1885: Fazbear Q & A – Chapters 4 & 5

 

Title: Fazbear Q & A
Author: Lolita Westmore
Media: Video Game
Topic: Five Nights at Freddy’s
Genre: Humor/Supernatural
URL Chapter 4
URL Chapter 5
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

Hello, and welcome back to this odd little fic! Not a whole lot happened in the last three chapters, most of which could summarized as ‘stuff happened, little of it related to the source materials’, and I assume the trend will continue.

I don’t own the FNAF series. Just the storyline and Baby.

As we’ve covered extensively in the past, you do NOT need to add disclaimers to a fic – especially not the same exact disclaimer to every blasted chapter.

Ninety years without slumbering (tick, tock, tick, tock), his life’s seconds numbering (tick, tock, tick, tock), it stopped short –never to go again- when the old man died.”

If those look like song lyrics, it’s because they are; specifically the chorus from a very old song called “My Grandfather’s Clock”, which is what the Marionette’s music box plays to keep it quiet. Gold star to the author for that obscure bit of FNAF trivia.

The comforting tinkles of the music box filled a room littered with toys and posters, virtually untouched by time.

This isn’t going to be like one of those artsy ASMR videos, is it?

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1884: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper – Chapter Three

Title: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper
Author: Darth Sith’ari
Media: Film
Topic: Star Wars
Genre: None given, other than the fact that it’s an AU
URL: Chapter Three
Critiqued by BatJamags

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags, and we’re back with more of this thing.

Last time, OOC!Mandalorian!Padme and a squad of Rule 63troopers blew up a droid factory after some sloppy action scenes and sloppier tactics. Let’s see what lies in store for us this time.

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1883: Rage, Burning Bright

Title: Rage, Burning Bright
Author:  Machina Super Monstrum
Media: Video Game
Topic: Warframe
Genre: Drama/Angst
URL: Rage, Burning Bright
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey folks, welcome to another Taco Wednesday!  Yeah, that’s right,  I don’t have to bend to your trendy alliteration!

This week I’ve got a new source material for you all: Warframe.  For the uninitiated, Warframe is a free-to-play game where you essentially get to be a futuristic space ninja called a Tenno whose consciousness controls futuristic suits of power armor called warframes.  The actual plot of the game takes a pretty hefty backseat to the gameplay and exists mostly as lore that you can dig up from the in-game Codex. Warframe somewhat oldschool in that regard, so I don’t have much in the way of an infodump for you all.  And, in fact, this fic exists pretty well apart from any canon plot.  The bare-bones of the plot is that centuries ago the Orokin controlled the Sol solar system and tried to expand to the Tau system.  This pissed off the Sentients, a machine race that were already living there, which kicked off a massive war.  Many atrocities later, which included unleashing the Infestation, the Orokin eventually learned to tap into void energy in order to create Warframes piloted by the Tenno.  These warframes were eventually able to push back the Sentients, who had been winning the war, retake all their territory, and eventually crush them.  In their last-ditch effort to avoid complete extermination, the Sentients unleashed Natah who took control of the warframes and turned them back against the Orokin.  This left both empires essentially destroyed and the war ended.  At this point Natah was supposed to destroy the warframes to complete her mission, but as she had grown an affection for them, instead placed them in stasis.

Centuries later the Sol system has become divided by two rivaling factions: The Grineer, the ancient military slave-race of the Orokin, and the Corpus, a merchant faction based around technological research and trade.  At this point both the Grineer and Corpus begin to “dig too deep” for the ancient technologies.  The Grineer, in their attempts to capture the weapons of Orokin, inadvertently begin an awakening of the Warframes, who, under the direction of Lotus, forcibly take up a position of balance and peace keepers between the two factions.  Meanwhile, the Corpus begin to experiment with the remnants of the Infestation, which had previously been battled back into a state of quasi-dormancy by the Grineer.  These experiments rather predictably end with them unleashing a brand-new full-blown Infestation. This quickly catches Lotus’s attention and she sends the Warframes in to investigate and start to work on fighting back the rising tide of infested.

As for the game itself, I’d call it among the best free-to-play games currently out there.  The game’s model allows access to the vast majority of content without requiring any purchase, with all of the things absolutely requiring money being aesthetic in nature.  There IS a premium currency that’s primarily used to unlock extra equipment storage, speed up farming, or buy more aesthetics, but the game allows it to be traded for items, so those who don’t want to spend any of their own money can farm up some sought-after equipment and trade players whose wallets are a bit looser.  It helps that the game itself is also pretty damn fun, provided that jumping around like a cocaine-fueled rhesus monkey while spraying bullets everywhere and hitting things with a giant axe fits your description of fun.  It certainly fits mine.

And that’s way more than you really need to know for this fic.  The fic is “Rage, Burning Bright,” and if that mega-edgelord title is anything to go by, we may as well queue up all the Linkin Park and Evanescence songs right now.

