2810: To Blacken the Lake – Chapter 2, Part 2
Posted: May 28, 2021 Filed under: Legend of Zelda, To Blacken the Lake | Tags: Family, Ghostcat, Romance, Video Game 11 CommentsTitle: To Blacken the Lake
Author: Jedi Heathcliff
Media: Video Game
Topic: Legend of Zelda series
Genre: Romance/Family
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by: Ghostcat
Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome back to the fic!
When last we met, Princess Chicken was setting up a birthday present for herself by arranging a clandestine meeting between Zelda and Link. This is meant to be some sort epic prank, although I’m not really sure why she feels that way. So it goes.
And we now return to our regularly scheduled fic, already in progress.
The hour counting down to the meeting was absolutely excruciating. Wanting nothing more than to see my sister in such an awkward situation.
I thought Princess Chicken was supposed to be off shopping for a dress? Isn’t that what she told Zelda prior to this?
However, I admit that more of it had to do with me wanting them to finally get over the passive flirtation and gawking at one another.
How do you passively flirt with someone? Do you just think really hard in the other person’s direction or something? Is there a lot of eyelash fluttering involved?
2809: The Deck – Oneshot
Posted: May 26, 2021 Filed under: Solitaire, The Deck | Tags: Adventure, Drama, FINO, Game, Solitaire, TacoMagic 20 CommentsTitle: The Deck
Author: Shyguy1
Media: Game
Topic: Solitaire
Genre: Adventure/Drama
URL: The Deck
Critiqued by TacoMagic
Hey, patrons! Welcome to a new canon: Solitaire! Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Who would make a fanfiction of an independent Lebanese film!?” and I assure you, the reality is much, much worse:
Media: Game
This is a fanfiction of the single-player card game.
Naturally, this is going to be a FINO because there’s just no canon to go off of, which naturally is a problem for somebody attempting to write a fanfiction.
I mean, it doesn’t have to be an issue, there are ways to go about this that could work, but let’s be real here: the fic is in the Library.
And, let me tell you, the introductory author’s note is something else. But, as always, summary first.
Life as a “Card” isn’t easy.
I’m absolutely “sure” that it “isn’t.”
So, I quit. I’m done.
*Taco eyes up Carlos*
Ahem, I’m sure he’s just in character and this is in no way implying that the fic is about to end-
*BZZZT*
OH C’MON!
Of course, it isn’t quite that easy.
See, Carlos!? It wasn’t over, there was no “the end-
*BZZZT!*
2808: A Turian’s Duty — Chapter 7 Part 2
Posted: May 25, 2021 Filed under: A Turian's Duty, Admiral Sakai, Mass Effect, Video Game | Tags: Adventure, AU, Boring, Mass Effect, Pacing Trainwreck, Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP!!!!!, Squandered Potential, Video Game 17 CommentsTitle: A Turian’s Duty
Author: ShadowWolf329
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure
URL: Chapter 7
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai
Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to A Turian’s Duty. Last time, Cuckoo Vakarian attended his CO’s funeral and made everybody there talk about how great he was. He also got his CO’s sword, which I’m sure will be very helpful in a firefight. He then talked to Commander Lieutenant Shepard, who has longer hair and Sue-purple eyes for no reason, designed some canonical Mass Effect guns, and then boarded a ship to Omega. We left off just as he was disembarking.
2807: Halo: the Art of War – Chapter 5, Part 2
Posted: May 23, 2021 Filed under: Halo, Halo: the Art of War | Tags: Adventure, batjamags, Gary Stumanity, Halo, Pacing Trainwreck, Pretentious as Fuck, Sci-Fi, Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP!!!!!, Tryhard with a Vengeance, Video Game 23 CommentsTitle: Halo: the Art of War [sic]
Author: Havoc-legionnaire
Media: Video Game
Topic: Halo
Genre: Sci-Fi / Adventure
URL: Chapter 5
Critiqued by: BadJamags AdmiralJamags and GoodJamags Chief Director (Ret.) Goodinic Jamags
Hell hello all you patrons, and welcome back to this wall of exposition in progress. How you feeling, Chief Director?
“Kill me.”
Great! Last time, we learned some garbled facts about the MJOLNIR Mk V armor the SPARTANs will be using, and Cortana showed up and immediately put the Stu in his place. It was glorious.
0800 Hours, August 29, 2552 (Military Calendar) / Epsilon Eridani System, UNSC Military Reservation 01478-B, planet Reach
“So what can you tell me about these Spartan-IVs, Jorge?” John began. The Spartans were marching out of the hangar towards a waiting firing range about a kilometer away where Doctor Halsey and Colonel Yang were waiting for them. The two Spartan-IIs trailed the rest of the column, taking their time to talk.
“And talk and talk and talk.”
“Sir?” Jorge responded. “I thought that Doctor Halsey sent you their files.
