nnot even two chapters in, and, oh yes:

    Despite that it is listed as a 2,000 word single chapter…

    The whole story is submitted in said single chapter.

    Here, it’s easier if you see it for yourselves: Prepare your brain bleach.

    It’s also listed as a comedy/suspense story, by the way. Yeah, I’ll let you guys figure that our.

    Just for giggles, I’ll even link to part one of my MST in the works: Two Wizards and a Treasure Hunter Make an MST!

    Enjoy, though I doubt you will.

  8. Leobracer says:

    Found a Gary StU.S.A. fic that I’m sure you guys will love to rip apart:

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9337994/1/USA-vs-the-Batarian-hegemony

    • SC says:

      I mean, I know America has a habit of puffing its ego up and all, but really now, did it deserve to be Stu’d?

  9. parrish122 says:

    Here’s a story that is only a couple of chapters long so far, but I predict it will go from bad to brain-melting awful. It’s “Shepard’s human and Garrus is…human?” By Halenewfound

    http://m.Fanfiction.net/s/972149412/Shepard-is-a-Human-and-Garrus-is-a-human

    The author has an unfortunate habit of leaving out words in their sentences. But the big problem is the storyline. After making it clear that Shepard and Garrus adore each other, the writer then has Mordin say that he wants to experiment on Garrus.

    Shepard not only says it’s ok, she doesn’t even ask what it is Mordin wants to do. When Garrus protests, Shepard tells him not to worry because Mordin knows what he’s doing. How she’s so sure of this, I don’t know, since she has no idea what he even wants to try and do.

    It really only gets worse from there. Fun, right?

    • parrish122 says:

      Whoops, messed up on the link in the above post. Try this one instead.

      http://m.Fanfiction.net/s/9721494/1/Shepard-is-a-Human-and-Garrus-is-a-Human

      • Herr Wozzeck says:

        *reads*

        Holy fuck, the first two sentences would set off the DRD alarms!

        *reads on*

        Okay… um… why is the fear of needles supposed to be funny again?

        *reads on*

        Okay, first of all, I can’t be the only one who finds anything incredibly fucking creepy about Shepard teaching Garrus English like he’s a small child or something. Second of all… Wait, what? Shepard, did you just make the implication that you like Garrus better as a turian, and that thus you might not have been as in love with him as you say?

        *headdesk*

        Yeah, this is Library material alright. I’ll go ahead and put it on the ‘to adopt’ list. Taco or I can probably get to it at some point.

  10. Greneda says:

    I present a rare and unique beast for your flames.
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7249502/1/The-Game-Changer
    This story has got to be the most polished, well camouflaged, wish fulfilment ,self-insert fan fiction, I have ever encountered. I consider this thing the freaking ninja of Gary Stu stories. To my utter embarrassment, shame and disgust, I actually thought it was a excellent piece of Sekirei fanfiction. I even recommended it to some of my fellow fanfiction readers (big mistake).
    It all came crashing down at the end of chapter 19 following into chapter 20.

    Here’s a small taste.

    The OC (who is introduced along the canon characters, so its not an AU Story) is a American baseball player named Cash Joseph Archer. The OC is revealed to be (ch 19-20) the chosen one/heir to a ancient secret society of Sekirei descendants, specifically bred to rule the planet. Within the first five chapters he manages to shack up with the strongest females in the story. Because his psych brain waves, he literally gets jumped in the baseball stadium, on the pitchers mound, by the most powerful canon story female character.

    +Grabs the brain bleach” I must cleanse myself!

  11. parrish122 says:

    Oh, I found the teaching Garrus English scene weird as well. But there seemed to be a couple of logic faults as well.

    For one, it’s stated that Garrus can’t talk because he doesn’t know English. But wouldn’t he know Shepard’s name *anyway*? He isn’t calling her something in Turian that’s translated into Shepard, is he?

    The second thing that struck me wrong with the scene also stems from Mordin saying that Garrus’ speaking issues are because he doesn’t know English. Wouldn’t the *much* bigger problem be that he’s trying to use a different physical instrument to speak with? I’m certainly not an expert on Turian biology, but just the fact that they sound so different from us would make me think that Garrus would have to do a lot of adjusting to his new body. Talking, walking…all sorts of what we concider simple tasks would be a challenge for him.

    Speaking of that–it’ll be interesting to see how well he handles putting on those clothes that Shepard shoved at him before running off. He’s got extra fingers now, after all. That should slow him down.

    My bet is that the writer doesn’t even address this at all.

  12. Have you guys ever though to riff a perfect lionheat fanfic.

    • I should explain. Lionheart is a good technical writer, but he is a horrible, horrible good, non sociopath story writer.

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      Hm… I’ve never heard of this Perfect Lionheart before. Would you link to his stuff?

      • http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4240771/1/Partially-Kissed-Hero
        http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3929411/1/Chunin-Exam-Day

        Do not be fooled by the openings, they quickly descend into madness.

      • Herr Wozzeck says:

        Oh dear, Naruto fanfics. Everyone, step back, this is Lyle’s department!

      • "Lyle" says:

        Same here, I’ve not heard of him. Please link! :)

      • There’s also a harry potter fic in there.

      • Wow. The mechanics are quite good, but poor Harry is turned into a Stepford child in just the first chapter.

      • It only gets worse ghostcat, it only gets worse.

      • I don’t think I can make it through the whole thing; it’s so long – 103 chapters and 480K+ words. The longest book in the series is only around 250K.

      • I would ask for help if you do it ghostie, if not for writing support then moral support.

  13. My comment with the link is awaiting “moderation”.

  14. erttheking says:

    Is it possible to review web comics here? If so I got one HELL of a stinker here. An avatar comic.

    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Webcomic/HowIBecameYours?from=Main.HowIBecameYours

    How I became yours, almost as offensive to women as From Another World…and it was written by a woman…and a psychotic Zutara shipper…who got banned from deviantart for tracing images…be very afraid.

    • Leobracer says:

      If it wasn’t for the fact that my computer got destroyed, I would have asked myself if I could riff that. But oh well, I would love to see that get ripped to shreds.

  15. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Hello, library of the damned! (That’s a sentence I never though I would say…)
    Are your critiques limited to fanfiction.net stories or not?
    Because recently, I enconuntered this piece of crap on fimfiction.net:
    http://www.fimfiction.net/story/48531/the-moon-need-friends-too
    The author flat out stated that he sucked at spelling and grammar. Not to mention the OOCness of some canon characters. (Typical symptom of badly written Human in Equestria fic.)
    But if you don’t do stories outside of fanfic.net, can you please take a look at this story?
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9255887/1/XCOM-To-Boldly-Go
    A crossover between XCOM Enemy Unknown and Star Trek. ….I can’t even describe it, just read it and find out.
    This is my first post here, so if I’m doing something wrong, please correct me, thank you!

    • TacoMagic says:

      We’re open to non-fanfics, though we haven’t really gone there yet. I’ve been kicking around the idea of doing a few really awful freebooks I found on amazon, so I’d say we will definitely consider doing them.

      As for the XCOM fic. Ow. That sucker abused a whole fleet of thesauruses, didn’t it?

      I’ll add it to our hidden to-do list with all the others.

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        A fleet of thesauruses? I see what you did there…
        Also, how many fics do you already have on your list?

      • TacoMagic says:

        My personal list has about 15 fics on it that I will eventually get to, while our communal fic pool is around 30 deep at this point.

        Granted there isn’t a ‘queue’ per se. Pretty much whenever we need something to riff we root around in our to-do pile until we find something we want. Given that both Herr and myself are XCOM fans, there’s a good chance the second one will move to the top of the pool.

        That said, I’ve got about 40-45 weeks worth of material lined up for when I’m done with my current CoD series, and I know Herr has a pretty beefy fic that he’s got lined up after his current string of one-shots.

        That does give me plenty of time to go back and finish XCOM:EU, though. I was distracted by the V18 release of Xenonauts and never went back to finish it.

    • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

      My first post, where it all started.
      Looking back at it two years later, I’ve come a long way from then.

  16. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8918651/1/The-Legacy-of-Gage-Remastered
    Yet another shitty MLP fic with a Gary Stu human in Equestria.
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9312833/1/Radioactive-Dawn
    This one’s interesting, it’s actually inspired by ert’s From the Ashes. But the premise of this story is that the Council declared war on Earth after they refused to join. So, yeah, another COUNCIL IZ EVUL fic.

