While this so-called horror story continues to resoundingly fail at being even remotely scary, it starts to hit pretty hard with the gross-out attempts in terms of blood and guts and also a bizarre focus on the actions of Rainbow Dash’s bladder.
Author: Sergeant Sprinkles
Topic: My Little Pony
Genre: Creepypasta / “Horror” / Torture Porn
URL: Creepypasta Wiki Rehost
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai and Serketry
Hello hello all you patrons! Inflate your favorite organs and sort your pegasus wings by color because we are back with more Cupcakes goodness.
Don’t you mean…
Hey y’all, Serketry here. Again. Until this fic is as dead as Rainbow Dash.
And, of course, by ‘goodness’ I mean ‘incredibly repetitive foreshadowing of incredibly repetitive torture porn’.
Last time, Pinkie Pie fed Rainbow Dash a drugged cupcake and tied her up in a torture chamber underneath Sugar Cube Corner. Much capering and posing with skulls ensued, but it was all pretty pointless. And…. that’s literally it.
EDITED BY EDINPONY COUNTER: 6
Dubiously sexual counter: 4
Fillertastic Special: AdmiralSakai and Serketry Riff Terrible MLP Fanart Episode III– Revenge of the ShitPosted: July 15, 2019
You should know the drill by now. There’s a lot of My Little Pony fanart out there, and most of it is terrible or has unpleasant implications or is just plain confusing, and so Serketry and I riffed it over Steam chat and then reformatted everything into a Library post.
Title: The Darkening of Equestria
Author: Shadow Stormblade
Topic: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Romance, Dark, Adventure, Mystery, (pauses for breath) and Thriller
URL: Entire ‘Fic
Critiqued by: Serketry
*Indiscriminate staticky sounds*
*TAP TAP TAP* Is this thing on? Hello? Alright, signal looks strong. Morning, y’all, I’m Serketry, and today I’m reporting in live from the Frozen North. My surviving broodmates and I are back at the old hatchery, celebrating our brood-elder’s 80th, and it’s quite the trip down memory lane.
I remember being taught the basics of engine maintenance, proper firearm safety, and how to operate an excavator- that very one, back there, half-buried in a ditch! Skills still I use to this very day. And before you ask, of course we have a basecamp set up monitoring the Crystal Empire, the love capitol of the world. The question isn’t ‘where are we hiding’, it’s ‘who have we already replaced.’
Well, a janitor’s work is never done, so let’s look at what we’ve got here… The Darkening of Equestria, by Shadow Stormblade. Oh, it’s a recent one, too! Early 2017, by the looks of it. Right after… Season 6…
The horror… The candy-coated horror…
Huh? What do you mean I’ve been sitting here for over an hour? Oh. Alright, moving on. Tags, tell us what we’re dealing wi-
Oh son of a fucking bitch. Wha- HOW?! This fic has, like, 1100 words! How do you fit so much shit into so little space?
In a dark, neglected broom closet, deep in the battle-scarred halls of RIFFCON, an irradiated corpse stirs to life. With a flash of green fire, its bullet-riddled carapace is replaced with a familiar utilitarian jumpsuit. Wordlessly, the janitor shuffles along, pushing his cleaning cart towards central command.
Spying a vacant terminal, he takes a seat an-
Morning y’all, I’m Serketry, and it’ll take more than Cpt. Argovigian’s shotgauntlet to the cranial plates to put me down. This place needs a good scrubbing… as does the orphanage. Let’s see…
Still Doll, by TwilightsChild. Looks like it’s from January 2015, a few months prior to the Season 5 premier… Oh! What have we here?
What’s that I don’t see? Could it be? No
romance clop Ikea furniture assembly?!? But, oof, crossover. Hope it’s noth-
After was crowned ‘Princess of Friendship’, Twilight continues to balance her role, her friends, and something missing in her head. She had a vision about a black hedgehog named Shadow, who was awaited with her arrival, and was also having a certain feeling that Twilight will never return to her dimension.
The fuck is this shit? Read the rest of this entry »
Title: By Griffin Law
Topic: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Genre: Romance, Drama, and “Dark” (but it’s actually just porn)
URL: Chapter 1 and Chapter 2
Critiqued by: Serketry and AdmiralSakai
The ‘fic under review today contains highly explicit and bizarre sexual content and… just… ick.
It’s a cold November day in RIFFCON, and the lone janitor makes his rounds, switching on consoles and turning up the thermostat. Seeing another opening…
Morning y’all, I’m Serk- wait…
Why isn’t this working?
*AdmiralSakai wanders out of another room in a bathrobe and Rainbow Dash slippers and promptly trips over some errant JPEG artifacts*
What’s all this?
Dammit, I’m snopping wrong. Morning, sir.
And a fine morning to you as well!
It won’t be for long, we got another orphan on the scopes.
*Sees that it is By Griffin Law*
You had to go and pick this one, didn’t you?
I’m just working down the list.
Yeah, full disclosure, I’ve read this thing cover to cover already, and… well, I won’t say it’s my least favorite clopfic, although I’m not really sure what my least favorite clopfic is since the stories I hate the most aren’t clearly for porn but rather grimdark or edgy ‘fics with a lot of sexual content in them, but…
So it’s tied for least favorite?
Yeah let’s just go with that.
[We’re trying to get back into the swing of putting up filler posts on off-days. Lyle will be back shortly, but for the moment we’re still working on formatting everybody’s guest riffs and we’ve got nothing for today, so here’s something that’s been in the drafts folder for a while. – BatJamags]
Hello hello all you patrons! If you’re seeing this, it means that one of the other Librarians (probably some disorganized sod who doesn’t schedule their riffs two weeks to a year in advance) has nothing to present today, so instead you are getting the highlights (or lowlights, depending on your point of view) of Serketry’s and my nightly chatlogs riffing pretty-much-randomly-assorted My Little Pony fanart, edited and reformatted for clarity.
Title: Friendship Is Magic: The Covenant War
Media: Video Game / Cartoon
Topic: Halo / My Little Pony
Genre: Adventure / Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 5
Critiqued by: AdmiralSakai and Serketry
Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to the final installment of Friendship, When You Get Right Down To It, Really Isn’t Good For Much Of Anything At All: The Covenant War.
Previously a whole lot of actual military shit went down, and none of it quite made sense. The Covenant assault on Baltimare bogged down into street-to-street urban fighting against suddenly competent ponies, Thel ‘Va(n)damee gave into the Overpowring Force Of Emo and spared a bunch of schoolfillies hiding in a fashion academy (while ordering his troops to kill many more ponies in another area to give them a chance to escape), and then the scene ended with pony forces simultaneously buckling and rallying in a really geographically confusing bit involving the detonation of multiple bridges or something.
And, as always, any actually cool stuff to see happened out of narrative focus.
We also paid a visit to the Celestia Line, where Shining Armor seemed to be holding his own against the Covenant forces save for the pressure of running out of extra supplies. A message arrived along with a train chock-full of extra supplies telling him he was not able to hold the line and was unfit for command, resulting in the promotion of some OC called General Neighal who is basically Prince Blueblood in a nicer suit and with none of the actual character depth in his place.
We resume Chapter 5 already in progress.