2366: The Purple Queen – Chapter 12

Title: The Red Queen
Author: Dravyn LeCrux
Media: Web Series
Topic: RWBY
Genre: Drama/Tragedy
URL: Chapter 12
Critiqued by BatJamags

The Superior Spider-Grimm

Uwaah count: 12
A Sentence Fragment count: 30

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with another exciting chapter of The Red Queen! Last time, Bat-Ozpin learned that the reports of Sueby’s death were so blatantly fake a brain-dead squirrel could see it greatly exaggerated and sent Yang and Jaune to go look for her. Meanwhile, Sueby went to a place and bought things and maybe saw Roman Torchwick. The latter sequence of events took up the bulk of the wordcount because of course it did.

So, let’s dive into the next chapter!

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2365: Diary of an Outsider – Chapter 2

 

Author: IMakeBadPuns
Media: Video Game
Topic:  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another chapter/ diary entry from our tweenaged LegolaSue whose name I’ve completely forgotten. The last chapter ended with her getting ready to head up to Bleak Falls Barrow with her “brother-elf” Faendal. I’m sure that’s going to go very well.

This chapter starts off with an Author’s Note.

A/N – Hey guys, IMBP here. This is the first story I’ve ever written. Everyone has to start somewhere right? But regardless of how many I may write, everyone needs reviews in order to improve. So far out of my 8 views, only 1 person has reviewed it (thank you distant-echoes), which is alright I suppose but more is always better. I would prefer if it was all constructive criticism, but I’m not gonna cry over something like “Your story sucks”. Anyhoo, I’m probably boring you by now so here’s Chapter 2. If you like it, please Follow/Favourite.

Well, aren’t you in for a treat.

Sundas the 24th of Last Seed

Hey You. That’s what I’ve decided to call you. Imagination isn’t my strong point.

I would have never guessed.

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2364: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Twenty, Part Three

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Retired Darth Lord Crunchy

Hey, patrons, welcome back!  We’re finally going to finish off chapter twenty this week which means I’ll get to take some time to palate cleanse with some juicy one-shots.  But until then, Crunchy, hit us with that recap action!

“Top Ramen Instant Noodles, the only reward your little hero needs.  Ever.  Try our new Mushroom Orientation flavor!”

Excellent, let’s see what we’ve got this week.

Ashei awoke to the sound of a nearby shower and the absence of a person that had been sleeping next to her throughout the night.  She blinked multiple times to clear the sleep from her eyes as she lay on her back, staring at the ceiling.

“Why do the Zora have showers?”

How else are they supposed to rinse off after a swim?

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2363: Sonichu — Issue 3 Sub-Episode 4 and Issue 4 Sub-Episode 5

Title: Sonichu
Author: Christine Weston Chandler, aka. Christopher Weston Chandler, aka. Christian Weston Chandler, aka. Chris-Chan
Media: Webcomic
Topic: Sonic The Hedgehog / Pokemon / IRL / Yu-Gi-Oh
Genre: “Parody”, apparently.
URL: Issue 3 Template Box and Issue 4 Template Box
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to the wonderful world of Sonichu!

Previously, Hedgehog Of Color tried to steal a McGuffin, but a cluster of recolored Sonichus with elemental powers beat the stuffing out of him and took it back.

That’s… literally it.

Typo Cunter: 61

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2362: The Purple Queen – Chapter 11

Title: The Red Queen
Author: Dravyn LeCrux
Media: Web Series
Topic: RWBY
Genre: Drama/Tragedy
URL: Chapter 11
Critiqued by BatJamags

Do you ever wonder why we’re here?

Uwaah count: 12
A Sentence Fragment count: 15

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with the thrilling continuation of The Red Queen! Last time, not much of any importance happened. This time, not much of any importance will continue to happen. Let’s have a look, shall we?

A sigh.

A Sentence Fragment count: 16

That was the only sound in the otherwise calm and quiet office that belonged to Professor Ozpin.

Hey, would you keep that racket down? With all the sighing going on, I can barely hear myself think.

The days had dragged on quite a bit, especially with preparing for the upcoming tournament. The chosen students were being given extra training time, were excused from class if necessary, etc.

Abbreviations in the narration are just my favorite.

The paperwork accompanying all of this had to go through Ozpin, and his workload just increased and increased. The matter with Ruby, however, was still one of his main concerns, as if what he and Yang thought was true, then that would mean there is a young huntsman or huntress that has the wrong prey in their sights.

I mean, yeah, at least one of my students probably murdered somebody, but have you seen all this paperwork?!

This was something Ozpin had to work on and remedy as soon as he could, but he also had to do it discreetly. If the general student populace knew about this, it could cause panic, paranoia, or in the worst case scenario a witch hunt might break out.

Not sure what their problem with Glynda would be, but sure. Wouldn’t want to do anything that would move the plot along.

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2361: Diary of an Outsider – Chapter 1

 

Author: IMakeBadPuns
Media: Video Game
Topic:  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Adventure/Friendship
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another short little fic I found while wandering Skyrim’s section of ff.net. It’s not a crossover with anything, but it does have “diary” in the title which usually indicates a transcription of a character’s gameplay. Let’s check out the summary!

This is a set of diary entries following one of my Skyrim characters, a female Bosmer named Eira Bowmaster. I honestly have no idea where I’m going with this, but I feel like Eira might form strong friendships (maybe more) with Lydia, Aela and a couple more characters. We’ll just have to see where this goes. Rated T, might change back to M if it gets too violent.

I’m inferring a couple of things from this; this is the author transcribing their gameplay, probably as they go and without planning out any sort of coherent narrative, but they might want to add in some yuri bits and/or fanservice featuring a few of the female characters from the game or just want to make it seem that way as a kind of clickbait.

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2360: Legend of Zelda: The True Force – Chapter Twenty, Part Two

Title: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Author:  Hikari no Vikki
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Legend of Zelda / Star Wars
Genre: Adventure / Fantasy
URL: Legend of Zelda: The True Force
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Retired Darth Lord Crunchy

And we’re back!  Two more chunks of this chapter to go and then I can spend a few weeks pallet cleansing with one-shots.  But until then, we’ve got some work to do.  Crunchy?

“Hmm?  Oh, apologies, I was just distracted by this article in the Zora Gazette.  According to this, a new class-action suit has been filed against WaterBnB Inc regarding unclear, misleading, and falsified occupancy and bed count information in their reservation system.  If successful, claimants would be compensated one pro-rated heroic feat per reservation.”

Huh, well I guess we don’t really need an unhelpful recap.  Let’s jump back into the highschool romance already in progress.

“Must we?”

Well, it’s what we’re here for.

Link nodded, suddenly hearing the click of the door lock behind him, and he stilled at the knowledge that he was sharing a room with Ashei.

Speaking of… where was…?

“What do you want to eat?” Came a voice off to the left of him.

Gah!  Shit, not only does this room not have enough beds, but it’s got a disembodied voice too!?

“Some have been know to pay extra for haunted lodgings.”

‘Some’ are bad with money.

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