    • erttheking says:

      I actually gave that guy my blessing but never really looked too closely. I kinda lost interest early on when there weren’t any major post-war communities outside of North America. Heck, I had five (later six) outside of North America out of the grand total of seven Post-War superpowers. Granted it was just background information, but background information MATTERS damn it.

      Also I’m gonna fess up and admit that there was some Council bashing when Humanity in my story met the Council. I didn’t intend for it to come off as bashing, more of what would happen if these two people of extremely different views would do if they met and clearly the Coalition wouldn’t like what the Council is doing and wouldn’t join them. Then again, the theme I have going with my story is that the Coalition and Council REALLY don’t like each other and are more or less in a minor Cold War, so it kind of made sense.

      I felt kinda guilty about the Council bashing though, so I slipped in some moments here and there later on where the Council got some good points in in an argument and one of the main characters even had a speech where he defended the Council. Hope no one minds if they read my story, I kinda messed up there, but it does get better if that helps any. Also I’m planning for the Council to really have their moment and give it their all when the shit really hits the fan in my story.

      Dear God I like to ramble.

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        Not nearly as bad as that one story with USA fighting Batarians though. Seriously? I was going to point out a few things wrong with that story, but Guest2 in the comment section did a far better job than I ever could.

      • Herr Wozzeck says:

        Wait, what’s this about a USA fighting batarian story?

        Oh fuckballs, don’t tell me it’s an ArmedSammy production…

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        It’s this fic, in case anyone wonders.Leobracer alredy requested this before. I really, REALLY want to see you tear it to shreds.
        http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9337994/1/USA-vs-the-Batarian-hegemony

  17. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    I just read that XCOM crossover again… Here are my thoughts:
    In XCOM, humanity was nearly enslaved by the aliens but ultimately managed to destroy them by turning their technology against them. I’ve read some interesting stories about XCOM crossovers, it’s interesting to watch how the humans managed to overcome their Xenophobia and learn to cooperate with other races.
    This story, though… The humans outright ENSLAVED the entire Vulcan race, you would think that a race nearly enslaved by aliens WOULDN’T try to enslave others. Maybe Harvey Dent is right after all…

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      Not to mention that it’s already taken people severely OOC. In canon, Dr. Vahlen is nowhere near as sadistic as this fic makes her appear, and as I said earlier I’m pretty sure that XCOM was strictly for defense and would rarely attack on their own accord unless civilians were in danger.

      I shudder to think about enslaving the entire Vulcan race…

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        Well, at least XCOM crossovers CAN be great when done right.
        Here’s a pretty recent one:
        http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9736821/1/Enemy-Returned

  18. SC says:

    Alright, people! Chapter one of the Legend of Zelda MST Taco threw at me is done, and here are the links to each part for your reading convenience.

    Or inconvenience. DA doesn’t allow me to download the text file anymore, for some stupid reason, and I have to put my work behind a mature content filter.

    Anyhow:

    Part one
    Part two
    Part three

    • TacoMagic says:

      Oh! Just saw that you posted these.

      *Gets out his reading glasses*

      Time to dive in!

      • SC says:

        Unfortunately, Taco, I won’t be able to get anymore parts up because fanfiction.net insists that you copy the whole chapter if you’re going to at all, and my phone has a very strict 1500 character limit, which I constantly misidentify as word limit.

        At least, it’s dead until I can get a proper computer to finish the work.

      • TacoMagic says:

        Bum deal. Oh well, here’s sending you computer wishes.

        Maybe I should do the computer rain dance. Or ask ID to go threw a computer warehouse.

      • SC says:

        Please not that last one, Please not that last one!!

  19. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    So I found this OTHER XCOM crossover, this one is a x-over with ME, and thank god, the humans in this one AREN’T a bunch of warmongering maniacs.
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8861606/1/XCOM-Second-Contact

  20. erttheking says:

    Guys? I hath found a Looney.

    http://www.fanfiction.net/u/990976/

    Apparently this guy is a bit of a psychotic man child who talks about a flame war he was a part of ten years ago like he’s a freaking Nam vet, obsesses over pairings that he likes not getting together despite the shows ending years ago, constantly puts self inserts into his stories, is racist, sexist and homophobic, bashes bronies for believing in friendship and talks about how his power comes from hate in ways that bring to mind images of a five year old jumping around with a plastic red lightsaber and a a black cloak, thinks his MLP fics are better than what Lauren Faust did (Despite him blatantly stealing from the pilot at one point) and so much more fun fun fun.

    He’s a regular Chris-chan.

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      Damn. It’s been seven years and he’s still talking about some stupid flame war? Jesus…

      I guarantee you he’d shut the fuck up if only he knew what Archangel Kaiser Scott was capable of, then. I’ll see about his fics soon enough.

      • erttheking says:

        I think this is the crowning moment of suck for him. His MLP hate fic.

        http://www.fimfiction.net/story/9894/My-Little-Unicorn%3A-Magic-is-Believing

      • Herr Wozzeck says:

        Damn. Turns out it’s got a TVTropes page: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/MyLittleUnicorn

      • Always a good sign.

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        Oh dear, was going to recommend it to you, My Little Unicorn is definetely an Omega-class bad fic. Fun fact: In one of the chapters, the author’s self-insert was bullied by Dusk Shine, Dusk Shine is the user name of someone who called out how bad his fic is.

      • Ooh, I call dibs on his Corpse Bride fics!

      • Herr Wozzeck says:

        Oh dear. Are you sure you should be doing that many longer fics, Ghostie? I mean, with Kawaii Desu Vampire Sexy, you’ve got enough on your hands, don’t you think?

      • After forty-ish chapters, fifteen or sixteen doesn’t seem so long. At least his fics have complete sentences.

    • Oh, how bad can it be?

      :clicks on profile link:

      Sweet mercy, it just keeps going and going. How many theme songs could one person write for themselves?

  21. ZosKiasCultus says:

    Probably a troll but anything by The Pete Peterson Experience is worth a read, here are some of his most lulzy worthy stories in my opinion;

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8416728/1/Walter-and-Jesse-s-Adventure

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9720669/1/Bees

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9587667/1/Carnivaldo

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      Ah, The Pete Peterson Experience. I might take Sly Cooper Opens A Resturant to the snarking block one of these days, if only to talk about its… ahem… interesting take on bashing someone.

  22. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Anyone interested in doing a Mass Effect alternative review? The one where inharmsway turns Miranda into a mustache twirling villainess?

    • erttheking says:

      You mean the one where she gets half of her face blown off with a shotgun? Yeah that’s certainly on the to do list, but I found a Dark Souls fic that I think will work nicely so I’ll be tied up for awhile.

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        It was a handgun, which makes it even more absurd. Hello, IHW! There’s this wonderful new invention called KINETIC BARRIER, it blocks gun shots, and pretty much everyone has it. Ring any bells yet?

      • erttheking says:

        Not to mention Miranda is a biotic and should have natural barriers that serve the exact same function, but let InHarmsWay have his hate fic. You know, I’ll admit having written crap like this before, but I deleted it from the internet out of shame. InHarmsWay doesn’t seem to feel like that.

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      The thing about that one is that it actually did have a little bit of promise. Of course, what promise it did have was immediately squandered by shit writing. I mean, Miranda planted a control chip in his brain, so Shepard has to fight it, right? Nope. Fights it off successfully and has it removed a couple of chapters later.

      It also gets points for becoming deadfic at the point that IHW realized “oh shit, I need to come up with my own original story now”. That right there tells you all you need to know about why he really wanted to write that fic.

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        I was thinking maybe the control chip subtly affects Shepard in a way that he doesn’t notice, like a voice in the back of his head. The chip causes him to act more Renegade when he was a Paragon throughout ME1 arc, so ME1 teammates plus Joker and Chakwas took notice of this and mentioned that Shepard changed a lot since Cerberus brought him back. Eventually Shepard realizes that Miranda DID implant him with a control chip, which leads to a confrontation.
        I know, it sounds boring, but I came with that idea in 5 minutes and even THAT is a much better idea than the crap IHW pulled.
        Why can’t IHW write an AU where things change dramatically due to the differences from the main universe?

        (Maybe a universe where Liara is a Reaper doomsday device and Shepard is addicted to steaks?)

  23. Review this please, it’s apparently the spiritual successor to “My Immortal”.

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9552184/1/Moon-Daughter

    • parrish122 says:

      This truly needs to be reviewed! I’m about half-way through it, and just when I think it can’t get more insane…it ramps up the WTF factor! People losing their virginity by kissing, getting herpes by smoking pot, and (my personal favorite) getting turned into a grape without a soul. Which implies that at least some grapes have souls.

