2189: A Strike Of Black Lightning — Oneshot

Title: A Strike of Black Lightning
Author: RustyKat
Media: Animation
Topic: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Genre: Romance, Dark, Adventure, Comedy, and Random because fimfiction doesn’t know when to goddamn quit.
URL: A Strike of Black Lightning
Critiqued by Serketry

Another year, another Halloween Spooptacular come and gone. Shattered lightbulbs need replacing, shitty Slenderbro and Killa Jeff magnet poetry needs sweeping up, millions of SON IS.exe cartidges need to be dumped in a landfill in the desert, and, above all else, gallons and gallons of hyper-realistic blood need to be-

moped.png

Morning, y’all, I’m Serketry, and it’s about time I kept scrubbing out the orphanage. That last work order turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself, so let’s keep at it, with A Strike of Black Lightning, by RustyKat. Y’know, cause any ol’ black lightning strike will do.

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2177: Slasher Oneshot Marathon!

Title: The texas chainsaw massacre: once again; The Real Texas Chainsaw Massacre; Halloween: Death Comes Calling; Fiery Passion; New masked killer; Murder from Scream
Author: doctorwhofan123456789; G.I. Joe Adventure Team; KLeslie; bloodyrose2014; Droids Boys; MeLoNa05
Media: Film
Topic: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre; The Texas Chainsaw Massacre; Halloween; A Nightmare on Elm Street; Scream; Scream
Genre: Horror / Drama; Crime / Horror; Horror / Romance; Romance / Horror; Horror / Drama; Horror / Poetry
URL: The texas chainsaw massacre: once againThe Real Texas Chainsaw MassacreHalloween: Death Comes CallingFiery PassionNew masked killerMurder from Scream
Critiqued by BatJamags (and Spider-Man)

A little game for the reader: By the end of the riff, guess which YouTube channel I’ve been watching a lot of recently.

Also, when I say “marathon,” I mean it. This is long, but I was having way too much fun to cut it down. Just thought I’d let you know ahead of time. Seriously, though, it’s about three times as long as my normal riffs.

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back.

There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to Man. It is a dimension as vast as the author’s note to My Inner Life, and as timesquiggly as My Immortal. It is the middle ground between light and Edgelord, between thermal radiation and BLUE; and it lies between the pit of a riffer’s fears and the summit of his anger. This is the dimension of bad horror oneshots. It is an area which we call… the Badfic Zone.

Respectfully submitted for your derision: A cavalcade of spooky, scary, and quite possibly skeletal oneshots from a wide selection of horror films!

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2175: Skyrim High School Halloween Special – Oneshot

Title: Skyrim High School Special
Author: Reenava
Media: Video Game
Topic: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Romance/Parody
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Spooky tidings, dear Patrons!

I’ve recently been playing a lot of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim – and getting killed by a lot by that damned frost troll near High Hrothgar, curse its many eyes – which made me think to myself; “You know what would be fun to riff? A Skyrim trollfic!”

And it is Halloween-themed, which works out well all around.

I’m fairly certain that this is a trollfic; the author has a whole collection of “high school” fics and every one I skimmed through was very similar to this one. Let’s take a look at the summary, which is a good way to judge the tone of a fic.

This is the Halloween special of skyrim high.

:glances at title:

You don’t say?

It is set during after Skyrim high. This is just a fun sotry about Halloween, i hope you enjoy it.

Ah. It’s a fic set both during and after an earlier fic written by the same author, making it doubly removed from the source materials.

Warning: do not read before youve read my other sotry, Skyrim High, or else you will reed spolers

I have read part of the first Skyrim High and it is only notable for the number if times “Totes” and “totally” are used. It is very much the written equivalent of Valley Girl speak.

Now, on the the fic!

