2361: Diary of an Outsider – Chapter 1

 

Author: IMakeBadPuns
Media: Video Game
Topic:  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another short little fic I found while wandering Skyrim’s section of ff.net. It’s not a crossover with anything, but it does have “diary” in the title which usually indicates a transcription of a character’s gameplay. Let’s check out the summary!

This is a set of diary entries following one of my Skyrim characters, a female Bosmer named Eira Bowmaster. I honestly have no idea where I’m going with this, but I feel like Eira might form strong friendships (maybe more) with Lydia, Aela and a couple more characters. We’ll just have to see where this goes. Rated T, might change back to M if it gets too violent.

I’m inferring a couple of things from this; this is the author transcribing their gameplay, probably as they go and without planning out any sort of coherent narrative, but they might want to add in some yuri bits and/or fanservice featuring a few of the female characters from the game or just want to make it seem that way as a kind of clickbait.

Read the rest of this entry »


2355: Game of Thrones and Dragons – Chapter 1

 

Author: ArtAddictedArchitect
Media: TV Series/Book/Video Game
Topic:  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim/Game of Thrones
Genre: none given
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another single chapter and possible oneshot from the Skyrim/GoT crossover section! The fic is only a few months old and hasn’t had any updates, but is described as a “power wank fic” in the author’s bio, so they may add to it when they feel like stroking their SI some more.

It … It gets bad. Really bad. You should go get a headdesking pillow now to avoid the line.

:brief pillow pause:

Everyone prepped and ready? Great! Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?

SI insert into game of thrones as the Dragonborn

Well, that’s certainly … succinct.

I woke up to a slow gradual bumping with a headache.

Urgh. I don’t remember drinking last night.

I’m not really a big drinker, but I don’t think hangovers are usually accompanied by bumping sensations.

The last thing I remember was booting up the PC, getting ready to play a heavily modded version of Skyrim.

That probably describes every PC version of Skyrim – Why run vanilla when the Nexus is a thing that exists? – but what kind of mods? There’s a lot of weird stuff under that umbrella. Are we talking “Every dragon is now Thomas the Dank Engine” and there’s tits on the side of the Blue Palace or do you have so many ENBs and graphical enhancements running you have to keep a fire extinguisher trained on your GPU at all times?

Did I fall asleep gaming? I am sitting up so there’s that.

Why would that be an option? Wouldn’t gaming tend to keep you awake, since you’re presumably focused on a particular task?

But things didn’t add up. Why would I be in a rocking upright position if I fell asleep in my apartment?

Do you own a rocking chair?

Read the rest of this entry »


2350: What is the music of life? – Oneshot

 

Author: Cyricist001
Media: TV Series/Book/Video Game
Topic:  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim/Game of Thrones
Genre: none given
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another oneshot! This one is a ‘true’ oneshot in that there’s just one chapter and it is listed as completed. Also, it’s another Skyrim crossover!

It’s also a Skyrim/Game of Thrones crossover, which actually sounds like a fairly plausible concept to me.  We haven’t had a Game of Thrones (or A Song of Ice and Fire, which is the book series the show is based on) before, but I’m fairly confident that most people with Internet access are aware that Game of Thrones is a thing which exists. I’m not going to give a massive SC-style info-dump for this fic because an info-dump for GoT/ASoIaF would stretch for many, many pages, but I’ll try to cover any relevant information as it is needed. It should go without saying that there are major spoilers ahead.

Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?

What happens when mages blunder.

If the mage in question is a overly confident Khajiit named J’Zargo, then what happens is that you repeatedly set yourself on fire while trying out his “improved” Flame Cloak scrolls.

Vigdis watched as the Unsullied patrol passed her hiding spot and marched down the narrow street. The ‘Mother of Dragons’ certanly tightened the security in Meereen after the Sons of the Harpy started their murder spree.

Okay, time for some info-dumping.

Read the rest of this entry »


2344: The Big Four’s Adventures on Tamriel – Chapters 1- 4

 

Author: speedster101
Media: Movie/Video Game
Topic:  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim/Tangled
Genre: Adventure/Fantasy
URL: Chapter 1
URL: Chapter 2
URL: Chapter 3
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another possible oneshot!

You might be asking yourself, hypothetical Patron, “Can a fic with four chapters be considered a oneshot?” It can when the first chapters are only a few hundred words long, and the other two are Author’s Notes begging readers to submit ideas. Also, the fic hasn’t had any updates since 2016 and has likely been abandoned because no one wanted to do the author’s job for them and/or try to make sense out of this dumpster fire.

Buckle up, buttercup – this is going to be a rough ride.

And not only is this one of those fics, but it’s a Skyrim crossover! Crossed over with what? Technically it’s listed as a crossover with Tangled, but in truth it is one of those crossovers with the massive multi-fandom conglomeration that is Rise of the Big Hero Brave Frozen Tangled Dragons, or whatever it is called these days. If you’ve never heard of this phenomenon, basically authors will pull characters from nearly every CGI animated movie and shove them into a fic, often set in a different universe so the don’t have to bother reconciling the many different canons. High school AU fics are very popular.

