2125: For the Heart of the Sea – Chapters 5 & 6

Title: For the Heart of the Sea
Author: RiverStyx1201
Media: Video Game
Topic: Five Nights at Freddy’s
Genre: none given
URL:  Chapter 5
URL: Chapter 6
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another pair of chapters!

We had a big revelation in the last chunk – our little Glowstick is actually a demigoddess, daughter of Sekhmet and some rando nameless dude. This is why Glowstick suddenly has the ability to grow cat ears and a tail. Because there’s no easier way to explain that, I guess.

Angela sighed as she tried her best not to fall asleep in her Economics class. She probably should’ve been doing her work but she couldn’t get her mind off of her’s and Foxy’s performance today. She had the best idea and she couldn’t wait to share it with him.

She’s probably tired because she’s working two jobs, one of them lasting until six in the morning.

“Angela,” the teacher said as he stopped by her desk. “Can you tell the class what the gold system is, or have you been doodling in your binder this entire time.”

I assume that means Glowstick has been doodling in her binder and not paying attention in class, which is a reoccurring theme in Sue-heavy fics. They never pay attention in class because they are so very smart and know everything already.

Angela looked up at Mr. Head and prevented herself from laughing at his unfortunate name, seeing as his full name was Richard Head.

That’s a really random thought to be having in class. Presumably this isn’t the first class she’s had with Mr. Head; does she feel the need to constantly remind herself that she’s not thinking about how humorous his name is? And do most students these days even know their teachers’ first names?

“It’s where the money is backed by gold that the country has,” she said in a bored tone as she returned to her drawing of Foxy and her on stage.

That’s kind of right; it’s called the gold standard, not the gold system, and it is a monetary system where the currency units are based on a fixed amount of gold. When the US was on the gold standard, the bills were labeled “gold certificates”; you could technically walk into a bank and redeem them for a set amount of actual gold coinage if you were so inclined.

He glared at her before returning to the front of the classroom to continue his lecture. “Correct. Now…” Angela tuned him out and continued thinking over the costume she had planned.

Does this have an actual point, or is it just in the fic to make Glowstick look smart?

“Do you need help with it,” her Aunt Ma’at asked in her mind as she appeared next to her as an astral projection.

Because both astral projection and telepathy are suddenly things that exist in the FNAF universe. Sure, why not?

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2124: Broken – Oneshot

Title: Broken
Author: KZMaster
Media: Shared RP Universe (No Longer Considered Canon)
Topic: UFFL/FBA
Genre: Um… Hurt/Comfort/Family?
URL: Broken – Oneshot
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

WARNING: The fic being snarked contains references to domestic abuse. People who are sensitive to such a subject may wish to exercise caution when reading this snarking.

Well, folks, here it is. Coby Carson come to the Library of the Damned.

Yeah, believe it or not, Coby Carson didn’t just stay a Twitter RP exclusive: every once in a blue moon, there was a story that came out about his antics. (And yes, I do mean “every once in a blue moon”. It undercuts a lot of KZ’s whining about how he contributed so much to the FBA community when you consider I produced more story for just Agundio’s rookie year than he did across Coby Carson’s entire run in the UFFL, so…) Today, we’re going to go with the story that ultimately ended up being the punctuation of Coby Carson’s general character arc. Or rather, the character arc that was hastily conceived and patched together because hey, turns out you can’t just play the same “loudmouth idiot” routine fifty-two times in the same year and expect people to stick around, right?

Yeah, consider me extra salty right now. Let’s dive right in, shall we?

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2123: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Eight, Part Two

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Welcome back to The True Force, the fic with thus far vanishingly little Force.  Or trueness.  I’m sure it tried to find a way to have very little “the” but I’m not even sure what that would be like.  Maybe write a fic without the word “the” in it?  That would be awkward as hell, so I’m sure somebody’s tried it.

Anyway, last time we were treated to the first part of the Yabu-Yabu dungeon.  It didn’t really deviate from the standard playthrough beyond making Ruto extra snobby and Navi blessedly silent, so there’s not much to actually recap this week.

Let’s head on in to our chapter already in progress.

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2122: Sly Cooper: Thief Of Virtue — Pages 194 through 238

— WARNING —

Yeah, this is another comic featuring Lady Venom, so expect more snaketits and Weird Shit being portrayed in an uncomfortably sexual light. And also potential flamebait in more of this MRA-style “nice guy” bullshit. And my comparing the comic to racist cartoons.

Title: Sly Cooper: Thief Of Virtue
Author:ConnorDavidson
Media: Video Game
Topic: Sly Cooper
Genre: None Given
URL: DeviantArt Gallery Page
Critiqued by: AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Sly Cooper: Thief of Virtue, which was doing so well at not being a porno.

Ok, well, really it wasn’t, but compared to where it’s going

Anyway, last time Carmelita and Ned got invited to a giant party Lady Venom was throwing at her villa in the Amazon, at exactly the same time the Cooper Gang was heading there to make Venom their next target. Sly infiltrated the party (because apparently nobody actually needs an invitation or even a photo ID to get into one of those things) while Bentley and Murray reconnoitered a nearby logging plant run by a secret associate of Venom’s, the sumptuously-dressed “Mr. Indigo”. If this is sounding like an actual heist of some sort you are sadly mistaken, as the whole factory thing turned out to be pretty pointless and the entire party was spent with Ned whining to Lady Venom, Fox Obnoxious, and Lil Dicky Isosporiasis about his inability to screw romantically confess his romantic feelings of romance to Carmelita.

