2864: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 48

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comic Book
Topic: “Justice League” (Batman)
Genre: Crime / Mystery
URL: Chapter 48
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, GoodJamags, and I’m back, a little belatedly, with more Shadow Warriors. Let’s see what underdeveloped horrors await us now.

Chapter 48: Move Forward

Unfortunately for me, I intend to.

Authors Note: Okay, you know the drill epilogue then a new chapter. After this I am going to work on Leo303’s character Mark Kyle A.K.A ‘Surge’ a Meta human who has electrical powers, but I’ll get into that later.

Unappealing

This is just a quick wrap up and a note. I’m going on a cruise Saturday and I don’t know when I’ll get back. I think the next Saturday or something. Anyways here you go.

… You’re going on a cruise within the week and you don’t know when it ends?

… … … You lied about being an adult, didn’t you?

P.S. Red Crosshairs and Reapers stories have been updated so check out Illusive mans and Reaper’s profile.

I will. Eventually.

Anyway, past the disclaimer…

“This is bullshit.” Hilary snapped.

Agent 63: I did not hit her, I did naht.

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2863: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 47, Part 2

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comic Book
Topic: “Justice League” (Batman)
Genre: Crime / Mystery
URL: Chapter 47
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, GoodJamags, and I’m back with more bland fight scene. Last time, there were fight scenes, and they were bland. The only really interesting thing is that I’ve noticed Shadow knight has a really bizarre tendency to interrupt action sequences with some random canon character who serves as a glorified miniboss and then never appears again. We’ve had at least Bane, Deathstroke, and Amazo used this way so far, and probably more that I’m blanking on because it didn’t register at the time.

(!)

The main hallway leading to Double J’s master office was filled with either dead or broken bodies. She ran out of ammo for her assault rifle and was now aiming her desert eagle in the side on a man’s temple.

“She” will apparently go unnamed even though it’s not like there’s any ambiguity about who it is.

Also I still miss the dessert eagles.

Also also, the entire Dork Patrol was having trouble with like three of JJ’s goons even before Amazo showed up, how has Tyler Durden killed all of the ones on this floor, which is at least twenty-three since it’s a “majority” of forty-five?

“Please have mercy.” The man cowered, but Whisper looked at him with cold calculated eyes. She pulled back the hammer of her gun and fired watching his brains splatter all over the place.

“No.” She answered, walking away as nothing had happened. She loaded a new clip into her gun and slowly crept into her office.

You know, you start to lose track of these moments when you deal with edgelord protagonists for long enough, but: This character just executed a defeated opponent who was not only surrendering but literally begging for mercy. We are supposed to like her and root for her. And, like, if we submit to the interpretations of the characters that the story is attempting to put forward (which I do not precisely because of moments like this), Double J would be a pretty distasteful person. But this isn’t Double J; this is some random hired goon working for her who may or may not even know about a lot of her crimes. There’s a good chance he’s got less blood on his hands than most of the protagonists.

And sometimes protagonists are bad people, sure. But this story shows no indication whatsoever that we are not supposed to be glad this is happening.

Double J’s office was the size of Jayden’s penthouse. The room was all black with tiled floors her desk was positioned in front of a bay window like all corporate ass holes that look down at the common folk like ants.

So, what you’re saying is that Double J’s office was also the layout of Jayden’s penthouse.

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2862: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 47, Part 1

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comic Book
Topic: “Justice League” (Batman)
Genre: Crime / Mystery
URL: Chapter 47
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, GoodJamags, and I’m back, somewhat belatedly, with your weekly dose of edge. Try not to cut yourself.

Last time, we picked up with Weeaboo, who has been dealing with a mysterious villain with an unknown connection to his past. He took Tyler Durden to meet with a random childhood friend of his we’ve never met for no apparent in- or out-of-universe purpose. No one was seated during the shocking reveal that this friend in fact was Lotus. She is apparently basically a jealous stalker, who decided the best way to win over the object of her affections was to (a) murder his girlfriend (which, while it does not strictly make sense, is at least within the realm of actions a stalker might plausibly take); and then (b) join a secret society of assassins and not interact with Weeaboo in any way whatsoever for eight years.

We also had some more focus on JJ the Canadian couch-potato wine vampire, but we learned extremely little that we didn’t already know. She is, however, thus far reasonably competent, treats her employees well, and suitably disturbed by the Dork Patrol’s sudden obsession with sexualizing one of their high-school-aged members. Oh, and we got the origin for her vampire thing, which is not that she’s a real vampire but it makes so little actual sense that I can’t even begin to explain it here. Also, the story had sapped so much of my brainpower by the time I read it that I was like “Uh, durr… sounds good to me.”

Anyway, let’s continue.

Chapter 47: Broken Hearts

Authors Note: Okay I am pissed.

Readers: Why are you pissed?

*Grabs throat*

What did I just say?

Shadow: Well I had a great Saturday morning of watching a new episode of young justice, very interesting and the story gets better and better-THEY’RE FUCKING CANCELING IT!

Readers: What, why?

