2860: Halo: the Art of War – Chapter 10, Part 2
Posted: January 23, 2022 Filed under: Halo, Halo: the Art of War | Tags: Adventure, batjamags, Don't Cut Yourself on All That Edge, Gary Stumanity, Halo, Mall Ninjutsu, Pacing Trainwreck, Pretentious as Fuck, Sci-Fi, Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP!!!!!, Tryhard with a Vengeance, Video Game, WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN, You Fail at Research 41 CommentsTitle: Halo: the Art of War [sic]
Author: Havoc-legionnaire
Media: Video Game
Topic: Halo
Genre: Sci-Fi / Adventure
URL: Chapter 10
Critiqued by: BatJamags AdmiralJamags and GoodJamags Browline Glasses
Hello hello all you patrons! Browline Glasses, recap me.
“The Covenant’s strategy of deploying large piñatas in place of capital ships is working as anticipated.”
That’s most of it, yeah. More specifically, the StuNSC rolled the original reinforcements, but apparently by complete coincidence, an even bigger Covenant fleet (which is not actually bigger but the author says it is) wandered into the system. We cut off as the second group launched a bunch of torpedoes at the Pillar of Heat Season.
There was no way that Autumn could take that kind of firepower,
but nor could they, as Keyes knew, simply enter slipspace and withdraw from the fight. Even if the Truth and Reconciliation could make it into the Oort Cloud in time, most of her systems were still disabled and the boarding party would need more time to right the ship. In the meantime, the Covenant could comb the area to find her; it would be lengthy and tedious,
-Much like the fic-
but it was very much possible.
-Oh, never mind.
In the greater scheme of things, though, the captain could not now permit any Covenant survivors in the entire system to tell the tale. If the Covenant command structure knew that they had lost the Truth and Reconciliation, they would simply have their forces open fire on her whenever they saw her. The mission would end in failure unless Keyes wiped them out right down to the last grunt.
“Should I point out that they did nothing to prevent the initial reinforcements from passing along a warning?”
Shhh, you’ll break the plot.
That meant that there was only one option left: Keyes would have to outmaneuver them all.
“My god, could this be-“
THE KEYES WEAVE
“Engines to full. Lovell, come about and plot a course to take us behind Caria V. Lt. Hikowa, use the phalanxes to buy us as much time as possible. Raise the ECM.”
Are there not torpedoes heading for you right now? Do you propose to outrun them?
“May I ask to know what you plan to do, Captain?” Wellesley inquired.
Keyes grinned at the AI. “I’m going to take a page out of your book, Wellesley.”
“You magnificent bastard.”
Read the rest of this entry »2859: Halo: the Art of War – Chapter 10, Part 1
Posted: January 16, 2022 Filed under: Halo, Halo: the Art of War | Tags: Adventure, batjamags, Don't Cut Yourself on All That Edge, Gary Stumanity, Halo, Mall Ninjutsu, Pacing Trainwreck, Pretentious as Fuck, Sci-Fi, Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP!!!!!, Tryhard with a Vengeance, Video Game, WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN, You Fail at Research 41 CommentsTitle: Halo: the Art of War [sic]
Author: Havoc-legionnaire
Media: Video Game
Topic: Halo
Genre: Sci-Fi / Adventure
URL: Chapter 10
Critiqued by: BatJamags AdmiralJamags and GoodJamags Browline Glasses
Hello hello all you patrons! We’re still knee deep in this slog of a fic, and in for possibly one of the most baffling author’s notes I’ve seen in the Library. Top ten, easy, probably top five.
“However, fortunately, we’ll be taking a break after Chapter 10, so that’s good news!”
It means you’ll be riffing more Shadow Warriors.
“As I was saying, aww, we just got back! Can’t we go a little further?”
You made your bed, now lie in it.
Also, what’s with the-
“I’m undercover as a Specs and Co. member.”
… There aren’t that many of them that they wouldn’t spot you.
“You say that, but I have at least Specs and Monocle completely fooled, and Contacts was only just starting to catch on before I left to come do riffing.”
All right, I think that’s more than enough screwing around for one lead-in. Let’s hit the chapter.
Read the rest of this entry »2858: Halo: the Art of War – Chapter Nine, Part Two
Posted: January 9, 2022 Filed under: Halo, Halo: the Art of War | Tags: Adventure, batjamags, Don't Cut Yourself on All That Edge, Gary Stumanity, Halo, Mall Ninjutsu, Pacing Trainwreck, Pretentious as Fuck, Sci-Fi, Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP!!!!!, Tryhard with a Vengeance, Video Game, WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN, You Fail at Research 26 CommentsTitle: Halo: the Art of War [sic]
Author: Havoc-legionnaire
Media: Video Game
Topic: Halo
Genre: Sci-Fi / Adventure
URL: Chapter 9
Critiqued by: BadJamags AdmiralJamags and GoodJamags Gooddrop
Hello hello all you patrons! We’re doing this thing still. I’m here with GoodJamags, who has taken on his most half-assed disguise yet.
