Title: Task Force Ash
Media: Stu Stories
Topic: Call of Duty and Pokémon
Genre: Brain Bleach
URL: Chapter 7
Critiqued by Zeus, Svarti, Ramirez, and Judger
WARNING: The following riff, although edited, includes a chapter with a lemon. If you look into the original story, be prepared mentally.
*holo-recording starts up*
Zeus: Welcome to the fourth riff for TFA. Last time, Ash got his 141 buddies into Pokémon catching, where Price killed a few people and Roach got shipped with a Gardevoir
Judger: Thankfully, someone or something is after Ash for hurting their sister, so maybe there’s some hope yet.
It’s been about 5 minutes since the Major went into the ‘Poke-Hell’, and already the soldiers were feeling uneasy about it. When they went in, they each had a partner. While the Major went in alone. And, Ash had a rule for something like this. Never go in alone, and/or Never go in blind. Well it appears Ash just broke those rules, by going in alone and blind.
Judger: He likely set up the rules for the 141 members who weren’t familiar with Pokémon so as to not get startled. Actual trainers have a tendency to know what they’re doing.
Ramirez: Then again, it’s likely this is setting up for Ash to become a big badass.
Zeus: Cue the best character.
“Where is he?” Delia, Ash’s mother, questioned, while she and the others walked into the lobby.
“Where is who?” Royce asked back.
Svarti: Wait, where were these guys the last 3 chapters?
Judger: Funny you should mention that, as Price then asks how the group found them at all.
Ah, good! Yet another chapter of this tale from the Snore-derlands!
Are you not entertained?
‘Cause I’m sure as hell not!
Maya and Raider
(sever boredom ahead)
*walks into her office and plops down into her chair*
Okay, so it’s been a while since I’ve been in here. I should probably open some windows and air it out. And by I, I mean my interns. *picks up her phone and sends out a quick text*
While we wait for them to arrive, I’ll remind you all what happened last time since it’s been about mffglflelff months since I riffed something.
The author Logan Shaw has poorly written sex with anything that moves. Oh, and he’s a hybrid vampire/lycan. But that part isn’t really important because it would retract from all the sex he gets to have.
Happy New Year, dear Patrons! I hope everyone who celebrated is sufficiently recovered by now, because I have the last two chapters of fic to serve up.
In the first two chapters we were introduced to Emay, a formless nekomimi with a terrible case of Melodramatic Teenager Syndrome, who has just moved into a gigantic house with a pumpkin patch full of monsters and skeletons under the living room.
:flips through notes:
There was also a dumbwaiter involved, because reasons.
:flips through notes again:
That was basically it, I think. To the fic!
Title: Two Worlds Collide
Topic: A Christmas Carol
Genre: Romance / Sci-Fi
URL: Chapters 10, 11, 12, 13, and 14
Critiqued by BatJamags, Kane, and the Ghost of Riffing Guests Yet to Come
Dummarization count: 16
In this riff, Kane learns The True Meaning of Christmas™!
Kane: … Doubtful.
Uh… right. Anyway, hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back, with the Riffcave’s resident Scrooge, Kane, but not the Riffcave’s resident stooge, who was our guest last time.
Kane: I’m sure that line is the product of the previous week’s worth of intense concentration.
Humbug to you too, smartass.
The Ghost of Riffing Guests Yet to Come: Y’all aren’t very civil around here, are you?
Ah, it’s all in good fun. Right, Kane?
Kane: I despise you.
Anyway, this is our Ghost of Riffing Guests Yet to Come (GRGYC for short), also known as a random OC of mine who may or may not appear in some variety of original story in the future, and will probably show up in one of my superhero-related riffs at some point, because otherwise I’ve just created a time paradox. Say hi, Anna!
Anna: Hi, Ann- Wait, are we sure it’s OK for them to know my name?
Ah, they’re trustworthy.
Well, any given one of them is either trustworthy or incompetent.
For the most part.
Kane: A ringing endorsement.
Generic greetings, dear Patrons! I hope everyone has had a pleasant Winter Celebration Season. I have one more little fic that I thought I would pull out before the end of the year, because it is quite short. And also because it’s an absolute grammatical train-wreck.
Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?
This is for my sister so please no flames. Rating’s may change
Well, that was … terse. Now, on to the fic!
Co-Hi I’m doing this for my sis so please no flames.
I’m feeling a sense of something like I’ve seen this before.
…Do you mean ‘prologue’? Because you’re not even close.
And there’s a POV Tag. Awesome. This is already ticking a lot of boxes for me and we haven’t even gotten to the fic proper yet.
There is a place out their ware there are…. Seven doors.
Are these doors wares because they are for sale? Is Bats’ cleaning out his garage or something?
Title: 22: Heart Wearming Eve(Lilo Edition)
Media: Cartoon/TV Series
Topic: My Little Pony/Are You Afraid of the Dark/Mickey Mouse/Lilo & Stitch
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Elysium16 and Rimura
(Snow lightly swirls outside the Library windows, covering the ground in a soft blanket. Christmas lights shine through the mist, outlining the enormous building. And, within a small room in the Library—)
(The door bangs open, and Rimura storms in, covered in snow. Elysium follows, a smug smile on her face.)
Elysium: I won! Again!
Rimura: *yanks boot off and throws it across the room* I hate snowball fights!
Elysium: Aww, don’t feel too bad! You were going against like half the Library.
Rimura: And I had the other half on my side! How in Telina’s name did I lose?
Elysium: Maybe you just need to git gud, scrub.
…oh! We’re live!
Welcome back, patrons, to what is very obviously not Kirby: Welcome to Smash Bros!
Yes, I know, I promised that fic, buuuuuuut it’s the holidays, so I just decided “what the heck” and pulled up this! It’s…a thing.
Rimura: Well, that can only be an ill omen.
Elysium: Without further ado…uh, 22: Heart Wearming Eve(Lilo Edition).
Rimura: As can that.
Elysium: By mary.okeeffe.16. No relation to me.
Roll tape! *snaps fingers*