639: Twitanic: Blue Eyes – Chapter 4

Title: Twitanic: Blue Eyes
AuthorNeleh the eccentric girl
Media: Book / Movie
Topic:  Twilight/Titanic
Genre: Romance / Drama
URL:    Twitanic: Blue Eyes – Chapter 4
Critiqued by Ghostcat

Hello, dear Patrons!

Well, I’m here at what will hopefully be the halfway point (the fic is still active) for my newest Twitanic fic.

In the last chapter we took a delightful little spin around in Bella’s head that was, predictably,  much like being in Jack’s noggin. Via some vague conversation with the Cullens, we learned that Bella wants to spill the beans to Jack and Rose, because reasons, but everyone else is against this. Suddenly, and quite likely from behind, Jacob arrives with a plot device – Sam wants to kill Jack and Rose! Because reasons, obviously. Once this death threat against people they have no relationship with is revealed, the Cullens agree to let the two zombies in on their secret. Edward volunteers to tell Rose, which is probably what today’s chapter covers.

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638: Mass Effected – Chapter Four

Title: Mass Effected
Author: RockJumper
Media:  Video
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Sci-fi/Adventure
URL: Mass Effected: Chapter 4
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck and Gumdrop

Hello once again patrons, and welcome back to Mass Effected. It’s me and Gumdrop once again.

Gumdrop: More stupid name man?

You bet, Gumdrop.

G: Hope tangy dessert good.

Oh, don’t you worry about that, Gumdrop, I’ve got it. But for now, let’s continue, shall we?

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637: Raptor and I – Chapters Nineteen and Twenty

Title: Raptor and I
Author:
 Akashi.Cloud / ZincRae
Media: Movie
Topic:  Jurassic Park
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: Raptor and I: Chapter 19 and Chapter 20
Kriticted Bye: Krnkty an Toca

Please tell me you didn’t…

“Gumdrop said he could help and who am I to argue with an eight-ton Therapod?”

Great.  Have the ninjas had any luck hunting down our rogue Critique field?

“Not as such.  They did get a lead in France where it was spotting posing as a food journalist for Le Figaro.”

I think things have officially gotten strange.

“Well, something has to occur around here.  With so little happening in the fic, I think out critique field decided to pick up the slack.” Read the rest of this entry »


636: Twin Humanities – Chapter 18 & Chapter 19

Title: Twin Humanities
Author: max7238
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Dark Souls
Genre: Adventure Romance
URL:  Chapter 18 & Chapter 19
Critiqued by Erttheking

G:…Hello?  Anyone?  Just me?  Well then, this oughta be-

E:  No.

G:  Ah well, next time then.

C:  Sorry to burst your bubble.  CEG this week ladies and gents.  Nora and Woods are taking a crack at Stupard.  He hasn’t exactly been doing much to give in.

G:  That’s because you won’t let me torture him properly.  If I can just get one hour in with the tongs-

E:  Look, I don’t like the guy, but not liking a guy isn’t proper justifications for human rights violations.

G:  But he isn’t Human.  Think about it.

E:  Yes, he is human.  The lazy alien tag is just trying to trick us otherwise so that EP can try and fool us into thinking he did something original.

G:  I’ll get through to you yet.

E:  Sure, whatever. Read the rest of this entry »


635: Devil May Cry 4: Remake – Chapters Seven and Eight

Title: Devil May Cry 4: Remake
Author: LightBlueLightning
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Devil May Cry
Genre: Humor/Romance
URL: Chapters Seven and Eight
Critiqued by SC

Hello, and welcome back to Nemesis Of God Has Potential To Become Tearfully Saddened, The Fourth Book: Rebuilt!

Or, Devil May Cry 4: Remake, for those of you who think these titles are getting a bit too obscure.

I’m your host and guest-riffer, SC.

Simon: And “SC” stands for-

DON’T YOU DARE!

Simon: Eep!

Anyhow, I’m your host and guest-riffer, as I said, and we’ve got a long entry this week, folks, because chapters seven and eight are actually rather short – my riff, however, is not.

In the last chapter, Isis finally got what was coming to her, Ayla had her own moment of clothing porn and struck a deal of I-help-you-you-help-me with Vergil, before running off with Vergil to find Isis, and hey, Simon, are you bilingual?

Simon: That’s a trick question, right?

Nope!

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634: A Game to Beat – Chapter Two

Title: A Game to Beat
Author: DeAnonymousWriter
Media: Comics
Topic: Homestuck
Genre: Adventure/Humor
URL: A Game to Beat – Chapter Two
Critiqued by Silky

Welcome back, superlative patrons! After an exciting week of getting stuck in the snow and finding out that it’s a bad idea for me to donate blood, I’ve returned with another chapter of A Game to Beat! Here at the Library of the Damned, we’re committed to bringing you only the finest of execrable fanfiction, like a cat bringing you her prized hunting trophies. Aren’t you proud?

Without futher ado, here’s the second (and final) chapter of “A Game to Beat,” entitled “The Lisping Hacker.”

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633: The Legend of Korra: Journey to the Past – Chapters Two and Three

Title: The Legend of Korra: Journey to the Past
Author: Itachi’s-worse-nightmare
Media: Television
Topic:  Legend of Korra
Genre: Adventure
URL: Chapter Two and Three
Critiqued by Lord Tyrannus

Tyrannus: Hello patrons! I’m Lord Tyrannus.

Shepard: And I’m Joshua Shepard.

Tyrannus: And we’re here with another installment of The Legend of Korra: Journey to the Past. Boy, I’ve been looking forward to continuing THIS particular snarking. As such, I’ve already made sure that Shepard is familiar with the fic’s source material, so no need to worry there.

Shepard: And by that, Tyr means he sat me down in a chair and pretty much forced me to watch all three seasons of The Last Airbender and Book 1 of The Legend of Korra in four days.

Tyrannus: Hey, I just got the Avatar DVDs, and there was a copy of Book 1 of Korra lying around here at the Library. I figured “why waste the opportunity?”

Shepard: Fair enough. I’ll admit that while they’re not my usual fare, both series were pretty good.

Tyrannus: Your usual fare is Blasto: The Jellyfish Stings. Anything is pretty good compared to that.

Shepard: Hey, that vid is a work of art.

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