Sunday Special: Batman 1939: The Dangers of Being Cold

Title: Batman 1939: The Dangers of Being Cold
Author: Stewart M
Media: Comic Book
Topic: Batman
Genre: Can’t find one (there was a fanfiction upload at one point, but that seems to have disappeared), so let’s call it Mystery/Adventure
URL: Here you go
Recommended by BatJamags

“Oh, Bats is doing a Sunday Special? He must’ve finally gotten through the Backlog of Doom?”

Yeah, no. We’ve still got three more Shadow Warriors chunks and three more fics (all of which are long as balls) to clear before that happens (not to mention any seasonal riffs I break all that up with), assuming I don’t get any further during that time. I just wanted to inject a little positivity into the proceedings before we… proceed.

So, my new tradition (which I actually came up with in September but like hell am I going to go back and screw over the scheduling of my riffs that are already done to implement it) is that I’m going to recommend a good fic between each of my bad fics. Until I run out of good fics, which won’t take overwhelmingly long because I don’t read all that much fanfiction outside of what I do for the Library. But I’m hoping this’ll motivate me to find some more good ones.

Today’s recommendation is a Batman fic because I’m kind of extremely predictable like that. The premise of the fic is that Batman’s first outing as Batman was his real-world publication date of May, 1939, though characters introduced much later like Slade Wilson and Amanda Waller are also featured. The plot concerns a string of corpse thefts escalating into murder, which Batman traces back to a military base outside of Gotham. He’s forced to recruit Catwoman to help him break in and figure out what the corpses are being used for.

It features fantastically intricate worldbuilding, excellent pacing, gripping tension, awesome fight scenes (but not too many), and Amanda Waller being hilariously badass as usual. Also, lots of cutesy little references to stuff (mostly stuff that’s actually relevant to DC continuity, and even the external references are still fairly on-topic), which you could view as a good or bad thing depending on your point of view and how many of them you catch.

There are two sequels. The first one, which wasn’t finished when I read it, is actually a Wonder Woman crossover, but I don’t remember the plot very clearly. I haven’t seen the third and most recent installment at all.

Overall, the original in particular is easily the best fanfic I’ve ever read, and I can’t recommend it enough. I’ll see you guys next time with a considerably less well-written Batman fic.


Random Filler: JLA Retrospective – The Grant Morrison Run

[No post for today. Instead, here’s a thing that I wrote up and had nowhere to post, so I stuck it in the drafts here. I thought you guys might find it interesting since it involves writing and relates to some of my riffs (particularly The Shadow Warriors, which’ll be starting back up in about eight days), even though it’s not fanfiction. So… yeah. Anyway, it’s long for a filler post, but my actual post for tomorrow is a quick little interlude, so I figure that’s a fair trade. – Bats]

Title: JLA Vol 1 (1996)
Author: Grant Morrison (34 issues), Mark Waid (6 issues), Mark Millar (1 issue), J.M. DeMatties (1 issue), D. Curtis Johnson (1 issue)
Media: Comic Book
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Generic Alien Invasions / Nonsense / Nonsensical Alien Invasions / Villains Bragging a Whole Bunch / Invading Alien Villains Bragging a Whole Bunch / Asskicking / Kicking Invading Aliens’ Generic Asses / Bat-Wank / Silver Age Throwbacks / Throwbacks to Silver Age Alien Invasions / Oh By the Way Did I Mention the Fucking Aliens
URL: n/a, but it’s available on DC Universe and Comixology if you’re interested
Critiqued by BatJamags

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with something completely random. This is just a recap and critique of a comic series that I’m reading. To work my way up to this, I’m going to have to give you a very abridged history lesson on the Justice League (with excessive wiki links for those who are interested).