  24. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Wow, just wow. I’ve read My Brave Unicorn and I’ve heard of Mykan, but this is just… Sad.
    All those self-absorbed theme songs, stuff about flame wars, stuff about Teen Titans and pony bashing aside, he outright stated that he doesn’t like 3 dimensional characters and hate 3 dimensional villains that aren’t complete monsters and can be redeemed. And there’s this gem:
    “I prefer story plots to my liking. The bad guy sends the monster– the heroes beat the monster, and maybe the the guy gets the girl”
    “I don’t see any 3-Dimensional characters in anything that I’ve seen, not even that ridiculous Twilight Sparkle. I just want my fics written flat out, done my thing and be done with it fast.”
    I mean, seriously? Flat characters and power ranger formula are considered not only OK, but preferable? What kind of fucked up Bizarro-verse is this guy from?

    • He disses Twilight Sparkle?!? Oh, hell no. I’m moving him up the list.

  25. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Guys, I found another awful Fimfiction story.
    http://www.fimfiction.net/story/141948/mass-effect
    It’s an AU fic where the Mane Six were frozen by a freezing spell and when they woke up, Equestria has already developed FTL and Mass Effect fields technology. I think you know where this is going…
    I pointed out various flaws of the story in the comment section, as you can see, the author was… uncooperative.

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      So he gets into an argument of semantics and then is all “no, sorry, this is my story I’ll tell it how I want” anyway?

      What a dick.

    • erttheking says:

      WHAT!? That’s not even the “Well, it’s the artistic style I chose to go with this story” argument it’s the “This doesn’t make sense? Fuck you I do what I want” argument.

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        In case you didn’t read my comment on Fimfic, I’ll just leave this here.

        ERT?! You have a fimfiction account? Anyway, it’s not just that. As I said, the Mane Six lost all their families and friends. Sure, they still have each other, Spike and the Princesses. But Twilight has her parents AND her BBBFF! Rarity has her parents and Sweetie Belle! AJ has a HUGE family and now EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM is dead and there’s no way for them to go back. Yet one minute they were like “Oh no, all our families and friends died of old age.” And the next they were like “YAY! SPACESHIP!” WTF?

      • erttheking says:

        Yeah…I see that. The Fim account was actually a response to this whole mess.

        Also I’m gonna admit I thought doing things like changing the Reapers to slaughterers was kinda cool. Then I saw all the name changes he made. By the end of the story I wanted to cut myself.

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        Update. The mods banned me for being “more caustic than Shane” even though all I said was “You’re pathetic.” and he called me a “xxxxsucker”. Man, what the hell is wrong with this world. Seriously considering leaving Fimfiction now.

      • Herr Wozzeck says:

        *headdesk*

        He encouraged another reader to shut up about his story?

        *headdesk*

        Again: what a dick.

        Well, SFY, you’re more than welcome to take it to the snarking block now. I get the feeling he more than deserves it at this point.

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        And yet the mods are on his side… Iustitia mortua…

  26. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    12 hours until my Fimfiction expires… They don’t even have the decency of letting me check my Favourite Stories folder.
    Man, whoever banned me was a total dick. I called the author guy (who takes criticism about as well as Amy’s Baking Company) “pathetic”, he called me a “cocksucker”, and I’m the one who got banned and he walks away totally fine? I just… I…
    Fuck.

    In other less depressing news, can someone check this out: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9244622/1/My-Little-Fallout-Vegas-Isn-t-Magic
    Yes, another pony fic, this one’s a crossover with New Vegas, it did have a LITTLE bit of promise at the start, but that was quickly destroyed by poor pacing, OOC moments and pointless references(And trust me, there are LOTS of those.) I tried to communicate the author through private messaging, and did achieve some success…before he eventually banned me.
    (Come to think of it, I probably WAS a bit harsh to him, though it probably has something to do with my English really wasn’t this good back then, I’m Chinese by the way.)

    • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

      Correction: till my Fimfiction BAN expires, not my account

    • Leobracer says:

      Honestly, why would they ban someone all because he/she was trying to give honest to god critism to an author that blatantly ignored it?

      • Herr Wozzeck says:

        ‘Cause apparently, the author that ignored it is a special little snowflake with an easily bruised ego and all that stuff.

  27. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    I beat XCOM Declassified… God, the storyline is so bad that if it’s a fanfic, it should be on this site… Not to mention the parts where it blatantly rips off ME , makes me wonder why didn’t anyone sue 2K for this.

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      And that, my friend, is why I stuck with the “strategy” bit of XCOM and spent my money on the Enemy Within expansion rather than bother with The Bureau.

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        Meh, didn’t waste any money on that shitty game, that’s why we have Piratebay and Skidrow.
        Gotta admit the live action trailers were pretty awesome, especially the one with Orbit the clown. But since the game’s tagline is “erase the truth”, you would think that they’d put a lot of “erasing” into the game, right? They didn’t. It’s just you, two of your randomly generated generic teammates, and a whole bunch of aliens to kill. And then there are the ripoff parts: Axis boss fight completely rips off Warden Kuril boss fight from ME2, the deicison to save which of your teammate rips off Virmire, and there’s the obvious dialogue wheel. Enemy Within is awesome though, FINALLY took down Exalt HQ a few days ago, bastards put up a good fight, but they were still no match for two MEC-2, one alloy SHIV with sentinel module and laser cannon, and three g-modded colonels.

      • Herr Wozzeck says:

        Wow, it was that much of a copycat, huh? I admit to seeing a gameplay trailer and thinking to myself “oh hey, the only thing that’s even remotely XCOMmy about this is the cover symbols that show up that will likely be completely useless once the actual gameplay comes in”. And to think I almost considered giving it a test run.

        Ah well. That’s more Enemy Within for me!

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        If you like Enemy Within, check this out:
        https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9736821/1/Enemy-Returned
        It’s impressive, really. The author actually managed to incorporate EW elements into it BEFORE Enemy Within actually came out. And it also avoided the overused “XCOM humanity making first contact with Turians” route.
        Also, for the game itself:
        http://xcom.nexusmods.com/mods/378/
        http://xcom.nexusmods.com/mods/382/
        These two are my favourite XCOM texture mods. Unfortunately, since they were designed for Enemy Unknown, they don’t currently support Enemy Within completely at the moment. (nTex has a Enemy Within version, though it’s still incomplete, hasn’t tried the new Operative Retexture with EW yet, don’t know if it works or not)

  28. Leobracer says:

    Hey guys, remember that Fanfic that I said I would work on called Ghost Fleet: Fall of the Galactic Order, that would be written in response to Mass Effect: Parallel Realities?

    Well due to real life issues, and the fact that my computer is no longer working, I’m afraid I won’t be able to get it up within the time I had hoped.

    More than likely I’m going to wait till I get a new computer to start working on it, which probaly won’t happen until next year.

    But, while the fic may not be ready, I did however make this up if anyone would like to take a look:

    http://leobracerstudios.deviantart.com/journal/#/journal/Ghost-Fleet-War-Assets-365531551?_sid=5b22bf2f

  29. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Hoo, boy… Just beat the XCOM base defense, lost two base defense guys and my best assault guy was critically wounded. But I took out 42 of those alien bastards, ha!
    Also, check this out: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/100694/a-moons-shadow
    This is one of my first failed attempts to “save” a story from badness, mostly because I was a huge Sonic fan and Shadow’s one of my favorite characters. Unfortunately, dumbass author ruined any chance for this story to be decent, or at least not as bad.

    • Leobracer says:

      *checks out link, reads the comments*

      *facepalm*

      Jesus Merciful Christ, why are there people who can’t take criticism for Jehovah’s sake?

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        Hell if I know, Amy’s Baking Company must be their favourite restaurant.

      • Herr Wozzeck says:

        Well, ’cause people don’t like to admit they’re wrong about certain things. It happens all the time all throughout the world, y’know?

  30. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    *headdesk*
    So I was wondering whether or not should I play ME3 knowing the ending sucked, when I came across this quote from Game Informer:
    “In Mass Effect 3, you know you need to take back Earth, but the path to victory is less clear at the outset. You won’t just find some long-lost Reaper “off” button; says Hudson”
    Wow, just wow, now I finally know why did they sue Bioware for false advertising.

