2361: Diary of an Outsider – Chapter 1

 

Author: IMakeBadPuns
Media: Video Game
Topic:  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another short little fic I found while wandering Skyrim’s section of ff.net. It’s not a crossover with anything, but it does have “diary” in the title which usually indicates a transcription of a character’s gameplay. Let’s check out the summary!

This is a set of diary entries following one of my Skyrim characters, a female Bosmer named Eira Bowmaster. I honestly have no idea where I’m going with this, but I feel like Eira might form strong friendships (maybe more) with Lydia, Aela and a couple more characters. We’ll just have to see where this goes. Rated T, might change back to M if it gets too violent.

I’m inferring a couple of things from this; this is the author transcribing their gameplay, probably as they go and without planning out any sort of coherent narrative, but they might want to add in some yuri bits and/or fanservice featuring a few of the female characters from the game or just want to make it seem that way as a kind of clickbait.

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2360: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Twenty, Part Two

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Retired Darth Lord Crunchy

And we’re back!  Two more chunks of this chapter to go and then I can spend a few weeks pallet cleansing with one-shots.  But until then, we’ve got some work to do.  Crunchy?

“Hmm?  Oh, apologies, I was just distracted by this article in the Zora Gazette.  According to this, a new class-action suit has been filed against WaterBnB Inc regarding unclear, misleading, and falsified occupancy and bed count information in their reservation system.  If successful, claimants would be compensated one pro-rated heroic feat per reservation.”

Huh, well I guess we don’t really need an unhelpful recap.  Let’s jump back into the highschool romance already in progress.

“Must we?”

Well, it’s what we’re here for.

Link nodded, suddenly hearing the click of the door lock behind him, and he stilled at the knowledge that he was sharing a room with Ashei.

Speaking of… where was…?

“What do you want to eat?” Came a voice off to the left of him.

Gah!  Shit, not only does this room not have enough beds, but it’s got a disembodied voice too!?

“Some have been know to pay extra for haunted lodgings.”

‘Some’ are bad with money.

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2356: Through the Darkness – Oneshot

SC’s Note: The acronym tag returns! Reminder, mouse over any text you see like this to see the hidden message, unless you’re on mobile, as the tag doesn’t work in that format.

Title: Through the Darkness
Author: Arisenlicious
Media: Video Game
Topic: Dragon’s Dogma
Genre: Humor
URL: Fic
Critiqued by SC and Scarlet of Mesyth

I’M NOT DEAD!

Scarlet: *Snerk*

What?

Scarlet: It’s a riff, friend, not the Resurrection of Christ. Pull back on the reins a bit.

…Fine. Fuck you, ruining my fun like that.

Scarlet: Someone has to keep you honest.

Anyhow, to refresh the memories of anybody who might have forgotten: I took a hiatus. I made a post about it when I did. The terms of my hiatus were simply that I was out, indefinitely, until such time as I felt like I was ready to come back. Recently, I’ve been starting to feel like riffing again, so I’m easing myself back into the swing of things with a short riff here and there, as the mood takes me.

With that in mind, we come to the fic: “Through the Darkness,” by author Arisenlicious, a one thousand-some-such-word fic from the Dragon’s Dogma side of fanfiction.net.

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2355: Game of Thrones and Dragons – Chapter 1

 

Author: ArtAddictedArchitect
Media: TV Series/Book/Video Game
Topic:  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim/Game of Thrones
Genre: none given
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another single chapter and possible oneshot from the Skyrim/GoT crossover section! The fic is only a few months old and hasn’t had any updates, but is described as a “power wank fic” in the author’s bio, so they may add to it when they feel like stroking their SI some more.

It … It gets bad. Really bad. You should go get a headdesking pillow now to avoid the line.

:brief pillow pause:

Everyone prepped and ready? Great! Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?

SI insert into game of thrones as the Dragonborn

Well, that’s certainly … succinct.

I woke up to a slow gradual bumping with a headache.

Urgh. I don’t remember drinking last night.

I’m not really a big drinker, but I don’t think hangovers are usually accompanied by bumping sensations.

The last thing I remember was booting up the PC, getting ready to play a heavily modded version of Skyrim.

That probably describes every PC version of Skyrim – Why run vanilla when the Nexus is a thing that exists? – but what kind of mods? There’s a lot of weird stuff under that umbrella. Are we talking “Every dragon is now Thomas the Dank Engine” and there’s tits on the side of the Blue Palace or do you have so many ENBs and graphical enhancements running you have to keep a fire extinguisher trained on your GPU at all times?