The Justice League of America was introduced in a series of three issues of DC’s team-up series The Brave and the Bold during 1960. The stories featured five members: Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, the Flash, Green Lantern, and Aquaman. Superman and Batman were shown to be members but couldn’t be properly used due to editorial stupidity. This was lifted when the League got their own series three months after their debut. They proceeded to have wacky, cheesy, and mostly forgettable sci-fi adventures as was common in the Silver Age of Comics (~1956-1970). Green Arrow and the Atom joined almost immediately while Hawkman and Black Canary came a bit later. Into the Bronze Age (~1970-1987), the Justice League had a remarkably consistent roster. Martian Manhunter had an extended absence and Batman and Green Arrow each threw brief hissy fits where they left the team, but they mainly expanded, rounding out the classic roster with Elongated Man, Red Tornado, Hawkgirl/Hawkwoman, Zatanna, and Firestorm. Their adventures continued to be fairly wacky, if somewhat more Socially Relevant™, because it was the ’70s and that was how everybody rolled back then.

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2253: A Thousand Cuts – Oneshot

Title: A Thousand Cuts
Author: TheAutisticDuo
Topic: Borderlands 2
Category: Video Game
Genre: Hurt/Comfort / Sci-Fi
Critiqued by Crazy Minh



CZM: Hello, and welcome back to the Minh and Biskit show. I’m your guest-reviewer host, Crazy Minh…

Biskit: …and I’m Biskit, the guest-guest-reviewer trapped in the body of a stuffed toy!

CZM: Yeah…we’re working on that.

Biskit: Are we? I could finally be able to…

CZM: Today…oh my god. So, I know many of you will have read Lyle’s review of My Immortal, read the piece or just heard of the terribleness of that…said fic…

Biskit: …Wow…just cut me off like that every time. I’ll be fine, don’t you worry…

CZM: This one…this is a treat. Imagine My Immortal in one chapter set in the Borderlands universe, written by a person who claims quite insultingly to be autistic. Seriously, EP does it, alongside 3/5 badfic writers. I’m aspie, and it pisses me off when people use it as a excuse for lazy or otherwise terrible writing. I happen to actually have been diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, and while my writing isn’t of the same level as- say- Herr, it’s still pretty decent for someone whose only been writing and publishing fanfiction for two years.

Biskit: Now, we have to admit something: we both have a vendetta against this author. For one, he’s been very unreceptive to our attempts to ask if we can help, and has been downright racist at one point. I can tell you that while Minh has actually got Chinese family, he considers himself Australian. That still doesn’t make calling someone a ‘chink with bad breath’ (actual quote from the author, albeit with better grammar) acceptable. Not fucking kidding. He called my partner a chink with bad oral hygiene.

CZM: Thanks for reminding me…in any case, yeah: he’s been a asshole, and we don’t have anything in kind words to say about him/them. But despite this, we’re riffing his fiction, not the author. He’s like a less mature and less capable (if that could even be possible) version of EP. Imagine that for a second. Yeah. You wish you didn’t now, don’t you?

Biskit: We’ve gotten off track here, so let’s just get into what this is. For those of you who don’t know, Borderlands is a series of action RPG shooters set on a planet in the far future. Each game features a crack team of Vault Hunters, whose goal is to open alien vaults rumoured to contain shittons of loot and treasure. It’s gameplay is very centred around shooting and looting. There have been three ‘main’ games (Borderlands and it’s sequel Borderlands 2; as well as the spinoff ‘Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel’) as well as a mobile game (Borderlands Go) and a telltale games adaptation called ‘Tales from the Borderlands’. If you haven’t played, pick up a copy off Steam while it’s on sale. Pretty much every Christmas, they put it down from nearly $80 Australian to a fantastic price of around $20. This is for the GOTY edition of BL2 by the way, which features all the DLC, including 2 new Vault Hunters and four new mini-campaigns…

CZM: Ok, now you’re off track, AND you’re advertising a game. Not to mention that we are not affiliated with the company Gearbox, or any of it’s business partners.

Biskit: Aw…there goes my retirement benefit…anyway, this story is kinda the tamest of TAD’s stories…so let’s get into it!

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2252: Mandalorian Effect – Chapter 11

Title: Mandalorian Effect
Author: Nicranger
Media: Film/Video Game
Topic: Star Wars/Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 11
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with more of Mandalorian Effect, the fic that will be putting itself out of our misery in short order.

Last time, Smugularity had an obnoxious battle sequence, then embraced his mission to conquer the galaxy. Let’s go.

“How are things coming along Liara?” Asked Alren as he stepped into the lab.

