2610: Subnautica High – Chapter 5

 

Title: Subnautica High
Author: ShizukaRakugaki44
Media: Video Game
Topic: SubNautica
Genre: Sci-Fi/Romance
URL: Chapter 5
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Welcome back, marvelous Patrons!

In the last chapter our intrepid Hugh Mann (whom everyone keeps calling ‘Ryan’ for some reason) got interrogated by a barracuda boy and is supposed to be having a private swim lesson with an attractive human girl who is also a horrible racist, so there’s that to look forward to.

Data Entry 5: Night Swim to Mountain Island (Part 1)

I really hope that the first lesson isn’t going to be “Let’s do a long-distance swim of several kilometres through dangerous predator-infested waters with no chance to rest” because that is a terrible idea. It also occurs to me that I have no idea when the lesson is taking place. Presumably it is during the school day, but there really hasn’t been any indication as to what sort of time-keeping method they are using. The days on 4546B are significantly shorter than on Earth, because video games, so are they using a local time or Earth time to plan out their schedules?

While Marie was demonstrating several basic swimming techniques, Ryan noticed many animals were lurking in the Safe Shallows including fish, rays, and even ones that looked like manatees.

Dude, pay attention to your lessons. You can sight-see later.

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2606: Subnautica High – Chapter 4

Title: Subnautica High
Author: ShizukaRakugaki44
Media: Video Game
Topic: SubNautica
Genre: Sci-Fi/Romance
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Hello, magnificent Patrons, and welcome to one of our old(ish) favorites that has started updating again!

Well … There’s technically been a few chapters dropped over the months, but time has more or less lost all meaning these days so there we go.

For those of you who weren’t around last November you can catch the first three chapters here, but the short version is that a colonist Hugh Mann Ryan is shot down on his way to planet 4546-B and is scooped up by the natives – who mostly appear to be hot anthropomorphic teen versions of the game’s fauna who dress in coordinated outfits corresponding to their origin species’ coloration – so that he can attend high school. The last chapter I covered revealed that the school operates under a draconian caste system with carnivores getting higher status than the herbivores/prey species, who are considered stupid and inferior in every way. Oh, and they can also switch at will between a mer-form and a fully humanoid form, because sexy mermaids are scientifically accurate.

To the fic! Which starts with an Author’s Note.

Sorry for the super long delay. Was busy writing other fanfics and caught up in personal matters, but I’m surprised at how quickly this fanfic became popular despite having only three chapters. So to those who are hyped for the next chapter, I apologize in advance if it doesn’t meet your expectations. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this next installment :)

I checked a few minutes ago and there’s a grand total of fourteen reviews, four of them from the same person and none of them really offering anything constructive, and it had been favorited sixteen times. Not really what I would consider popular; most of the Raptor & I clones have more reviews and favorites.

Data Entry 4: Stalkers

Is that the creepy kind or the kind that bite you in the bum when you’re trying to find salvage?

To Ryan’s surprise, all the teachers at Subnautica High School were crew members from the Sunspot with the Homeroom teacher being Ava Quinn who was descended from Captain Avery Quinn of the Sunbeam ship which exploded above Subnautica a long time ago.

That’s a lot of unnecessary information to pack into a sentence.

There’s a lot of conflicting information regarding how old this colony is; there’s mention of a human colony with extensive shopping areas – something that wouldn’t be a high priority for a fledgling colony – but the only teachers were pulled from the crew rather than being sent specifically to be teachers by Alterra or whomever is sponsoring the colony which makes me think they haven’t been there that long.

But unlike the Aurora, no one survived except for the crews’ relatives who didn’t go to Subnautica initially.

I’m fairly certain that any relatives of the Aurora crew who weren’t on the ship when it exploded also survived. That’s kind of how that works.

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2573: Fazbear Park – Chapters 1 & 2

Title: Fazbear Park
Author: SirDelvinAndMegaMike
Media: Books/Movies
Topic: Five Nights at Freddy’s/Jurassic World
Genre: Romance
URL: Chapter 1
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by Ghostcat

Hey there, Patrons!