“I’m like 60% certain the new batch of cookies isn’t lethal, though, and I repositioned the robot dinosaur to be a more convenient seat, so I’m getting there.”
Gooddrop, the recap, if you don’t mind.
“They went into a hangar and had a firefight.”
I’m sorry, but that’s not accurate.
“Did I miss something?”
No, they went into a hangar and had half a firefight. Let’s not overstate this story’s pacing.
“Look, you’ve been back for three weeks; I’m still rusty.”
You were born rusty.
“Um, shouldn’t we help him down there?” Sergeant Lister asked as he looked down from the catwalks at the funeral pyre of the shock trooper.
I should reiterate at this time that there was no scene break. This is just a really weird metaphor for WaWa getting shot a bunch of times.
“Speaking of which,”
“Oh him? He’s fine.” Emile responded nonchalantly. He pointed towards a specific part in the flames. “Look. There he is right now.”
“Which part?”
A specific one.
“Which specific one?”
That one, over there.
*Gooddrop squints into the Formless Void.*
Read the rest of this entry »2857: Halo: the Art of War – Chapter 9, Part 1
Posted: January 2, 2022 Filed under: Halo, Halo: the Art of War | Tags: Adventure, batjamags, Don't Cut Yourself on All That Edge, Gary Stumanity, Halo, Mall Ninjutsu, Pacing Trainwreck, Pretentious as Fuck, Sci-Fi, Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP!!!!!, Tryhard with a Vengeance, Video Game, WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN, You Fail at Research 30 CommentsTitle: Halo: the Art of War [sic]
Author: Havoc-legionnaire
Media: Video Game
Topic: Halo
Genre: Sci-Fi / Adventure
URL: Chapter 9
Critiqued by: BadJamags AdmiralJamags and GoodJamags Gooddrop
Hello hello all you patrons, and-
…
*AdmiralJamags looks confusedly around the Riffcave*
GJ? Where’d you go?
“I’m up here!”
*AdmiralJamags cranes his neck to look up at the Riffcave’s animatronic T. Rex. GoodJamags waves down from its mouth.*
“Uh, rawr, I’m a dinosaur! I made cookies!”
Oh, was that what those indeterminate smoking brown lumps on the desk were?
“I think I overcooked them a little! But what’d you think they were?”
Honestly, I didn’t think anything of it. I’m kind of used to having steaming turds dumped in my lap when I sit down to read this fic.
“Hey, can you handle the recap this week? It’s a bit hard to yell down from up here!”
Then why did you-
…
*Sigh*
You know what? Never mind. I’ll make this fairly detailed because I thought of new snark it’s been a while.
2845: Halo: the Art of War – Chapter 8, Part 2
Posted: August 15, 2021 Filed under: Halo, Halo: the Art of War | Tags: Adventure, batjamags, Don't Cut Yourself on All That Edge, Gary Stumanity, Halo, Mall Ninjutsu, Pacing Trainwreck, Pretentious as Fuck, Sci-Fi, Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP!!!!!, Tryhard with a Vengeance, Video Game, WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN, You Fail at Research 24 CommentsTitle: Halo: the Art of War [sic]
Author: Havoc-legionnaire
Media: Video Game
Topic: Halo
Genre: Sci-Fi / Adventure
URL: Chapter 8
Critiqued by: BadJamags AdmiralJamags and GoodJamags Retired Darth Lord GoodJamags, Esq.
Hello hello all you patrons, and I am not dead. I had a slight Bar Exam to address, and then I had to do all the other things I left hanging while I vanished off the face of the earth, so I only just exist here again. Anyway, we left off as the plot still had not started.
“I remain present.”
Your Crunchy voice still sucks.
1600 Hours, October 12th, 2552 (Military Calendar) / 1st Spartan Combat Group, Caria V, Caria System, Sector 259.
Now that I’m getting back into this, I feel like I should say that I used to have the instinct to provide these overly wordy scene tags, but they are just complete filler. Like, if you expect exact timing to become important, maybe the time tags would be a little difficult to work into narration, but do we really need all of this to let us know that we’re still where we were before, just a little later?
And it’s not like the time tags get any more precise than the top of the hour.
The formation of pelicans and sabers pulled up as they closed with Caria V’s icy surface. The timing of the attack was perfect. The Covenant freighter had landed on an ice sheet that was an hour from crossing the terminator.
Oh, that’s not good. The freighter will have to come with them if it wants to live.
With this perfect cover, the flight of pelicans, sabers, and longswords approached the planet from its shadow to obscure themselves from any long range sensors.
Author.
The solar terminator is just the line between day and night.
Let me clarify further: You just said that long range sensors do not work at night.
Read the rest of this entry »
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