Standard greetings, Patrons!
I’m back with another chapter of what I’m foolishly hoping doesn’t turn out to be some sort of strangely specific fetish-fic – but it probably is because that’s the way my luck usually runs.
Last chapter there was much incontinence and teenagers acting like toddlers – because Humor!, I guess – and that was about it. It would be lovely if this chapter offered us more than literal toilet humor, but I’m not expecting much.
Warning: The following story is written by me, so I think that should be warning enough. Starfire: Actually I think you need to add some other stuff to that. Raven: Unless you wish to get sued for everything you own. Gary: What? My play station and my comic books? Oh and about 10 bucks on a good day?
This feels oddly familiar.
Beast boy: *sigh* Guess I’ll do the disclaimer.. Gary does not own Teen Titians, and frankly, that’s a good thing for us. Robin: This is just a fan fiction so nobody please sue him. Cyborg: Now Gary, back to that idea about me being king of the world. Rest of the titians: O_O Gary: How many time do I have to tell you, I’m not writing that! Any way, onto the story!
Wait just a damned second … :checks previous riffs: This is the intro for the first chapter!
:scrolls through fic:
This chapter begins with the text of the first two chapters!
Title: Subject 23: Cryonics
Author: The Eezoman
Media: Video Games
Topic: Mass Effect
URL: Subject 23: Cryonics: Chapter 5
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck
Hello folks, and welcome back to Subject 23: Cryonics! It’s time for more stupid with the world’s most epic Gary Stu!
And what will happen this time? Well, hopefully we’ll finally break this stupid fucking “can’t spit it out” bullshit that has been a hallmark of both these fics, right?
Let’s find out, shall we?
Title: Heroes and Villains
Author: Horrible’s Igor
Media: Television / Movies
Topic: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer / Kitchen Sink
URL: Heroes and Villains
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Eliza
Heyo, patrons! Welcome back to Heroes and Villains. As luck would have it, last week something actually happened! Somewhat. It was stupidly executed and mired in lots of unnecessary dialogue, but I’ll take it. I’ll hand it off to Eliza to elucidate.
“Elsa poisoned Buffy and Jimmy with a PCC chocolate cake!”
See! It was a thing! And it totally happened!
Otherwise, the first half of the chapter was relatively devoid of anything interesting.
“Other than Olaf secretly being Solid Snake and Sam Fischer rolled into one, bubbly package.”
Or maybe the villains are just every bit as incompetent as we think they are and Olaf is just bumbling around without them noticing.
“I like my version better.”
Good morning, everyone! Welcome back to “A Daughter.” Last time we met, Cellophane was sorted into Slytherin. That’s seriously the only thing that happened.
*sets the buzzer out on the desk*
This thing is up to 15 and we’re only starting the second chapter. It’s a bit longer than the previous installments, but a good chunk of today is just the lyrics to “Nights in White Satin”.
My apologies to The Moody Blues.
I literally have no idea what the hell I am riffing today. I really don’t.
I’ve read this entire fic twice and I honestly cannot say with any certainty what this is besides a troll/crackfic. That is the only reason I have for why anyone would cross Dora the Explorer – a children’s show about learning Spanish words alongside cute adventures involving sentient hiking equipment – with a story as intense and lore-heavy as The Lord of the Rings trilogy. This may be as weird as crossing Frozen with the Dead Space series. Or The Lion King with Star Wars and the events of World War II.
So… Let’s get this thing going, shall we?
Title: Sonic.exe/Round 2
Media: Video Game
Topic: Sonic the Hedgehog
URL: Trollpasta Wiki Rehost
Critiqued by Admiral Sakai and Nina
I hadn’t thought it possible, but JC-The-Hyena has somehow lost whatever miniscule iota of coherent thought he once possessed. If it weren’t for the fact that this has been confirmed to be the official sequel I’d never have reviewed it, on the ground that it was obviously the work of some extremely dedicated troll with a massive hateboner for the entire creepypasta genre who wanted it shamed off the Internet as quickly as possible.
“C’mon, how bad can it possibly be?”
You wouldn’t be asking that if you’d sat through the last one.