I was combing through my short fics to see what caught my fancy and near the bottom of the bin was this very short little treasure.

It’s a Jurassic Park/World and Five Nights at Freddy’s crossover.

And it’s tagged as a Romance.

Soooo … That’s a thing that exists. Let’s look at the summary, shall we?

InGen and Fazbear Entertainment come together to recreate the popular FFP and Jurassic World!

With two companies with such sterling track records regarding customer safety I can’t see how that would ever go wrong, but I can’t help but notice that a theme park featuring genetically engineered organisms doesn’t have much in common with a children’s party restaurant. There might be a pizzeria inside Jurassic World somewhere, probably the food court because there’s always a food court, but the summary makes it sound as if the two things are completely equal.

Welcome home! Rated M for language, violence, and suggestive themes.

Oh, I don’t like that.

Read and please please PLEASE review. Fem! Mangle and Fem! OC. Couldn’t find JJ in the character list, just put her as OC. Please review. If you read, review review review!

Do you think the author wants reviews?

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2568: Harry’s Hidden Sibling – Chapter 1, part 3

Title: Harry’s Hidden Sibling
Author: AuthorAndrewCharlusPotter
Media: Books/Movies
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Romance
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Yello, dear Patrons, and welcome to the last of this one chapter long fic that has lasted for-frickin’-ever. Kind of fitting that we’re ending it on Friday the Thirteenth, I guess.

In the last segment, there was … Ummm…

:flips through notes: 

Dream sequence … :flip:  Shenanigans … :flip-flip: The whole under-aged soul bond … thing …

:tosses notebook over her shoulder:

Fuck if I know what was going on.

Onward to the bitter end!

Albus had to go alone to change the story, for the greater good. he didn’t want the Longbottom line to end, but he knew Harry had to be born a year earlier if necessary to give Lord Voldemort a choice between the two boys.

I don’t really think that’s how a prophecy works, dude.

As I’ve already pointed out there were likely a number of children born around the vague time period specified by Trelawney’s prophecy – July, 1980 – and I’m sure statistically speaking a good number of them would have been male and their parents would have been apposed to Voldemort. I assume the whole reason Neville is the only other candidate is due to the fan theories that he was the Chosen One from the prophesy, not Harry.

 Hopefully the soul bond will still be in effect for Harry and Ginerva and if possible I may need to interfere again.

Because even though he’s now going to be born a year earlier, Harry is going to be the exact same person because reasons.

Wait a second … Interfere? When did he interfere before now? Was it when he gave the Potters the special soul-bonding rings? Or did I miss something during that endless dream sequence? Because I was fairly well plastered for most of it.

Don’t drink knife polish and fancy perfume, kids. You’ll end up having to get your liver vacuumed out by a guy who is overly fond of leeches, which is far less fun than it sounds.

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2565: Harry’s Hidden Sibling – Chapter 1, part 2

Title: Harry’s Hidden Sibling
Author: AuthorAndrewCharlusPotter
Media: Books/Movies
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Romance
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

[Note from FutureGhostie – I’m not going to put a full content warning tag on this, but it goes off the rails very quickly and touches on some disturbing subject matter. Nothing graphic, but it does involve children and ‘age of consent’ shenanigans.]

 

Hello, dearest Patrons, and welcome to the second installment of this rambling fever-dream of a fic. In the first chunk James and Lily (and possibly another James) were married, resulting in a ‘weak’ soul bond, and a year later Dumbledore received the book prophecy from Professor Trelawney and then decided to take a quick nap. Onward into … whatever this is!

~Albus Dumbledore’s Dream~

I guess this tag is here in case having Dumbledore cast a spell on himself in a mix of broken Latin and English wasn’t enough of a clue that he was going to be forcing himself to fall asleep and have a convenient prophetic dream.

