1831: Unknown Origins – Chapter One, Part Four

Title: Unknown Origins
Author: Cyberweasel89
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Adventure and Romance
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Angie and Hiraani
Rating: M

Welcome back to Unknown Origins, the fic that tries and tries but never succeeds. And…screw it, let’s just get through the prologue. There’s not a lot left to throw at me.

Oh, and uh. *reads notes* Dr. Mitchell is a worse doctor than I initially thought, it’s highly plausible this takes place in a post apocalyptic universe with all your favorite cartoon characters, and the AJB is still around saving the world.

Yay. Let’s move on.

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1830: Succubus – Chapter One

Title: Succubus
Author:
 GypsySiren
Media:
Video Game
Topic:
Skyrim
Genre:
Romance/Adventure
URL:
Chapter One
Critiqued by Leider Hosen

-Hosen walks into Riffing Chamber 7181B, now designated as his personal Riffing Chamber, as he forgot to remove the Heresy Counter from the desk when he last skedaddled, the eldritch plastic button soaking up the enmity of months of Badfic and welding itself to the desk, subsequently transmogrifying the room and a few adjoining closets into a personal sanctuary. The room is 900% more Goffic than it was before; the desk now made of ebony wood with antiquated brass lamps and fixtures overhead, the evil button proudly adorning the center with quills, inkwells, several arcane scrolls, and various odds and ends uniformly arranged on either side.

An old-timey Super 8mm projector hums from a loft near the ceiling as it inexplicably plays classic movies on a loop without human intervention. It casts flickering glows across memorabilia of the likes of Ed Wood, Robot Monster, and Monty Python on the walls, and the blue, gold, and black theater carpet-

Well this place is right fucked. Hello patrons! It’s me, Leider Hosen! Here with the very belated Skyrim Fic riff I teased in the yesteryears of six months ago!

Contain your non-existent excitement por favor.

Heresy Counter: [I am a cat… meow]

…Ok. Speaking of, yes I’m aware one of our intrepid interns, Tim, attempted to pry the Heresy Counter from its rest without proper protection and was cast into the 49th Circle of Super Hell, where all the Badfic characters go when their fic dies. I also know he’s stuck in a five way between Buster, Harker, Jenna, The Goblin King, and Edward-117, and only legolas and his gards have come to assist him.

At Hosen Inc, safety is number one priority. I just placed an order for someone to destroy them all the demons and got a hit within 30 seconds. For free!

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1817: Unknown Origins – Chapter One, Part Three

Title: Unknown Origins
Author: Cyberweasel89
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Adventure and Romance
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Angie
Rating: M

For swearing, nudity, sex, blood, and violence. Hey, it’s Vegas, baby.

And drugs and alcohol. Thanks Cyber.

LAST TIME ON UNKNOWN ORIGINS (ORIGINS, ORIGINS, ORIGINS)

*Angie holds up sock puppets* “Wow I bet our Mary Sue is Porky Pig.” “Wow, Dr. Mitchell sure is a pedophile.” “Wow, we’re actually playing Monopoly!”

And that’s what you missed on Unknown Origins. Let’s continue!

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1815: Adopted – Chapter Five, Part Two and Chapter Six

Title: Adopted
Author: Angie J Trifid (Tony Terrace)
Media: Movie
Topic: Jurassic Park
Genre: Friendship/Romance
URL: Adopted
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Eliza

Hey, patrons!  Welcome back to Adopted, this week we finally finish off this turkey!  And then hopefully we can get on to doing some wholesome, cleansing one-shots.

“What about the Raptor and I rewrite?”

Nope.

“But you prom-”

NOPE!  Recap!

“Last time the raptors hovered around Annie’s insensate body while waiting for the bruised rib to heal enough for her to regain consciousness.  Eventually she did wake up and quickly joined Fitz for some exposition of the previous chapter.  Other than a few more blobs of Nedry hate, that was pretty much it.”

Onwards to glory!

“You’re in a strange mood today.”

I had two hours of sleep last night and am already on my fourth coffee!  I added espresso to this one!  Let’s do this!

“Well okay then.”

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1807:Adopted – Chapter Five, Part One

Title: Adopted
Author: Angie J Trifid
Media: Movie
Topic: Jurassic Park
Genre: Friendship/Romance
URL: Adopted
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Eliza

Heyo, patrons!  Welcome back to Prehistoric Bestiality 3 Adopted.  If we split this chapter up, we’ve got just enough fic left for two installments.  So soon we’ll be free of Raptor and I forever!

“Until you do the rewrite.”

So basically forever!  So, what happened last time?

“Well, Fitz hurt his leg, Annie fixed it, Fitz and his sister baton-passed the point of view a bit to exposite his affection for Annie, and then Muldoon and nameless keeper twelve shot Fitz’s father.”

That feels like a lot of progress for one chapter, especially given that the first three chapters limped along like a wounded sloth.  I’d pretend to be surprised that the pacing is so inconsistent, but I won’t insult the intelligence of our patrons like that.  Instead, let’s get this party rolling!

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1805: Maya and Raider – Chapter Two

Title: Maya and Raider
Author: EclipsePheniox
Media: Video Game
Topic: Borderlands
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by Delta XIII

I already regret everything. Let’s just get this over with.

Oh, and as a side note, I’ll be counting the sins of each chapter separately and then tallying them up at the end, so the counter gets reset after each chapter. Though I will be starting the counter at 500 rather than zero, because A: I’m extremely petty, and B: this thing deserves every sin it can get.

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1804: Unknown Origins – Chapter One, Part Two

Title: Unknown Origins
Author: Cyberweasel89
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Adventure and Romance
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Angie
Rating: M

For swearing, nudity, sex, blood, and violence. Hey, it’s Vegas, baby.

And drugs and alcohol. Thanks Cyber.

Howdy, all! Welcome back to Unknown Origins. In case you forgot, last week we covered that someone doesn’t know what a final fuck you is, Angie doesn’t know the difference between Fallout and Vanilla Ice, and this fic covers such a wide variety of genres it’s shocking we haven’t crossed into the historical music category.

Without further ado, let’s continue on.

*record screech* Hold on a second.

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