It had been two days since his ascension to Mandalore and while the young leader had his doubts he had actually acclimated quite well to the position. In fact it was as if nothing had changed at all save for the fact that news had spread across the extranet like wild fire making him the most talked about subject in the galaxy currently.

Because of fucking course he was.

But that didn’t matter since Alren was now checking up on Liara cause as soon as his coronation was over she had thrown herself head first into studying the beacon they had saved.

Somehow, I don’t think the author quite understands how causality works.

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How to Not End Up in the Library: What is a Mary Sue? – The BatJamags Take

[Filler post for today. We’ll be back with your regularly scheduled madness tomorrow.]

I’ve titled this post to allow the other Librarians the chance to present their own interpretations, since I know not everybody uses my definition. “Mary Sue” is a term that’s been thrown around a lot since before the internet even existed. It’s been used, reused, and in many cases roundly mocked. There’s no one definition that encompasses every use of the term, so I’m actually less interested in defining it and more in defending why I rely on the definition that I do. I’ll start at the end and show you what I’d use as a dictionary definition:

“A Mary Sue is a character in a work of fiction who receives unjustified special treatment or attention from the narrative.”

So, I had a few concerns I wanted this definition to cover:

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2246: Mandalorian Effect – Chapters 9 and 10

Title: Mandalorian Effect
Author: Nicranger
Media: Film/Video Game
Topic: Star Wars/Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapters 9 and 10
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with more of Mandalorian Effect, a fic starring a guy who has become such a concentrated mass of smugness that he’s collapsed into a cosmic event: the smugularity.

Actually, that’s a better nickname than Dickhead. His name is now Smugularity.

Last time, in what was actually a well-executed example of dramatic timing, Smugularity returned to *gag* New Mandalore and found it under attack by the geth. The author then shat away any goodwill that earned him when he used an author’s note to reveal that the actually-interesting plotline of Benezia infiltrating the Mandos to steal the Beacon was actually not happening at all. I’d just read too much into the awkward writing. It’s really my fault for assuming that Nicranger understands the concept of subtlety.

New Mandalore, Orbit

Alren looked at the Geth fleet attacking his home with a cold, calculating gaze. He was beyond angry but knew it wouldn’t help him to just rush in there. He may have the technological advantage but he was vastly outnumbered. Sure he could use the Ion cannon that was the Malevolence’s trump card but he wouldn’t be able to take out the entire fleet with it and he would lose the element of surprise.

What’ll it be, Alren? Watching your new home burn, or seeing it consumed by the event horizon of the Smugularity that is your own head?

What he needed was more ships but the Geth were putting up a very powerful jammer that even his technology was having trouble bypassing. Then something struck him. The shipyards had been working on recreating the old Mandalorian Cruisers along with a new ship design that his favorite scientist had cooked up. By his knowledge the ships should have been completed over a month ago.

I believe the Latin term for this type of plot event is machina ex rectum.

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2241: Mandalorian Effect – Chapter 8

Title: Mandalorian Effect
Author: Nicranger
Media: Film/Video Game
Topic: Star Wars/Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 8 –
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with more of Mandalorian Effect, the fic that kinda sucks. A lot.

Last riff, Dickhead was a dickhead. I instituted a counter to tally up particularly infuriating instances of his dickheadedness, but now I’m scrapping it because I was buzzing it every other ficbit.

Let’s get started, shall we?

New Mandalore, Mining Region

Because the entire planet has one singular mining region

“Tali for the love of Mandalore just tell me what it is you want me to see!” Demanded Alren for the hundredth time as the Qurian women just continued to smile and lead him along one of the many tunnels that made up New Mandalore’s mining district.

“For the love of Mandalore?” Uh, shit-for-brains, you’re Mandalore. That’s what you get to be when you’re in charge of the Mandalorians.

The young leader was not in a very good mood as he had been woken up fairly early and dragged here by Tali because apparently the miners had found something that was very important. Or so Tali had said.

Oh, hell. What new little hunk of bullshit is the fic dumping on him this time?

“No Alren it’s a surprise.” Responded Tali as she continued to drag Alren down another tunnel.

No Alren, and no punctuation either.

Thats a fair tradeoff Ill take it

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