2840: My best friend is my patient! – Oneshot

Title: My best friend is my patient!
Author: lunabloodmoon666
Media: Comics, maybe?
Topic: Batman
Genre: Romance/Friendship
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by: Ghostcat





Greetings, dear Patrons, and welcome! I’m going to knock out a few oneshots before moving on to my next long-ish fic, so let’s get started with the summary.

a quick idea give it a go it took me half an hour and a rough idea and I thought why not :)

Well, that’s certainly a good sign.

To the fic!

I own nothing but my OC Aurora Destiny

Oof. The stink of Sue is strong with that name.

Singing softly I walked through the light grey hall containing eight cells.

Each containing mitochondria – which, as we all know, is the powerhouse of the cell.

Within these cells were the infamous Gotham Rogues, these included: The Joker, Harlequin, Scarecrow, Rebecca Albright The Riddler, Two-face, Victor Zsasz and Ragdoll.

Dude, that makes them sound like some sort of sportsball team. And her name is Harley Quinn – from her birth name, Harleen Quinzel, as well as being a play on the Harlequin. Also – Ragdoll? Seriously? Of all the villains available, you picked Ragdoll?

I don’t think the individual members of the Rogues’ Gallery were ever called “rogues” in-universe, just by the fandom, although the term “rogues’ gallery” has been used to collectively refer to the various villains of Gotham. It is an actual term used in the English language, although not one in common use these days. I did have to Google Rebecca Albright because I wasn’t familiar with that version of The Riddler – and couldn’t find anything but the social media accounts of a marine biologist with that name and a smattering of fanfic stuff. Not really sure what that means.

And seriously – Ragdoll?!?

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2839: The Evil within – Chapter 4, Part 1

Title: The Evil within
Author: godzillagirl
Media: Movie
Topic: Godzilla
Genre: Tragedy
URL: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/2672508/4/
Critiqued by: Em Kay

*the riffchamber door creaks open and Em cautiously peeks inside*

*The corner chair is conspicuously empty*

*Em frowns slightly and makes her way to the desk*

Greetings and salutations, Librarians and fellow patrons. So far, we seem to be assassin free. We’ll have to see if it lasts.

Today we have the final chapter of The Crappypasta within. I’m very much ready to be done with this author. To the recap!

Previously, on The Crappypasta within:

Wanna-Sue told everyone that Sue-kura was headed to Miami where apparently the latter had a lab with PURE uranium. Wanna-Sue got on the telepathy-CB to Canadian Battra to have him pick up-

Hey, it just occurred to me. If Battra were still in his larval stage, would they place the order on…

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2838: The New Thunderbolts — Chapter 13

Title: New Thunderbolts
Author: Impurest Cheese
Media: Comic Book
Topic: Marvel (Per fanfiction.net’s inadequate categorization), Thunderbolts (More specifically)
Genre: Adventure/Mystery
URL: Chapter 13
Critiqued by BatSakai and Guard-Warlock-Novitiate Psk’Nyor “Nina” C’Kane

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatSakai, and I’m back with more of New Thunderbolts.

Last time, the Thunderdolts managed to stop crawling in their respective crawls long enough to fight off Scarecrow and clean all the fear gas out of Port Angeles… by somehow setting it all on fire. Apparently, this still counted as saving the day.

They were assisted in this effort by the canonical character Samuel Colchiss, aka. The Melter, who has been transmuted from mopey teenager to grizzled survivalist for… really no reason I can think of. Initially the government had press-ganged him into trying to apprehend the Thunderdolts by threatening his girlfriend, but then it was the government’s nap-time so he joined up with the Thunderdolts instead. After that he got shipped with CompuSue so quickly and directly the author got hired by UPS, and they all set off to California to apparently meet up with the X-Men or something.

Written One-Handed Counter: 8

“So, why am I still here? The creepypasta part’s over.”

You’re here because I think the next section sounds like a creepypasta too, or at least supernatural in some way.

“Fine by me. I’m really actually digging the damp cave and moody lighting; it’s all very homey.”

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2837: Tale of a Dark Pizzeria Past: the Return of Evil – Chapters 6 & 7

Title: Tale of a Dark Pizzeria Past
Author: ilovedove
Media: Video Game
Topic: Five Nights at Freddy’s
Genre: none given
URL: Chapter 6
URL: Chapter 7
Critiqued by: Ghostcat



Welcome, dear Patrons, to the last pair of chapters!


This is always such a special moment for me. Mostly because it means I have to go find another fic.

But enough about my issues, let’s do a quick recap!

:flips through notes:

Child corpses were stuffed into animatronics, which magically gave them new names and thus makes them original characters and totally not stolen so shut up. We’ve moved into what I assume is supposed to be the setting of the second game, but there’s not much detail to go on. And our Milquetoast McEvil is becoming increasingly angry that his minions continue to be morons yet doesn’t actually do anything about it because reasons.

To the fic!

Back to the story


The next night

Just in case you thought time had suddenly started going in reverse or something. Because gods know nothing interesting ever happens during the day.

The night started exactly like the other nights before it.

This fic really knows how to capture the audience’s attention, doesn’t it?

The guard was getting really good at fending off the animatronics.

Really? He put the spare animatronic head on, and also flashed a flashlight. That’s literally all he’s done. A wiser person might just go lock themselves in the bathroom until their shift was over, but this asshole is dedicated.

The guard watched the animatronics move around the pizzeria. Toy Freddy, Toy Chica, and Toy Bonnie came off the show stage again. So now the night guard has 9 animatronics hunting him.

I’m having a hard time giving any of my nonexistent damns.

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2836: The Evil within chapter 3

Title: The Evil within
Author: godzillagirl
Media: Movie
Topic: Godzilla
Genre: Tragedy
URL: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/2672508/3/
Critiqued by: Em Kay

*Em enters riffchamber 221B holding a steaming mug*

Greetings and salutations, Librarians and fellow patrons. I’m Em Kay, your guest snarker for the day, here to bring you more of this crappypasta- er, I mean tragedy Godzilla fic, where the only tragedy seems to be that the fic was written at all.

The good news is that we’ve already reached the halfway point and, after this quite small chapter, there’s only one chapter left to go. Let’s get to the recap.

*Em sets the mug down on the desk, takes a seat and pulls over her laptop.*

Previously, on The Evil within:

Sue-kura rested a random foot on Linda, so Rainbow Mothra tattled on her to Godzilla, but left out the part where Sue-kura was a child murderer. There was a red moon (all hail the arachnid overlords), a second sun came up, and Sue-kura disappeared. Then they went to Pride Rock where Harmony announced that everyone’s favorite Sue is actually possessed by a crappypasta monster who has some very specific guidelines to work under. Anyway, gotta stop him, blah blah, world’s fate in our hands, blah blah.

*Em takes the mug, blows on the liquid inside, and takes a tentative sip.* Ooh! Tea’s a bit too hot still.

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