1977: Nightmares in Wonderland – Chapters Two and Three

Title: Nightmares in Wonderland
Author:  OnlyALittleMad
Media: Movie / Video Game
Topic: American McGee’s Alice / Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Genre: Suspense/Horror
URL: Nightmares in Wonderland
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, patrons!  Welcome back to Nightmares in Wonderland, the fic that dares to explore the untapped drama of thrift shopping.

Last time, we got a bunch of shoveled American McGee’s Alice plot regurgitation, both from me and the fic, as well as a scene where Charlie is gifted a cursed mirror that was inexplicably for sale, take it for free.  And that’s pretty much it, so let’s just jump into chapter two!

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1976: Bid My Blood To Run — Chapters 2 and 3

Title: Bid My Blood To Run
Author: Jaeger Gypsy Danger
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Romance/Hurt-Comfort
URL: Chapter 2 and Chapter 3
Critiqued By: AdmiralSakai and Senior Cabalist-Lieutenant Rijus Ta’nin

WARNING
The ‘fic under riff today contains potential flamebait in the form of vaguely suicidal behavior and substantially less-than-vague sexism. And also NSFW fanart.
And also a really angry Admiral.

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Bid My Blood To Run, aka. The Animalization Writer’s Guide Is Not A Bingo Game, You Don’t Get A Prize If You Fill In All The Boxes, Oh God Why Did You Try To Fill In All The Boxes.

*sigh*… Twenty-two years in the Cabal Corps, ten in Blackwatch… and still nothing could have prepared me for this.”

So, last time we were introduced to Commander Katherine Shepard, the depressed, horny, and disturbingly spongiform CO of the SSV Normandy. She moped around the captain’s quarters for a while, propositioned Thane, promptly forgot about Thane, and moped some more. Then Garrus Vakarian showed up from nowhere, claimed he was doing what she needed by refusing to leave when she needed him to leave, took off his armor and let Shepard punch him (which somehow resulted in her breaking bones), physically restrained her, and then played “I’ll-fuck-you, I’ll-fuck-you-not” for like a third of the ‘fic before finally settling on “I’ll-fuck-you” when Shepard pretty much just stripped naked in front of him. After that some really legitimately terrifying sex went down with Garrus basically beating Shepard to a pulp because apparently That’s What Turians Do in these sorts of ‘fics, followed by much more pedestrian sex and cuddling. Oh yeah and the turian language has no word for ‘love’ even though it is literally Latin, and turian women get basically no say in whether they enjoy fucking or not.

Animalization Checklist: 16/38

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1975: A Raptor Love – Chapters 4 & 5

Title: A Raptor Love
Author: Neongirl786
Media: Book/Movie
Topic: Jurassic Park
Genre: Romance/Adventure
URL: Chapter 4
URL:  Chapter 5
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dearest Patrons!

Welcome back to this Jurassic Park that has been having fewer and fewer dinosaurs in it as the fic progresses. I’m fairly certain that’s not a bad thing.

In the previous chapter, Vetty Sue, in the grips of some sort of ill-defined illness, started playing tour guide during the automated tour of the park. She’s not very good at it, since the group breezed by some miscellaneous herbivores on their way to the raptor enclosure. I assume this is where most of this chapter will take place.

“And this is the raptor pen”, I declared, walking up the metal stairs towards the observation area.

:sighs:

It frickin’ sucks being right all the time.

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1974: Nightmares in Wonderland – Chapter One

Title: Nightmares in Wonderland
Author:  OnlyALittleMad
Media: Movie / Video Game
Topic: American McGee’s Alice / Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Genre: Suspense/Horror
URL: Nightmares in Wonderland
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Fair warning:  American McGee’s Alice deals extensively with the topics of suicide and mental illness.  Perhaps surprisingly, the game actually handles these topics seriously and with respect, but I cannot guarantee that this fic will retain that degree of respect.

Hey, patrons, welcome to a brand new mini-project!  This time I’m bringing you a short, ten-chapter little romp called “Nightmares in Wonderland,” a cross between American McGee’s Alice, a PC game released in 2000 by EA, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory which could be based on either the novel by Roald Dahl because it’s set in the category for the book or the 2005 Tim Burton movie since something happens in the first chapter that makes it more likely.  Not that it really seems to matter to the plot which the author was attempting to use. And, since this is a fic based on a game that itself was inspired by 9-inch-nails music, expect that plot to get very grymdork very quickly.

Since American McGee’s Alice is a new addition to our list of canons, let’s do a quick infodump on it first.  Shouldn’t take too long because this game is old enough to not have a very robust plot behind it.

