Hello, and welcome back to “A Branch of Burden,” by Ravager Animas! I’m your host, SC, and last time, we had a relatively uneventful post focused on Little Miss Runemaster. Well, and we learned that the Asshole Guild Sniper is actually not part of that guild in the first place, but that wasn’t all that eventful either.
In fact… no offense to Ravager Animas, but I’m just gonna take my own advice from last week and nix the rest of this chapter, in favor of a blanket overview of what happens. Because unfortunately, even though the action picks up a bit in part two, here, it’s still just a whole lot of nothing really going on. This entire chapter is literally just introducing us to a new protagonist, and there are parts where even the narration seems to just be droning on in boredom. I read through this part of the chapter and realized that if I tried to actually riff anything, all I’d be able to say is, “wow, look how boring this all is.”
Hello, and welcome back to “A Branch of Burden,” by Ravager Amimas! I’m your host, SC, and last time, Falahein sprung a Cunning Trap™ on the Asshole Guild, successfully incapacitating their members… save for that fucking Sniper who got away in spite of being atomic punched the fuck out by Little Miss Landsknecht. In spite of this, the mission was considered complete, and everybody went back to the inn to take a well-earned rest day (except for Vaseline, who went to get hammered).
This week, we’ve reached the last chapter of the fic: “Sisters”. This might end up being two parts, or it might not, but that remains to be seen. Important to note, however, is that this chapter is from Little Miss Runemaster’s point of view, so sayeth Ravager Animas. So that should be interesting.
Hello, and welcome back to “A Branch of Burden,” by Ravager Animas! I’m your host, SC, and last time, we discussed at length the various reasons for the various issues I noted throughout the riff. We also discussed at length how the samurai classes of Etrian Odyssey went from being boring glass cannons to glass cannons that wear all the adornments, but that’s largely irrelevant to the riff at large. There was also a big ol’ fight scene which culminated in Little Miss Landsknecht ripping a frog limb from limb, which was metal as hell.
This week, we’re gonna be finishing up chapter six so that I can move on to the last chapter and put this riff to bed, so let’s not waste anymore time!
Hello, and welcome back to “A Branch of Burden,” by Ravager Animas! I’m your host, SC, and last time, basically a whole lot of nothing happened, then the team made it back to Tharsis and decided to launch an investigation into the Shithead Guild who’ve been robbing people all over the place. I also finally decided to bring up that Ravager Animas has been less than subtle about their EO3 preferences, given that there’ve been references to either the game, itself, or Ravager Animas’ guild, in every chapter so far. After that, I went on a long rant about how Little Miss Runemaster is basically dead weight, and then we finished the riff off with me asking a lot of questions that I hope will get answered this week.
Hello, and welcome back to “A Branch of Burden,” by Ravager Animas! I’m your host, SC, and last time, Falahein went down into the Lush Woodlands, I yammered on and on and on about maps like some senile old sailor who doesn’t know how to shut up (I also tried to convince the Secret Clubhouse that we needed to make a map of the Library so that people could finally know how to get around the joint, but all those maps either exploded or devoured themselves, so that’s apparently a no-go), and then the team tried to steal treasure from a sleeping Cutter without dying. They succeeded, and were then promptly robbed by a guild of assholes who I’m not entirely convinced aren’t some of our interns misbehaving again, and as one final fuck-you to the newbies, the asshole guild purposely wake up the Cutter to tear them apart.
And that’s where we come back into the action, here in chapter five, “Our Own Sense of Justice.”
Hello, and welcome back to “A Branch of Burden,” by Ravager Animas! I’m your host, SC, and last time, Vaseline kept pissing off Little Miss Landsknecht, which wasn’t very hard to do because Little Miss Landsknecht has all the maturity of a thirteen year old (barring the various thirteen year olds who went on to become riffers here at the Library, I mean), and then Little Miss Landsknecht dropped a massive fuck-you on Vaseline that caused her to get all grumpy. Then Little Miss Landsknecht went to the Berund Atelier and accidentally went full-homo with Wynne, who is at least half her age, thus making the gesture illegal in pretty much all fifty states. Failing to recover from that faux pas, Little Miss Landsknecht went back to the skyship and caught her guild in the midst of illicit confectionery gambling and
promptly called the guards to arrest the criminals did nothing, and then the guild set back out to the Lush Woodlands, with Vaseline offering precisely zero words of warning about the devilishly handsome, cock-sure bastard with an awesome moustache waiting for them at the bottom.
And then I had to cut the chapter short because I procrastinated again. Whoops.
Hello, and welcome back to “A Branch of Burden,” by Ravager Animas! I’m your host, SC, joined by Teh Specs and Contacts, and last time, we were introduced to Little Miss
Fortress Brave Sir Vaseline, Harbinger of Nope, of the Ex-Ex-Ex-Exporadats, Field Commander of Falahein (Who is Also a Fangirl), a mopey veteran explorer whose entire guild bought it against the Berserker King in the Lush Woodlands except for her, and as a way of repairing her damaged pride, she made it a point to jump to the defense of rookie explorers in the Old Forest Mine who had the misfortune of meeting a Nomad Baboon – by telling them to run the fuck away, before promptly following suit. Well, turns out the rookies she saved were Little Miss(-es?) Runemaster, Landsknecht, and Medic Fraud, and soon after she discovered that they were part of a famous guild… well, a guild named in honor of a famous guild, anyhow… she wound up joining forces, and immediately set to work groaning over how dumb they all were.
Meanwhile, in the Library, Iris was horribly, horribly abused for the entirety of the riff, and after the chapter ended, she swore to never do another riff. Again. She says that every single time she’s here.