Title: A Prideful Wolf becomes a Disobedient Hunting Dog
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued By Crazy Minh and Biskit
Space, the Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Bongo. Its Five-month mission: To riff terrible Fanfiction. To seek out new levels of dumb and new heights of pretentiousness. To boldly riff where no riffer has riffed before.
CZM: Hello, and welcome back to the Minh and Biskit Show. Today, we’re back to Chapter two of the most pretentious-ass story every to grace this show- as of yet- A Prideful Wolf Becomes…you know, that’s a fucking mouthful. Let’s go with ‘Purple Wolf-Dog’. I mean, that’s significantly easier to both type and say.
Biskit: Hey, I’m a purple dog.
CZM: Yeah, only because your fabric faded a long time ago from black. In any case, He’s Biskit, and I’m Crazy Minh. Let’s dive in folks. Right, red alert; shields up!
Title: A Prideful Wolf becomes a Disobedient Hunting Dog
Topic: Psycho Pass
Critiqued by Crazy Minh and Biskit
WARNING!! THERE MAY BE SOME GIFS IN THIS RIFF THAT FEATURE COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF GORE, OWING TO THE SOURCE MATERIAL. IF YOU HAVE A AVERSION TO BLOOD AND GUTS, BE CAREFUL WHILE READING!!!
CZM: Captain’s Log, Riffdate 701.92.6. Oh dear god, we’re going to need the brain bleach. And possibly the forward Furpvay launchers.
CZM: Someone’s managed to fuck up the second season of Psycho Pass even more than it already was.
Biskit: Dear god…Hello again people, and welcome to another “episode” of the Minh and Biskit show!
CZM: I’m Crazy Minh…
Biskit: …and I’m Biskit…
CZM: …and we have a treat for you today! A new canon! So, let’s launch right into it. Psycho Pass is a anime by Gen “The Urobutcher” Urobuchi, a Japanese writer known for some of the best anime ever…and some flops…
…who earns his nickname from his tendency to put copious amounts of gore into his stories
~TRIGGER WARNING: BORDERLINE PEDOPHILIA IN NARRATION~
*Shades sits in the riffing chamber in utter silence; the lights are on, the computer hums softly, but in an unusual twist for the Library, nothing of importance, or even silliness, appears to be happening*
Shades: …Hm? Oh, I’m just waiting. I was told that I had a surprise coming. It’s been… about six hours now, so I’m a little bit worried that I’ve been led on. That, or bloody Bifocals is busy making some horrible new device to kill me with under the pretense of it being a gift. But, fuck it, it’s Christmas, or it will be in three days, so-
*SC, dressed in an ill-fitting Santa costume, bursts through the door and hurls an overly large, bulging red velvet bag at Shades, before quickly slamming the door and locking several hundred varieties of lock, including a solid steel bar through the handles*
Shades: Bloody hell!
Open the bag, you’re welcome for the present, this was all Contacts’ fault.
Shades: I don’t want to open the fucking bag! You said Contacts! And you’re barring the door! That always means bad things!
Look, you little shit, I may or may not be accessory to one of the worst-planned heists in the history of mankind, and for all I know, a platoon of Asari soldiers could be on their way in force as we speak. Apparently, this is Contacts’ Christmas gift to you, so open the fucking bag so that I can dispose of the evidence, tell Contacts you got your present, get General Skullfucker and her Merry Band of Commandos off my ass, and never speak of this day again!
Shades: How did you get wrapped up in a heist?!
OPEN THE GOD DAMNED BAG!
*Shades undoes the knot in the rope tied around the bag and dumps out dozens upon dozens of military-grade firearms – notably, these firearms appear to be of sleek, though alien, design*
Shades: …What was the heist?
Contacts broke into a major weapons distributor on Thessia.
He heard you say that you thought Asari firearms looked neat.
Shades: How did you get involved?
He threw the bag at me while looking for a hiding spot.
Shades: I mean, I’m flattered, but we’re going to have to fake our deaths and change our names.
URL: Chapter- Oh, fuck it. I give up on what chapter we’re on.
Critiqued by Lyle
Hey, howdy, hi, my lovelies!
It’s been a while since we gathered together for this fic so I’ll do a recap and then we will dive right in.
Last time, we had an author’s note that tried to excuse the author’s weird-ass mid-chapter author’s notes. Then we had a chapter where Sakura threw a tantrum because someone in the Akatsuki stole her diary. Yup.
2032 Betrayal – Chapter Eight (Which Is Chapter Nine, But Isn’t Even a Chapter) and Chapter Nine (Which Is Really Chapter Eight But Is Listed as Chapter Ten)Posted: May 14, 2018
*walks into the riffing chamber carrying an extra large coffee in each hand*
Good morning, lovelies!
*sits down at her desk and takes a sip from each drink*
Lina has bribed me to keep her out of today’s riff after what I did to her last week. I am okay with this.
*takes another drink of her coffees before setting them both down on the desk and rubbing her hands together*
I have a treat and a half for you guys today. We’re going to get through more than one chapter of this rhinoceros excrement! Hold your collective groans for after the riff, please. Let’s recap, then get to it.
Last time on “Betrayal,” Sakura and Shikamaru joined the Akatsuki because why the fuck not?
What do you mean, “who the hell are you?” I haven’t been gone that long, have I? I mean, really. How many other owls do you see around here?
Large Warship: Hoo!
Shush, you. *scritches L.W. behind the wings*
Perhaps today’s riff will jog some memories. Or cause some aneurysms.
Welcome back to the next chapter of “Betrayal,” a fic where logic is made up, and the plot doesn’t matter. Last time on this monstrosity of wutness, Sakura ran into Shikamaru and he joined her posse. That’s… it. That’s all that happened last chapter.
Happy New Year, lovelies! *holds up a wine glass in a toast* Welcome back to “Betrayal!” Are you ready to start this year with a metric ass-load of gibberish? No?
Last time on this disaster, the entirety of Konoha hung out in Sakura’s apartment and got attacked by Female Demon Puss in Boots. Sakura and the other cat, which was supposed to be a neko-girl but the author forgot this while writing, hung out in a tree. Author’s notes continued to be pointlessly prolific.
*raises glass again* Strap in, lovelies. Here we go!