Hello hello all you patrons! Today we continue my vacation from The First War with yet another ‘fic from my Massive Pile of Hideous Fem!Elite Halo ‘Fics, in this case the… appropriately-titled “Sweet Disaster” by some random dude(?) with a RWBY OC as his avatar and a whopping one-hundred-and-seven ‘fics on his profile. Most of them are dubious anime-focused shipfics, which apparently he got paid for since the majority of his profile page is an advertisement to take commissions at 0.01 cents per word (or possibly 0.03 cents per word, depending on where on the page you are looking).
This one, though, appears to be a self-motivated effort.
I would have paid him 0.05 cents per word to delete every trace of it so that I never have to deal with it again.
Happy New Year, dear Patrons! I hope everyone who celebrated is sufficiently recovered by now, because I have the last two chapters of fic to serve up.
In the first two chapters we were introduced to Emay, a formless nekomimi with a terrible case of Melodramatic Teenager Syndrome, who has just moved into a gigantic house with a pumpkin patch full of monsters and skeletons under the living room.
:flips through notes:
There was also a dumbwaiter involved, because reasons.
:flips through notes again:
That was basically it, I think. To the fic!
Generic greetings, dear Patrons! I hope everyone has had a pleasant Winter Celebration Season. I have one more little fic that I thought I would pull out before the end of the year, because it is quite short. And also because it’s an absolute grammatical train-wreck.
Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?
This is for my sister so please no flames. Rating’s may change
Well, that was … terse. Now, on to the fic!
Co-Hi I’m doing this for my sis so please no flames.
I’m feeling a sense of something like I’ve seen this before.
…Do you mean ‘prologue’? Because you’re not even close.
And there’s a POV Tag. Awesome. This is already ticking a lot of boxes for me and we haven’t even gotten to the fic proper yet.
There is a place out their ware there are…. Seven doors.
Are these doors wares because they are for sale? Is Bats’ cleaning out his garage or something?
Hello hello all you patrons! Continuing with our Halo theme for these one-shots, here’s something called Don’t Loose Your Way – Halo NG [sic] from ArchiveOfOurOwn!
Welcome, dear Patrons, to the second chapter of Weasley cursing.
And just a lot of cursing in general, most of it on my part.
In the previous chapter we learned about the Weasley Curse, which was basically an easy way to turn ginger via marriage and really doesn’t seem all that bad. The chapter ended shortly after the exchange of vows, and probably before they had actually gone through the “I now pronounce you man and wife” bit, with Harry rambling a bit about the curse with Arthur as if he suddenly knew everything about it. There was something about Bill’s past lives and the Malfoys, not really all that easy to follow.
The Weasley Curse…
Yes, we all know what fic we’re reading. You don’t have to remind us.
Chapter 2: Wedding of Katherine Weasley and Andrew Potter..
That would be the two people Harry seemed intimately familiar with, to the point of carrying multiple pictures of one around on his wedding day.
As is the author’s habit, the chapter begins with an Author’s Note. As is also the author’s habit, it is quite rambling and tries to ‘explain’ things that should probably be in the fic itself.
(AN: Andrew is Andrew Potter, who know who Bernard Weasley and Alastair Malfoy is and all and Katherine Anna Weasley is as well.
That’s wonderful for Andrew Potter, whomever he is when he’s at home, but I guess the rest of us can go piss up a rope.
Hello, dear Patrons, and Happy Festival of Consumerism to all my fellow Americans. And for our international Patrons who live in places that don’t celebrate the American Thanksgiving but still have Black Friday sales – sorry ’bout that.
I’ve decided to ‘treat’ everyone to a short fic from an author who technically hasn’t been in the Library before – AuthorAndrewCharlusPotter. I say technically because damn but does this boy have a lot of sock puppet accounts, including one where he claims to be the real JK Rowling, but doesn’t really make any effort to alter his writing style between accounts and mostly seems to be using them to reinforce his particular brand of rabid fanboy nonsense showcasing a very strange preoccupation with blood, hair color, and the torments of Wizarding Hell visited upon non-canon couples and the authors who write them.
This one starts off relatively ‘normal’ by badfic standards but then drops sharply off the map and into Batshit Crazy Land.
Sounds like fun!
The Weasley Curse
That would be the fic title, yes. There was some vague mentions of a curse in a previous fic – one allegedly written by JK Rowling and not AACP, I might add – but that particular one focused more on the way names of people destined to be together can “sound right” together and some sort of strange blood-bonding marriage ceremony that causes both spouses to die if there’s ever any infidelity instead of the alleged curse.
Like most of the author’s works, this one starts off with a rambling Author’s Note; sorry, with two rambling Author’s Notes.
(AN: All whom marry into the Weasley family become redheads but if a female weasley marries someone outside of the family, she takes on the hair of her husband, while the husband takes the hair of his wife. Before they get together… In other words, if Ginny marries Harry, and Harry marries Ginny, Harry then becomes redhead, while Ginny will be raven haired. So on an so forth, but it only happens with female Weasleys, but not the male weasleys because the male weasley are always redhead even when they are born.)
That’s … That’s not how genetics work. Like, at all.
You might have noticed that yesterday I posted a guest shot and instead I’m posting my riff today. That’s because we were out of spoop-themed guest posts, which was a problem because today is
And we’re going to end this like we started it, with some Star Wars! But, this time the fic is actually about Halloween!
Our Star Wars correspondent is absent this week due to a sudden compelling need to spend all day on the heat rock, so we’ll just muddle through without him.
Onward to glory and summary!
An in-between Story for Two Sith Lords and an elf.
I immediately regret my life choices!
“Two Sith Lords and an Elf” is a collection of various fics written by Warious that is kind of its own little fan canon. Based on the handfull of chapters I read, it’s a super cringy collection of small fics that all star herself. I’ll probably get around to riffing those some day, but you don’t really need to know much about them for this little Halloween spinoff.
Darth Maul and Darth Warious give an account of what happened one October month in preparation for Halloween.
That’s what we call a “nothing fic confirmation” ’round these parts.