Happy Friday the Thirteenth, dear Patrons, and welcome to a short little probable-oneshot from the Slime Rancher section of ff.net. I say ‘probable’ because it looks like the author meant to write more but there’s been no activity for over two years.
Let’s take a look at the summary and see what insights it can offer us.
I have no idea what to put as the description. It’s a fanfic about Slime Rancher, I’ll get a good description eventually.
Well, that’s always a good sign. To the fic.
Chapter 1: A New Place
Is it Narnia?
I woke with a start. The only thing I knew, was that I couldn’t remember anything.
Reminds me of the time Syl spiked the punch at the Library’s annual Winter Solstice Celebration and I woke up in a chandelier wearing a suit of Helmschmied Drachen armor and bunny ears.
Not really sure where the chandelier came from, now that I think about it.
I was in some sort of lab, with strange machines all over the place.
:stares into the Void:
Welcome, dear Patrons, to the second chapter of Weasley cursing.
And just a lot of cursing in general, most of it on my part.
In the previous chapter we learned about the Weasley Curse, which was basically an easy way to turn ginger via marriage and really doesn’t seem all that bad. The chapter ended shortly after the exchange of vows, and probably before they had actually gone through the “I now pronounce you man and wife” bit, with Harry rambling a bit about the curse with Arthur as if he suddenly knew everything about it. There was something about Bill’s past lives and the Malfoys, not really all that easy to follow.
The Weasley Curse…
Yes, we all know what fic we’re reading. You don’t have to remind us.
Chapter 2: Wedding of Katherine Weasley and Andrew Potter..
That would be the two people Harry seemed intimately familiar with, to the point of carrying multiple pictures of one around on his wedding day.
As is the author’s habit, the chapter begins with an Author’s Note. As is also the author’s habit, it is quite rambling and tries to ‘explain’ things that should probably be in the fic itself.
(AN: Andrew is Andrew Potter, who know who Bernard Weasley and Alastair Malfoy is and all and Katherine Anna Weasley is as well.
That’s wonderful for Andrew Potter, whomever he is when he’s at home, but I guess the rest of us can go piss up a rope.
Hello, dear Patrons, and Happy Festival of Consumerism to all my fellow Americans. And for our international Patrons who live in places that don’t celebrate the American Thanksgiving but still have Black Friday sales – sorry ’bout that.
I’ve decided to ‘treat’ everyone to a short fic from an author who technically hasn’t been in the Library before – AuthorAndrewCharlusPotter. I say technically because damn but does this boy have a lot of sock puppet accounts, including one where he claims to be the real JK Rowling, but doesn’t really make any effort to alter his writing style between accounts and mostly seems to be using them to reinforce his particular brand of rabid fanboy nonsense showcasing a very strange preoccupation with blood, hair color, and the torments of Wizarding Hell visited upon non-canon couples and the authors who write them.
This one starts off relatively ‘normal’ by badfic standards but then drops sharply off the map and into Batshit Crazy Land.
Sounds like fun!
The Weasley Curse
That would be the fic title, yes. There was some vague mentions of a curse in a previous fic – one allegedly written by JK Rowling and not AACP, I might add – but that particular one focused more on the way names of people destined to be together can “sound right” together and some sort of strange blood-bonding marriage ceremony that causes both spouses to die if there’s ever any infidelity instead of the alleged curse.
Like most of the author’s works, this one starts off with a rambling Author’s Note; sorry, with two rambling Author’s Notes.
(AN: All whom marry into the Weasley family become redheads but if a female weasley marries someone outside of the family, she takes on the hair of her husband, while the husband takes the hair of his wife. Before they get together… In other words, if Ginny marries Harry, and Harry marries Ginny, Harry then becomes redhead, while Ginny will be raven haired. So on an so forth, but it only happens with female Weasleys, but not the male weasleys because the male weasley are always redhead even when they are born.)
That’s … That’s not how genetics work. Like, at all.
Yello, dear Patrons, and welcome to the third and (thus far final) chapter of SH.
In the previous chapter
Hugh Mann Ryan was dragged into the school by Rea, who is actually some sort of hall monitor of some sort – presumably this is why she was swimming around outside the school in her terror-fish form. Once inside, he was taken to Empra, the school’s headmistress, who was swimming around in a giant tank before changing into clothing that wasn’t quite the right size so her breasts partially popped out. She then informed Hugh Mann Ryan that she hadn’t sensed any other survivors so they were probably all dead.
