2528: Crimson Whirlwind – Chapter Two (Damn it)

Title: Crimson Whirlwind
Author: ChaosDancer12
Media: Video Game
Topic: Final Fantasy 13
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Chapter Two
Critiqued by SC and Teh Specs and also Scarlet of Mesyth, apparently

~TRIGGER WARNING: ACCIDENTAL RACISM. AT LEAST, I HOPE IT’S ACCIDENTAL.~

Hello, and welcome back to Crimson Whirlwind, by ChaosDancer12! I’m your host, SC, joined by Teh Specs, and last time, we were introduced to Kai Clarion Kaio-what? Ow McEdgeName Burger Horn and Serah Farron, and much of the riff was spent breaking down how FF13 is a bad game and should feel bad (and yet I still took the time to buy its two sequels, “for science,” naturally), followed by us actually riffing the fic for similar reasons when we could find the time.

Funny story, this fic and Athame’s Light both updated on me. This fic updated sooner than Athame’s Light did, however, by about half a month. Doesn’t really matter, though, since I had to slog so hard through chapter two of Athame’s Light. And since chapter three appears to be more of the same (it’s the post-Eden Prime ship banter, from the looks of things – because you know, I really needed to deal with that right on top of the pre-Eden Prime ship banter, right?), I figure I’ll just get this out of the way now since it’s the shorter update of the two.

Specs: Wow, that almost sounded proactive of you.

I know, it makes me feel dirty.

[It’s okay, as of this note from Present!Me, this riff took until halfway through fucking January to finally finish, and I still haven’t started on the next chapter of Athame’s Light yet, which has now grown to something like sixteen chapters in my absence, Jesus Christ. No worries, folks, I’m still a pile of lazy trash. -Present!SC]

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2509: 22: Heart Wearming Eve(Lilo Edition) – Oneshot

Title: 22: Heart Wearming Eve(Lilo Edition)
Author: mary.okeeffe.16
Media: Cartoon/TV Series
Topic: My Little Pony/Are You Afraid of the Dark/Mickey Mouse/Lilo & Stitch
Genre: Friendship/Romance
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Elysium16 and Rimura

(Snow lightly swirls outside the Library windows, covering the ground in a soft blanket. Christmas lights shine through the mist, outlining the enormous building. And, within a small room in the Library—)

Rimura: AAAAAARGH!

(The door bangs open, and Rimura storms in, covered in snow. Elysium follows, a smug smile on her face.)

Elysium: I won! Again!

Rimura: *yanks boot off and throws it across the room* I hate snowball fights!

Elysium: Aww, don’t feel too bad! You were going against like half the Library.

Rimura: And I had the other half on my side! How in Telina’s name did I lose?

Elysium: Maybe you just need to git gud, scrub.

…oh! We’re live!

Welcome back, patrons, to what is very obviously not Kirby: Welcome to Smash Bros!

Yes, I know, I promised that fic, buuuuuuut it’s the holidays, so I just decided “what the heck” and pulled up this! It’s…a thing.

Rimura: Well, that can only be an ill omen.

Elysium: Without further ado…uh, 22: Heart Wearming Eve(Lilo Edition).

Rimura: As can that.

Elysium: By mary.okeeffe.16. No relation to me.

Roll tape! *snaps fingers*

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2506: Olympus: The Immortal Child – Part Four

Title: Olympus: The Immortal Child
Author: crazyCULTure
Media: Books
Topic: Percy Jackson and the Olympians
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Olympus: The Immortal Child
Critiqued by Angie

Hey, friends. Glad you decided to join me for the undoubtedly thrilling conclusion of The Immortal Child. The author has quite a bit to write in this final chapter, such as the second and third act entirely. They plan to do this in fourteen hundred words I guess, so let’s not waste any more time and get to reading.

The next day, nothing especially major happened. All right, that’s a lie. I was all new to everything, so everything that did happen was major.

I guess we’re ending this where we started, with aggressively meaningless, redundant statements.

The night before, after orientation and all that stuff I hate so much I won’t even write about, I was taken to dinner. They’ve got the best stuff. They had grilled chicken, pork and beans, Mac ‘n cheese, and salad. Well, what can I say? They have to throw in something healthy in there.

I guess it’s not, like, the most healthy thing in the world, but grilled chicken? That’s not terrible for you. Is it because it’s not vegan? I mean, I guess that could be the case because I assume her father raised her vegan, but she was craving some McDonald’s in the first chapter so I don’t think grilled chicken should matter to her that much. Even if it does, it’s still healthy. So I don’t know what her point is.

The drink was just as amazing. Two kids with curly black hair passed them out to everyone sitting down at the tables. The cool thing about the cup (or the drink) was that it could be whatever drink I told it to be. I spent about five minutes saying “hot chocolate”, “lemonade”, “strawberry juice”, and “soda”.

…mango milkshake?

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2505: Olympus: The Immortal Child – Part Three

Title: Olympus: The Immortal Child
Author: crazyCULTure
Media: Books
Topic: Percy Jackson and the Olympians
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Olympus: The Immortal Child
Critiqued by Hiraani and Queen Malieasha of Jacelajoglia

Queenie: My, but it’s nice to be referred to by my actual title again. It feels like it’s been years.

It has been just over two years. I’m real sorry about that, Malie.

Queenie: I’m sorry Angie already decided to bounce and leave this chapter to us.

Pretty sure she just wanted to reestablish God’s favorite power couple.

Queenie: That’s probably it. Anyway, in the last riff, luck killed a policeman demon (irony?), Wendy ate strawberries like an absolute edgelord, and our main character met a boy that she described with an analogy to black pepper.

Wendy’s mindset is super food oriented, apparently.

Queenie: With recaps out of the way, let’s continue.

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2504: Don’t Loose Your Way – Halo NG — One Shot

Title: Don’t Loose Your Way – Halo NG
Author: Queen_of_Derp
Media: Video Game
Topic: Halo
Genre: Humor/Friendship/Adventure/Hurt-Comfort… I think?
URL: Entire Story
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons! Continuing with our Halo theme for these one-shots, here’s something called Don’t Loose Your Way – Halo NG [sic] from ArchiveOfOurOwn!

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2497: Olympus: The Immortal Child – Part Two

Title: Olympus: The Immortal Child
Author: crazyCULTure
Media: Books
Topic: Percy Jackson and the Olympians
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Olympus: The Immortal Child
Critiqued by Angie and Queenie

Queenie.

Queenie: No.

Queenie.

Queenie: Fuck off.

What if I don’t?

Queenie: I’ll send a strongly worded letter to Taco.

But don’t you want to watch me suffer?

Queenie: Always. But in having me riff it with you you’re making me suffer too.

What if I…take you to Denny’s afterwards?

Queenie: *groans* Alright, fine. What’s happened so far?

Jack shit. The author basically kept saying the same things over and over for several hundred words.

Queenie: I think I’m caught up.

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2489: Olympus: The Immortal Child – Chapter One

Title: Olympus: The Immortal Child
Author: crazyCULTure
Media: Books
Topic: Percy Jackson and the Olympians
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Angie

Wow.

Jee-zus.

Uhh…hey everyone, it’s been a hot minute, huh?

If nothing else, it’s been long enough for me to finally watch the Star Wars franchise, the entire MCU, the X-Men franchise, and the Jurassic Park series. I even played Mass Effect for the first time (as far as you know). Imagine all the new fanfiction topics I can riff on now.

*cough*

Anyway, here’s a Percy Jackson fanfiction I found on the orphans sheet.

Don’t look at me like that, I’m lazy. Shut up.

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