This Week’s Mass Murder Cancelled On Account Of Robots

We’re getting into proposal-writing season, which means that the project I am currently consulting for (a robot arm on a truck that paints traffic lines on streets) is kicking into high gear. This has left me with a little less time than I might otherwise have had to sort through and break up the (massive!) remaining section of Mass Effect: The First War. So it’s probably going to be another week or two before I get everything queued up.

In the meantime, here’s a segment our local TV station did on the project, a somewhat older video of an earlier generation of the robot, and a slightly more technical overview in a symposium given by my boss. Unfortunately a lot of the details of the project are still not formally published yet, but that is one of the things I am currently working on.

All of this material manages to capture on film, at one point or another, pretty much every single person working on the project, except for me.


2699: Creepypasta Pain and possibly the best pasta ever — Crappy(?) Pasta

Title: Creepypasta Pain
Author: I don’t know. Spooky.
Media: IRL
Topic: Some sort of cryptid or Eyeless Jack type creature or maybe a Jeff clone or something.
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: Rebranded Trollpasta Wiki rehost

Title: I Was a Library Experimentation
Author: kittywenham 
Media: Other Creepypasta
Topic: r/nosleep
Genre: Trollpasta
URL: Different rebranded Trollpasta Wiki rehost

Critiqued by: Admiralsakai and Guard-Novitiate Psk’nyor “Nina” C’hon

Hello hello all you patrons! Try not to wake your brother Anthony and smash any suspicious tapes you may encounter, because it’s the final Spooptacular post of the season once again!

“Hit it!”

Now, are you ready for some… Creepypasta PAIN?!

“…

Isn’t that just what we do every week anyway, though?”

Well, yeah, but this one is actually called “Creepypasta Pain”, and is a single giant textwall, and is written in a style eerily reminiscent of legolas by laura.

“…

Glub.”

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Eighth Annual Sucktastic Award Ceremonies

Hello, patrons, and welcome to the Eighth Annual Sucktastic Award Ceremony!  After a frenzied week of voting with the second-largest turnout we’ve had to date, the polls are now closed and we’re ready to announce the winners, if you can call them that.

Before we get started, I’d like to point out that we have no ties; something that hasn’t happened since 2014.  Thanks, everyone, for being so definitive!  And thanks to the authors as well for making our job of figuring out which of your fics sucks the most that much easier.

Anyway, let’s cut the pomp and get to what everyone is here for!

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Sunday Special: Batman 1939: The Dangers of Being Cold

Title: Batman 1939: The Dangers of Being Cold
Author: Stewart M
Media: Comic Book
Topic: Batman
Genre: Can’t find one (there was a fanfiction upload at one point, but that seems to have disappeared), so let’s call it Mystery/Adventure
URL: Here you go
Recommended by BatJamags

“Oh, Bats is doing a Sunday Special? He must’ve finally gotten through the Backlog of Doom?”

Yeah, no. We’ve still got three more Shadow Warriors chunks and three more fics (all of which are long as balls) to clear before that happens (not to mention any seasonal riffs I break all that up with), assuming I don’t get any further during that time. I just wanted to inject a little positivity into the proceedings before we… proceed.

So, my new tradition (which I actually came up with in September but like hell am I going to go back and screw over the scheduling of my riffs that are already done to implement it) is that I’m going to recommend a good fic between each of my bad fics. Until I run out of good fics, which won’t take overwhelmingly long because I don’t read all that much fanfiction outside of what I do for the Library. But I’m hoping this’ll motivate me to find some more good ones.

Today’s recommendation is a Batman fic because I’m kind of extremely predictable like that. The premise of the fic is that Batman’s first outing as Batman was his real-world publication date of May, 1939, though characters introduced much later like Slade Wilson and Amanda Waller are also featured. The plot concerns a string of corpse thefts escalating into murder, which Batman traces back to a military base outside of Gotham. He’s forced to recruit Catwoman to help him break in and figure out what the corpses are being used for.

It features fantastically intricate worldbuilding, excellent pacing, gripping tension, awesome fight scenes (but not too many), and Amanda Waller being hilariously badass as usual. Also, lots of cutesy little references to stuff (mostly stuff that’s actually relevant to DC continuity, and even the external references are still fairly on-topic), which you could view as a good or bad thing depending on your point of view and how many of them you catch.

There are two sequels. The first one, which wasn’t finished when I read it, is actually a Wonder Woman crossover, but I don’t remember the plot very clearly. I haven’t seen the third and most recent installment at all.

Overall, the original in particular is easily the best fanfic I’ve ever read, and I can’t recommend it enough. I’ll see you guys next time with a considerably less well-written Batman fic.

*SLAM!*


2134: Sly Cooper: Thief Of Virtue — Pages 266 through 285

— WARNING —
This is the point where the comic starts to veer into topics which cannot be properly addressed without major spoilers for the ending of the first Sly Cooper game. Also, Davidson starts leaning really hard on the ‘current events’ political button. Or at least what the current events were as of 2014.

Title: Sly Cooper: Thief Of Virtue
Author:ConnorDavidson
Media: Video Game
Topic: Sly Cooper
Genre: None Given
URL: DeviantArt Gallery Page
Critiqued by: AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Sly Cooper: Thief Of Virtue, which for the time being at least has resumed not being a porno.

Previously the Cooper Gang, Carmelita, and Ned all teamed up and parachuted into some unknown part of Africa in order to rob Colonel Zahn of his final share of the Cooper Loot. This actually went pretty well until Sly saw a second, green-colored Magical Mystery Crystal in Colonel Zahn’s vault and it made him freak out; and Zahn’s engineer used that ‘spike’ Weeb Thug planted way back in the Kre mission to blow up Bentley’s computer. We left off just as some of Zahn’s men were making a half-hearted attempt to kill Sly with a Gatling gun.

Oh yeah, and there was also some cop drama when a pushy, textwalling bureaucrat named Judge Bubo took it upon himself to upbraid Director Torus for ‘militarizing’ Interpol by equipping his rank-and-file officers with body armor, despite the fact that officers had just died because they didn’t have the firepower to go up against Captain Snow and Colonel Zahn (the current crime-boss-du-jour) is stockpiling guided missiles and tanks.

We resume the Zahn heist already in progress.

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