And on that cheerful note, on to the next chapter!
Data Entry 3: The Food Chain
This was mentioned previously, but there was no explanation given. Hopefully the author’s had time to come up with something by now.
As Ryan let Empra’s words sink in, he was escorted by Rea to the living quarters part of the Aurora. Here, there were individual cabins a lounge and a dining area.
“School starts at 0800 hours,” Rea stated. “Don’t be late.”
Hello there, wonderful Patrons, and welcome to another chapter of SH! In the first chapter we were introduced to the fledgling colonist
Hugh Mann Ryan, whose ship was shot down over 4546B so he’s naturally going straight to high school to get himself a mermaid harem! Because that makes total sense.
Data Entry 2: Hostile Reception
Is that where there’s a wedding reception and it turns out one of the waitstaff is the groom’s ex?
As Ryan and Rabb got closer to the Aurora, a menacing roar echoed through the water.
“What was that?” Ryan said as he surfaced.
“It’s okay,” Rabb assured. “Just stay perfectly still.”
I have a sneaking suspicion on what it could be, but I don’t know why there were be a Reaper Leviathan swimming around when all of the creatures were supposedly evolved up to anthropomorphic forms. If there are still Reaper Leviathans around the Aurora, then that’s the last place you would want to build a school even if the wreck wasn’t badly damaged and irradiated.
Which, I would like to remind you all, it very much should be.
A series of ripples followed as a giant creature swam towards them.
Hold on – if this is a Reaper Leviathan, then why is it attacking like this? They are ambush predators who are more likely to zoom in and take a bite out of your ass than bother with this slow-burn Jaws bullshit.
But before Ryan got a good look at it, the creature changed into a human-like figure that surfaced.
:spits out tea:
What the frickin’ hell am I looking at here?!?
Hello, dear Patrons, and now that Spooktober is over (and I can use my sinuses once again) it’s time to start on a new fic. This one comes from the SubNautica section, and I’m just going to bring in the summary, because … Yeah.
In an alternate reality, the creatures of Planet 4546B have evolved to be able to take on human-like forms. So following the events of the two games, a descendant of Ryley Robinson named Ryan arrives on the planet (now called Subnautica) to attend a school located in the Aurora shipwreck where humans and Subnauticans are taught to coexist with one another.
I have heard that if something exists, then there’s probably a High School AU fanfic for it, but … SubNautica? Really? The bulk of the fauna is either a threat you have to work around or an asset you need to gather so you don’t die. (Or, like the Crashfish, a bit of both.) The designs are amazing, but there isn’t anything that would make me say; “Yeah, I’d tap that.”
And something tells me that by “after the two games” the author means that this is all happening immediately after the games, even though that’s not how evolution works. (It is also highly unlikely that there would be multiple divergent species evolving into similar sentient lifeforms at the same time, but let’s not go there right now.) Granted, the precursors were very big on tinkering with biology, but they were adapting existing creatures to a specific task because of a serious threat. I doubt they would have been focused on turning Gasopods and Stalkers into high school kids.
Hello, dear Patrons!
I know Spooktober is technically over for another year, but I refuse to let it die! Idecided to drag out another Slender fic because reasons. I’ve also taken massive amounts of cold medicine, so I really don’t have the cognitive faculties to work on anything too taxing right now.
[Note from FutureGhostie – I really shouldn’t write when tanked out of my gourd on Benadryl. My spelling and grammar suffer and I had to redo about two-thirds of this thing because I forgot to turn CapsLock off.]
Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?
Two people gets lost in the woods. In the same forest slender man lives
Well, that’s certainly … succinct.
slender man’s victims
That would be the title, yes.
A slender fan fic
Just in case you thought a fic titled slender man’s victims was actually a Wind in the Willows fanfic.
Huh. I kind of wonder if that’s actually a thing.
…No, Ghostie; you can’t go off looking for more fanfics. Focus, girl.
“Bye mom, me and samantha are going for a walk” josh shouted at his mom.
Good-bye, random person who is probably going to die soon.