  31. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Guys, I found another bad XCOM fic:
    https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9866561/1/X-Com-a-new-threat
    You know it’s gonna be bad when the author outright stated he never played ME1. And the timeline is FULL OF Whiskey Tango Foxtrot moments: What the fuck is a Wraith armor? How the hell did the Turians find them if they only approached the relay without activating it? How did they make it to Shanxi without relay’s help? Explain things, author!

  32. superfeatheryoshi says:

    Do people even read these stuff I write, anyways…
    http://www.fimfiction.net/story/43422/dark-wanderings
    This is a pretty old story actually, it started out OK… Then Gary Stu and OOC moments start popping up, and things soon started to go from bad to worse… Hint: A text book example of Deus Ex Machina near the end.

  33. PokemaDiva says:

    MLP FanFic Reading: The End of a Nightmare and everything in mlpforums.com, http://www.fimfiction.net/group/168/grimdark‎, http://www.equestriadaily.com, http://www.equestriaforums.com, http://www.everypony.com › … › Fan-Fiction › Fictions › Grimdark/Horror‎, and creepypasta.com.

  34. erttheking says:

    https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8915644/1/Halo-Mass-Revelation

    A Halo/Mass Effect crossover with ANOTHER all powerful race of sues with a Monarchy. Fuck’s sake, this is becoming a staple.

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      Hm… Well, after skimming it, it’s clear the author at least wants this to be an actual AU. Whatever else happens in the fic, at least it’s not an AU-in-name-only deal that we keep seeing from just about everyone else who thought that premise was a good idea.

      Thank God for that: I think we’ve finally found a fic with this premise that isn’t interested in regurgitating the entire ME trilogy with all these superficial fantasy elements thrown in for no reason.

      • erttheking says:

        Oh goody, it’s actually original. Wish that changed the fact that we’re dealing with quite possibly the most overblown race of sues I’ve ever scene.

      • Herr Wozzeck says:

        Oh, I’m not saying the Sues are well-developed by any means. Sues are still Sues, y’know? And I’m not saying it was a good attempt at AUifying something, either.

        I’m just saying that there’s at least some effort put into it. And really, when your whole genre was kickstarted by the lazily written shitfest that was Parallel Realities, can you really hold that against a fic?

      • erttheking says:

        Fair enough

  35. Andre V. says:

    https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8915644/1/Halo-Mass-Revelation
    try this out, stinks of halo wank with a race of From Another World style sue race,
    also comes with idiocy, overreactions and extremely dumb characters
    (warning, may cause eyes to bleed and a hatred of Halo and Mass Effect)

    • Andre V. says:

      *with a From Another World style sue race*
      flipping keys are too small

      • Herr Wozzeck says:

        Sorry, Andre. Ert beat you to it…

        Still though, that kind of Parallel Realities/FAW-style Sue race is getting old, it seriously is.

      • Andre V. says:

        sorry. didn’t notice it, anyway found another halo wank Halo/ME crossover
        might not be library worthy, but the author seems like a total douchebag when given valid criticism and logic
        https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8822085/1/Halo-Mass-Contact
        In chapter nine he’s a massive dick to reviewers who point out inconsistencies
        i.e. a Nimitz class carrier weighs 100,000 tons and yet a 1km cruiser designed to cruise through space covered up to it’s tits in armor only weighs 15,000 because space titanium.

      • Herr Wozzeck says:

        Hm… I don’t really know Halo all that well. That said, though, the author does act like a bit of a dick in some of the things he says in the author’s notes. So…

        I dunno. I’ll go ahead and check it out at some point. It might not be Library worthy, but what isn’t Library-worthy could always be worthy of the PPC…

    • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

      Look above you…

    • drunkensoviet says:

      Hey, I’m having a bit of trouble finding an ME-Halo crossover fic that I used to read.

      Basically after the Human-Covenant war humanity started to splinter into different factions

      • drunkensoviet says:

        Wait, I just found it

  36. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    *Warning! High concentration of stupidity beyond this point.*
    http://www.fimfiction.net/story/48531/the-moon-need-friends-too
    Gary Stu main character? Check.
    Canon character almost immediately fell for said G.Stu? Check.
    Almost every common character acting OOC due to the presence of a Black Hole Stu? Check.
    Extremely bad grammar and spelling? Check.
    Author using learning disabilities as excuse for said grammar and spelling issues? Check.
    Author calling not accepting criticism and calling people who give him constructive criticism “Trolls”? Double check.

  37. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Guys, have a look at this.
    https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7580883/1/VoldeGoo
    It’s a Fallout/Harry Potter crossover, and it’s bad, real bad.

    • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

      The author didn’t even BOTHER to hide that the main OC is his self insertion and he actually told people to fuck off if they don’t like the story.

      • SC says:

        Yup. Seems legit.

        *sigh*

    • TacoMagic says:

      Suggestion box takes forever to load, so we rarely check it. I just got done pouring through everything here and adding it to our orphan list.

      Ye gods is there some bad stuff you guys have found.

  38. SC says:

    I think I’ve found the real life equivalent of a badfic author rejecting criticism.

    http://notalwaysright.com/his-lawyers-should-have-the-book-thrown-at-them/33693

    • :sigh:

      Totally believe it.

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      Yep, that happened. I wonder how that conversation would’ve gone if he had gone to a vanity publisher…

  39. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    http://www.fimfiction.net/story/68250/bad-endings-awesome-beginnings
    Dear god! This is probably the single most RANDOM story (other than trollfics of course) I’ve ever read!
    So here’s what I managed to get out of this one (Because my brain keeps giving me BSOD just from reading it) A group of (human) survivors from a zombie apocalypse gets teleported into Equestria, all but one were knocked out and the consious one… gets murdered by Shining Armor only a few chapters in. Just when I thought it was a surprisingly short story, the Princesses appear, fires SA from the guards (SERIOUSLY?! He MURDERED someone and he was only FIRED as a result?), it all goes downhill from here…

  40. superfeatheryoshi says:

    Reply to my comments goddamn it!
    Hey guys! I spotted yet another Gary Stu fic.
    https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9015499/1/No-Lord-No-masters
    A Fallout/Familiar of Zero crossover. This one has the Courier being pulled into Familiar of Zero universe (Note: The exact same idea has been done to death in other stories. Only in stead of the Courier, it’s the Lone Wanderer, Legate Lanius, Heero Yuy, Lelouch vi Britannia, Zero (Megaman), Son Gohan, Noble Six, Captain John Price, Dovahkiin… You get the idea.)and starting a revolution.
    I’ll be honest, everything I know about Familiar of Zero is from Wikipedia. But somehow, I still get the feeling that the author is demonizing everything about it in order to make his Courier look like the good guy.

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      Hm… Well, I’m not familiar with either canon, but I know that Ert has some familiarity with Fallout, so…

  41. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Hey Herr, you can forget about my last comment, THIS, just THIS:
    https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6545662/1/Mass-Avenger
    I know Shepard is a badass in canon, but holding off the entire Avenger team? Dodging Hawkeye’s arrows? Somehow breaking free when the FREAKING HULK grabbed him? Disabling Iron Man’s armor with disruption ammo? GOD! This is stupid.

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      Ah, this one. I’ve been reading it on and off for a while, knowing that it is a very dumb fic in some regards. Granted, there are some kernels of good ideas there (Miranda Lawson x Steve Rogers? Sign me up, please!), but a lot of the ideas are just dumb/rushed through/some combination of both.

      I might actually make a snarking of this eventually… I just need to watch more episodes of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        Also, this.
        http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9405952/1/
        Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

      • Leobracer says:

        Uh… What? Who the, what the, huh? Where on Mother Earth do people come up with this stuff?

      • Herr Wozzeck says:

        *facepalm*

        They resurrected Jeanne of Arc to fight the enemy invasion.

        Here’s my question:

        WHY THE FUCK WOULD THEY RESURRECT SOME LADY WHO HEARD THE VOICE OF GOD!?!? WHAT FUCKING SENSE DOES THAT MAKE!?!? WHY THE— WHY THE— GYUUUUH!

        *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*

        I might consider doing this. I mean… holy shit!

      • erttheking says:

        Hm, might do that XCOM one as a filler.

  42. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    “Here’s an idea for a XCOM story. The aliens are invading and XCOM tries to… ughh…. Jeanne of the Arc! Yes! They bring back Jeanne of the Arc from dead and let her lead a bunch of historical figures to fight them! OK, I’ve done what you asked, just please don’t kill my daughter!”