Did I fall asleep gaming? I am sitting up so there’s that.

Why would that be an option? Wouldn’t gaming tend to keep you awake, since you’re presumably focused on a particular task?

But things didn’t add up. Why would I be in a rocking upright position if I fell asleep in my apartment?

Do you own a rocking chair?

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2354: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Twenty, Part One

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Retired Darth Lord Crunchy

Whew, here we are, the last chapter before my one-shot break.  And this chapter is certainly going to be something.  And by something, I mean a whole lotta nothing.

But first, recap!

“Affectionate tentacle beast looks for love in all the wrong places.”

Perfect.  Onwards to… whatever the hell this chapter is.  Well, after she’s done disclaiming and gushing at us in another author’s note.

Disclaimer: I’d make some sort of joke here, but I’ve run out of them. I don’t own any of this (except the plot and a few characters).

“Is she suggesting that the previous disclaimers were supposed to be funny?”

Well, she’s implying that they were supposed to be jokes.  Maybe they’re the kind of jokes that are supposed to be more sad than funny.

Also, Vikki, in order to own the plot you would have needed to create your own.

Yay, I’m back!

Yaaaaaaaaay.  *Twirls finger*

Sorry it took so long, I just had people (family mostly) requesting that I draw a bunch of things, and so that took time away from this.

We don’t care.

But, since this is now up I’m finally back in business, and so now it’s time to get a move on through some more character development and (hopefully) the Bottom of the Well!

Spoiler:  Her pacing is so slow she doesn’t make it to the side-quest.

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2353: Sonichu — Issue 2, Episode 9 and Sub-Episode 3

Title: Sonichu
Author: Christine Weston Chandler, aka. Christopher Weston Chandler, aka. Christian Weston Chandler, aka. Chris-Chan
Media: Webcomic
Topic: Sonic The Hedgehog / Pokemon / IRL / Yu-Gi-Oh
Genre: “Parody”, apparently.
URL: Issue 2 Template Box
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to the wonderful world of Sonichu.

Last time actually a whole lot of plot-relevant shit went down. Chris and Sonichu discovered an ancient ruin (left behind by the Cherokees, of all people!) which contained magical pedestals capable of empowering Chris’s medallion to be able to turn him into Chris-Chan Sonichu and also giving him an expositional vision from the ancient Cherokee “king” he is apparently a reincarnation of.

By some weird coincidence Sarah, the girl Chris has a one-sided boner for, and Wes, the dude Chris has a one-sided hateboner for due to his having briefly dated Sarah when they were all in high school, are also reincarnations of ancient Amerindian (or in the case of Wes and his ‘Wasabi Clan’ heritage, possibly Japanese) leaders, and they too have hedgehog powers. They’re all prophecized to band together to defeat some kind of Ancient Evil that got released when Sonichu found the cave, but Wes is more interested in acquiring the Cherokian Crown, an artifact which Chris apparently briefly possessed and which has THE POWAH TO RULE THE WOOOOOORLD!!!!

He beat the tar out of Chris while the both of them were in hedgehog form and managed to swipe the Crown, but then Sarah showed up and nailed him to a tree with a lightning arrow.

Typo Cunter: 40

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2352: SUECOM: Mirror Image – Chapter 1, Part 2

Minh Header 06 10 2019

STARRING:

WILLIAM SHATNER CRAZY MINH as CAPTAIN KIRK CRAZY MINH

And

LENOARD NIMOY as COMMANDER SPOCK SIR-NOT-APPEARING-IN-THIS-RIFF-‘CAUSE-HE’S-DEAD (Ethan bloody Peck is #Notmyspock)

Title: XSGCOM Mirror Image
Author: Hotpoint
Topic: X-COM: UFO Defence/Stargate SG1
Media: Video game/TV show
Genre: Adventure
URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3631062/1/XSGCOM_Mirror_Image
Critiqued By Crazy Minh

Hello patrons, and welcome back to ‘SUECOM: Mirror Image’, alternatively titled ‘XSGCOM: Mirror Image’ or ‘XSGCOM: Goa’uld Defence’! I’m your guest riffer Crazy Minh, and today we tackle the second part of chapter one. Last time on this trainwreck of a badfic, X-COM were introduced as the story’s Gary Stumanity analogue; some bumblefuck Jaffa got their asses wrecked to showcase how X-COM has no sense of tact or restraint; and I got so mad that the Bongo’s FHRPAEH magazines were depleted in a prolonged barrage of rocket-propelled hammers! Now, we resume our story just where we left off; from the perspective of a captive Jaffa, who I feel very, very sorry for…

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