*Cough* *Cough*

Hang on, I’m saying things I don’t mean to for some reason. I wouldn’t ask that because I’ve seen Season Three from after the show started up again, and it really would have been better off if it were left canceled.

OK, this author’s note devolves into very incoherent ranting that has nothing to do with what we’re here for and is extremely snippable, so snipped it shall be.

The Shadow Warriors were all gathering their equipment for their assault on Double J’s headquarters. Shadow had ditched his leather coat and swapped it for tactical straps with a silver berretta strapped to each side of his waist and shotgun shells across his chest.

For the… shotgun he does not carry and never has?

Also, why has he never used this setup for any of the considerably more fortified locations he’s stormed in the past?

Actually, you know what, he got rid of his edgy black leather duster, I shouldn’t be complaining.

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2861: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 46

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comic Book
Topic: “Justice League” (Batman)
Genre: Crime / Mystery
URL: Chapter 46
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags and BadJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, GoodJamags, and I’m back with…

*Sigh*

This thing.

BadJamags: What happened last time?

How should I know?

Uh, I mean, an eternity ago…

*Squints at previous chapter*

So, if you remember Double J JJ, the Canadian vampire who drinks blood bags like they were Capri Suns while bingewatching TV in her entertainment center, I think there was a flashback to her involvement in Tyler Durden’s bland backstory. (Killed her parents, which is the admissions test for Shadow Warriors villains.) Then we cut to the present for a truly horrifying glimpse into Shadow knight’s idea of what girl talk sounds like. Then there was some kind of fight, but I honestly cannot reconstruct for you why the different sides were hostile to each other. I think there were JJ’s “personal men,” some inexplicably-not-dead-until-just-now members of the canonical Falcone crime family (who are usually sort of Batman’s starter villains who rapidly get displaced by costumed types in the first year or two he’s active), an OC assassin (but, like, one who’s an antagonist and not an “assassin of the peace,” whatever that is) who seemed to be hostile to all parties, the Dork Patrol themselves, and finally Batman, Surprisingly-Decent-OC-Batgirl, and the police showed up late but could be counted as a fifth faction.

BadJamags: … The fuck happened to this fic? Last time I was here, that Blackbeard guy was still relevant.

Was he really, though?

BadJamags: Comparatively speaking, of course.

Chapter 46: Stabbed In The Heart.

And you’re to blame?

BadJamags: YOU GIVE VIGILANTISM… A BAD NAME!

Authors Note: Thank you thank you thank you all! 300 reviews holy crap thank you all. Reviewers, followers and anonymous reviewers and not to mention the kind folk who have given me their oc’s that made this story good.

BadJamags: Is that what the OCs did.

I love you all and I hope you stick around for future stories. Also give stories like Rise of the Reaper written by Jedimasterchris The red crosshairs written by the illusiveman and Flames beginning by Daniel wilks a read they are all good stories and deserve the same recognition as mine.

Oh, don’t worry. I intend to (eventually) give them precisely the same recognition.

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2860: Halo: the Art of War – Chapter 10, Part 2

Title: Halo: the Art of War [sic]
Author: Havoc-legionnaire
Media: Video Game
Topic: Halo
Genre: Sci-Fi / Adventure
URL: Chapter 10
Critiqued by: BatJamags AdmiralJamags and GoodJamags Browline Glasses

Hello hello all you patrons! Browline Glasses, recap me.

“The Covenant’s strategy of deploying large piñatas in place of capital ships is working as anticipated.”

That’s most of it, yeah. More specifically, the StuNSC rolled the original reinforcements, but apparently by complete coincidence, an even bigger Covenant fleet (which is not actually bigger but the author says it is) wandered into the system. We cut off as the second group launched a bunch of torpedoes at the Pillar of Heat Season.

There was no way that Autumn could take that kind of firepower,

but nor could they, as Keyes knew, simply enter slipspace and withdraw from the fight. Even if the Truth and Reconciliation could make it into the Oort Cloud in time, most of her systems were still disabled and the boarding party would need more time to right the ship. In the meantime, the Covenant could comb the area to find her; it would be lengthy and tedious,

-Much like the fic-

but it was very much possible.

-Oh, never mind.

In the greater scheme of things, though, the captain could not now permit any Covenant survivors in the entire system to tell the tale. If the Covenant command structure knew that they had lost the Truth and Reconciliation, they would simply have their forces open fire on her whenever they saw her. The mission would end in failure unless Keyes wiped them out right down to the last grunt.

“Should I point out that they did nothing to prevent the initial reinforcements from passing along a warning?”

Shhh, you’ll break the plot.

That meant that there was only one option left: Keyes would have to outmaneuver them all.

“My god, could this be-“

THE KEYES WEAVE

“Engines to full. Lovell, come about and plot a course to take us behind Caria V. Lt. Hikowa, use the phalanxes to buy us as much time as possible. Raise the ECM.”

Are there not torpedoes heading for you right now? Do you propose to outrun them?

“May I ask to know what you plan to do, Captain?” Wellesley inquired.

Keyes grinned at the AI. “I’m going to take a page out of your book, Wellesley.”

“You magnificent bastard.”

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