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      What really gets me about this premise is that it’s only a good idea to a teenage kid who doesn’t know anything about how military life would actually work. “Hey, let’s get a bunch of historical figures to fight aliens!” That’s a cool idea until you realize that having a governmental body resurrect a bunch of people who have absolutely no practical knowledge of anything related to the warfare of the modern world would mean that you’re basically constructing your army out of nothing but complete rookies. I’m no military person, but even I could tell you that this is a monumentally stupid idea.

      And that’s before we get into how they resurrected some people. Y’know, as in “wait, how the fuck did they resurrect someone who was burned at the stake?”

      • SC says:

        See, the premise works in my Simon Bellamay III story, but only because demon slaying in that universe had remained a largely unchanged process from when Simon Bellamay the Elder came up with a method several thousand years before the start of the story, despite the ever-evolving nature of demons, so ressurecting him actually lends a hand to the final showdown at the end. Plus, he gets revived by his OWN DAMN ORDER, so he’s not walking blindly into a foreign world, either!

        Jeanne of Arc was alive during a time where there was no such thing as guns or laser technology or anything like that. Good luck bringing her into a high-class XCOM base when all she knew were medieval residences, and good luck telling a swordswoman the logistics behind bullets and how they’ve outclassed swords in the modern world.

        Oh, by the way, she might have been a warrior, but she was also a SAINT. XCOM practices interrogation methods that would quickly cost them her allegiance, just FYI, and that’s amongst all the other new rules of war that would probably make her sick.

    • erttheking says:

      Frankly if I could bring people back from the dead in the XCOM-verse, I’d be more concerned about getting my Colonel back up after a Berserker smashed his skull in.

  43. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    To be honest, when I saw the description, I thought this was going to be a X-Com/XCOM crossover. Seriously, why haven’t anyone written a story based on this idea yet?

    • erttheking says:

      No idea. And if I was forced to bring back someone older, I’d take this guy over Joan of Arc and Genghis Khan any day.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simo_H%C3%A4yh%C3%A4

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        I would have gone with Steve Rogers but good choice.

      • erttheking says:

        Also slight nitpick. How does Joan know what Germany is when the German Empire wasn’t founded till the 19th century? In her days it still would’ve been part of the Holy Roman Empire. It took me thirty seconds with google to figure this out.

      • erttheking says:

        Huh. Looks like the author shared my thoughts on bringing back Simo. That makes sense…however…Genghis Kahn? A Viking? FUCKING NIKOLIA TESLA!? They have no skill in modern military tactics unlike Simo. And if you can just shoot the knowledge into their brains, why even bother bringing people back from the dead? Just grab a bunch of rookies and snap the information into their head. Also, Bradford was never the Commander of X-COM, he was always the number 2 to the player’s character. And the lone survivor of the tutorial mission wasn’t a woman, it was a man, an Argentinian heavy to be precise. And considering that soldiers in X-COM can be promoted up to the rank of Colonel, I think Ms. Silver is going to be needing a higher rank to be the leader of X-COM

  44. SC says:

    I’ll just leave this mess here.

    The chapters seem really short, so I might be able to MST it, unless there’s a bullshit-long chapter somewhere in the mix.

    If I can, I’m definitely posting my riff of it here, it’s terrible.

    Unlike KDVS, however, it’s terrible in an awesome way.

    • SC says:

      So, here’s the start of my MST of Kelly The Roman Warrior, for anybody interested in reading.

      Chapter 1, part 1
      Chapter 1 part 2
      Chapter 2

      • SC says:

        Chapter 3
        Chapter 4
        Chapter 5

    • SC says:

      (pssssst! I need my comment approved!)

  45. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9736821/1/Enemy-Returned
    This one. It started ok, and it has some pretty interesting ideas. Even though this Shepard did show some Mary Sue traits. But Chapter 10’s plot twist was just so STUPID STUPID STUPID! They knew the Asari’s going to mind meld with them, they knew that Asari mind meld is a form of psionics, and they send a woman with Neural Feedback g-mod for them to mind meld? WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF PLANNING IS THAT?

    • erttheking says:

      Ok, got to the end of the first paragraph and already something is bugging me? Why would the Ethereal’s see anything in the Quarians? The final mission made it clear they’re looking for a race that is psychically strong, AND has the gift. Quarians are a little on the scrawny side and there’s the whole immune system thing. I think the Ethereal’s would want something a bit more sturdy. And with a population a bit higher. The Krogan I can see a bit more. The Genophage would still be a major problem there though.

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        I can see the Ethereals use Krogans the same way they use Elite Mutons: Only reserve a small number of them for high priority targets and use all the rest for breeding purposes only. Plus, they can probably fix up genophage by using Meld to repair the affected DNA.

      • erttheking says:

        Yeah the problem with that though is that if they’re using them for the same way they’re using Elite Mutons, they’re kind of a failure. Their goal is to find a perfect species, a balance of physical strength and the gift, all of the species they use to attack Earth with are failures being used as canon fodder…come to think of it are Krogan even psonic? Wouldn’t they be better trying their luck with the Asari? They’re halfway there already.

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        He answered those questions a few chapters later. Spoiler: Shepard (Who is the Volunteer) saves the Temple Ship and doesn’t die.

      • erttheking says:

        OH COME ON!

  46. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Well… Bradford DID command Operation Devil’s Moon (The Tutorial). Also, you like XCOM too, Ert? Ever considered doing an XCOM fic?

    • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

      http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9944564/1/

  47. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Ladies and gentlemen. I present to you the (Spiritual) sequel nobody’s waiting for
    WTF X-COM 2: WTF Harder
    http://www.fimfiction.net/story/15786/squad-equestria

  48. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    You still there Ert? Check out This gem from the latest chapter of Enemy Returned.

    “What is this! You walk in here, slaughter dozens of Turians and expect to dictate who and what we fight? For all we know you could be a greater threat than these so-called Ethereals!”

    The entire room seemed to grind to a halt as Shepard glared up at the Turian councillor.

    “You really are a special kind of stupid, aren’t you?”
    No Shepard, he reacted reasonably.You people on the other hand, didn’t even WAIT TILL AFTER THE SITUATION COOLS DOWN. Instead, you immediately start yelling “Ethereals are here! Help us kill them or you’ll all gonna die!” Now that is a special kind of stupid.

    • erttheking says:

      …..Yeah…I have to say Sparatus has a point there. If you’re gonna tell someone what to do, you really shouldn’t be killing their people. In fact, what has John been doing to prove that they’re NOT exactly like the Ethereals.

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        *Jane. That’s FemShep. Also, in the very next chapter, we see XCOM scientists working on a top secret project based on the data they collected from Turian G-modding (Combat implants for Garrus and neural treatment for Garrus’ mom): A plague that only affects Turians.
        Damn, Goeth would be proud.

      • erttheking says:

        Oh. Yeah, I was actually starting to read this story last night and I’m starting to realize it’s one of THOSE stories. The “Humanity fixes every last problem in the ME universe” kind. Granted with MELD it kinda makes sense, but it’s still frustrating to see them cure the Quarians system, go off and do that, and now I’m waiting for them to cure Kepral Syndrome, the Genophage, and the Ardat Yakshi condition. Also, what’s the Ethereals logic with using the Quarians as weapons slash uplifting them and then killing over 75% of their race? On that note, France 80% Chrysalids?…..ah….*gasps* *gasps* NUKE IT!. But on a more serious note, I don’t think that’s how the Ethereals fight. They prefer terror warfare. Drop a few aliens here, abduct a few dozen people there, occasionally shell a city and drop some Chrysalids on it. They’re holding back because they need Humanity ALIVE at the end of the day. Yeah the invasion is more large scale than we see and there are reports of various nation’s military engaging the aliens, but the aliens goals aren’t to wipe out Humanity, but to spread so much panic in countries that the country collapses from within and the people are forced to surrender to the aliens. Not extermination!

        Also, how the fuck did XCOM move three million Quarians back to Earth when they’re just getting the hang of space travel, and how did they do it without the aliens, you know, trying to stop them!

        It’s not a horribly bad fanfic, there is some pretty good writing and some well executed ideas, but there are parts like those where its less than stellar.

  49. Silky says:

    Merry Christmas and other wintertime celebrations, Library!
    I just read an article on Cracked.com called “The 6 Craziest Pieces of Christmas Fanfiction,” and each little gem featured looks fully riffable. I think they’re all lemons, so just, you know, be prepared for that.

    http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-6-craziest-pieces-christmas-fan-fiction/

  50. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Beat Arkham Origins yesterday. Just when I was beating up Joker, the game glitched and I have to go to the Internet to look for a solution. Also the story sucked, even though there were so much hype about the 8 assassins pre-release, they aren’t even the main focus of the story! Killer Croc was a weak starter villain, Electrocutioner was literally a joke, Deathstroke and Firefly are just boring and repetitive, Shiva and Deadshot were nothing but side quests, that only leaves Bane, whose fights were actually pretty decent (compared to the “batarange, dodge, hit” Titan henchmen from the previous games at least) especially the last one, Copperhead’s fight wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either. Damn this cheap cash-in!