“The files were only a general description of the Noble and Spearhead teams. Not too much for me to work on. And I want to hear what someone who has worked with them has to say.”
Apparently the “files” were as shitty as the in-person briefing.
“Hm. Alright, sir. I’ll tell you what I know. Noble is the best team of Spartans that the Spartan-IV program produced. Not much difference from us, really. We are a flexible all purpose fire team.”
Again, what the hell is the deal with Noble being IVs and not IIIs?
“What is your opinion on Noble as a team?” John requested.
…
“…”
…
Noble is the best team of Spartans that the Spartan-IV program produced.
Like, it’s not just me, right? I’m not the only one who thinks John is kind of a moron?
“Morjohn?”
Not horrible, but Failo and Disaster Chief were better. Keep working on it.
“Well, they’re definitely solid under fire. The team is well balanced to face any situation. They’re not as universally adaptive as the IIs are, but they make up for that by cooperating closely and working to their individual strengths.”
“That was spectacularly unhelpful.”
“The team does team things, like a team.”
“And the Spearheads?”
At that question, Jorge seemed not wanting to be as forthcoming as before. “Well, sir. I, ah, don’t think that I’m the person you should be asking if you want to know about them.”
“It, ah, all depends on what your opinion on Stus is, sir.”
Now John was truly pique. Not much could get the normally very conversational Jorge to nervously hold back. “And why not?”
“It’s, uh, really hard to describe them, Commander. Hell, there’s one thing that I can think of that works for those Spartans. Colonel Yang said this about them about two years ago. ‘If you want it done right, call in Noble Team. If you want it done fast – or sometimes even done at all –, call in Spearhead.'”
See what I mean?
Also, the author picks the most inane things to be Big Quotes from Colonel Wang.
That was not very inspiring to hear.
“No kidding.”
Before John could ask Jorge to expand on that, the two Spartans discovered that they had arrived at the firing range. There was a standard shooting alley with targets going all the way out to a kilometer and a half. On the other side of that, there was a free range course that tests the shooter’s ability to fire on the move. However, it was what’s in the center that caught the Spartans’ attention: racks after racks of weapons of all sorts and calibers.
Oh fuck, here we go.
They weren’t familiar guns either; John couldn’t recognize a single one of them. Aside the racked guns were a series of crates with NavSpecWar labels with the words ‘Spartan Munitions’ written on them. The five members of Spearhead team stood next to them. Four were in armor, save their helmets. John knew their names from the dossiers Doctor Halsey had given him. There were the two identical twins with short blond hair, Jonathan-665
“Because having protagonists named ‘John’ and ‘Jonathan’ isn’t confusing at all.”
Read the rest of this entry »& Steven-666.
2806: To Blacken the Lake – Chapter 1 and Chapter 2, part 1
Posted: May 21, 2021 Filed under: Legend of Zelda, To Blacken the Lake | Tags: Family, Ghostcat, Romance, Video Game 32 CommentsTitle: To Blacken the Lake
Author: Jedi Heathcliff
Media: Video Game
Topic: Legend of Zelda series
Genre: Romance/Family
URL: Chapter 1
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by: Ghostcat
Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to a new fic!
This particular fic is by an author I’ve previously featured; they penned the plot regurgitation fic “Her Breath of The Wild” that featured a Sue OC that was Photoshopped into the plot. It is also from the LoZ section, but there’s nothing indicating which game it is based on. As it was written around the same time as the previous fic, I’m going to assume it’s another BoTW fic until the fic proves otherwise.
Now, let’s take a look at the summary.
Captured by Ganondorf, she soon found herself questioning her own morals. A mere look into his eyes made her forget he was a monster out to rule over her family’s kingdom. When she finally finds her way back to her sister Zelda, she realizes that lying quickly stopped being her strong suit.
Well, that’s very vague and slightly reminiscent of a bodice-ripper. Not sure who “she” is, but I assume it is another OC Sue that is probably going to be better than Zelda at everything.
Prologue
I’m wondering if this is going to be a proper prologue or just a first chapter.
Our mother kept telling us not to play by the lake too much. We might fall in and drown or get bitten by a bug and get an infection.
Those are two very different yet oddly specific things to be warned about. Also, getting bitten by insects and getting infections aren’t really things you can just forbid from happening. There are preventative measures that can be taken, but they aren’t always one hundred percent effective, especially when it comes to insects.
Most importantly, she said not to touch the black rock.
Is there more than one black rock, or is this a very specific black rock, or are they just supposed to avoid all black rocks equally?
There was a tale of an evil wizard who planted the rock there and cursed it with magic. If anyone were to touch it, their worst nightmare would become reality.
I can’t really think of any LoZ game that has this exact mechanic, although Twilight Princess had the whole alternate ‘shadow realm’ thing going for it.
My sister and I, of course, rarely listened to our mother.
So says every child ever.
Library of the Damned 
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