2386: Crimson Whirlwind – Oneshot

SC’s Note: Any instance of gender pronouns being capitalized is not random, nor is it a grammatical error on my end. It’s actually fairly common, when discussing gods, to capitalize their respective pronouns as a show of reverence.

Also, friendly reminder, and text you see highlighted like this, mouse over to see the hidden text. Does not work on mobile.

Title: Crimson Whirlwind
Author: ChaosDancer12
Media: Video Game
Topic: Final Fantasy 13
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Fic
Critiqued by SC and Teh Specs

Hello, and welcome back to the Library of the Damned! I’m your host, SC, still trying to get myself back to my old riffing self again, and as such, we have a new oneshot we’ll be tackling this week!

Well… I say oneshot, but it’s technically two chapters. Except that the first chapter is literally a paragraph long and serves only as a means of setting the scene for the rest of the fic, if the author ever cares to continue on with it (it was posted on the seventh and updated a day later, so there’s a high likelihood that it’ll update again after this riff), so it’s really not a “chapter” at all.

Also, I brought this idiot with me.

Specs: Hi!

Yeah, I’m back to babysitting these dipshits again, and given that somebody thought it was cool to let them use military hardware (not naming names or anything, Minh’s cousin), I’ve now come to the conclusion that the next time I need to dump them off on somebody else, they’re going to Scarlet.

Scarlet, out in the hall: Don’t you place that evil upon me, sir!

At least you’ll make sure they behave!

Scarlet, out in the hall: Yes! By killing them! Repeatedly! I am a bad parenting figure, why don’t you understand this?!

Specs: Also, it’s kind of really rude of you to leave me to be “babysat” by the man who beheaded me at the height of my prime, not gonna lie.

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2367: Diary of an Outsider – Chapter 3

Author: IMakeBadPuns
Media: Video Game
Topic:  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Chapter 3
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to what is thus far the last chapter of LegolaSue’s epic tale about a life that is so boring she doesn’t want to talk about even though she can’t really shut up about it. So it goes.

The chapter starts off with an Author’s Note. Because of course it does.

A/N – You lucky, lucky people. Not only do you get updated versions of Chapter 1 and 2, but you also get a third chapter.

Which, for some reason, was not edited to make it “easier to read” so it’s just one long Wall-o-Text. Yay.

And potentially a fourth, all in one day.

Spoiler alert – there’s no fourth chapter. At all. It’s been five years.

No promises though, it just depends how much longer I can stay awake (thanks college, you suck).

If you think college is bad, have I got some depressing news regarding what happens when you join the workforce.

Anyway, I hope you guys and gals enjoy this. If you do, there’s a handy Follow/Favourite button you can use. There’s also a Review button, if you feel like telling me how I’m doing (it’ll really help). See you guys next time.

Except there’s not a next time, because the fic just kind of fizzles out. And this is the only fic the author has ever posted on ff.net.

Tirdas the 26th of Last Seed

So, we meet again. I’m not ignoring you. I’ve just been busy.

With stuff and/or things?

With stuff. And things. Important things.

Oooh, both stuff and things! And the things are important! But probably boring so she’s not going to talk about them.

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2365: Diary of an Outsider – Chapter 2

 

Author: IMakeBadPuns
Media: Video Game
Topic:  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another chapter/ diary entry from our tweenaged LegolaSue whose name I’ve completely forgotten. The last chapter ended with her getting ready to head up to Bleak Falls Barrow with her “brother-elf” Faendal. I’m sure that’s going to go very well.

This chapter starts off with an Author’s Note.

A/N – Hey guys, IMBP here. This is the first story I’ve ever written. Everyone has to start somewhere right? But regardless of how many I may write, everyone needs reviews in order to improve. So far out of my 8 views, only 1 person has reviewed it (thank you distant-echoes), which is alright I suppose but more is always better. I would prefer if it was all constructive criticism, but I’m not gonna cry over something like “Your story sucks”. Anyhoo, I’m probably boring you by now so here’s Chapter 2. If you like it, please Follow/Favourite.

Well, aren’t you in for a treat.

Sundas the 24th of Last Seed

Hey You. That’s what I’ve decided to call you. Imagination isn’t my strong point.

I would have never guessed.

