1875: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper – Chapter Two

Title: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper
Author: Darth Sith’ari
Media: Film
Topic: Star Wars
Genre: None given, other than the fact that it’s an AU
URL: Chapter Two
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and Jamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags, and I’m back with…

Holy shit, he’s gone!

Jamags: Hello?

Oh, yeah, you’re here.

Jamags: You were the one who invited me.

Yeah, I know, I’m just glad to get rid of the other guy who was in here. Right, we’re riffing a bad Star Wars fic where Padme Amidala’s been made into an out-of-character Mando mercenary so there can be female clones.

Jamags:

Jamags: Ah.

I understand. So anyway, like I mentioned in the last riff, this is Jamags. He’s a Jedi.

Jamags: To be a bit more specific, I’m a Jedi Sentinel working with the Republic as an intelligence agent. I became a Master after my padawan and I disrupted an attempt on Senator’s life. When the Clone Wars started, I was assigned to command of the 507th Strategic Offensive Corps. This guy pulled me out of that timeline, so I theoretically shouldn’t know about anything that occurred after that. I actually have all the spoilers.

All of them?

Jamags: Indeed.

You were supposed to say “aaaaaaaallllllllllllllll of them.”

Jamags: I see. I’ll keep that in mind for the future.

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1861: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper – Chapter One

Title: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper
Author: Darth Sith’ari
Media: Film
Topic: Star Wars
Genre: None given, other than the fact that it’s an AU
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and GoodJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags, or BadJamags, if you listen to this idiot-

GoodJamags: Hi!

You don’t get to talk. Anyway, we’re back with a new badfic that has absolutely nothing to do with Batman! I know, crazy, right?

GoodJamags: Yeah, I can tell you like to live life on the edge.

What did I say?

GoodJamags: “I know, crazy, right?”

If you don’t stop prolonging this, I’m going to have to…

*SLAM!*

*Puts Door launcher down*

Show you the Door. Heh, that one never gets old.

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1850: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter Five, Part Two

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 5
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags and Kane)

Shadow Kill count: 5

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, GoodJamags, and we’re back for more of The Shadow Warriors!

Kane: For some reason beyond even my comprehension, this one has asked me to return as well.

Last time, not much happened. Like, at all. This time, I don’t expect much better.

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1840: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter Five, Part One

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 5
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags and Kane)

Shadow Kill count: 5

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, GoodJamags, and we’re back for more of The Shadow Warriors for some reason!

Kane: Hello.

GAH! When did you get in here?

Kane: I was already here when you arrived. I am now trapped.

As long as you’re not Trapped, I’m fine with it.

Kane: Perhaps we should investigate the author’s note to this… thing?

Right. Just to be clear, you’re not mad about my taking over the riffing duties?

Kane: Doubtful. However, I may need to see about putting our usual heckler back into place before long.

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1823: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter Four

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags)

WARNING: Vague, glossed-over reference to domestic abuse. Again with this shit.

Shadow Kill count: 5

Nickname chart:

Edgelord: Jayden Warney/Shadow

Generic Female Unit #1: Alexandra ???/Breeze

The Other Jason: Jason ???/Dusk

Sam Motherfuckin’ Jackson: Sam Jackson/Gauntlet

Jean Grey: Blaze Zephyr/Phoenix

Comrade Communist: Marcas Valitov/Red Crosshairs

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, GoodJamags, and we’re back for more of the Edgy Warriors, the edgefic with so much edge that it cut itself and started bleeding all over the place, because blood is edgy.

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1808: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter Three, Part Two

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 3
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags)

Shadow Kill count: 4

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, GoodJamags, and we’re back for more of the Shadow Warriors. Oh, and I’m still unperson-ing a guest guest host.

Let’s dive back in.

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1802: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter Three

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter Three
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags)

Shadow Kill count: 4

[NOTE: This riff used to have a guest riffer. She ended up being boring and not showing up again, so if any of this sounds like it was written as two-person dialogue, that’s why. I’ve tried to clean it all up, though.]

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, GoodJamags, and your usual guest host is still tied up in the basement-

Muffled Voice: Fuck you!

Anyway, last time on the Shadow Warriors, Edgelord, Generic Female Unit #1, and The Other Jason fought Two-Face, and killed him. Luckily, it turned out not to be Two-Face, but Clayface! So, they fought Clayface in an epic battle, the sheer scale and tension of which would make Dakari-King Mykan proud.

Then, the requisite Deus ex Machina came in the form of Sam Motherfuckin’ Jackson, who was all like “Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfuckin’ supervillains in this motherfuckin’ town!” Then, he battled Clayface with his purple lightsaber, did the Pulp Fiction speech, and then recruited Edgelord, GFU1, and TOJ to the Avengers Initiative.

And got eaten by a raptor or something. While advertising the Capital One Venture Card. What’s in your wallet?

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