2378: Voicebox – Chapter 2

Title: Voicebox: A Ticci Toby fanfiction
Author: WhiteSiren
Media: Creepypasta
Topic: Ticci Toby/Jeff the Killer/ Slenderman / etc.
Genre: Horror/Romance
URL: https://lolpasta.fandom.com/wiki/Voicebox
Critiqued by PsychoNerd054

Last time I read about the story of a girl with Tourette’s who’s been abused her whole life, went out and kill people, and craves voice boxes for no discernible reason. If you thought that was crazy, this chapter introduces Jeff the Killer midway.

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2370: Voicebox – Chapter 1

Title: Voicebox: A Ticci Toby fanfiction
Author: WhiteSiren
Media: Creepypasta
Topic: Ticci Toby/Jeff the Killer/ Slenderman / etc.
Genre: Horror/Romance
URL: https://lolpasta.fandom.com/wiki/Voicebox
Critiqued by PsychoNerd054

Trigger Warning: This story contains instances of blood and gore, rape, and domestic abuse.

Hey patrons, I’m PsychoNerd054, a guest riffer who will be looking into a story called Voicebox: a Ticci Toby fanfiction, a little oddity found in the depths of Quotev that has been lost but far from forgotten, until the Lolpasta wiki reuploaded it once more. I call this story an oddity for several reasons. First of all, here’s the art that went along with this story when it was first posted to Quotev:

Doesn’t that just give you a good first impression about this story? As you can probably tell, we will be reading a story about somebody’s self-insert falling in love with the creepypasta character Ticci Toby.

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2206: Shadow of the Blood – Oneshot

[Back with another spooooooooky Halloween riff. In the first week of December. Now that is scary. – Bats]

Title: Shadow of Blood
Author: Hetagirl 143
Media: Creepypasta
Topic: The Killer with a knife cliche
Genre: Jeff the Killer clone
URL: https://www.wattpad.com/489107349-creepypasta-shadow-of-blood-shadow-of-blood
Critiqued by Zues Killer Production

Spooktember contribution-The Shadow of Blood (yes, really)

SURPRISE

…that would’ve been a better visual gag. Yes, I know, I’m not screaming at Realm of the New Gods for once. Considering the circumstances, I figured I’d take a one-off break to do a crappypasta.

Originally, I was going to do “Let’s Play.exe,” but AdmiralSakai said something about wanting to do it, and I figured “Eh, more stuff is in the barrel.” Thankfully, my knowledge of Bad Creepypasta episodes has paid off-and this fanfiction is essentially the prize.

So, how do we begin?

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2182: NEVER MESS WITH A OUIJA BOARD – Oneshot

Title: NEVER MESS WITH A OUIJA BOARD
Author: River Styx1201
Media: Animation/Creepypasta
Topic: Young Justice/Ben Drowned
Genre: Humor
URL: Oneshot
Critiqued by BatJamags and Kane

Oh, for the love of fuck. “Hey, I’ll riff this stupid crossover,” I said. “It’ll be short and funny,” I said. “Oh, I’m sure it won’t trot out rape as a generic trajek backstory,” I said. Well, I didn’t actually say the last one, but I would’ve been wrong as fuck if I did, and now I have to put a warning up here. Thanks, fic.

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m going to have to be the bearer of bad news. You may have all thought you were safe, but you were wrong.

spoop4

The spoopy has followed us into November.

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2172: The God Theory & The Tale of King Ramses — Crappy Pasta

-WARNING-
The second pasta under review today includes scenes of pointless gore and gratuitous torture. While not at all scary, those patrons with sensitive stomachs may not want to read it over lunch.

Title: The God Theory
Author: Toxickawaiicupcake
Media: Web Original
Topic: Religious / Conspiracy Theory / Frothing Idiocy
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: The God Theory

Title: The Tale Of King Ramses
Author: MilitaryBrat
Media: Cartoon
Topic: Courage The Cowardly Dog
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: The Tale of King Ramses

Hello hello, all you patrons! Tune up your eerie banjos and keep on the lookout for files containing suspicious binary, because it’s time once again for

spoop4

“You know, Sakai, I just noticed we’ve never actually riffed a ‘theory’ pasta on this thing, even though they’re a deep, rich well of terrible ideas.”

You know what? You’re right.

As the name implies, ‘theory’ pastas are speculative or hypothetical in nature, which could allow writers the freedom to address more abstract and existential horror topics but in practice pretty much just absolves them of the requirement of making even the Creepypasta Wiki’s usual limited amount of sense or including any sort of coherent plot progression to frame their pretentious pseudo-philosophical ramblings. Possibly the most famous manifestation of ‘theory’ pastas is  (1) the ‘some cherished 90s kids medium has darker implications’ theory-

“- Including the ever-popular ‘the main character’s dying, comatose, or insane and just hallucinating everything’ claim -“

– although  (2) the ‘some IRL event has a darker or supernatural explanation’ theory –

” -even if we already know pretty much what did happen and it’s just humans being humans-“

– and (3) pastas that speculate what would happen if some improbable horrible event happened instead of just writing a narrative describing it happen –

“- but why even would it happen -“

-and of course (4) just pointless empty philosophizing are also common.

“Oh of course!”

Today’s first pasta, The God Theory is mostly of the second variety, although it certainly also contains a hefty dollop of Number Four.

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2166: CoD: Black Hell Ops and Binary DNA — Crappy Pasta

–WARNING–
While today’s pasta is (surprise surprise) not in the least bit scary, it does include potential political flamebait in the form of discussion of American military activities in general and the nuclear strike on Hiroshima in particular.

Yes, really.

Title: CoD: Black Hell Ops
Author: Who knows, who cares?
Media: Video Game
Topic: Call of Duty
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: Dramatic Reading and Giant Wad Of Deleted Pages Including The Pasta

Title: Binary DNA
Author: Black goes gray
Media: Web Original
Topic: Creepypasta
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: Binary DNA

Hello hello all you patrons! Keep a detailed count of the students in your agronomics class and make sure not to let any incendiary spiders get near the gasoline you picked up from the grocery store, because it’s time once again for

spoop4

 

 

 

 

 

“Today, in case the title didn’t already clue you in… yep, there really is such a thing as Call of Duty creepypasta. Your species’ appetite for depravity really is just that great.”

There’s not really much I can say about the concept of Call of Duty creepypasta to make it any more simultaneously hilarious and depressing than it already is, so let’s just dive right in.

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2159: Arachnophobia — Crappy Pasta

Title: Arachnophobia
Author: NaughtyBeaver
Media: Creepypasta
Topic: Spiders!
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: Arachnophobia

Hello hello all you patrons! Make sure you’ve been vaccinated against Instant Death Disease and your precision scientific watermelonographs are properly zeroed, because it’s time once again for

spoop4

 

 

 

 

 

So I ran into this story while looking for last week’s pastas- it was in the ‘science’ category and I have absolutely zero idea why. Actually, for that matter, I’m not really sure why it was written at all. The inaugural edit reads

I made my story?

so maybe this was a class project or something, I don’t know.

“Why the question mark? Kid don’t sound too glubbin’ sure of himself…”

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