789: Homura Afterstory – Chapter Two, Part 3

Posted: July 31, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Homura Afterstory, Puella Magi Madoka Magica | Tags: , , , , | 95 Comments

Title: Homura Afterstory
Author: CaptainAfrica
Media:  Anime
Topic: Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Romance/Suspense
URL: Homura Afterstory: Chapter 2
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back to Homura Afterstory. Well, I guess we’ve gotten a ton of destruction of Madoka’s home canon, and I have the feeling it’s only going to get a lot worse from here.

*sigh*

Well, it at least can’t be any worse than Quarter Quell and its sequels. At least there’s that.

And with that said, let’s get to it, shall we? Strap in, we’ve got a long installment today.

Read the rest of this entry »

788: A Jedi’s Destiny – Chapter Nine Part Two and Chapter Ten

Posted: July 30, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: A Jedi's Destiny, Lion King | Tags: , , , , , , | 71 Comments

Title: A Jedi’s Destiny
Author: Victor Tarsus
Media: Movies
Topic: Lion King / Star Wars
Genre: Sci-Fi / Adventure
URL:  A Jedi’s Destiny
Critiqued by TacoMagic

*WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS POSSIBLE TRIGGERS AND A SCENE OF DOMESTIC ABUSE.  I RECOMMEND SKIPPING IT ENTIRELY*

Welcome back to A Jedi’s Destiny!  After that nice week off to unwind from this steaming fic, we’re going to be right back in the thick of it this week.  And “by the thick of it” I mean “literary feces.”

So far this fic has consisted mostly of a Furry Civilization player’s wet dream.  We have an inactive blackhole Stu by the name of Buster who has and entire kingdom handed to him by a magical sandstorm.  This kingdom is eventually upgraded to a military state by crushing a greek thingy.  This same event causes his entire population of lions to become anthropomorphic.  I think.  The prose is still extremely fuzzy on when things got all anthropomorphized.  Meanwhile, Zira, the main antagonist from the second Lion King movie, becomes his mate and bears a child.  I kinda think that’s the only reason she’s in the fic because otherwise she doesn’t really do anything either.   So, they actually match pretty well.

Meanwhile 2 of the 3 primary antagonists join up with team Stu in an astonishing derailment of tension, and some kind of militaristic lion-hybrid nation springs up out of a science experiment from one of the aforementioned antagonists.  I guess Buster’s crew is pretty forgiving of the whole “jump started the end of the world” thing that Doctor Xavier has going on.  The other antagonist, Kahn, is MIA and presumed forgotten by the author.

That leads us to now: Buster has just declared martial law, an approaching and unresisted force has just started shelling the city, and Buster saved his own butt by diving under a desk while everyone else in the room died.

What a guy. Read the rest of this entry »

787: USA vs The Batarian Hegemony – Chapter 2

Posted: July 29, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Mass Effect, USA vs The Batarian Hegemony | Tags: , , , , | 188 Comments

Title: USA vs The Batarian Hegemony
Author: Wpago
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Sci-Fi/Suspense
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by Erttheking

AS WITH THE LAST CHAPTER, THIS RIFF IS VERY POLITICALLY BIASED!

N: Ok, Ert and Seiko are with Woods in the containment area. They’re thinking about letting Stupard out. Not sure if it’s the best idea

C: Oh come on. We were able to make Seiko better, why couldn’t we do the same to him/

N: Because Seiko was a blank slate. This guy has an entitlement complex the size of Europa. As well as a Messiah complex and maybe even a God complex. He’s a spoiled little brat who thinks he’s owed the world on a platter. He’s gonna be hard to reason with.

G: Less talky, more right wing nut job gun wank. Read the rest of this entry »

786: My Immortal – Chapter Thirty-Nine

Posted: July 28, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Harry Potter, My Immortal | Tags: , , , , , | 30 Comments

Title: My Immortal
Author: Tara (reposted by the lovely internet trolls)
Media: Book / Movie
Topic:  Harry Potter
Genre: Romance / angst
URL:  My Immortal – Chapter 39
Originally Posted by “An-Anon-Author-Who-Will-Silently-Not-Reveal-Her-Identity-Because-She’s-a-Coward, A.K.A Just a troll with rocks for brains.

Hey everyone!  I have a special treat for you this week.  Way back when this crap-fic was originally posted, it got hacked.  A girl took over Tara’s account and posted a fake chapter in place of the real chapter 39.  I don’t even need to write a riff for this week.  So sit back, relax, and enjoy The Hacker’s version of My Immortal, entitled “I Am A Trolling Genious, lolz.”

*settles into the over-sized bean bag chair Mr. Lyle owns*

It’s short but sweet.  Ta, all!

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785: United under two skies – Chapter Twelve, Part One

Posted: July 27, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Fallout, Mass Effect, United under two skies, United under two skies | Tags: , , , | 77 Comments

Title: United under two skies
Author: Gearman
Media:  Video Game
Topic:  Mass Effect/Fallout
Genre: None Listed
URL:   Chapter Twelve
Critiqued by SuperFeatherYoshi

Untitled

Plot regurgitation!Gearman took Priority: Sur’Kesh, a tense race against time, and reduced it into a husk of its former self, killing any and all tension with bland writing and Gary Stu protagonist.

Seriously, when your character can take out hundreds of husks with a single biotic attack, why the hell are we supposed to be worried about him when he’s taking on a single Atlas Mech?

But nooooo… We’re not done yet!

The Normandy then flew to Phoenix, the Stu planet, we get even more proof that Gearman has no idea how ME technologies work. Also, the Stu fleet destroys hundreds of Reaper Destroyers without even trying with “a plasma death ray combination”. It’s exactly as stupid as it sounds.

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