    On the other hand, SRW Z3 is coming.

    Endless Waltz and Gundam Unicorn and Awakening of the Trailblazer and Char’s Counterattack and Rebuild of Evangelion and Full Metal Panic?! Hell yes!

    Also, there’s this:
    https://www.fimfiction.net/story/67706/city-of-gold
    This story is just… All over the place. I actually suspect the author has some kind of ADD. He just keeps starting completely new storyline instead of trying to develop previously established ones. By the time he finally gave up and cancelled the story, there were at least 4 separate storylines going on at the same time.

  51. erttheking says:

    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/HalfLifeFullLifeConsequences

    Maybe we can change the formula up a bit and do a so bad it’s good fic.

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      Well, thanks for volunteering after Twin Humanities, Ert. =P

      • erttheking says:

        Actually, I’m actually really excited about doing that. It’ll be really short, so it shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Heck, can probably get it down in two goes.

  52. Qwizbo says:

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YlRQQNxXvxSgoTcikZyanLyR4EFzV260149d92hdbw4/edit?pli=1

    That is all.

    • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

      Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      Oho yes, I know this one! I actually PPC’d one of her Dragon Age stories once upon a time. Lemme tell you, she provides great riffing material very time she pens stuff. It’s a shame her fanfiction.net account got taken down, really.

  53. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8185851/1/United-under-two-skies
    Ert? You might be interested in this one, it’s yet another Fallout/ME fic.

    My first Whiskey Tango Foxtrot moment is when Veronica casually mentioned that the Enclave Remnants have teamed up with the Mojave Brotherhood. NO. Just, no. That was almost as bad as “Vegas isn’t magic”, where the Mojave Brotherhood joined the NCR as a special force. (And for a very stupid-ass reason, but I’ll talk about that next time.) WHY THE HELL WOULD BROTHERHOOD JOIN UP WITH THEIR MORTAL ENEMY?!
    Also, bad spelling, grammar, capitalization, Gary Stu Courier (Killing THREE Deathclaws with a sword?! Seriously?), you know, standard stuff.
    But by Chapter 5, the author drops THE BOMB. A Prothean VI reveals that the Protheans apparently exist in Fallout Universe, and that in this universe, Illos scientists used the conduit to destroy all the Reapers in dark spa- WAIT WHAT?!
    This story was published a MONTH after From the Ashes. FUCKING THIEF!

    • erttheking says:

      ….Gonna take a look at that one.

    • erttheking says:

      NUCLEAR FUCKING WARHEADS!? First paragraph, FIRST FUCKING PARAGRAPH and we’ve gotten confirmation of the main character using weapons of mass destruction. I mean, it’s one thing if it’s in space and it’s ship to ship nukes, but nuking a ground target like that? Yeah, because that’s what the Mojave needed, MORE RADIATION! Also, I hope he wasn’t planning on USING Hoover Dam after that, or the supply of clean water, because both of those are gone now.

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        Really? I thought even if you nuke both Legion and NCR in LR, you can still beat the game and Hoover Dam will be fine.

      • erttheking says:

        That’s because you don’t nuke their armies at Hoover Damn, you nuke their home territories.

    • erttheking says:

      I mean, was there something fucking wrong with his army of gatling laser/ grenade launcher totting robots!?

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        FINALLY! Man, I was starting to think Stupard 2.0 got you.
        Well, truth is, I had this conversation with the author through the FF.net PM.

        Me: You ripped off From the Ashes’ entire premise, you thief.

        Author: In regards to your accusation M Tails P (Note: That’s my FF.net username)I don’t really agree with that point; form Ashe’s plot, tone, story, and characters are different while that story creates an alternate universe I take what I can from the existing universe’s and put my own spin on the story of both games by creating the characters I played as. And to be entirely fucking honest where did you think this was gonna go; space ships are kind of inevitable when the universes meet. I created an alternator history for the protheans and the reapers created new relationships and painted characters in a new light. So read the story before you start saying I’m stealing a premise because I haven’t I have twisted the possibilities in a different way.

        Me: I was talking about the part where the Illos scientists took out all the Reapers in dark space using the conduit. That was almost a word for word copy.

        Author: It was necessary plot device; i needed a reason for Rex to abandon his universe if their were reapers he would have stayed to fight them, and come on man it’s not like there we’re any other ways to explain the lack of protheans and reapers so stow it I did not steal the idea it was what made sense to put at the time because it fit in with my narrative. It’s not the first time an idea has shifted a little bit. My protheans are different than the protheans from FA; they used a nuclear isotope of element zero and have other differences I was going to flesh out later on. Just out of curiosity do you have a problem with any other parts of my story?

        Author: Oh and what the hell else could the protheans use to get to dark space the power of love? grow up I used the resources from the vanilla source material.

        Me:You do realize you don’t have to put the Protheans into Fallout universe right? And judging by how you respond to criticism, you’re the one that need to “grow up”. Also, changing nuclear warheads into Element Zero bombs doesn’t magically make the idea yours.
        And about the rest of your fic, let me put it bluntly: It’s a fucking mess.
        Seriously? The NCR just agreed to sign a trading treaty after the Courier freaking nuked one of their bases? Even if they do, Long 15 is also their major trade route into the Mojave, and now its gone, oops.
        Crime and poverty in Freeside aren’t just going to magically disappear after you build houses and factories. Just look at it! Pretty much everyone in that town were drunks, junkies and gamblers. Why would they go work in factories if they can just shoot up drugs and steel caps from gamblers like they’ve being doing their whole life?
        The Remnants and the Mojave Brotherhood band together… Oh my fucking god. WHY WOULD THE BROTHERHOOD WORK WITH THEIR MORTAL ENEMY?! You know, I probably would have let it slide if it was the more open-minded Lyons’ brotherhood, but this is Mojave branch, so no, just no.
        Killing three Deathclaws with a fucking sword? Oh god… I don’t even want to talk about that anymore…
        And I haven’t even mentioned how underdeveloped the Tali romance was and the endless grammar, spelling and punctuation issues.
        But all the above are NOTHING, compared to what happened in Chapter 6, one word: Kids.
        You’re letting kids. Aboard combat vessels. And operate the main guns.
        Do I really need to tell you why is that fucked up and how fucked up is it?

      • Herr Wozzeck says:

        Oh dear, SPF. It looks like you’ve got an author with a terrible, terrible attitude there. Again.

        Seriously, you just have an innate gift of finding self-righteous asshats like this.

  54. erttheking says:

    http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/TheConversionBureau

    Anyone want to do an MLP fic collection written by complete misanthropes?

    • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

      I FUCKING HATED THAT SERIES, almost as much as I hate Fallout: Equestria.
      On the other hand, apparently I’m not alone:
      http://www.fimfiction.net/story/48168/tcb-a-russian-ursa-major-problem

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      Well, Ert, you know a series is bad when even the author that started the freaking genre says its’ a bad fic. It’s almost like the Parallel Realities of My Little Pony, except without the plot regurgitation angle.

      • erttheking says:

        Yeah, but there’s spin off fic by Chatoyance that some people say is written better, accept it’s even MORE misanthropic. She likes to explore LGBT themes (Which is perfectly fine) but she also takes pot shots and religion, claims that men are 98% responsable for violence in the world (I really hate pulling out the “the woman is being unfair to men” card, but sometimes it does happen and that is just plain untrue, and apparently she might have depicted all women as saintly and all men as barbarians in one story) she has Luna DESTROY any work of art that simply DEPICTS violence, racism or sexism, even if it’s showing it as a BAD thing. Also she apparently can’t take criticism. And apparently she considers her work better than canon. So we may want to take a look at this.

      • Herr Wozzeck says:

        Hmmm…

        Yeah, that’s definitely good for snarking, methinks. I mean, if it’s that horrible…

        I mean, sheesh, Luna destroyed just about the entire body of opera! I can’t let that go unanswered!

  55. laubesoyeuse says:

    Ooh! With my political science degree, I think I’d be great at analyzing the repercussions of a fic like this. Let me take a look at it when I get the time. Maybe someone else would like to collaborate with me on it?
    Also, I think it’s about time the Library got another My Little Pony fic.

