2032 Betrayal – Chapter Eight (Which Is Chapter Nine, But Isn’t Even a Chapter) and Chapter Nine (Which Is Really Chapter Eight But Is Listed as Chapter Ten)Posted: May 14, 2018
*walks into the riffing chamber carrying an extra large coffee in each hand*
Good morning, lovelies!
*sits down at her desk and takes a sip from each drink*
Lina has bribed me to keep her out of today’s riff after what I did to her last week. I am okay with this.
*takes another drink of her coffees before setting them both down on the desk and rubbing her hands together*
I have a treat and a half for you guys today. We’re going to get through more than one chapter of this rhinoceros excrement! Hold your collective groans for after the riff, please. Let’s recap, then get to it.
Last time on “Betrayal,” Sakura and Shikamaru joined the Akatsuki because why the fuck not?
What do you mean, “who the hell are you?” I haven’t been gone that long, have I? I mean, really. How many other owls do you see around here?
Large Warship: Hoo!
Shush, you. *scritches L.W. behind the wings*
Perhaps today’s riff will jog some memories. Or cause some aneurysms.
Welcome back to the next chapter of “Betrayal,” a fic where logic is made up, and the plot doesn’t matter. Last time on this monstrosity of wutness, Sakura ran into Shikamaru and he joined her posse. That’s… it. That’s all that happened last chapter.
Happy New Year, lovelies! *holds up a wine glass in a toast* Welcome back to “Betrayal!” Are you ready to start this year with a metric ass-load of gibberish? No?
Last time on this disaster, the entirety of Konoha hung out in Sakura’s apartment and got attacked by Female Demon Puss in Boots. Sakura and the other cat, which was supposed to be a neko-girl but the author forgot this while writing, hung out in a tree. Author’s notes continued to be pointlessly prolific.
*raises glass again* Strap in, lovelies. Here we go!
*flounces into the room with a giant mug of eggnog in her grip*
Welcome back to Betrayal! And speaking of betrayals, all my helpers abandoned me this week when they found out I’d be doing this fic instead of PB:LiW. As I’m on my own, I figured I’d need some foritifcation to make it through.
*sits down in her chair and sets the mug on the desk before pulling a bottle of Fireball Whiskey from her desk drawer*
This should do it!
*adds a generous glug to her eggnog then takes a big swig from her mug*
Now that I’m ready to go, let’s recap. Sakura encountered a couple of demon children and they all exited the forest into the forest, while Naruto et al ate ramen and then went to… someone’s… house. Sakura may or may not have teleported into the scene to hit Naruto. The details are about as muddled as the author’s notes are prolific.
Hello, everyone! Happy Monday and welcome back to Betrayal. Last time we went through this fic, a lot of cracked-out stupid happened. There was something about Sakura summoning her demon creature who may or may not have killed Ino and then ate her. Neji was overpowered by Sakura and then everyone had a party in the hospital while Neji admitted to Sakura kissing him. This is a bid deal because blue.
I’ve been under the weather lately, so hopefully this chapter doesn’t kill me. Let’s do it.
Koori: Hello everyone! Miss Lyle is at work today – and tomorrow for that matter – in order to get a five-day weekend that starts on Friday, we will be handling the riff today.
Lina: A five-day weekend would just be a week off, there, Perky.
Koori: Not listening! So last time on this piece of crap, there was a confrontation of sorts between Sakura and a bunch of ANBU that aren’t actually ANBU. Bascially, the author just name-dropped enough of the main characters to try to appear as if she’s actually seen the show or read the manga. By the end of the chapter, Sakura summoned something.
Lina: Don’t forget about the copious author’s notes scattered throughout this thing, too. Those have been as much fun as pulling teeth.
Hello, lovelies! After some consideration (not a whole lot, mind you, just some) I’m dropping SONIC HIGH SCHOOL. It was sapping my will to live and just wasn’t funny anymore. So good riddance to the trollfic. Let’s get back to the crackfic I’m doing, instead!
Last time, Sakura ran into Ino, who was turned into a moss-covered cat. Ino told Sakura that she has a demon inside of her and then Sakura fake-exploded, the author threw a random-ass note into the middle of the fic explaining that Sakura didn’t actually explode, made fun of Ino, and then resumed the story. Sakura decides to follow Ino’s advice of skipping town and we find out that Ino is actually serving a dark master (that the author reveals in her author’s notes to be Madara Uchiha, because what the hell is suspense and mystery about, right?)
With that, let’s start the next chapter, which is really an author’s note, because Darksakudragon doesn’t put enough author’s notes before, during, halfway through, and at the end of the prose as it is.