1745: Fall to Equestria – Chapters Nine, Ten, and Eleven

Title: Fall to Equestria
Author: doomboom1234
Media: Television/Cartoon
Topic: My Little Pony: FIM
Genre: Sex/Comedy/Human/Random/Romance
URL:  Chapter Seven
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai and Serketry

Hello hello all  you patrons!

Last time on Fall to Equestria, Twilight sprouted labia, used the narrator… protagonist… thing… as a sex aid, and Celestia stepped on Luna’s turf by invading his dreams. Then he traded a few more sexual favours for a job at the Ponyville Day Spa, which he keeps calling the Bridle Gossip for some asinine reason. We left as one of the Spa Sisters was just about to collect on her end of the deal.

Bad Touch Counter: 25

In a bit of a non sequitur, Chapter Eight is entitled “Celestia who?”

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1739: Fall to Equestria – Chapters Seven and Eight

Title: Fall to Equestria
Author: doomboom1234
Media: Television/Cartoon
Topic: My Little Pony: FIM
Genre: Sex/Comedy/Human/Random/Romance
URL:  Chapter Seven
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai and Serketry

-WARNING-

The following chapters mention the private parts of ponies. That is all.

Hello hello all you patrons!

Howdy.

Last time on Fall to Equestria, our wonderful protagonist Loser Martin attended a welcome-to-Equestria party held in his honor by Pinkie Pie. There he encountered Lyra Heartstrings and wasted no time in… jerking her off in public, getting a face full of magical horn ejaculate (!) for his trouble. After making out with Pinkie Pie (thereby getting himself covered in saliva and unijizz) and being felt up by a bunch of other random ponies-

-and losing his dickshirt in the process-

-he made the entirely sensible decision to leave that cauldron of insanity only to encounter the one and only Princess Luna.

Sadly, that does not mean the entire ‘fic up to this point has been a nightmare.

Lest she’d banish it from existence.

Bad touch counter: 16

We resume with a whole lot of nothing in Chapter Seven, ‘The midnight walk’.

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1733: Fall to Equestria – Chapters Five and Six

Title: Fall to Equestria
Author: doomboom1234
Media: Television/Cartoon
Topic: My Little Pony: FIM
Genre: Sex/Comedy/Human/Random/Romance
URL:  Chapter Five
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai and Serketry

-WARNING-

After faffing around for close to five thousand words, this chapter of the so-called “Sex” ‘fic does indeed contain a money shot. Featuring technicolor horses. You have been warned.

Hello hello, all you patrons!

I’m back with some more of Fall to Equestria, the story of Loser Martin’s quest to inappropriately touch the entire primary cast of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Last time, they had a meet-and-greet about human culture at the Golden Oaks library where it was revealed that six capable and intelligent mares had no idea what the word ‘omnivore’ means, the main character traded in his tragic past for a dickshirt, and Rarity got off.

While Spike watched in envy.

Which, alarmingly, was the most in-character thing to have happened.

It makes just as much sense in context.

Bad Touch Counter: 8

All of that, of course, brings us to Chapters Five and Six, “the party” parts one and two.

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1727: Fall to Equestria – Chapters Three and Four

Title: Fall to Equestria
Author: doomboom1234
Media: Television/Cartoon
Topic: My Little Pony: FIM
Genre: Sex/Comedy/Human/Random/Romance
URL:  Chapter Three
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai and Serketry

Hello hello, all you patrons!

Welcome back once again to Fall to Equestria. Last time we were introduced to Loser Martin, a bog-standard Sensitive Stu who was promptly shitted into Equestira, mauled to within an inch of his life by a ‘manticor’, and nursed back to health by Fluttershy and Twilight. As we left off, he was being introduced to the entirety of the Mane Six, and was getting right down to business in the form of setting the Bad Touch Counter to a very respectable 6.

Chapter Three is entitled ‘story time part 1’, which has me worried the ‘fic is going to start recursing.

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1717: Fall to Equestria – Chapters One and Two

Title: Fall to Equestria
Author: doomboom1234
Media: Television/Cartoon
Topic: My Little Pony: FIM
Genre: Sex/Comedy/Human/Random/Romance
URL:  Chapter One
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai and Serketry

Hello hello, all you patrons!