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2361: Diary of an Outsider – Chapter 1

 

Author: IMakeBadPuns
Media: Video Game
Topic:  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another short little fic I found while wandering Skyrim’s section of ff.net. It’s not a crossover with anything, but it does have “diary” in the title which usually indicates a transcription of a character’s gameplay. Let’s check out the summary!

This is a set of diary entries following one of my Skyrim characters, a female Bosmer named Eira Bowmaster. I honestly have no idea where I’m going with this, but I feel like Eira might form strong friendships (maybe more) with Lydia, Aela and a couple more characters. We’ll just have to see where this goes. Rated T, might change back to M if it gets too violent.

I’m inferring a couple of things from this; this is the author transcribing their gameplay, probably as they go and without planning out any sort of coherent narrative, but they might want to add in some yuri bits and/or fanservice featuring a few of the female characters from the game or just want to make it seem that way as a kind of clickbait.

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2358: Son of a Smith – Chapter 2

Title: Son of a Smith
Author: DemonKnight312
Media: Comic Book? Cartoon? ff.net lumps the animated Justice League into the same section as the comics, so it’s impossible to tell.
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Supernatural / Friendship
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by BatJamags

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and we’re back with another Justice League fic that I think was a Batman fic in disguise. Seriously, what is with that?

Anyway, last time our self-insert got reborn as the demigod child of Hephaestus and some random Amazon who was named after food. He went to school in Gotham and made friends with baby Pamela Isley and eight-year-old Bruce Wayne. He also swore a lot, which is mostly my job. We resume the fic in the process of building an obnoxious Gotham Babies spinoff series.

Actually, I’m pretty sure we already got one of those, but I guess it didn’t have a totes badass to the max self-insert in it.

Four years since I met Bruce but damn it all the little bastard endeared himself to me, I often do wonder if this is what it’s like to have a little brother.

Bruce Wayne: Well known for endearing himself to people.

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2351: Son of a Smith – Chapter 1

Title: Son of a Smith
Author: DemonKnight312
Media: Comic Book? Cartoon? ff.net lumps the animated Justice League into the same section as the comics, so it’s impossible to tell.
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Supernatural / Friendship
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by BatJamags

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I lied to you. I said I’d find a bad Justice League oneshot, but this thing has two chapters, so yeah. There’s that. I’ll be doing this for two weeks and then we’ll get back to The Red Queen. And I’m like 40% certain we’ll get back to The Shadow Warriors sometime this year maybe. Anyway, I don’t really know what I’m getting into with this one, but it’s called Son of a Smith, which I figure is like a son of a preacher man.

OK, maybe not. Let’s look at the summary!

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2218: A Zelda Christmas – Oneshot

Author: Rinnocent One
Media: Video Game
Topic: Legend of Zelda series
Genre:Humor/Friendship
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

 

Happy [insert preferred festive nomenclature here], dear Patrons!

I have returned with another Christmas themed oneshot – and it’s not from Twilight! It is a Zelda fic, though; there seems to be quite a number of Zelda-themed Christmas fics, oddly enough they mostly seem to be retoolings of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas and one that was basically an abbreviated version of the first chapters of A Christmas Carol starring Ganon as Scrooge. Because that makes sense, I guess.

As is the custom during these festive times, let’s take a look at the fic summary.

Comepltely random. one shot. Slight Yaoinessjust for like two seconds.

…Is it too late to pick the Ebenezer Ganondorf fic instead?

Okay me and my friend were talking about contests we sould do for our Zelda guild during the holidays and i just came up with some funny ideas.

You were thinking about contests you could run and that made you have fanfic ideas? That doesn’t sound very promising. While there are many literary works that use competitions in their narrative framework, I don’t know if fandom contests would be the best source of inspiration.

So here they are, a Christmas Fanfic in September.

Which I’m reading in December, because things posted to ff.net aren’t frozen in time. The Internet is not Brigadoon.

I am sorry for the OOC-ness of this story but im bored, and really random. But You’ll laugh.

Sweet mercy, this is one of those “OMG Sooo random!” fics where the author shoves a bunch of offensive/gross/weird/etc stuff into a poorly written fic and then excuses it all because they are bored or tired or just so damn eccentric that the rules governing the creation of a functional narrative don’t apply to them.

Dammit. This is just going to be one long train wreck, isn’t it?

I DO NOT own the Legend of Zelda games nor will i ever but enjoy this fic.

Based upon what I’ve seen already, I find it doubtful that I will.

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