  56. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Update: New replies from the author.
    You have a problem with kids using guns the fallout universe has dozens of examples of children using weapons in defense of their lives and homes, but otherwise thank you for the criticism I’ve been planning an overhaul for awhile now after rereading the story several times. In retrospect I overreacted I am sorry if I came across like a jerk.one other thing children are not on the vessels all the time they are staying on planet phoenix while the adults go to war.

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      Um, author, I hate to break it to you, but that doesn’t fucking solve anything, jackass! Whatever kids used weapons in defense of their lives and homes were doing it because they had no other choice. In that situation, fine. That’s okay. I can respect that. But when I can’t respect it is when you conscript children to live as child soldiers. There is a huge difference.

      And wait, is that bit with the kids on planet phoenix established in the story? ‘Cause if not, then that’s a failure of the story itself and not of the reader!

      *headdesk*

      He better overhaul that.

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        You know what’s even weirder? I looked it up on ME Wikia and it turns out that Phoenix is in fact, a system and not a planet. And apparently, the author didn’t know that (“Have they landed on the surface of Phoenix yet”)

      • erttheking says:

        Oh dear, this is gonna be a messy one.

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        So is any of you actually interested in doing this one?

      • Herr Wozzeck says:

        Well, Ert seems interested. I’m interested as well, but since I don’t know Fallout at all I’m the wrong person to snark it.

      • erttheking says:

        Oh yeah, I’ll think about it. Maybe after Twin Humanities and Half Life Full Life Consequences.

  57. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Related to TCB and Chatoyance:http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/58288/the-horror-of-the-conversion-bureau-an-open-letter-to-chatoyance

  58. erttheking says:

    Shit, some things came up, won’t have an update till later today.

  59. Might I also suggest “Twila the Gurl Waz In Luv Vampyre”

  60. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Hey Ert, remember last time I mentioned a story named “Vegas isn’t magic”?
    https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9244622/1/My-Little-Fallout-Vegas-Isn-t-Magic
    Well, I recommend you read it yourself.

  61. erttheking says:

    Oh…oh this is rich. I wrote a review of a shitty Fallout/Mass Effect crossover called Radiation poisoning. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10060622/1/Radiation-Poisoning The author replied to my review today. His response was the same for all of my points. “urmom”. I think I know what I’m doing after Twin Humanities.

    • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

      Oh dear… Really? He really did that? Wow, this guy’s a special kind of douchebag.
      So how many more installments of Twin Humanity are there left?

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      *headdesk*

      Seriously? Dear Jesus Christ, at least max7238 had the decency to agree with one of my points when that whole thing happened! Jesus Christ!

      *headdesk*

    • erttheking says:

      And some other comments from him.

      Or that I decided to respond in the middle of a troll spell, oh and to your comment about
      humanity using WMDs, The turbans will asteroid bomb Humanity if I want them too, wanna know why? Cuz it’s my story :/

      Oh, and you know both of my statements are true, as they have to because I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL DOGE!

      Guy is a bit of a cunt (I like using that word too much, kinda been desensitized to it because of exposure to a lot of British people and they don’t consider it to be as foul as a word as we do). But now I’m kinda torn. Is this guy a smug asshole who can’t take criticism, or is he trolling with his entire fic? If it’s trolling, I’d rather not give him the attention. Gonna have to think about this. What are your thoughts guys?

      (As for Twin Humanities, we’re around halfway through)

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        Guy’s probably a troll (Seriously, Doge? Turban?), maybe you can do United Under Two Skies or Vegas Isn’t Magic instead.

      • erttheking says:

        Yeah, I think it’s for the best if I just ignore him. I’ll take a look at those two and see if there’s enough material. Though I think an author is bash worthy if be fucks up one of the few good male gay characters in video games.

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        Also, I found this on Fimfiction:
        http://www.fimfiction.net/story/147702/a-tale-of-two-couriers

  62. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    http://www.fimfiction.net/story/77169/thanatos-creed
    Ert? Have a look.
    Yes, I know, yet ANOTHER MLP/Fallout X-over. This one’s main character is an evil Lone Wanderer and it mainly focuses on the Dunwich Building sidequest (Personally never liked it, I mean seriously? Lovecraftian magic in Fallout? This kind of stuff belong to mods.) The most issue I have is with the Lone Wanderer, not because he’s evil, but because he’s stupid.
    You see, this LW went to Moriarty to look for info about his father, Moriarty sends him on a sidequest to kill a escaped prostitute like in the game. After that, he wangst about how his innocence was taken from him and proceed to blow up Megaton with the help of Burke. (Here’s an idea, how about you just KILL MORIARTY AND LEAVE THE REST OF THE DAMNED TOWN ALONE?)
    Ugh… TIred now, will post more later.

  63. erttheking says:

    Bit of a limited reference pool with this one, but anyone who is interested in either Metal Gear Solid or Neon Genesis Evangelion will find a lot to hate about this one.

    https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5926116/1/Evangelion-Gear

    Basically it turns Big Boss and Shinji into flamming sues, bashes Asuka like Hell, the good guys are always ten steps ahead of the bad guys, and it is overall just a general mess.

    • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

      Well… Most of my knowledge of NGE came from “天鹰战士” (A Chinese dub that censored a whole bunch of stuff and became a laughing stock of Chinese NGE fans.) And I’ve only heard about the movies’ plot. (Both the new ones and EoE) Plus I’ve never played MGS…
      Still, I’ll have a look.

    • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

      You know what’s the weirdest thing about the Chinese dub? They censored all the erotic stuff (Shinji running into Rei changing, Misato and Kaji kissing in the elevator, Shinji and Asuka kissing, etc.) But none of the gory battle things were censored.
      Two of the most nightmarish things from my childhood? The Joker (From the Batman TAS dub, which was actually pretty good.) and Unit 1 eating Zeruel.

      • erttheking says:

        Yeah, I can certainly see how that would give a kid nightmares. I was lucky enough to avoid being exposed to Evangelion till high school. And my friend thought that that scene would be a good way to introduce me to the series.

        Funny you mention that because America also has skewered priority of ‘You can show a man being murdered and get a T, but if you show people having sex you need an M” thing. It never made sense when I stopped to think about it, wouldn’t violence be a lot more traumatizing to people that are too young than sex? Granted, sex is probably something you shouldn’t show a five year old, but I think teenagers could handle it.

  64. Bernard Karp says:

    So is this where you plop suggestions for stories to review?
    If so a friend asked that I offer the story ‘Skyrim Alliance Tai’ by the author ‘BD99’ to be sacrificed to the Fan-Fiction gods.

    • Bernard Karp says:

      Forgot to post link.
      https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8398928/1/The-Skyrim-Alliance-Tai

      • Bernard Karp says:

        I remember posting these comments like it was yesterday.

  65. Andrew says:

    Excuse me, but I might have something. This isn’t on FanFiction.net, per se, but I feel that it should reviewed thoroughly and with impunity as soon as possible: http://stitchpunk89.deviantart.com/gallery/38589194/The-Secret-of-NIMH-New-Leaf. You may have to get somebody who has a DeviantArt to analyze some of the “mature content” chapters. I personally think that this story needs some serious revision of its characters, tone, and storyline. Is there anybody here who agrees?

  66. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    So can someone add Gearman on this list? Looks like he was the first who rewrote an entire story because of a library riff.

  67. agigabyte says:

    Just read Wabloo Swabloo. What af 3hin cow murc sventen\mom.

  68. neji7hyuga says:

    I decided to look here, and there’s two things, to be blunt, that irritated and annoyed me. Plus also angered me, but I won’t flame and bash, that would just be not nice. Here’s what I am talking about, in quotation marks to separate them from the rest since I’m not sure how to do that special formatting. And for questions, worry not, they’ll be answered-

    “December 28, 2013
    Late in the year, another writer discovers the Library! This time, it’s Jedi Qui-Gon of Asari Healing fame, who used underhanded tactics to get back at Herr Wozzeck. All sorts of shenanigans went down after that which would take a while to resolve.”

    First this, while my masking of my status as Jedi Qui Gon may be questionable, I did have very good reasons. One was I changed my account name and picture in Fanfiction.net for one very good reason- due to the fact I had such a bad case of people throwing, sometimes nasty, insults directed at me. I nearly quit writing, and would have given up. I was that close. Some of the things people said to me on Fanfiction.net were- “Stop writing, drink puke, and die” and “If my child wrote this, I would spank him until he was bleeding from the welts”. There was worse but I am not exactly sure what they said.

