2506: Olympus: The Immortal Child – Part Four

Title: Olympus: The Immortal Child
Author: crazyCULTure
Media: Books
Topic: Percy Jackson and the Olympians
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Olympus: The Immortal Child
Critiqued by Angie

Hey, friends. Glad you decided to join me for the undoubtedly thrilling conclusion of The Immortal Child. The author has quite a bit to write in this final chapter, such as the second and third act entirely. They plan to do this in fourteen hundred words I guess, so let’s not waste any more time and get to reading.

The next day, nothing especially major happened. All right, that’s a lie. I was all new to everything, so everything that did happen was major.

I guess we’re ending this where we started, with aggressively meaningless, redundant statements.

The night before, after orientation and all that stuff I hate so much I won’t even write about, I was taken to dinner. They’ve got the best stuff. They had grilled chicken, pork and beans, Mac ‘n cheese, and salad. Well, what can I say? They have to throw in something healthy in there.

I guess it’s not, like, the most healthy thing in the world, but grilled chicken? That’s not terrible for you. Is it because it’s not vegan? I mean, I guess that could be the case because I assume her father raised her vegan, but she was craving some McDonald’s in the first chapter so I don’t think grilled chicken should matter to her that much. Even if it does, it’s still healthy. So I don’t know what her point is.

The drink was just as amazing. Two kids with curly black hair passed them out to everyone sitting down at the tables. The cool thing about the cup (or the drink) was that it could be whatever drink I told it to be. I spent about five minutes saying “hot chocolate”, “lemonade”, “strawberry juice”, and “soda”.

…mango milkshake?

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2505: Olympus: The Immortal Child – Part Three

Title: Olympus: The Immortal Child
Author: crazyCULTure
Media: Books
Topic: Percy Jackson and the Olympians
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Olympus: The Immortal Child
Critiqued by Hiraani and Queen Malieasha of Jacelajoglia

Queenie: My, but it’s nice to be referred to by my actual title again. It feels like it’s been years.

It has been just over two years. I’m real sorry about that, Malie.

Queenie: I’m sorry Angie already decided to bounce and leave this chapter to us.

Pretty sure she just wanted to reestablish God’s favorite power couple.

Queenie: That’s probably it. Anyway, in the last riff, luck killed a policeman demon (irony?), Wendy ate strawberries like an absolute edgelord, and our main character met a boy that she described with an analogy to black pepper.

Wendy’s mindset is super food oriented, apparently.

Queenie: With recaps out of the way, let’s continue.

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2497: Olympus: The Immortal Child – Part Two

Title: Olympus: The Immortal Child
Author: crazyCULTure
Media: Books
Topic: Percy Jackson and the Olympians
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Olympus: The Immortal Child
Critiqued by Angie and Queenie

Queenie.

Queenie: No.

Queenie.

Queenie: Fuck off.

What if I don’t?

Queenie: I’ll send a strongly worded letter to Taco.

But don’t you want to watch me suffer?

Queenie: Always. But in having me riff it with you you’re making me suffer too.

What if I…take you to Denny’s afterwards?

Queenie: *groans* Alright, fine. What’s happened so far?

Jack shit. The author basically kept saying the same things over and over for several hundred words.

Queenie: I think I’m caught up.

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2489: Olympus: The Immortal Child – Chapter One

Title: Olympus: The Immortal Child
Author: crazyCULTure
Media: Books
Topic: Percy Jackson and the Olympians
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Angie

Wow.

Jee-zus.

Uhh…hey everyone, it’s been a hot minute, huh?

If nothing else, it’s been long enough for me to finally watch the Star Wars franchise, the entire MCU, the X-Men franchise, and the Jurassic Park series. I even played Mass Effect for the first time (as far as you know). Imagine all the new fanfiction topics I can riff on now.

*cough*

Anyway, here’s a Percy Jackson fanfiction I found on the orphans sheet.

Don’t look at me like that, I’m lazy. Shut up.

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1952: Jumanji II – Prologue

Title: Jumanji II
Author: Moonlight Willows
Media: Movies
Topic: Jumanji
Genre: Adventure/Suspense
URL: Jumanji II
Critiqued by Angie

What’s going on, everybody? My name is Angie and today I’m taking the CinemaSins way of choosing topics. Since “Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle” recently came out to just…

…just the worst reviews, we’re going to be riffing it.

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