1909: Dragon Souls – Chapter Three, Part One

Title: Dragon Souls
Author: A Dumbass
Media: Video Games
Topic: Skyrim and Dark Souls
Genre: Adventure, Supernatural
URL: None Available
Critiqued by Leider Hosen

Trigger Warning that Most Definitely Should be Heeded: Herein is a body of text quoted from the hawtest hawtsecks novel ever put to pen in all of history that will destroy the minds of anyone under age 69 who reads it, therefore it should not be read by anyone ever or you will die of hotness.

-Numerous Sarcasm Detectors explode in incredible fashion-

Welcome back Patrons, to the Hosen Suffers Party! If you want suffering, you’ve come to the right place! Last time… a whole lot of pointless plot regurgitation because younger me didn’t know any better, and thought having a chapter of plot regurgitation was A-Ok.

There wasn’t much to comment on, but trust me, that’s going to change very quickly.

Let’s start with the obligatory A/N:

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1904: Maya and Raider – Chapter Seven

Title: Maya and Raider
Author: Eclipsepheniox
Media: Video Game
Topic: Borderlands
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter 7
Critiqued by Delta XIII

I’m seriously running out of creative ways to open these things.

EVERYTHING WRONG
WITH
Maya and Raider
Chapter 7
(yeah yeah)
(you know the drill)

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1901: Dragon Souls – Chapter Two

Title: Dragon Souls
Author: A Dumbass
Media: Video Games
Topic: Skyrim and Dark Souls
Genre: Adventure, Supernatural
URL: None Available
Critiqued by Leider Hosen

Hello Patrons, welcome back to the “Hosen Suffers for his Sins” party! Drinks are hard and complimentary, you’re going to need them. I’m drunk as FUCK already *chug chug chug chug* There’s also chocolate, popcorn, chocolate popcorn, and a few dubious munchies I borrowed from Syl without her knowledge or permission.

-Hosen lifts a glowing bag of squiggly live squids salted with pepper, uranium, and extremophile bacteria from somewhere around Kuiper Belt- If this kills me, I can get out of doing the Riff! *nom*

…Dammit! It’s spicy and delicious.

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1895: raccoon city tales: team beta – Oneshot

Title:  raccoon city tales: team beta
Author:  pantherxii
Media: Video Game
Topic: Resident Evil
Genre: Horror
URL: raccoon city tales: team beta
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, patrons!  Given that I’m writing this on Halloween, I figured I’d keep with the spoopy theme and dig a Resident Evil fic out of my pile!

I’m so, so sorry.

Anyway, this week we’ve got a fic based loosely, very loosely, on Resident Evil 2, which is arguably the best game in the series.  Not that you’ll need to know much about the game, since it really won’t matter at all.  You’ll see why in… now:

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1893: Maya and Raider – Chapter Six

Title: Maya and Raider
Author: Eclipsepheniox
Media: Video Game
Topic: Borderlands
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter 6
Critiqued by Delta XIII

Alright, on to Chapter Six! I wonder how bad it’s gonna get-

…strap in, guys and girls (and all those in between).

EVERYTHING WRONG
WITH
Maya and Raider
Chapter 6
(blah blah)
(insert joke here)

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1892: Unknown Origins – Chapter One, Part Five

Title: Unknown Origins
Author: Cyberweasel89
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Adventure and Romance
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Hiraani and Queen Malieasha of Jacelajoglia

ONE DAY LATER

Queenie: *knocks on Hiraani’s bedroom door* Lady?

*grumbles something not understandable*

Queenie: *opens door* Hiraani, we’ve got to review the fic.

*grumbles again, covers head with sheets, face sinking into pillow*

Queenie: I know you’re hungover, but we’ve got to keep going.

*begrudgingly gets up* Fine. Last time…*Hiraani is at a blank* What happened last time?

Queenie: Doesn’t matter. Let’s read it.

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1891: Valkyrie: The Unknown Unit – Chapter Two, Part One

Title: Valkyire: The Unknown Unit
Author: JewishPotato
Media: Video Game
Topic: Overwatch
Genre: Adventure
URL: Chapter Two
Critiqued by SC, Bifocals and Glasses

Hello, and welcome back to “Valkyrie: The Unknown Unit,” by JewishPotato! I’m your host, SC, joined by Bifocals and Glasses, and last time, we met Ed, did stealth ops badly, accidentally dialed up Mercy on the phone (but promptly hung up on her), and killed three potential informants with only top-layer investigation done to reveal the bare-bones of their mission: sneak into Overwatch facilities that are guarded by morons and swipe all their personnel data for future nefarious doings. The mission was somehow a success, and the team has now departed back to their home base to unwind.

Let’s get back to that, shall we?

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