WARNING: This fanfiction contains several NSFW elements, including possible scenes of sexual activity with a minor. I do plan on skipping over all portions of the fic with underage sexual activity, but reader discretion is HIGHLY advised.
Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back for more chapters in the fucking Pokemon child pornography fanfic. I’m your host Herr Wozzeck, and…
Well, since we’re really gonna do this fic some more, let’s just get right into it, yes? Anything I could say at this moment really won’t change the fact that this is written by a guy who really needs the services of a mental health professional, so let’s just get into it!
Hello, dear Patrons! Now that it’s a new year, I can bring out another Skyrim fic without feeling like I’m driving the source materials into the ground.
I can’t help it. I love a good work of fiction with deep lore that also lets me shoot frost trolls repeatedly in the face with arrows. Any-hoo, let’s take a look at the summary and I’ll show you what attracted my attention to this fic.
Caeila grew up a warrior, a prodigy, a blue-blooded noblewoman destined for greatness (yet she only wanted freedom). Azrael was a troublemaker, a bastard, a reject of society on a downwards spiral (yet she only wanted redemption). It was the Imperial City that brought them together, but it is Helgen that keeps them inseperable. (Two Dragonborns, Femslash)
So this fic is going to feature not one, but what appears to be two special little snowflakes that have a lot of potential to be Sues. A Dragonborn (or dovahkiin) is a mortal born with the soul of a dragon; something so rare that prior to the events of Skyrim, there had been no known dovahkiin for centuries. The Elder Scrolls wiki only lists a handful of known dovahkiin – but also includes the entire Septim lineage, which I take issue with since the ability to be a dovahkiin does not appear to be an inherited trait but spontaneously occurs in the population. Having two dovahkiin appear in the same location at the same time is akin to having a unicorn crap out a leprechaun; a fantastical feat of luck that perplexes the hell out of you. It makes me wonder if the author wanted to have a character that was both a high-born aristocrat and a low-born thief but couldn’t figure out how to give one character two Tragek Backstories so they had to divide them into two characters. And possibly will have them make out with each other, which sounds a bit weird now.
Now, on to the fic!
Title: Voice Above, Sky Within
Which starts off with another title bit. Yay.
Pairings: F/F, Caeila/Lydia, Caeila/Aela, Azrael/Astrid, Azrael/Vex, Azrael/Sapphire, Iona/Vex
And has a long list of many female characters that will eventually hook up, like all good works of fiction. Wouldn’t Pride & Prejudice be a much better book if you knew in advance who was going to end up together at the beginning?
Title: If Brawls Subspace Emissary had dialogue
Media: Video Game
Topic: Smash Brothers
URL: Mario and Pit chase the Ancient Minister, and Diddy Kong, trying to forget Donkey Kong, swings through the jungle
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck
Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back for more of this utterly pointless foray into the Super Smash Brothers story mode.
Oh, did I say “utterly pointless”? Yeah, I meant that. One other problem that jumps out at me with this fic is that it just really doesn’t have much of a reason to exist. But, you know, that should be obvious to literally anybody who played the original mode. I mean, if it was able to tell its story adequately and the dude just couldn’t figure it out, that’s his problem, you know?
Alas, my bile fascination is what it is. So let’s just get going, shall we?
Title: Scott Pilgrim X Mass Effect
Media: Video Game/Movie/Graphic Novel
Topic: Scott Pilgrim/Mass Effect
URL: Scott Pilgrim X Mass Effect – Chapter 5
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck
Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back for more Scott Pilgrim X Mass Effect. I’m your host Herr Wozzeck, and today…
Can we just get this over with? I have the horrible feeling we’re just stalling for time at this point, and I think we really need to get this over with as soon as possible. Especially given the mass stupidity we can expect out of this fic at this juncture.
Let’s do this! Read the rest of this entry »