2439: The Purple Queen – Chapter 24

Title: The Red Queen
Author: Dravyn LeCrux
Media: Web Series
Topic: RWBY
Genre: Drama/Tragedy
URL: Chapter 24
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and GoodJamags)

Goffik Tearz of Blood

Uwaah count: 13
A Sentence Fragment count: 158
Roll Call count: 7
Vomit Boy count: 8

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags…

GoodJamags: … And I’m your guest host, GoodJamags…

… And we’re back with the second-to-last chapter of The Red Queen. Last time, Sueby ran around threatening the dumbass conspirators. Onward!

Beacon Academy.

An Academic Sentence Fragment count: 159

On second thought, can we go get coffee before we get started? If literally the first sentence of the chapter is a fragment, I know this is going to be a long one.

GoodJamags: Probably a good idea.

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2438: The Legend of Zelda: Jurassic Encounters – Chapter 1 – Oneshot

Title: The Legend of Zelda: Jurassic Encounters
Author: Haninator
Media: Movie/Game
Topic: Legend of Zelda/Jurassic Park/Kitchen Sink
Genre: Adventure/Horror
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat




Hello, dear Patrons!

As the wonderful wonkiness that is my previous fic hasn’t updated yet, I’ve decided to squeeze in a oneshot before embarking on our traditional Spooktober festivities – which for me usually means Slendpai fics. I can’t say that there won’t be sexy Slendpai shenanigans, because I haven’t actually picked out my fics yet, but I also can’t not say there won’t be sexy shenanigans because sweet mercy do people love writing Slendpai tentacle rape fics.

So. Many. Tentacles.

And on that note, let’s take a look at the summary for this fic, which does not have any tentacle rape in it. I think. It’s been a while since I read through it.

A familiar story with a fun twist and a character from another world. What could possibly go wrong. All dialogue is my creation. The story is mine, the characters aren’t… with the exception of select few. Rated T for flesh-ripping dinos.

That doesn’t sound all that bad … Wait, flesh-ripping dinos? I thought this was supposed to be a Zelda fic?


:suddenly a ninja that was always there appears:

I think you brought me the wrong fic, this is supposed to be a Zelda fic.


Crossover? With … WHAT?!?

So it appears that someone wrote a Legend of Zelda/Jurassic Park crossover, which is the second-weirdest crossover I’ve ever heard of.

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2437: Voicebox – Chapter 5

Title: Voicebox: A Ticci Toby fanfiction
Author: WhiteSiren
Media: Creepypasta
Topic: Ticci Toby/Jeff the Killer/ Slenderman / etc.
Genre: Horror/Romance
URL: Voicebox
Critiqued by PsychoNerd054

Trigger Warning:  This chapter really ramps up with the author utilizing several different instances sexual assault for cheap drama and romance fuel.  If you are sensitive to such topics, it is recommended to pass by today’s installment.

Welcome back to Voicebox. Previously, Shayla killed a little kid and his family for bullying her little, was sexually assaulted by Jeff the Killer, had a weird ass dream about her sister, and learned that logic no longer applies when it comes to magic and resurrecting people. This time, we actually have somewhat of an actual plot. Shayla must now travel across the country to collect random things to resurrect her sister. Along the way, we get a deeper look into the suethor’s agenda.

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2436: MediEvil Oneshots

Title: A Dog’s Loyalty
Author: Top-Hat Lycanthrope
Media: Video Game
Topic: MediEvil
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Friendship
URL: A Dog’s Loyalty
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, patrons, welcome back to Wednesday!  With the Library’s official unofficial Spooptacular on the horizon, I thought I’d start getting us in the mood by savaging a few fics based on the MediEvil franchise.

For those who haven’t been exposed to it, MediEvil is a set of two Playstation games released in 1998 and 2000.  There is technically a third game, MediEvil: Resurrection released in 2005, but it’s a re-imagining of the first game and not really a fresh entry to the series.  The games follow the comedic exploits of Sir Daniel Fortesque, a charlatan knight who is killed by the first arrow fired in the only battle he ever participated in, and his quest for posthumous redemption by saving the kingdom from the evil wizard Zarok.

Actually, the game does a fair job of introducing itself, so why don’t I just let it do that.

Despite some control flaws, it’s a great little game that combines a hack-n-slash beat-em-up style game such as Gauntlet Legends or Diablo with exploration and puzzling as found in Legend of Zelda.  There is also a remaster of the first game coming out in October that I’d be more excited about if it wasn’t a PS4 exclusive.  So it goes.

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2435: Mass Murder Effect: The First War Crime (Was Committed By The Protagonists) — Chapter 6 Part 2

Title: Mass Effect: The First War
Author: ProfFartBurger
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 6
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Mass Effect: The First War, which may at some point have had something vaguely to do with Mass Effect.

Last time, some random Marines who refused to surrender on Roof engaged in a convoluted process to get a signal back to Earth informing their friends that the planet had been invaded.

You know, it just occurred to me that this seems like a bit of an unnecessary objective for the Marines to even be pursuing. Since system-to-system communication is pretty easy for the humans and there were previously established to be news and personal messages being sent back and forth routinely, one would think that just the prolonged silence of the planet would cause Earth to send in an expeditionary force to check it out pretty quickly without anyone on Roof even needing to do anything.

Also ‘Roof’ is still a terrible name for a planet.

Either way, the message had the unfortunate side effect of informing the turians of Earth’s location, so now they’re gearing up for a full-scale assault.


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