1730: Three Generations – Chapter One

Title: “Three Generations”
Author: YinYangProphecy
Media: Literature
Fandom: Enchanted Forest Chronicles
Genre: Family and hurt/comfort
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by eatpraylove

I briefly considered doing this as a PPC mission, but didn’t for three reasons: The chapters don’t have much meat on them, I have enough fics lined up already, and I couldn’t think of a reason for my agents to feel the same protective attachment to the Enchanted Forest series that I do. Also, hi, I’m eatpraylove on the PPC Board. I’ve poked around the halls of the Library plenty of times but never thought to get a WordPress account.

Moving on, let’s start with the canon basics. The Enchanted Forest Chronicles is a fantasy kid’s book series by Patricia Wrede, focusing on Princess Cimorene of Linderwall. Linderwall is your standard Disney-style safe, prosperous fairy-tale kingdom, and the rest of Cimorene’s family—mom, dad, and six older sisters—are your standard Disney royalty, the sisters in particular.

Cimorene wants none of it, and runs away from home to avoid an arranged marriage with the equally generic Prince Therandil in the first book. Thanks to her lack of a plan and a sarcasm-blind talking frog (I swear this makes sense in context), she ends up living and working with Kazul, a dragon who’s been looking for a new princess. Kazul doesn’t mind that Cimorene isn’t a typical princess (Cimorene can cook Kazul’s favorite desserts, for example), and both of them eventually gets roped into a big mystery involving the King of the Dragons, a stone prince, Morwen the witch, and several wizards.

The whole series turns fairy tales and fairy-tale tropes on their heads—the wizards melt when you throw buckets of water (specifically soapy water and lemon juice) at them, for example, not Morwen. It’s great fun to read and deserves all the love it gets and then some.

So naturally, bunches and bunches of folks on the Internet have written their own stories about it with predictably mixed results. Thanks to Sehkmet over on the PPC Board for bringing this to my attention. The first chapter is literally a “don’t like, don’t read, please review” author’s note, so I’m going to the first one with actual substance to it.

Also, this riff will contain spoilers for the entire series, so if you’re sensitive about that sort of thing, go get the books and read them. If you’re not, or you’ve already read all of them, strap in, ready your weapon of choice, and put on your coolest sunglasses.

*sits in comfy riffing chair*

*sips hot cocoa* Ahhh, perfect.

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1623: I’ll protect you – Chapter 10

Title: I’ll protect you
Author: Sessh-Amy
Media: Video Games
Topic: Slender: The Eight Pages
Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
URL: Chapter 10

 

 

 

Hello, Patrons, and welcome to the final chapter!

:does Last Chapter Dance:

For now, anyway. There’s been no activity on the fic for several years, but it’s not listed as completed so there’s always a chance the author will update it.

Most of the last chapter was dedicated to an extended flashback featuring a large group of campers who were attacked by a Spanish witch flinging around pixie dust who forced at least two of the campers to eat human flesh and causing them to transform into wendigoes. (The flashback doesn’t really even show the transformations, just that at least two people were forced to eat human flesh that had been doctored with a strange powder and afterwards they convulsed in pain and blacked out.) There was also something about “helping her son”, but that wasn’t really touched on very much before Spanish Witch started chopping up people with an axe. The whole thing was supposed to explain something about the wendigoes, but it really just raised more questions.

Onward to the fic!

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1616: I’ll protect you – Chapter 9

 

Title: I’ll protect you
Author: Sessh-Amy
Media: Video Games
Topic: Slender: The Eight Pages
Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
URL: Chapter 9

 

 

Welcome back, dear Patrons! We’re nearing the end of this fic, I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. And it looks like I’ll be finishing in time to do a few holiday oneshots, just like last year!

Well, probably not exactly like last year. I can only deal with so much sibcest.

So what happened in the last chapter? Slendpai showed up in Thaddeus’ room and engaged in a bit of inappropriate groping featuring a lot of nipple action, and Thaddeus seemed very confused about the entire incident.

That was pretty much it; the content of the chapters is getting sparser and sparser, which is another sign that the author may be losing interest in the fic.

To the fic!

Warning: the following chapter is not for those who can get easily sick to their stomach.

Oh, dear gods. That’s ominous.

It’s goer ish… well not really hahaha

It’s what?

I think that’s meant to be “gore-ish”, or gory if you want the actual word, which is making me very reluctant to continue reading this chapter.

Note: The italicized paragraphs means you’re reading a memory… you’ll see what I mean.

:headdesk:

You know when would have been a good time to explain that? In the last chapter, where a good third of the work was a memory/dream sequence!

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1607: I’ll protect you – Chapter 8

 

Title: I’ll protect you
Author: Sessh-Amy
Media: Video Games
Topic: Slender: The Eight Pages
Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
URL: Chapter 8

 

—WARNING—

— CONTAINS NIPPLES

—AND HIPS—

 

 

Welcome back to another chapter, Patrons!

The last chapter was mostly a very protracted fight sequence between Slendpai and the three wendigoes which resulted in the dismemberment of Christmas Moose (which is a shame because I really liked that nickname) and the revelation that Slendpai is vulnerable to Horned Gollum’s hypnosis power even though he doesn’t have any frickin’ eyes.