The basic premise of American McGee’s Alice is that it takes place after both Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There.  After the events in the books, Alice’s family die in a fire.  Traumatized by this, Alice enters a partially catatonic state and makes several attempts to end her own life and is eventually institutionalized.  The events in the game take place ten years later when her rabbit stuffed animal awaken’s her from her stupor with news that Wonderland is in dire peril and needs her help.  From there you play as Alice as she battles her way through a twisted and corrupt version of Wonderland as it symbolizes her internal struggle with her own madness.  That’s pretty much it.  It was a game released nearly twenty years ago, so plots were still relatively thin back then.  It was a great game at the time, but suffers from its age in much the same way that Ocarina of Time does.

It’s still a good game to play your way through in a historical context, but the lack of many of the niceties of modern gaming definitely makes the game feel old and will provide a good deal of frustration to those who aren’t really used to how games of this vintage operate.  For those not wanting to submit themselves to that, here’s a link to a play-through if you’re interested.  Otherwise, if you want to experience the game first-hand, an HD copy comes packaged with the sequel: Alice: Madness Returns.

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1973: Bid My Blood To Run — Chapter 1

Title: Bid My Blood To Run
Author: Jaeger Gypsy Danger, who somewhat oddly has written no Pacific Rim ‘fics
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Romance/Hurt-Comfort
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued By: AdmiralSakai and Senior Cabalist-Lieutenant Rijus Ta’nin

WARNING

The ‘fic being riffed today contains potential flamebait in the form of yet another borderline-abusive relationship. And also more pseudo-MRA bullshit.
And porn. Lots and lots of porn.

Hello hello all you patrons. Rijus and I are back once more-

Please let me go, or at least let me die with some modicum of honor.”

-with another Mass Effect ‘fic, and while the last one basically forgot that turians existed, this one loves them a little too much.

Summary: A different approach to the FemShep/Garrus relationship. He’s a turian and perhaps not always the kind-hearted and gentle teddy bear we’ve come to expect. Adult situations about adult relationships. Rated M for a good reason.

TITLE: Bid My Blood To Run

CHAPTER: One

AN: Three Evanescence songs “Bring Me to Life,” “Haunted,” and “My Immortal” served as my inspiration. Adult stuff in here.

So, Rijus, are you sure we didn’t somehow end up in an alternate timeline where the Soviet Union took over the entire galaxy, right?

Ummm… fairly, yes. Why?”

Because I’m seeing nothin’ but red flags.

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Sunday Special: Semper Vigilo

Title: Semper Vigilo
Author: CunkToad
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi.
URL: Chapter One

Hello hello all you patrons! We haven’t had a special or feature around here in ages, and with the lingering aroma of Special Task and my being on kind of a Mass Effect kick in general over the next several riffs I figured I’d give a shout-out to a project I’ve been following pretty closely for the last few months.

Semper Vigilo bills itself as an alternate first-contact ‘fic:

What happens when humanity enters the galactic stage not as the race that got attacked by the turians for breaking a law they weren’t aware of, but as the race that saved a turian platoon from certain death?

That does indeed occur, and the strong alliance that develops between the humans and the Turian Hierarchy is a central element of later events. But I think a better way to describe the story would just be “What if the Alliance weren’t expansionist dicks to everybody for no reason, and were instead actually smart?”

Most of the ‘fic as it currently stands is dedicated to political maneuvering within the Alliance and with the other Citadel powers, with a hefty dose of black-ops shenanigans assisting the process. However, as things progress we get to see more and more of the Reapers, and that’s where the story really shines- imagine the cosmic immensity H. P. Lovecraft always tried to shoot for but slightly missed, threaded through with Andrew Hussie’s multi-limbed conspiracy theories, all told through a very clear, immediate, militarily and scientifically professional lens. It’s not clear how much of the previous politicking was the Reapers’ doing, directly or indirectly, but even before ME1 there’s this wonderful sense of the entire galaxy pitching forward to something big.

We also have Liara doing actual science, batarians who actually have a reason for doing what they do, Saren Arterius not being a dick, and the various Citadel races actually having complex politics and policies beyond just “WE HATE ALL THE HUMENS”.

As of this posting, Semper Vigilo has just completed the Eden Prime mission at the start of Mass Effect 1.


1972: Valkyrie: The Unknown Unit – Chapter Four, Part One

Title: Valkyrie: The Unknown Unit
Author: JewishPotato
Media: Video Game
Topic: Overwatch [citation needed]
Genre: Adventure/PAIN.
URL: Chapter Four
Critiqued by SC, Specs, and Scarlet of Mesyth

Scarlet: So, I notice I’m back.

You are, indeed.

Scarlet: What, because I pissed in your corn flakes or something?

Nah. I just figure you deserve a fairer swing at this riffing thing than the last few dregs of my interest in a fic that I’ve grown to despise.

Scarlet: So you instead foist a fic about imbeciles playing at spy games on me.

Hey, you have to admit, it’s far more engaging material.

Scarlet: …Alright, fair.

*Specs wanders in*

Specs: Hello, it is I- oh, hey, it’s that guy!

Scarlet: Oh, hey, it’s this guy!

You two know each other?

Specs: Yeah, he was The Headsman who cut my head off back in Israel!

…Um.

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