2483: Mass Murder Effect: The First War Crime (was Committed by the Protagonists) — Chapter 7 Part 3

Title: Mass Effect: The First War
Author: ProfFartBurger
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 7
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Mass Effect: The First War.

Last time, the turian fleet made its way to Earth and was preparing to land ground troops thanks to their fell mastery of *shudders in horror* tactics, and also Christopher Mc-Chan was wandering around hitting things with a hammer and trying to produce antimatter which I thought the Alliance already had and just in general being obnoxious. Also apparently he has some kind of cybernetic implant called a ‘Brain Booster’ which somehow excuses his behavior by making it impossible for him to feel fear or whatever, I don’t even care and just want the turians to glass everyone already as we continue to slog through this wanky slaughterfest (slaughtery wankfest?) of a chapter.

first_war_bb_8

IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH counter: 12

We left off just as the narrative lost focus on any actual events and instead decided to wax rich and chunky about how god-damn ‘uge the Alliance First Fleet is.

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2438: The Legend of Zelda: Jurassic Encounters – Chapter 1 – Oneshot

Title: The Legend of Zelda: Jurassic Encounters
Author: Haninator
Media: Movie/Game
Topic: Legend of Zelda/Jurassic Park/Kitchen Sink
Genre: Adventure/Horror
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons!

As the wonderful wonkiness that is my previous fic hasn’t updated yet, I’ve decided to squeeze in a oneshot before embarking on our traditional Spooktober festivities – which for me usually means Slendpai fics. I can’t say that there won’t be sexy Slendpai shenanigans, because I haven’t actually picked out my fics yet, but I also can’t not say there won’t be sexy shenanigans because sweet mercy do people love writing Slendpai tentacle rape fics.

So. Many. Tentacles.

And on that note, let’s take a look at the summary for this fic, which does not have any tentacle rape in it. I think. It’s been a while since I read through it.

A familiar story with a fun twist and a character from another world. What could possibly go wrong. All dialogue is my creation. The story is mine, the characters aren’t… with the exception of select few. Rated T for flesh-ripping dinos.

That doesn’t sound all that bad … Wait, flesh-ripping dinos? I thought this was supposed to be a Zelda fic?

SHINOBI-SAN!

:suddenly a ninja that was always there appears:

I think you brought me the wrong fic, this is supposed to be a Zelda fic.

:whispering:

Crossover? With … WHAT?!?

So it appears that someone wrote a Legend of Zelda/Jurassic Park crossover, which is the second-weirdest crossover I’ve ever heard of.

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2407: Talk Show of Pudding episode 7

Title:Talk Show of Pudding episode 7
Author: memyselfisesshy93 and Ghastlyme4
Media: Kitchen Sink / Video Game
Topic: Kitchen Sink / Legend of Dragoon
Genre: “Humor”/Parody
URL: Talk Show of Pudding episode 7
Critiqued by TacoMagic

And we’re finally here, the final installment of the ill-conceived boredom project: Talk Show of Pudding.  Not only is this the last episode, it also happens to be the episode that attracted my attention to the series.  The only reason I looked at it was because I saw the topic “Legend of Dragoon” on it while taking a spin through the author’s profile, and thus our journey began.

Time to get this over with.

Announcer: Welcome my friends to Talk Show of Pudding. If you are from France then you’re not welcomed.

I find myself being quite envious of the French for getting actively excluded.

CHGN: G4! WTF? You didn’t need to say that!

NONE SHALL BE SPARED OUR STORY!

G4: I didn’t say it. Xavier did.

Announcer: He made me say it.

Huh, Announcer has a name.  I wonder if Xavier and Dave hang out and lament over their lives after each show.

G4: SHUT UP! Anyway… On today’s episode, our guest someone who is a favorite of ours, meaning that I will actually do this right… somewhat. Please welcome “the young flame,” Dart Feld!

What part of that was “somewhat” right?  The part where you didn’t capitalize his wrestling title?

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2402: Talk Show of Pudding episode 6

Title:Talk Show of Pudding episode 6
Author: memyselfisesshy93 and Ghastlyme4
Media: Kitchen Sink / Anime
Topic: Kitchen Sink / Naruto
Genre: “Humor”/Parody
URL: Talk Show of Pudding episode 6
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hello, patrons, it’s Wednesday again so it’s time for Pudding!

No, not the delicious kind, I mean the soul crushing kind.  However, I think I heard Gumdrop yodeling from the kitchen on my way in today, so we might get both.

Anyway, let’s just plorp our way into this one!

Announcer: Welcome species from Earth and Wisconsin!

Greetings back from Wisconsin, Announcer, we will send you our customary gift basket of fresh bratwurst, cheese, and local craft beers.

G4: HAHA! I KNEW IT! I knew people from Wisconsin were alien hybrid, but you people didn’t believe me! Not even Dave!

Rude.  I know somebody who will be getting a face-hugger in their gift basket.

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2395: Talk Show of Pudding episode 5

Title:Talk Show of Pudding episode 5
Author: memyselfisesshy93 and Ghastlyme4
Media: Kitchen Sink / Video Game
Topic: Kitchen Sink / Final Fantasy
Genre: “Humor”/Parody
URL: Talk Show of Pudding episode 5
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, patrons, I’m back from Gen Con and ready to riff!  Had a good time overall and even got to hangout with Ghostcat and Herr a bit.  But you aren’t here to read about what a good time I had, no, you’re here to read about me suffering through another Talk Show of Pudding episode.

Once again no recap of the previous episode because there’s no continuity to speak of.

G4: Welcome back to another episode of Talk Show of Pudding

G4: Welcome back to another episode of Talk Show of Pudding!

And it was at that moment that Gassy found himself unstuck in time.

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2389: Talk Show of Pudding episode 3

Title:Talk Show of Pudding episode 3
Author: memyselfisesshy93 and Ghastlyme4
Media: Kitchen Sink / Anime
Topic: Kitchen Sink / Inuyasha
Genre: “Humor”/Parody
URL: Talk Show of Pudding episode 3
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hello, patrons, and welcome back to another installment of the LOL!Random funtimes known as Pudding Talk.  Since the summary of this episode is just mentioning the interview character, and there’s no continuity worth doing a recap for, we’re just going to jump right in.

G4: We’re here again at Talk Show of Pudding!

CHN: WHY DO I HAVE TO BE IN HERE?

You know the fic is really bad when even the writer wants the hell out.

Camera goes to a cage with CHN in

G4: because you will go all fangirl on the guest (whispers) plus we ran out of straight jackets.

Ignoring everything else going on here in favor of being pedantic: does this mean you finally decided to delineate actions with parenthesis instead of just having the characters say what they’re doing?

That’s a nice bit of improvement.  A shame that it’s completely overshadowed by the rest of the fic being so fucking awful in both concept and execution.

CHN: I would not! I have gain self-control lately!

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2383: Talk Show of Pudding episode 2

Title:Talk Show of Pudding episode 2
Author: memyselfisesshy93 and Ghastlyme4
Media: Kitchen Sink / Anime
Topic: Kitchen Sink / Naruto
Genre: “Humor”/Parody
URL: Talk Show of Pudding episode 2
Critiqued by TacoMagic

It’s Wednesday so you know what that means, patrons!  Pudding time!

I’m so, so sorry.

But not sorry enough to not subject you to this.

Now, since there’s no continuity between episodes to speak of, we can just jump right into episode two without worrying about any kind of recap.  We’ll also skip the summary this week as all it says is, “This ep 2, Gaara is in,” but with more words.

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