2389: Talk Show of Pudding episode 3

Title:Talk Show of Pudding episode 3
Author: memyselfisesshy93 and Ghastlyme4
Media: Kitchen Sink / Anime
Topic: Kitchen Sink / Inuyasha
Genre: “Humor”/Parody
URL: Talk Show of Pudding episode 3
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hello, patrons, and welcome back to another installment of the LOL!Random funtimes known as Pudding Talk.  Since the summary of this episode is just mentioning the interview character, and there’s no continuity worth doing a recap for, we’re just going to jump right in.

G4: We’re here again at Talk Show of Pudding!

CHN: WHY DO I HAVE TO BE IN HERE?

You know the fic is really bad when even the writer wants the hell out.

Camera goes to a cage with CHN in

G4: because you will go all fangirl on the guest (whispers) plus we ran out of straight jackets.

Ignoring everything else going on here in favor of being pedantic: does this mean you finally decided to delineate actions with parenthesis instead of just having the characters say what they’re doing?

That’s a nice bit of improvement.  A shame that it’s completely overshadowed by the rest of the fic being so fucking awful in both concept and execution.

CHN: I would not! I have gain self-control lately!

Read the rest of this entry »


2388: Mass Effect: The First War — Chapter 2

Title: Mass Effect: The First War
Author: ProfFartBurger
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Mass Effect: The First Mass Effect War, which takes place in Mass Effect!

Last time, a human expedition encountered the quarian Migrant Fleet and exchanged preliminary First Contact transmissions of dubious quality.

And they did so very, very slowly.

first_war_bb_2

Not seeing much movement on the ol’ Bingo Board yet, although we have had some borderline Halo ripoffs and tentative demonization of the turians.

Read the rest of this entry »


2387: Lemonade – Oneshot?

Title: Lemonade
Author: SpideyMoon
Media: Comic Book? Cartoon?
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Potential Trollfic
URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13111445/1/Lemonade
Critiqued by BatJamags

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags, and I’m back for our oneshot break from The Red Queen. Today, we’ll be looking at another oneshot from the Justice League section. Let’s have a peak at the summary, shall we?

Stop the Creeper, Batman.

Ah, the Creeper is an interesting character.

jeepers

Jeepers!

Jack Ryder is an obnoxious talk show host who got doused with chemicals or something (he’s one of those characters whose origin gets changed every five seconds), started dressing in one of the DC Universe’s more ridiculous costumes, and became essentially a good (?) version of the Joker. He runs around laughing maniacally (a laugh which may or may not be supernaturally discomforting or outright painful), having super strength and agility, beating up bad guys, and generally being a walking acid trip. He shows up sporadically in stuff, usually as a supporting character for Batman. His most notable appearance was in Batman: The Animated Series, where he was so nuts that the Joker of all people was legitimately terrified of him. He’s like a more interesting Deadpool: Lighter on the ultraviolence and fourth wall-breaking and heavier on the absurdist humor.

Anyway, I’m not sure why Batman needs to stop him, but I suppose we’ll look into the fic to find out. Naturally, we start off with an author’s note.

SpideyMoon owns nothing but her own OC characters and her ideas so please don’t copy any of my fanfics without my permission ok?

Oh, sounds like we’ve got an ORIGINAL CHARACTER DONUT STEELE on our hands. That should be fun. So, after a line break, we get into the fic proper.

Batman punches the Creeper from hitting Joker for robbing his suits and gets him imprisonment.

Huh? Who’s robbing whose suits now? Who’s hitting who? What?

Lemonade is served.

Ah, right, well I’m glad there are refreshments… I guess. Anyway, after another line break we cut to-

The End.

Huh? Oh, I… guess it’s over?

Well, this is awkward. I… guess I’ll see you guys later.

*SLAM!*

And now, your out-of-context quote from the next riff:

Revenge is a dish best served lukewarm with a side of angst.


2386: Crimson Whirlwind – Oneshot

SC’s Note: Any instance of gender pronouns being capitalized is not random, nor is it a grammatical error on my end. It’s actually fairly common, when discussing gods, to capitalize their respective pronouns as a show of reverence.

Also, friendly reminder, and text you see highlighted like this, mouse over to see the hidden text. Does not work on mobile.

Title: Crimson Whirlwind
Author: ChaosDancer12
Media: Video Game
Topic: Final Fantasy 13
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Fic
Critiqued by SC and Teh Specs

Hello, and welcome back to the Library of the Damned! I’m your host, SC, still trying to get myself back to my old riffing self again, and as such, we have a new oneshot we’ll be tackling this week!