    At least I got rid of the trolls, or I would have given up writing because it would be too hurtful to continue.

    “August 5, 2014
    Our good friend Jedi Qui-Gon makes another splash on this page: this time, he told the author of Secret of NIMH: New Leaf about the snarking. At first freaked out by it, the author does eventually calm down enough to recognize that, contrary to what Jedi Qui-Gon told her, the Library did not in fact steal her story, though she understandably wasn’t entirely happy…”

    While it’s very debatable whether a snarking could be considered stealing or not, I could create a thread in a forum somewhere and I can imagine it combusting and burning for days and descending into fighting. Though there are fanfics on here that are impossible to defend, like stories that trivialize serious things. I have to say I was angry and also the fight with Herr Wozzeck and PPC was going on at that time.

    So in all, maybe an update is in order, since I don’t use Jedi Qui Gon anymore. Though I am open to any civil conversation if one wishes to do so.

    • "Lyle" says:

      We’ll work on updating your entry since we’re all getting along now. It may take a few days, though.

      • neji7hyuga says:

        Thanks. That is understandable.

    • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

      While it’s very debatable whether a snarking could be considered stealing or not

      Em…. No it isn’t. Snarking isn’t stealing because Fair Use.

      • neji7hyuga says:

        Oh, I see.

      • TacoMagic says:

        Cliffnotes of the below: It actually is stealing, just not from the Fic author.

    • TacoMagic says:

      YAR! Much reading ahead, Mateys. Steer yer course ’round should ye be daunted by such waters, says I!

      Your request for an update aside (which I think is reasonable and we’ve passed it onto Herr for his thoughts), I wanted to comment on one particular quote from you:

      While it’s very debatable whether a snarking could be considered stealing or not

      Funny thing about that one, I’ll be the first to acknowledge that snarking the way we do it, by the writ of law, is entirely stealing.

      I’ll even come out and say it: We steal fanfiction. We are posting the bulk of other works in their near entirety without express permission to do so. Us linking the source material and using block-quotes doesn’t really change that. Now, in our earlier posts where we paraphrased large portions of the fics and just cherry-picked the worst parts, those posts weren’t stealing and fully adhere to the use of select quotations with proper citing. Pretty much any of the first 100 or so posts are of the “not stealing” portion of stuff we’ve done. But, as we’ve progressed, we moved toward just posting most everything and tearing it apart at the atomic level. Not sure why that happened, but it did, and that took away our ability to say that we aren’t stealing.

      However, in this case we’re stealing material that, again by the writ of law, is itself already stolen material due to the use of characters, locations, scenes, etc in copyright infringing ways (Fair use does not cover or protect fanfiction and never has, it covers works inspired by the original but with unique characters, locations, etc OR works directly mocking the original, neither of which apply to the larger part of fanfiction). So, it’s analogous to stealing a painting that was stolen from somebody else. Sure we’re stealing, just not from the burglar.

      The questions of morality aside, our legal guilt of stealing is of the same magnitude as the original author of a fanfiction, and is of infringement of original canon source due to the reposting of an unauthorized work.

      That said, it gets a bit dodgey when reposting works based on works that have entered the public domain. The law gets a little hazy there, but is probably on the fic-author’s side with that specific case. I’m not sure there’s actually a legal precedence in court that can be used as an example ruling.

      Now, all the above is with respect to copyright laws (specifically those of the US, Canada, and UK where a good 99% of our material comes from). The actual morality of fanfiction, and the snarking thereof, is a different and much more philosophical discussion. From that standpoint, once again I find what we do to be no more morally wrong than the writer of fanfiction. Just as the fan-fiction writer references their original source, we cite ours with a direct link to the freely available material and make it clear (barring typos) when we’re using the source material and not our own. In both cases the original author is not contacted to obtain express permission to utilize their intellectual property, but also in both cases no money is being made by these infringing works, nor are they preventing the original source from making money, so no tractable monetary harm is being done. And that is really the whole purpose of copyright law in the first place: to prevent monetary harm due to the theft of intellectual property. So, while technically illegal, both fanfiction and the snarking thereof actually do conform to the spirit of copyright law.

      • SuperFeatherYoshi says:

        Damn…
        That’s some impressive research.

      • TacoMagic says:

        This is a conversation I’ve had many, many, many, MANY times. I’ve read the copyright law several times as well as the fair use clause more than several times not to mention quite a bit of the accompanying key case histories.

        I am abundantly prepared to disillusion fanfic authors as to the actual legality of fanfiction the way it is written by the 99.9% majority (that is, those who write without permission of the owner of the intellectual property they are utilizing).

        As stated, I’ve never seen it as morally wrong to write and post fanfiction since no monetary gain via the theft is actually occurring (nor attempted), but it’s certainly illegal in the eyes of the law.

        It’s also the reason why you won’t see any Terry Goodkind, Ann Rice, Raymond Feist, or Robin Hobb fanfiction on FF.net. They (and a few others) specifically wrote FF.net and plainly stated that they will never give consent to fan works. Since they stated that, FF.net cannot legally have any works based on those author’s works posted on their site. Well, you might be able to find a few hidden in other sections that haven’t been found and pruned, but per their guidelines, those authors are off limits due to the expression of a blanket rejection of consent.

        This is also in accordance with item 6B of the FF.Net terms of service which plainly states that any poster must have obtained express permission from the source author or be in violation of the TOS.

      • neji7hyuga says:

        What a long post but that is ok, I’ve done the same thing too. :)

        And that’s interesting. I learned something new!

        I know people usually put disclaimers in their fanfics in Fanfiction.net, even though the site already has it’s legal disclaimers and stuff. What’s your opinion on disclaimers in fanfics?

      • TacoMagic says:

        My opinion on disclaimers:

        Disclaimers are pointless and shouldn’t be included. In my book they’re as bad as author’s notes, really. They don’t change the fact that the fic author hasn’t acquired appropriate permission to utilize the canon material, and fanfiction is pretty much understood to be utilizing material that the author doesn’t own. So disclaimers serve absolutely no purpose. To go back to the stolen painting analogy, a disclaimer is like creating a little plaque to go under the stolen painting that says: “This painting belongs to [owner]. I don’t own it, I’m just hanging it here.” That little plaque doesn’t really change the fact that the painting is stolen.

        Now, if you ARE going to disclaim, it should include some kind of real citation and it should be made once either at the start of the fic or at the end, not at the front of every chapter. Much like how author’s notes should be.

        That said, gratuitous disclaimers are just a nitpick on my part. I’ve seen good fanfiction use disclaimers. The fics would certainly be better without the disclaimers, but they aren’t enough to sink a fic on their own.

    • Herr Wozzeck says:

      Okay, so the descriptions are now edited. Or they should be, anyway.

      • neji7hyuga says:

        I read them, they have changed.

        Thanks. :)

    • TacoMagic says:

      On the special formatting:

      To quote stuff out put these around the things you want to format:

      <blockquote> </blockquote>

      So basically it’ll look like this:

      <blockquote>The thing you want to quote</blockquote>

      And it’ll become this:

      The thing you want to quote

      • neji7hyuga says:

        Thanks for the info.

  69. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    https://literarytravesty.wordpress.com/2012/06/21/275-asari-healing-chapter-three/#comments
    Gotta love how good ol’ Jedi Qui-Gon came back to defend his god awful story again, completely throwing what HE HIMSELF SAID out of the window and proving beyond doubt that everything he said about realizing his mistakes was complete bullshit. Because apparently, he was only PRETENDING to sink to our levels!

    • GhostCat says:

      He apparently thinks we’re all terrible people and is really determined to let us know how little he thinks of us.

      • "Lyle" says:

        The feeling is mutual.

  70. perfectionistbullet says:

    I am glad to see that some authors have taken criticism well. I feel like it is much more enjoyable to laugh with an author as opposed to at them. I like to think that we’re poking fun at poor writing as opposed to bullying the author. You can’t achieve good writing without practice.

    • GhostCat says:

      Except for certain rare instances where an author has written something morally or ethically objectionable (such as when dealing with topics like rape, abuse, or other hot-button issues) we limit our criticisms to the work itself. We do address comments to the author, but they aren’t meant to be taken as personal attacks.

      • perfectionistbullet says:

        Well, yeah. I kinda thought the morally/ethically objectionable part went without saying, at that point it stops being something wrong with the work and something that’s wrong with the author


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