Title: No One in this World is Perfect
Author: Draco Malfoy is Blonde
Media: Books / Movie
Topic: Harry Potter / The Great Gatsby
URL: No One in this World is Perfect
Critiqued by Addicted Reader
::Addicted Reader wanders absent-mindedly into the Riffing Room::
Oh, there are Patrons here! I guess I should do a riff. Hold on, let me go find something.
::starts rummaging through ff.net::
Well, last time we were in the Harry Potter crossover section, specifically the bottom of the list where the canons with exactly one crossover story are listed. Let’s keep looking there.
::scrolls for a while::
Oh, Great Gatsby! That must be that odd little underwear fic from a while ago.
Huh, it’s something else.
::spends a while clicking links and mumbling something about dashes and underscores::
Ok, so there are two listings for “Great Gatsby” under HP crossover. There are four fics, including the underwear one, under one listing and just this one under the other. The fic is short and the summary presents a premise worth looking at, so here goes:
Short conversation between Jay Gatsby and Severus Snape; because women are fickle or dead. (Gatsby didn’t die.)
Hello again, dear readers. Welcome to the third and final chapter of the only Harry Potter x 101 Dalmations crossover fic on ff.net, “Mr De Vil.” It’s been a rather pointless and grammatically irritating ride so far. Cruella De Vil’s little brother, age thirty, who has not been given a first name, is off to Hogwarts for an unknown reason with an unexplained “plan.” He met Harry, Ron, and Hermione and then fell on his ass and ran away.
Let’s finish this off, shall we?
Welcome back, Patrons, to the weird little Harry Potter x 101 Dalmations fic “Mr De Vil.” Last time, in Chapter One, Mr. [Error: Name Unknown] De Vil, the little brother of Cruella De Vil from the Disney movies, spent a while talking to himself in the mirror. It seems that he’d been invited to Hogwarts to teach, except not yet, and he wanted to get his greeting to Harry just right. It is not explained why. And then he ran off to catch the train to Hogwarts.
Let’s join him there …
Hello again, loyal readers. I really don’t know why you keep on coming back, other than some masochistic tendencies, but since you’re here, I may as well find something for us to look at.
For my last riff, I decided to wander back into the Harry Potter cross-over section since there’s so much there. This time, I stayed there and started scrolling through the list of canons that have exactly one HP cross-over fic, and I found this: HP x “101 Dalmations.”
I know. I had to go look, and here it is!
Hello again, Dear Patrons. In search of a fic to riff for your entertainment this week, inspired by Ghostie’s recent project, I wandered back into the Harry Potter crossover section of ff.net. There’s a lot of stuff there. And to my surprise (though it probably shouldn’t have been), there are a lot of fics for HPxHIMYM. For those unfamiliar, that’s “How I Met Your Mother,” a sit-com about a group of 20-to-30-something-year-old friends living in NYC and dating each other that ran from 2005 through 2014.
There really doesn’t seem to be any logical way of combining these two canons, but when has that ever stopped fic authors?
In a small riffing chamber on a nearly-abandonded floor of the Library, all that can be heard are the distant sounds of explosions and ensuing screams from other parts of the Library. By the little light that comes in around the heavy curtains pulled across the single large window, it is just possible to make out a bed in the far corner. A certain lumpiness of the covers indicates that it is occupied.
The silence is broken unexpectedly by the ringing of a phone. A hand snakes out from the clump of blankets and pokes at the phone until the near-silence returns.
The phone rings again, and this time the hand is followed by a head emerging from the covers. Addicted Reader squints at the phone, groans, and answers it.
It’s Monday again? Already?
Yeah, but Lyle and I are alternating Mondays. She should be on today.
What do you mean it’s my turn?
It’s been two weeks since my last riff?!?!?!
Fine, fine, give me a minute to freshen up.
Addicted Reader stumbles to the small powder room attached to the riffing chamber and emerges after a few minutes wearing clean clothes and with hair brushed.
Ok, let’s get some light in here. ::opens curtains wide::
Too much light! ::closes curtains most of the way::
Ok, so did I really just sleep for two weeks? Geez. That last riff must have been harder on me than I realized. Let’s take a quick peek, shall we?
Oh, right. This thing.
Hello again, dear Patrons!
I know you were looking forward to another terrible chapter of Lyle’s Naruto fic, but she has a lot going on IRL these days. I do, too, so we decided to split Monday posts. So you’ll just have to suffer my snark for a week before she comes back.
So, having finished that long (for me), poorly underwritten “Snow White” fanfic, I’m moving on to a new canon and a new kind of bad writing – an overly flowery, pretentious, short(ish) little fanfic from Terry Pratchett’s Discworld.
Let’s start with the summary:
She had always secretly wanted to travel to Quirm, on a warm summer’s day. When she does, it’s the man, and not the journey, that turns out to be the dream of a lifetime.