2375: The Purple Queen – Chapter 14

Title: The Red Queen
Author: Dravyn LeCrux
Media: Web Series
Topic: RWBY
Genre: Drama/Tragedy
URL: Chapter 14
Critiqued by BatJamags

Crisis on Infinite Snakes

Uwaah count: 13
A Sentence Fragment count: 36

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and, if any of you happen to be French, Happy Bastille Day! Are you happy yet? Good, now I’m going to ruin the mood by showing you more of this fic. This chapter is entitled “Don’t Tread On Me,” which makes me think I should’ve been scheduling this closer to the 4th, but meh. Let’s get started.

Nipping at her nose was a slight chill.

Yuletide carols being sung by a choir, and folks dressed up like Eskimos?

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2368: The Purple Queen – Chapter 13

Title: The Red Queen
Author: Dravyn LeCrux
Media: Web Series
Topic: RWBY
Genre: Drama/Tragedy
URL: Chapter 13
Critiqued by BatJamags

It was…………………………………………………….Bat-Ozpin!

Uwaah count: 12
A Sentence Fragment count: 32

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and hey, it’s more of this. Aren’t you excited? No? Great!

Last time, Ruby had a fight with Roman, Emerald, and Mercury. Cinder showed up. My chapter summaries continued being depressingly short.

‘Okay,’ Ruby mused to herself. ‘This is getting a little complicated. Roman alone would have been a tough fight, and his two new henchmen didn’t seem to be the type of just drop so easily. And to top it all off, this woman managed to fight off Miss Goodwitch, a capable and well trained Huntress with years of experience under her belt.

Whose job apparently entails being Ozpin’s coffee-getter.

This isn’t exactly looking the best.

The fic? I should think not.

The White Fang goons have already been taken care of, so should I just have Dinah and the other retreat? I can probably escape from here pretty easily. Shit!’

The four villains just kind of stood there, slack-jawed, while Sueby had her internal debate.

Ruby was thinking deeply about her present situation. To say it was bad wouldn’t be the entire truth, nor would it be entirely incorrect.

It would, however, be a way of wasting entirely too much of the reader’s time on nothing.

Three variables.

Three Sentence Fragments! Three! Ah-ah-ah! Count: 33

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2366: The Purple Queen – Chapter 12

Title: The Red Queen
Author: Dravyn LeCrux
Media: Web Series
Topic: RWBY
Genre: Drama/Tragedy
URL: Chapter 12
Critiqued by BatJamags

The Superior Spider-Grimm

Uwaah count: 12
A Sentence Fragment count: 30

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with another exciting chapter of The Red Queen! Last time, Bat-Ozpin learned that the reports of Sueby’s death were so blatantly fake a brain-dead squirrel could see it greatly exaggerated and sent Yang and Jaune to go look for her. Meanwhile, Sueby went to a place and bought things and maybe saw Roman Torchwick. The latter sequence of events took up the bulk of the wordcount because of course it did.

So, let’s dive into the next chapter!

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2362: The Purple Queen – Chapter 11

Title: The Red Queen
Author: Dravyn LeCrux
Media: Web Series
Topic: RWBY
Genre: Drama/Tragedy
URL: Chapter 11
Critiqued by BatJamags

Do you ever wonder why we’re here?

Uwaah count: 12
A Sentence Fragment count: 15

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with the thrilling continuation of The Red Queen! Last time, not much of any importance happened. This time, not much of any importance will continue to happen. Let’s have a look, shall we?

A sigh.

A Sentence Fragment count: 16

That was the only sound in the otherwise calm and quiet office that belonged to Professor Ozpin.

Hey, would you keep that racket down? With all the sighing going on, I can barely hear myself think.

The days had dragged on quite a bit, especially with preparing for the upcoming tournament. The chosen students were being given extra training time, were excused from class if necessary, etc.

Abbreviations in the narration are just my favorite.

The paperwork accompanying all of this had to go through Ozpin, and his workload just increased and increased. The matter with Ruby, however, was still one of his main concerns, as if what he and Yang thought was true, then that would mean there is a young huntsman or huntress that has the wrong prey in their sights.

I mean, yeah, at least one of my students probably murdered somebody, but have you seen all this paperwork?!

This was something Ozpin had to work on and remedy as soon as he could, but he also had to do it discreetly. If the general student populace knew about this, it could cause panic, paranoia, or in the worst case scenario a witch hunt might break out.

Not sure what their problem with Glynda would be, but sure. Wouldn’t want to do anything that would move the plot along.

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2358: Son of a Smith – Chapter 2

Title: Son of a Smith
Author: DemonKnight312
Media: Comic Book? Cartoon? ff.net lumps the animated Justice League into the same section as the comics, so it’s impossible to tell.
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Supernatural / Friendship
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by BatJamags

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and we’re back with another Justice League fic that I think was a Batman fic in disguise. Seriously, what is with that?

Anyway, last time our self-insert got reborn as the demigod child of Hephaestus and some random Amazon who was named after food. He went to school in Gotham and made friends with baby Pamela Isley and eight-year-old Bruce Wayne. He also swore a lot, which is mostly my job. We resume the fic in the process of building an obnoxious Gotham Babies spinoff series.

Actually, I’m pretty sure we already got one of those, but I guess it didn’t have a totes badass to the max self-insert in it.

Four years since I met Bruce but damn it all the little bastard endeared himself to me, I often do wonder if this is what it’s like to have a little brother.

Bruce Wayne: Well known for endearing himself to people.

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2351: Son of a Smith – Chapter 1

Title: Son of a Smith
Author: DemonKnight312
Media: Comic Book? Cartoon? ff.net lumps the animated Justice League into the same section as the comics, so it’s impossible to tell.
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Supernatural / Friendship
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by BatJamags

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I lied to you. I said I’d find a bad Justice League oneshot, but this thing has two chapters, so yeah. There’s that. I’ll be doing this for two weeks and then we’ll get back to The Red Queen. And I’m like 40% certain we’ll get back to The Shadow Warriors sometime this year maybe. Anyway, I don’t really know what I’m getting into with this one, but it’s called Son of a Smith, which I figure is like a son of a preacher man.

OK, maybe not. Let’s look at the summary!

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2345: The Purple Queen – Chapter 10

Title: The Red Queen
Author: Dravyn LeCrux
Media: Web Series
Topic: RWBY
Genre: Drama/Tragedy
URL: Chapter 10
Critiqued by BatJamags

Brevity is the Soul of Wit

Uwaah count: 12
A Sentence Fragment count: 15

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with potentially my last chapter of The Red Queen (unless something happens in this chapter to hold my interest)!

[Note from THE FUTURE! Again, leaving in my threats to quit as a display of frustration even though I will finish this thing… eventually. I’ll see you at the bottom of this for more details.]

Last time, Jaune whined about Sueby being dead *ducks under incoming cannonball*, Pyrrha twirled her mustache and whined about Jaune not loving her *takes the next cannonball directly to the jaw and respawns in a pirate outfit*, and Jaune found out through the most horrifying affront to the journalistic profession ever inflicted upon unsuspecting newsreaders that Sueby is still alive *the third cannonball knocks my sweet pirate hat off and I shake my cutlass out the hole it leaves*.

YARR! YE’LL PAY FOR THAT ONE, YE SCURVY SCALLYWAGS!

I’ll need to be doin’ somethin’ about that thar ship, me hearties.

Parting really sucks.

Eloquently put. I’m sure the Bard himself couldn’t have phrased it better.

Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night ‘till it be morrow.

Ugh. Purple, much? What a pretentious hack, amirite? (Though the dialogue in Romeo and Juliet is actually supposed to be overwrought.)

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