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2170: Love Amidst The Blood – Chapter Three (FINALE)

Title: Love Amidst The Blood
Author: CalvinHobbesGatsby
Media: Video Game
Topic: Vampire: The Masquerade
Genre: Romance/Horror
URL: Chapter Three
Critiqued by SC

~TRIGGER WARNING: PROBABLY RACISM AND GANG VIOLENCE. EDGY AUTHOR CONTINUES BEING EDGY~

Hello, and welcome back to “Love Amidst The Blood,” by CalvinHobbesGatsby! I’m your host, SC, and last time, we met Barrett, a goffik girl who lives in a family of fundamentalist religious nutjobs and can’t stop thinking about vampires. Ever. It’s a little worrying, actually. Also, CalvinHobbesGatsby annoyed a fair portion of the comments section with their incredibly lackluster depiction of religious extremism, in particular due to how much it read like the author was just looking for an easy target to vilify, and more or less outed themselves as what I already had them pegged for: a dumbass edgelord.

Well, luckily, we won’t have to put up with this crap for very much longer, because this week is the final chapter, “Nines.”

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2164: The Aftermath – Oneshot

Title: The Aftermath
Author: FreddysNightmare1984
Media: Film
Topic: Night of the Living Dead
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Romance
URL: The Aftermath
Critiqued by BatJamags

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back again.

There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to Man. It is a dimension as vast as the author’s note to My Inner Life, and as timesquiggly as My Immortal. It is the middle ground between light and Edgelord, between thermal radiation and BLUE; and it lies between the pit of a riffer’s fears and the summit of his anger. This is the dimension of bad horror oneshots. It is an area which we call… the Badfic Zone.

Respectfully submitted for your derision: An international romance, sparked by a call to a wrong number. This may have also involved zombies at some point.

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2163: Love Amidst The Blood – Chapter Two

Title: Love Amidst The Blood
Author: CalvinHobbesGatsby
Media: Video Game
Topic: Vampire: The Masquerade
Genre: Romance/Horror
URL: Chapter Two
Critiqued by SC

~TRIGGER WARNING: DOMESTIC ABUSE, ALSO POORLY-DEPICTED FANATICISM~

Hello, and welcome back to “Love Amidst The Blood, by CalvinHobbesGatsby! I figure if Sakai and Bats are doing spooky intros, I should probably try and do a spooky intro myself, so, uh…

*SC dons a blanket with eyeholes cut out*

…Boo. There, you got spooked.

*SC throws off the blanket*

Alright, enough of that shit. Last time, we met London, resident edgelord vampire #1294483849506. London sat in a bar, drank water, stared at people, watched the Lakers lose against the Jazz, and then decided to leave. Shortly afterwards, London found a dude trying to rape a gal, and decided to save said gal’s life… by breaking the Masquerade no less than three times by mine and Taco’s combined count, perhaps more because he started crushing rapist dude’s fist right in front of the lady he then told to scramoose.

So as we await London’s impending doom at the hands of whoever currently runs the Masquerade in LA, let’s move on to the next chapter!

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2160: Haloween :D – Oneshot

Title: Haloween :D
Author:  Coffee-Addict-Ngh
Media: Video Game
Topic: The Legend of Zelda
Genre: Romance / Supernatural
URL: Haloween :D
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Retired Darth Lord Crunchy

“I despise you, Taco.”

You know the fic is going to be good if you’re this mad before we even get started.

“Why would you assume that I was angry?  Do I need a special reason to express my disdain of you?  As they say on the Hallmark channel, ‘Never miss an opportunity to tell the people in your life exactly what you think of them.'”

I’m absolutely sure they don’t phrase it like that.

“I shall maintain my interpretation as the superior one.”

Anywho, welcome back, patrons to the second in my holiday one-shot break.  This week I’m giving up on the meme of random holiday fic and instead bringing you what I would consider to be the pure essence of middle school distilled down into a Legend of Zelda Halloween Fanfic.

“Haloween.”

Pardon?

“The fic is spelled Haloween, not Halloween.  And there appears to be some kind of sideways face after it.”

I despise you, Crunchy.

“Another opportunity is captured.”

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