Now, on to the fic summary!

Pitch Black and the negatives are back and they got some new allies strong to and only one can stop the three newcomers from taking over Tamirel but he’ll need help with the ones know as Pitch Black and the Negatives with help from ones known as the big four join Marcus the Dragonborn and The four as they travel across Tamirel to stop Pitch and the negatives.

:gasps for breath:

That is all one sentence, my Patrons. Get used to that; this author treats punctuation as if it was crafted of priceless jewels.

Read the rest of this entry »


2338: The Alphas Daughter – Chapters 1 & 2

Author: britbailey87
Media: Movie/Book
Topic:  Jurassic Park/World
Genre: Romance/Humor
URL: Chapter 1
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons!

As has become my custom lately, I’ve decided to clear out a few short fics and/or oneshots before starting on something longer. This particular fic is just two short chapters; there’s been no activity on the fic since early 2018 so it possibly has been abandoned, but then again we’ve seen authors go longer stretches between updates before. It’s also from the Jurassic Park/World canon, but this time I’ve picked a fic that doesn’t contain human/raptor hybrids or sparklepires. Probably. It’s been a while since I skimmed through it.

To the fic!

I was outside working on my dirt bike my dad got me to drive around on.

Your dad bought you a broken dirt bike? I guess he really doesn’t want to to “ride around” all that much.

The stupid thing kept stalling. I would have to go to the main park to get the stuff i need to fix it.

Because parks are well-known for stocking spare parts for crotch-rockets.

I looked up when i heard the door to the bungalow open.

…Is Nameless fixing their bike inside a house?

“Morning sweetheart.” my dad said as he walked down the steps and kissed me on the head. “Morning dad. Did you see breakfast on the counter?” he nodded and sat down in front of his own bike. “I did. Thank you.” i mumbled a quiet your welcome. He had a late night last night with the girls. They’ve been moody lately. Usually when he’s up super late he has a headache when he wakes up.

Are we eventually going to get some sort of description of something? Where this bungalow is, who Nameless is, who their father is, what “girls” he was up late with, anything? Are these “girls” children who couldn’t sleep, or was Daddy Nameless out with some bar-skanks?

Read the rest of this entry »


2333: Portal 3 Aperture Again! – Chapters 17 AND 18

Author: terminalvelocityrunner
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Portal
Genre: Humor/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 17
URL: Chapter 18
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons! I hope you are all having a lovely (time-part), wherever you might be. Because that’s going to change.

You know how anime often have that one “onsen” episode where the entire plot is just discarded so that the characters can go on a trip to a hot springs or a beach, where they engage in meaningless shenanigans and/or fan service that ultimately have zero relevance? That’s a weird trope, isn’t it?

Anyway, in the last chapter TSue & Co spent the entire chapter creating an elaborate (yet still somehow incredibly vague) torture chamber that will undoubtedly grind Wheatley into techno-confetti in short order. Now that the idiot squad has managed to kill off literally every other named character in the franchise, let’s get to the next chapter!

GLaDOS metaphorically woke up the next day and liked at her built in calendar.

… So she had a spiritual or philosophical awakening and didn’t actually initiate whatever start-up program GLaDOS would use?  And while she was at it, she enjoyed her built-in calendar?

Right. Okay.

Read the rest of this entry »


2328: Portal 3 Aperture Again! – Chapter 16

 

Author: terminalvelocityrunner
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Portal
Genre: Humor/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 16
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to yet another chapter.

:sighs:

I’m pretty sure we’re getting close to the end of this Sisyphean nightmare. Probably.

In the last chapter the trio traveled to the frozen wasteland that is the surface of the Earth to investigate something, and after a fair bit of wandering around managed to witness a bit of space debris entering the remnants of the atmosphere. This hot garbage is, of course, Wheatley. TSue & Co decide to take Wheatley back to Aperture, despite having no reason to do so, where they managed to mute him by plugging him into TSue. Presumably in this chapter TSue will murder Wheatley to death in some new and terrible way.

“Hey GLaDOS, what are you going to do to the imbasal?” Asked T.

More to the point, what is an imbasal? If you were trying to spell “imbecile”, you were a little off.

“I’m going through a list of things we could do. Put him into the acid pits? It would make him short circuit terribly!” Asked GLaDOS.

Wouldn’t acid do more than just make him short circuit? Like, dissolve him?

I guess we were right about the torture. Dammit.

“No, too tame” said T. “Leave him tied up in the room with the bird?” Asked GLaDOS. “No, it would peck him and that’s about it” said T.

I don’t know about that, Prometheus didn’t really enjoy it very much.

“Drop him into the incinerators?” Asked GLaDOS. “Nah, his hull will protect him. It only works on defective turrets because they have no hulls” said T.

I don’t think TSue understands how an incinerator is supposed to work.

Read the rest of this entry »