Also, Lady Venom ate a reporter. And possibly a sandwich.

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2121: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 16

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 16
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags and BadJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, GoodJamags…

BadJamags: I hope you choke on your own spit and die.

And he’s your usual host and current guest host, BadJamags, and we’re here with more of the Shadow Warriors! Now, before we get started, here’s your chapterly news briefing:

Opener

Thank you, Anne.

Chapter 16: Ghost From The Past

Ooooooooh, a ghoooooooost! This is 2spooky4me!

BadJamags: It’s going to be a long day, isn’t it?

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2120: FNG – Chapter One, Part One

Title: FNG
Author: Richie23
Media: Video Game
Topic: Rainbow Six: Siege
Genre: Suspense/Adventure
URL: Character Bios
Critiqued by SC and Operative SC

Hello, and welcome back to the Library of the Damned! I’m your host, SC, and I’m here with a new riff – and this one, if I’m not mistaken, is our very first foray into Rainbow Six!

Y’all know what that means.

Rainbow Six is a series of tactical shooter games developed and published for just about every major console of the last two decades by Ubisoft (back before they became obsessed with open world sandbox games that have way too fucking many collectibles) and Red Storm Entertainment, born from a novel by the same name written in August 1998 by Tom Clancy. The first Rainbow Six game was adapted from the novel in the same month, and between then and 2015, there have been a metric assload of games – the full list is Rainbow Six, Rainbow Six: Rogue Spear, Rainbow Six: Take-Down – Missions in Korea (South Korea release only), Rainbow Six: Lone Wolf, Rainbow Six 3: Raven Shield, Rainbow Six: Lockdown, Rainbow Six: Critical Hour, Rainbow Six: Vegas, Rainbow Six: Vegas 2, Rainbow Six: Shadow Vanguard (mobile release only), and Rainbow Six: Siege, the most recent game in the series. The original game had an expansion pack called Eagle Watch, Rogue Spear and Raven Shield have had a heap of expansion packs (respectively: Urban Operations, Covert Ops Essentials and Black Thorn for Rogue Spear, Athena Sword, Black Arrow and Iron Wrath for Raven Shield), and there was a canceled game called Rainbow Six: Patriots. However, the mainline games are only Rainbow Six, Rogue Spear, Lone Wolf, Raven Shield, Lockdown, Critical Hour, Vegas/Vegas 2, and Siege. Every other game is either a standalone or, as mentioned, an expansion pack.

The basic premise of the Rainbow Six series is as follows:

A terrorist organization decides that they want to do a thing, and as is the norm, it’s not great. Planned assassinations of major political figures, large-scale coups, hostage scenarios, nuclear threat, biochemical weapons development, you know how it goes. Due to these terrorists hiding among civilians, usually in non-warzone countries, sending in the military is a no-go, so instead, a multinational counter-terrorism task force known as Rainbow is called upon to investigate and hunt down the perpetrators before they can cause harm.

In Siege, however, the story is a little bit different – Rainbow has been deactivated since 2010, and terrorist groups have been springing up all over the place. Most notable among them is a group known as the White Masks, who attack anywhere and everywhere indiscriminately, with their ultimate objectives unknown. Finally, a woman codenamed “Six” decides, “enough of this shit,” and reactivates Rainbow, recruiting operators from all over the world, from several different agencies, to try and curb the White Masks’ chaos.

I do have some experience with the Rainbow Six series – I’ve played vanilla Rogue Spear and Raven Shield on PC, and have plans to try my hand at the Vegas games at some point – but since this fic is about Siege, I’m walking in blind, save for the basics, so everything I infodump here is going to be ripped straight from a wiki.

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2119: For the Heart of the Sea – Chapters 3 & 4

Title: For the Heart of the Sea
Author: RiverStyx1201
Media: Video Game
Topic: Five Nights at Freddy’s
Genre: none given
URL:  Chapter 3
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another pair of chapters!

In our last little slice we were introduced to Glowstick (AKA Angela) who is about ten pounds of Sue shoved into a five-pound sack. Of course, one of the canon characters (Foxy) is crushing hard on her instead of crushing her hard with his occasionally animatronic hands. There’s also been a few heavy hints that Glowstick is even more special than she appears, so that’s probably going to get even worse.

Yay.

Foxy watched Angela perform while the mechanic fixed him up.

Because it is completely plausible that someone would carry out extensive (and probably very noisy) repairs on a piece of easily moved machinery in the restaurant rather than taking Foxy to some sort of repair shop where the mechanic would have better access to tools and parts.

He watched as she skillfully moved around the stage while playing her instrument, wishing that he could be up there with her.

I don’t really have a lot of experience in the area, but I don’t know of many musicians who play a violin and dance around at the same time. It would probably make both of those things more difficult.

She finished her performance and went to the office to take a nap before her shift tonight.

Based on the last chapter, she probably played one song and then went and slept for seven hours. That’s not really how jobs work.

Foxy sighed internally as the mechanic finished fixing him and shut the panel on his back and left.

I bet the mechanic just flipped a switch from “BROKEN” to “FIXED” and is going to charge several hundred for doing so.

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