St. Mungo’s…

Sept. 19, 1979

This is Hermione’s canonical birth date, although I would assume she was born in a Muggle hospital and not St. Mungo’s. I doubt any wizarding family would go to St. Mungo’s – or, to use the hospital’s full name, St Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries – for a normal birth since childbirth is not a magical malady or injury. There’s not really a lot of information regarding childbirth given in the books, but St. Mungo’s various floors are described and none of them contain a maternity wing so I assume that wizarding families either go elsewhere or use the services of a magical midwife or something similar.

Albus made his way along with his headmistress Minerva McGonagall to visit old friends of theirs who have just given birth to their first child.

Minerva said, “She’s beautiful.”

Is McGonagall practicing for when she sees the baby, or does she think the hallway is beautiful?

Lily smiled, “She is she has James’s eyes just a shade dark and could be mistaken for brown but there is a tinge of blue-grey to be known as hazel eyes and she has my father’s hair.

I think Lily is still enjoying the effects of whatever medication they’ve given her. I wish she would share.

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2560: Harry’s Hidden Sibling – Chapter 1, part 1

Title: Harry’s Hidden Sibling
Author: AuthorAndrewCharlusPotter
Media: Books/Movies
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Romance
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to a girthy oneshot from an author who is obsessed with blood rituals and has no grasp on how genetics work – good ol’ AACP! It is one of the few works on his main profile that is a ‘real’ fic and not just a lengthy rant abusing one of his favorite horse corpses or an attempt to ‘fix’ the works of other fanfic authors who don’t meet with AACP’s approval. It is also technically only one chapter long but is so dense that I will likely have to break it into at least two, probably three, parts.

Let’s just take a quick peek at the summary, shall we?

This starts out as Lily and James wedding and then goes on to well, her first true child, Dumbledore’s seer-like abilities thanks to a spell, then Dumbledore’s interference and obliviation, and this explains why Harry and Hermione aren’t supposed to be together as well, because they are full blood brother and sister. Only Harry and Ginny are supposed to be together romantically.

Well. That’s certainly a thing that someone wrote.

If this fic is anything like the other fic(s) we’ve seen from this author and his sock-puppet, then the actual plot will completely dissolve into a disjointed ‘explanation’ about one of the author’s favorite pet subjects – and/or possibly turn into poorly translated Welsh – at some point, and based on that summary I assume it’s going to be yet another incredibly convoluted way of ‘proving’ that Harry and Hermione can’t be romantically involved (even though canonically they aren’t) because reasons, so we have that to look forward to.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone/Philosopher’s Stone

…Huh. I’m used to seeing the chapter repeated in the body of the text, but that’s new. Pretty sure this seven thousand plus word fanfic isn’t the actual book named in that title.

Chapter: Prologue/LILY AND JAMES WEDDING/HIDDEN SIBLING/THE BOY WHO LIVED.

No wonder this chapter is so long; it is actually four chapters in one.

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2555: Five Nights with Jack – Chapter 7

Title: Five Nights with Jack
Author: mah29732
Media: Video Game/TV Show
Topic: Five Nights at Freddy’s/Samurai Jack
Genre: Mystery/Suspense
URL: Chapter 7
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to the last chapter of the fic! Now, I can’t actually remember if this fic is listed as being completed or if it is one of the many abandoned fics that have made their way to the Library, and I’m too lazy to actually go check so it will be a surprise for all of us when we get to the end.

The last chapter ended with a small nugget of what passes for excitement, with the explosive death of Springtrap and the arrival of a (possibly unrelated) Generic Purple Spirit that is exceedingly polite and doesn’t just attack Jack after delivering what I assume is meant to be a threat. Since it is the last chapter, the Generic Purple Spirit will probably threaten and/or attack, someone (either Aku or the Generic Purple Spirit) will steal Jack’s sword – but Jack will get it back within a paragraph or two, kick moderate ass, the ‘time machine’ will either be fake or somehow be destroyed just before Jack can use it, Aku will run off (while laughing evilly, no doubt) and then everything will return to the status quo.

Let’s see if I’m right!

Chapter 7: The Purple Spirit

It’s prose shall be both florid and insubstantial! Truly one of the most terrifying of all spectral entities.

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