I’ve salted the rafters with mines and posted mercenary squirrels in the vents and ninjas in the hallway so I think I’m safe from Syl and the Society of Smut. Probably. Those girls are harder to get rid of than crabgrass.

To the fic!

 Author’s note*

Huh. The last couple of chapters didn’t have a beginning Author’s Note so I had assumed the trend would continue. Looks like I was wrong.

HEllo HEllo!

The author is Phone Guy?

SO here is the next chapter! I didnt really care to fix mistakes.

Wait, does that mean you’ve been correcting your errors? Because I haven’t seen a lot of evidence to support that claim.

I made read this, she found it humorous.

Think you proper noun there.

Idk if that;s a good thing XD

That would all depend on [ERROR:NAME NOT FOUND]’s sense of humor, since comedy is a very subjective thing. Many people find clowns funny, but there are also many people who find them terrifying.

ENjoy!

~x~

Given that the quality of your writing appears to have degraded quite sharply from the last chapter, I find that unlikely.

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1601: I’ll protect you – Chapter 7

Title: I’ll protect you
Author: Sessh-Amy

Media: Video Games
Topic: Slender: The Eight Pages
Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
URL: Chapter 7

Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Happy Black Friday, beloved Patrons! I hope you’re enjoying and/or enduring America’s annual Festival of Consumerism.

The last chapter featured quite a lot of awkward face-grabbing and snuggling that I’m desperately trying to forget, so let’s move directly into this chapter!

Slender Man P.O.V.

Huh. Looks like we’re sliding right into Slendpai again. I think the lack of prefacing Author’s Notes may be a sign that the author is starting to lose enthusiasm for her fic.

A howl, no, a loud roar came from the forest.

So which was it? Those are two very different sounds.

A low growl erupted from my throat. The pesky creatures have returned to the town.

Oh, no! They might try to do stuff WITH THINGS!

I slowly propped myself up on my elbows, careful not to wake Thaddeus, and listened closely to the passing wind outside the house.

Stop listening to the house farting and concentrate on the howl-roar, dude.

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1595: I’ll protect you – Chapter 6

 

Title: I’ll protect you
Author: Sessh-Amy
Media: Video Games
Topic: Slender: The Eight Pages
Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
URL: Chapter 6
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

—WARNING—

—CONTAINS SCENES OF EXCESSIVE CUDDLING—

 

Hello, dear Patrons!

I hope you were having an enjoyable timepart, because I’m here with another chapter. Sorry about that.

In the previous chapter Thaddeus revealed his sassy bitch side while sniping with his sister before he decided to follow the anime trope path even further and make some home-baked goodies for Slendpai. Thaddeus ventured out to the store for ingredients to make apple tarts and had a brief yet awkward social encounter with Carlos, who is definitely suffering from a severe case of the hots for Thaddeus. Immediately after leaving the store Thaddeus was attacked by Designated Asshole Gerald, who threatened both Thaddeus and Slendpai before releasing the little sorrow sponge. Thaddeus panicked and ran off into the forest to find Slendpai, and to exactly no one’s surprise he became completely lost. He stumbled across a creature the narration later purported to be a wendigo, but was never attacked or even threated by the beast because Slendpai swooped in to rescue Thaddeus.

Thus far their relationship consists of Slendpai stalking Thaddeus and then rescuing the boy when he inevitably gets attacked by someone or something.

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1588: I’ll protect you – Chapter 5

Title: I’ll protect you
Author: Sessh-Amy
Media: Video Games
Topic: Slender: The Eight Pages
Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
URL: Chapter 5
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Happy Double Eleven Day, dear Patrons!

We’ve finally reached the halfway point of this meandering little fic! It’s become painfully obvious that the author has run out of ideas, as the last chapter was nothing but Slendpai walking Thaddeus home after the attack in the woods.

Aside from a few hints that Gerald is going to be seeking non-specific vengeance on someone, possibly Thaddeus but it is also equally likely that it could be Slendpai, that’s literally all that happens in the entire chapter. I’m not really looking forward to the second half of the fic.

Authors Note*

The lack of proper punctuation almost makes it look as if this work was a collaborative effort with someone else.

Hello everyone. I have returned with another chapter to “I will protect you.” I apologies for the long wait, I’ve had terrible writers block.

Well, you’ve already admitted to running out of ideas for this fic and starts soliciting your readers for more. That’s usually a sign that you should take a break and come back to the work later, when you have a fresh pair of eyes.

I was also busy with my last year of high school. You can only imagine how stressful it was :P

:snorts:

Oh, you sweet summer child. If you think your senior year of high school is as bad as it gets, then life is going to kick your ass so very hard.

But now I’m back and I’m here to stay. I would like to thank UrBestCeilingFan for encouraging me to update. Thanks to them I got, how you say, inspired to write future chapter. I thank you humbly! And now here’s the chapter.

Ah, now we know who to “thank” for the rest of the fic.

Enjoy!

Doubtful.

Warning: this story contains Yaoi/ slash/ MalexMale, violence and sexual content.

:headdesk:

You know when it would have been a good idea to add an extra warning? Back in Chapter 3, which featured the attempted rape scene. The fact that there was no warning on that chapter but there is one on this chapter fills me with apprehension.

A reminder! Slender man has been created in my own way. So whatever you think slender man is, he is not in my story.

Yeah, no kidding.

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