Well… I say oneshot, but it’s technically two chapters. Except that the first chapter is literally a paragraph long and serves only as a means of setting the scene for the rest of the fic, if the author ever cares to continue on with it (it was posted on the seventh and updated a day later, so there’s a high likelihood that it’ll update again after this riff), so it’s really not a “chapter” at all.

Also, I brought this idiot with me.

Specs: Hi!

Yeah, I’m back to babysitting these dipshits again, and given that somebody thought it was cool to let them use military hardware (not naming names or anything, Minh’s cousin), I’ve now come to the conclusion that the next time I need to dump them off on somebody else, they’re going to Scarlet.

Scarlet, out in the hall: Don’t you place that evil upon me, sir!

At least you’ll make sure they behave!

Scarlet, out in the hall: Yes! By killing them! Repeatedly! I am a bad parenting figure, why don’t you understand this?!

Specs: Also, it’s kind of really rude of you to leave me to be “babysat” by the man who beheaded me at the height of my prime, not gonna lie.

Read the rest of this entry »


2385: Danny Phantom – Dinosaur Children – Chapter 3

 

Author: SaurusRocks625
Media: Movie/TV Series
Topic:  Danny Phantom/Jurassic Park/Jurassic World
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 3
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons and welcome to the shady side of the molehill that is this fic. It’s all down from here!

Yay.

In the last chapter the Character Blob of children were summoned to the Fenton lab to be informed by the parental Character Blob (and also Jazz) that they had been selected for a mysterious project by Jurassic World that they apparently had never heard of before.

This chapter starts off not with an Author’s Note but with more lyrics from the Danny Phantom theme song so I’m just going to skip over that and go right to the chapter title.

Meeting Doctor Wu and DNA Transplant!

:headdesk:

Oh, I’m not going to like this.

“Uh, guys? Are you sure this is safe?” Sam asked.

I’d ask who she was talking to but it really doesn’t matter who she’s asking, since neither the Fentons nor In Gen are known for their safety practices.

Read the rest of this entry »


2384: A Thorned Rose (re-write) Chapters 10 and 11

Title: A Thorned Rose (re-write)
Author:  Mercs2Girl
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mercenaries Franchise
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapters Ten and Eleven
Critiqued by: ME-Iron-Maiden

Hello, everyone and welcome back to the snarking of A Thorned Rose. I’m ME-Iron-Maiden and we are joined today by the winner of the 2018 Sucktastic Award for Favorite Character We Were Supposed to Hate, legendary mercenary Jennifer Mui.

Mui: “I’d better be getting paid for this.”

SSV Hastings is going to be sitting in spacedock for three weeks while the yard dogs rebuild all the shit you destroyed when you woke up. Believe me, I’m already paying for this decision.

Mui: “You abducted me after I got knocked out by an explosion. How did you expect I’d react?”

Fair point.

Mui: “So is this a paying gig or not?”

Until you get a clean bill of health, I won’t be getting you set up on jobs. Consider this a familiarization course while you recover.

Mui: *grumbles*

Besides, patching you up and getting rid of that mind control wasn’t cheap. Stick with me through this and we’ll call it square. I’ll even put some feelers out for some high-paying jobs for you.

Mui: “I suppose I can handle that. Better than being laid up in an infirmary with angry Marines staring me down at all hours.”

Alright, then. Let’s get started. When we left off, Jimmy and Mui got ambushed by the KPA and separated from one another.

Mui: “You have no idea how relieved I am that I finally got rid of that arsehole. It was worth the shrapnel and concussive damage.”

And I couldn’t stand seeing someone of your caliber being railroaded into one of the most forced and hackneyed romances put to words. Sadly, Jimmy survived and he has to go rescue his damsel in distress.

Mui: “…. Run that by me again?”

*winces a bit* Yeah, you’re MIA and unable to escape so Jimmy is going to be the one-man-army to get you out of the spot you’re in.

Mui: “And I’m supposed to shag him in response for this?”

Hey, don’t look at me. I don’t write this shit. I just mock it and rip it apart. Let’s get started, shall we?

Read the rest of this entry »


2383: Talk Show of Pudding episode 2

Title:Talk Show of Pudding episode 2
Author: memyselfisesshy93 and Ghastlyme4
Media: Kitchen Sink / Anime
Topic: Kitchen Sink / Naruto
Genre: “Humor”/Parody
URL: Talk Show of Pudding episode 2
Critiqued by TacoMagic

It’s Wednesday so you know what that means, patrons!  Pudding time!

I’m so, so sorry.

But not sorry enough to not subject you to this.

Now, since there’s no continuity between episodes to speak of, we can just jump right into episode two without worrying about any kind of recap.  We’ll also skip the summary this week as all it says is, “This ep 2, Gaara is in,” but with more words.

Read the rest of this entry »