I was getting the feeling once again that these hallowed  halls of literature were alarmingly devoid of technicolor horses, so I’ve decided to grace you with another story excreted straight from the bowels of fimfiction.net. With me today is not another character but my IRL friend Serketry! He’s the coauthor of Palaven’s Dogs, the only player in my Call of Cthulhu games to be anywhere near reliable, and just in general the perfect partner in crime.

Howdy, everyone!

I was going to do something related to the execrable “Fall of Equestria” AU

-*gurgles*-

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1555: MLP Jurassic Equestria – One Shot

Title: MLP Jurassic Equestria
Author:  RedlinRanger
Media: Television / Movies
Topic: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic / Jurassic Park
Genre: Drama / Horror
URL: MLP Jurassic Equestria
Critiqued by Darth Overlord (Retired) Crunchy

*Crunchy stalks into the room and peers around*

I suppose it was too much to hope that he was hiding in here.  No matter, let us see what the girls have picked out for me.  Hmm, “MLP Jurassic Equestia.”

Obviously I was unkind to something in a past life.   Which is entirely likely as I have been unkind to a great many in this one.

Hello, gentle patrons, you might notice that Taco is conspicuously absent this week.  After fleeing from the scene of last week’s riff, he managed to give the Darkwraiths the slip and is very likely hiding in one of the sub-levels.  Since not even I know how many of those we have down there, it could be quite some time before they find him. He seems quite dedicated to not being found because announcing a free donut and coffee hour at Lina’s shack did not flush him into the open.

It is equally likely that he’s off gallivanting through time with Doc Brown again.  Such things happen around here.  As for why I am sitting in this week, well, the girls made a deal that I would not have to help with the search efforts if I took over in here for the week.

We shall see if that turned out to be a wise choice on my part.  There appears to be a note here from Eliza, so we should start there.

“Hi!  We found this fic while cruising for something you could do.  It’s actually a remake of an older fic called My Little Pony: Jurassic World.  The older fic is indeed much worse, but also a lot shorter, so we sent you the newer version!”

Charming.  Oh well, there is a summary, so we might as well get an idea of what we are in for.

Twilight and her friend and now on a new adventure to on the island Isla Nublar where they go in jurassic world a theme park 65 million years in the making on the way they meet new faces like owen gredy and Claire Dearing.

Hsssssssssssss!  The grammar burns us!

I can see already that this is based on the most recent addition to the Jurassic Park franchise, so I imagine the author will not be able to resist making a wide array of references to the various bits of internet “humor” that have cropped up in the wake of the movie.  Imagine my delight at that particular prospect.

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1470: My Little Unicorn: Magic is Believing (That still means nothing) Chapter 26

Title: My Little Unicorn:  Magic Is Believing
Author: Dakari-King Mykan
Media: Cartoon
Topic: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL:  None
Critiqued by Erttheking

Nora: Ert, I think the internet had a seizure.

Ert: Well i’ll be damned. The copy of My Little Unicorn that was on fim.net get deleted. Why? Can’t say. Well this is certainly giving me something resembling closure. Maybe I’ll be able to sleep at night during this.

Cornelia: Just one more, eh Ert?

Ert: Yeah, let’s get it over with.

Final Part: The True magic

Ert: WAIT! DON’T TELL ME! Is it believing? It’s believing isn’t it?

Nora: Nah, it’s “Friendship”

With Night Mare gone, all the Equestrians were free from their chains, but all were just gazing up at those large eyes in the sky.

Nora: Thanks guys. As always you’ve been a big help.

Ert: Once again Mykan seems to think that countries are one mile in diameter if he thinks that Nightmare Moon chaining up everyone and everyone seeing TotallyNotTitan!Thing in the sky is a reasonable thing to write.

Some of the little ones were hiding behind their elders.

Cornelia: And the writing got really odd there for a second. Like Mykan was trying to sound whimsical. And failing.

“Who are you?” asked Celestia.

The voice behind the eyes explained, “I am the one who has been observing you all for some time now- Watching you all as you took on those evil creatures that came your way, and bolding revealing every last bit of your magical skills and powers. Now I have all that I require.”

Ert: JUST SAY TITAN! You overly dramatic prick. No one is fooled, we all knew that you were coming back.

Nora: Mainly because Mykan spelled it out for us, assuming that we’re as dumb as he is.

Lightning gasped “That voice…! I didn’t want to believe it…” he said. His eyes narrowed, and he poised his hoof up high, “…Titan!”

Ert: NO SHIT SHERLOCK!

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