760: The Fallen Lords – Episode Seven

Title: The Fallen Lords
Author: TacoMagic
Media: MUD
Topic:  Medievia
Genre: Not Listed
URL: Not available online
Critiqued by Lyle

Hey everyone!  Welcome back to the Library! This week we’ll be finishing up TacoMoron’s old badfic, The Fallen Lords.  When last we met for this particular fic, Vaseline, Token Female, the Red-Shirt Wonder Twins, and Stus 1 and 2 were chatting with a guy at the entrance to The Mine about how Throat Clearing went missing and no one bothered to go looking for him.  Suddenly, and from behind, Mr. Evil Jawa from The Cleric Complex showed up, stabbed Random Guy, knocked Stu-dar unconscious, and poofed away with Stu-dar without bothering to kill his host of friends, all of whom are going to want to find their buddy and exact revenge on the Evil Jawa Cult.  We end with Stu-gar still unconscious on a table while the head Jawa cackles maniacally.

As far as we know, The Heros don’t actually know where they’ve taken Stu-gar but they’re going to get there somehow anyway.  Let’s find out how.

Oh, and it’s worth noting that this final chapter is only three and a half pages long.  This bodes really well for an epically underwhelming climax and plot resolution.

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759: United under two skies – Chapter Eleven

Title: United under two skies
Author: Gearman
Media:  Video Game
Topic:  Mass Effect/Fallout
Genre: None Listed
URL:   Chapter Eleven
Critiqued by SuperFeatherYoshi

01

*Due to the extreme amount of what-the-fuckery Chapter 10 contains, this section has been redacted for security reasons. We apologize for any inconvenience, please see Chapter 10 snarking for more details.*

Hey guys, SuperFeatherYoshi here! And I’m glad to inform you all that since my mid-term exams are finished, I can finally concentrate on snarking!

Honestly, I can’t believe Gearman was capable of cramming so much Whiskey Tango Foxtrot inducing content into a single chapter. And literally EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM was a giant middle finger to Mass Effect canon.

Can Gearman sink lower? Can Rex become even more unlikable? Will there be any tension left in this story? Let’s find out, shall we?

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758: Legendary Adventures, Futuristic Saviors – Chapter Two, Part One

Title: Legendary Adventures, futuristic Saviors
Author:Stone-Man85
Media:Movie/Anime
Topic: Princess Mononoke
Genre:Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter Two
Critiqued by SC

Hello, and welcome back to Legendary Adventurers, Futuristic Saviors by Stone-Man85! I’m your host and guest-riffer, SC, and in the last chapter, a whooole lot of anime filler episode shit went on in a story built around a canon that abides none of it. That, and the author displayed Critical Research Failure all over the place, from the Haneda/Narita International Airport (which Herr and Lyle both assert to more likely be Narita, so we’ll go with that) being mislabeled as the non-existent Tokyo International Airport, to Florida somehow relating to forests and the Blair Witch Project, to the actual damn canon this fic is based around refusing to acknowledge the existence of any of the other gods who were present that weren’t Moro and Shishigami, who spent the whole chapter being called by the misnomer “Shisha-Gami”, and claiming that people saw San as a beautiful huntress more powerful than the Imperial Military, when the truth is that they considered her a hideous monster and she was barely capable of handling a small refugee town who were largely untrained for combat.

Fun times.

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757: Red Shadows – Prologue/Chapter 1, Chapters 2-3

 

Title: Red Shadows
Author: Mendokusai Kyuubi no Kitsune
Media: Cartoon/Book/Movie
Topic: Twilight/Danny Phantom
Genre: Supernatural
URL:  Chapter 1
URL:  Chapter 2
URL: Chapter 3
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello there, wonderful Patrons! I’m here with another short fic from the Pile-o-Fail – this time, it’s a crossover! This particular crosses the town bicycle of fanfics, Twilight, with the animated series Danny Phantom. I’ve previously done one other Danny Phantom fic where I covered the basics of the series, so I won’t give a detailed synopsis here – and if you don’t know what Twilight is, welcome to the Internet! Thank you for choosing the Library as your first destination,

The fic begins with a short “I own nothing” Author’s Note, and that is followed by what looks like a key of some kind.

Thinking (Normal Speech)

Thinking (Thoughts)

We haven’t even gotten to the fic proper and already I’m confused. I assume that this is supposed to help the reader differentiate between someone thinking to themselves and the kind of telepathy that the wolves (and to a lesser degree Edward) possess, but isn’t there a better way to do this? Or do things get so confusing at times that a key is needed just to figure out what’s going on? Either way, it looks like I’m in for a fun time.

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756: Quarter Quell Sequels – The Cavern’s Secret Chapter 5 and Prisoner of the Stone Chapter 1

Title: Quarter Quell
Author: L.Q. Brooks
Media:  Books/Movies
Topic: Ice Age/Hunger Games
Genre: Family/Suspense
URL: The Cavern’s Secret: Chapter 5
URL: Prisoner of the Stone: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello everyone, and welcome back to this stupid run of Quarter Quell sequels.

Today, I’ve decided to do a little something different, and this will hold for the series. Since all the fics in this series have roughly the same running time, I’ve just decided to review two chapters at a time, even if I have to start the first chapter of the next installment by doing that. So fun times will be had with that, yeah?

Anyway, let’s get on with this, right? We get to actually finish the first of these six sequels today!

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755: A Jedi’s Destiny – Chapter Five

Title: A Jedi’s Destiny
Author: 
Victor Tarsus
Media: Movies
Topic: Lion King / Star Wars
Genre: Sci-Fi / Adventure
URL:  A Jedi’s Destiny
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Welcome back to A Jedi’s Destiny, the fic that dares make Jedi421’s fic look like a masterpiece of character writing.

I’m kinda pressed for time this week, so we’re just gonna jump right in without the normal ado.

Chapter 5

Beyond the Wall

Or, inside the fence as it were. Read the rest of this entry »


754: My Little Fallout, Vegas Isn’t Magic – Chapter 15

Title: My Little Fallout, Vegas Isn’t Magic
Author: SomeGuyCamping
Media: Video Game/Cartoon
Topic: Fallout/My Little Pony
Genre: None Given
URL: None Available
Critiqued by Erttheking

N: Are we sure that this is a good idea?

W: Look, Ert and I spent all of last week talking to her while you and the others worked on the review. We both agreed that she needs to get out and confront the source of her stress if she wants to get by it. In this case the problem being facing that her story was poorly written and overcoming it, and the best way to do that is indirectly by taking the piss out of someone else’s work. It helps that the author to this story has acknowledged the flaws in his story, making it clear that people can accept flaws and move on and…well you get the idea. Ready BRSue?

B: I think so…

W: Just jump in when you feel comfortable and don’t be afraid to tell me that you need to stop.

B: Right… Read the rest of this entry »