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1882: Suicidal Nightmare– Crappy Pasta

Title: Suicidal Nightmare
Author: CreepyPastaPrincessLuna
Media: Animation
Topic: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Genre: Dark, Slice-Of-Life, and Other (it’s really just a creepypasta)
URL: Suicidal Nightmare
Critiqued by:
AdmiralSakai and Nina

WARNING

In case you couldn’t figure it out from the goddamn title, the pasta being riffed today contains potential flamebait in the form of a very strange handling of suicide. It’s not on the level of, say, a certain infamous Spongebob Squarepants ‘pasta previously riffed here, but exercise caution in the comments regardless. Also, expect the usual spoopy staples of random gore and character torture.

Hello hello all you patrons! Grab a heaping helping of cat brains and submit any roasted-fetus complaints to the Bureau of Demonic Affairs, because it’s time once again for…

spoop4

Roll it!”

Wait, no, that can’t be right!”

Ooooooooooh, yes it can!

What do you get when you combine the circle-jerking groupthink of the Creepypasta Wiki with the “anything goes” quality standards of fimfiction.net?

Why, ponypasta, of course!

Because nothing chills the blood like a show about magical talking horses who learn lessons about friendship, amiright?

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1881: Maya and Raider – Chapter Five

Title: Maya and Raider
Author: Eclipsepheniox
Media: Video Game
Topic: Borderlands
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter 5
Critiqued by Delta XIII

[SETTING: Delta’s bedroom. Delta is sleeping in his armchair, curled up like a cat. An alarm suddenly blares from his cell phone, causing him to jerk up in shock.]

Wuzzat?!

…oh, right. The riff.

*turns off alarm*

*clears throat*

Welcome back everyone! Sorry I couldn’t do the riff in person last time, but as soon as I saw that abrupt sex scene, I knew I’d need to either put myself into a mini-coma, or drink myself into a stupor.

And after the fiasco of my last drunken stupor, well… the decision was obvious.

Anywho, on to the show!

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1880: Unknown Origins – Chapter One, Part Four

Title: Unknown Origins
Author: Cyberweasel89
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Adventure and Romance
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Hiraani and Queen Malieasha of Jacelajoglia

Queenie: Hello, dear ones! Welcome back to Unknown Origins.

Welcome back to Everything Sucks: Part Nine. *continues stuffing mouth with Toaster Strudels*

Queenie: Also, Angie decided to drop Coffin Rock to devote her time to watching us suffer.

Angie: *from the other room* That’s not what I said, and you know it. But thank you for trying.

Queenie: No problem. Anyhow, when we last left off, we met Sunny Smiles, Chet continued to be a pervert beyond belief, and Hiraani had a mental breakdown.

What do you mean, had?

Queenie: Oh, but before we go on. Happy almost Halloween!

We were so close.

Queenie: Hiraani, what are you dressed up as?

I am glad you asked. I dressed up as First Lady Nancy Reagan to honor—

Queenie: I dressed up as a queen. So.

Groundbreaking.

Queenie: Let’s continue on.

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Art-tastic Saturday! – Some Overwatch fanart, and no, SC’s ass is not on fire.

Hey, people! It’s ya boi SC! No riff from me this week, because I couldn’t finish it in time, but I wanted to post something anyhow to let you know that I’m alright.

For anybody not in the know, I live in Northern California, and Northern California currently lives in hell – by which I mean, EVERYTHING’S ON FUCKING FIRE. The situation is, some freaky-ass winds knocked over trees that fell onto power lines, which started the fires nearest to me; meanwhile, a bit south of us, some fuckass arsonists went around lighting up a bunch of other fires. The result wound up being twenty-one wildfires igniting all in the same day, and it’s been absolute chaos up here ever since, trying to get them fought.

Unfortunately, I wound up having to be evacuated from my home on the first day (we got given the order to leave at about one in the morning, and you could see an ominous red glow creeping over the hill just across the way, that’s how close it was to me), so I’ve been spending about the last week waiting on pins and needles for the situation to turn around enough for me to try and get back to my normal day-to-day, hence the lack of a riff. I’m back home now, and things appear to be turning around for the better. Now, keep in mind, the situation is far from handled – even with so many resources pouring in from places as far-flung as Australia, the fire nearest to me is only 20% contained, and has already claimed over 34,000 acres of land. If the winds come back and blow the fire south, I’ll probably have to evacuate again. But, for the time being, all’s good with me, and you can trust that if I do have to fuck off to Nopetopia again, I’ll probably have enough advance warning to get out with my family and pets safely.

So, with that out of the way, I can’t just leave you guys without at least a nice picture to look at – so have some Overwatch fanart! The creator is credited in the image, proper, so go give her gallery a look if you feel so inclined.