2031: The Right Partner – Chapters 14 and 15 (Finale)

Title: The Right Partner
Author: Justasmalltowngirl2713
Media: Film
Topic: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Romance/Adventure
URL: Chapter 14
Critiqued by BatJamags

Lousy Goddamn Stupid Blushing count: 15

Shits I Give count: -16

We Watched the Movie count: 12

Time is Not on my Side (No it’s Not) count:

Ahoy, ye Scurvy Swabs count: 3

You’re Not as Funny as you Think you Are count: 11

Hello once again, patrons, and Happy Mothers’ Day! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with one mother of a bad fanfiction the last chapter(s) of The Right Partner! And as soon as this adventure in generic Sueficcery is over, the idiot would normally be back with more of your regularly scheduled adventure in over-the-top edgery, but I’ve got something special lined up for you for next week.

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2026: THE PRINCESS BRIDE: LADY IN WAITING – Chapter Three, Part One

Title: THE PRINCESS BRIDE: LADY IN WAITING
Author: GaGa4FrightNight
Media: Movie
Topic: The Princess Bride (Movie Version)
Genre: Romance/Humor
URL:Chapter Three
Critiqued by Lyle

I have such mixed feelings about this fic.  On one hand, thank god it’s more coherent than Betrayal.  On the other hand, not this shit again.

The things I do for you, my lovelies.

Last time, Lina was good enough to take over the riffing of this fic for me.  This time, she told me to bugger off with a rusty spoon and threatened to shove a scone “somewhere entirely unpleasant” if I dared try to drag her into today’s riff.  So I hog-tied her with some Vampire-Proof Rope™.  Say hello to the readers, Lina.

Lina:  *tied to her chair, arms pinioned at her sides*  Fuck off, ya cunt.

Ooo, someone is testy today.  Why don’t you recap what happened in the last riff; it might make you feel better.

Lina:  *in a high, whining voice*  I hate pink!  I hate blue!  You’re all so stupid!

Yeah, that sound about right.

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2025: The Right Partner – Chapters 12 and 13

Title: The Right Partner
Author: Justasmalltowngirl2713
Media: Film
Topic: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Romance/Adventure
URL: Chapter 12
Critiqued by BatJamags

Lousy Goddamn Stupid Blushing count: 13

Shits I Give count: -8

We Watched the Movie count: 12

Time is Not on my Side (No it’s Not) count: 8

Ahoy, ye Scurvy Swabs count: 3

You’re Not as Funny as you Think you Are count: 10

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags, and-

Wait. Something’s not right. Let’s try that intro again.

Greetings, patrons. I am your new Supreme Overlord. Bow before me and my almighty Discount Mod Wand, for my word is law.

In layman’s terms, I am now officially a permanent riffer! Guest riffs will now share Monday with Lyle, and I’m taking over Sunday! And to top it off, tomorrow’s my birthday! Basically, what I’m saying is my week has been awesome.

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2024: Foreigners and Templars – Chapter Five, FINALE (for now)

SC’s Note: Friendly reminder, if you see any text highlighted like this, mouse over it to read the hidden footnotes. However, if you’re viewing this riff on mobile, unfortunately, the acronym tag doesn’t work in that format. Why is life so hard?

Additionally, if you see any black bars in the text, that’s me saving you the pain of reading a sentence of really, really shitty “elven” language. I suffered through it, so you don’t have to!

Title: Foreigners and Templars
Author: Light Sorcerer
Media: Video Game
Topic: Dragon Age
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter Five
Critiqued by SC, The Angriest Noblewoman in Thedas, Inquisitor Jacob “Jack” Trevelyan, and Janice Hawke

Anita: …Wait, so, Ostwick is ruled by a teyrn?

Jack: Yes it is.

Anita: Wouldn’t that then make it a teyrnir?

Jack: No. It is a city-state in the Free Marches. Teyrnirs are Ferelden territory.

Anita: But it’s ruled by a teyrn!

Jack: Yes.

Anita: So it’s a fucking teyrnir!

Jack: No.

Anita: I don’t fucking understand…

Janice: It’s a Free Marches thing, most people don’t understand. Myself among them.

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2022: The Right Partner – Chapters Ten and Eleven

Title: The Right Partner
Author: Justasmalltowngirl2713
Media: Film
Topic: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Romance/Adventure
URL: Chapter 10
Critiqued by BatJamags

Lousy Goddamn Stupid Blushing count: 11

Shits I Give count: 0

We Watched the Movie count: 12 [We’re past the movie’s plot, so I don’t anticipate many more ticks on this counter]

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags, and I’m back with another dose of boring shipfic! Yay.

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2019: Foreigners and Templars – Chapter Four

SC’s Note: Friendly reminder, if you see any text highlighted like this, mouse over it to read the hidden footnotes. However, if you’re viewing this riff on mobile, unfortunately, the acronym tag doesn’t work in that format. Feels bad, man.

Title: Foreigners and Templars
Author: Light Sorcerer
Media: Video Game
Topic: Dragon Age
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter Four
Critiqued by SC, Inquisitor Jacob “Jack” Trevelyan, and Janice Hawke

Hello, and welcome back to “Foreigners and Templars,” by Light Sorcerer! I’m your host, SC, joined again by Ser Jacob “Jack” Trevelyan of the Inquisition, and last time, we got to meet some templars, I dumped so much info that it could snuff out a sun, and all of a sudden, Light Sorcerer decided that rape jokes and attempted masturbation were things that needed to happen, as well as trying to speak Elvish (and failing) and completely misunderstanding how blood magic works.

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2017: The Right Partner – Chapters Eight and Nine

Title: The Right Partner
Author: Justasmalltowngirl2713
Media: Film
Topic: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Romance/Adventure
URL: Chapter 8
Critiqued by BatJamags

Lousy Goddamn Stupid Blushing count: 8

Shits I Give count: 0

We Watched the Movie count: 11

Hello once again, patrons! I’m back with another chapter or two of The Right Partner. Now that the fic’s run out of plot to regurgitate, I’m hopeful that something will happen, because I’m dumb like that. Let’s get started, shall we?

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