2801: The pale rider saga – Chapter 4

Title: The pale rider saga
Author: Baron Von willystien
Media: Movie
Topic: Twilight/Evil Dead series
Genre: Horror/Romance
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by: Ghostcat




Hello, my dear Patrons, and welcome to the last chapter of this fun-filled extravaganza of tedium!

In the previous chapter Will/Wyatt got a new hand attached, went outside, managed to find the only deadite in the Abandoned Town in less than thirty seconds, and then managed to both snap his new hand and get infected by the demonic zombie before he staggered back to the house so that Bella could easily bite him and pump some sparklepire toxins into what has to be a severely damage circulatory system.

I should mention that at the time of writing this I’ve had several glasses of muscadine wine, which is more than enough to get my lightweight ass feelin’ fine, so this should be an interesting experience for everyone involved.


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2800: A Turian’s Duty — Chapter 6

Title: A Turian’s Duty
Video Game
Mass Effect
Chapter 6
Critiqued by

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to A Turian’s Duty.

Last time, Cuckoo Vakarian went to the Citadel on leave, after circling around his ship for a while and talking to every single pointless NPC. On the Citadel, he blew twenty thousand credits on a machine shop that fits inside his smartwatch, and informed one of the NPCs that he like-likes her.

Somehow, this chapter managed to be twice as long as the others despite containing half as many actual events.

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2799: Halo: the Art of War – Chapter 4

Title: Halo: the Art of War [sic]
Author: Havoc-legionnaire
Media: Video Game
Topic: Halo
Genre: Sci-Fi / Adventure
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by: BadJamags AdmiralJamags and GoodJamags Chief Director (Ret.) Goodinic Jamags

Be advised that this is a long chunk of chunk; the riff as a whole is just barely shy of my usual cutoff point for splitting into two.

Hello hello all you patrons, and oh what the hell are you doing now.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

… Anyway, we’re doing this fic again. Last time, they did a briefing, but it was not brief and did not brief anybody on anything actually important. Vaguely, the SPARTANs are gonna go try to capture a Prophet, and John is in charge of them. There was also some pontificating about how EDGY one of the OC SPARTANs is (some dude named Wa, who I’m guessing is the big stoned guy who was unironically described as “oriental”). This chapter is one of the main reasons I’m riffing this, so we’re in for a good time.

So, onward and downward, I guess.

Disclaimer: I cannot believe that I still have to say this, but Halo is all Bungie’s. Any lawsuits would get you at most one of my doomsday devices (Go ahead and take. I have more!).

Into the disclaimer. Again.

A/N: In the past, I’ve introduced technical information in the form of an appendix. This time I tried doing it like a dielectric. Please tell me which way seems to be better. A lot of what’s here comes from both the canon version of the Autumn and my old fic, though some are brand spanking new.

By “dialectic,” he means “rich and chunky in a less conveniently snippable way.”

HighCom has officially reclassified the Pillar of Autumn as a battle cruiser.” – Col. George Yang

And once again, we get some random thing this guy is going to say in the chapter, at the top of the chapter.

“… What was it classified as before? What’s the difference?”

You’ve been around this kind of fic more than enough to know that you don’t want to hear the answers to those questions.

0400 Hours, August 28, 2552 (Military Calendar) / UNS Pillar of Autumn , in orbit around Epsilon Eridani System, Reach Military Complex

Captain Keyes tapped the thrusters of the shuttle pod Coda . The tiny craft rolled and the Pillar of Autumn came into view. Normally, Captains did not ferry themselves around the space docks of Reach, but Keyes had insisted.

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2798: The pale rider saga – Chapter 3

Title: The pale rider saga
Author: Baron Von willystien
Media: Movie
Topic: Twilight/Evil Dead series
Genre: Horror/Romance
URL: Chapter 3
Critiqued by: Ghostcat




Brightest day, dear Patrons, and welcome to a new chapter!

In the last chapter, Carlisle showed up, there was a murder basement, and Will/Wyatt decided to 3D-print a new hand to replace his sewer antique hand because reasons.

:flips through notes:

And despite the constant word-vomit, that was about it. On with the show!

the 5th seal

The Fifth Seal releases the cries of martyrs, who are seeking revenge/justice in Old Testament style “eye for an eye” fashion – namely that those who martyred them will die as the martyrs did. (I think the martyrs also get some new clothes to wear as the ascend into the heavens.) I don’t see how that could possibly backfire on anyone.

will grit his teeth as carlisle attached the wires to the nerves in the stump of his hand.

Unless he cut his individual fingers off, the stump is likely at his wrist. And I’m reasonably sure the prosthesis wouldn’t be hardwired into the nervous system even if it was individual fingers. I did some casual research about powered prostheses and they appear to work via a series of sensors that are triggered by the remaining muscles in the limb or through implanted sensors in the brain, not direct nerve input.

dammit carlisle he said as carlisle stitched. two of the fingers on the hand flexed and twitched. carlisle said quit moving them until i have this final stitch in it.

The fingers are moving independently? How?

The human wrist is a biological chokepoint;  in order to have that nice flexible joint there are only a few main ‘avenues’ – veins, nerves, etc. – that can pass through. None of the hand muscles really extend past the wrist, and the nerves for the fingers branch out from the wrist to the fingers. Hooking into the existing nerve “trunkline” would be like having a room with five outlets that are all controlled by a single switch by the door. You can operate all of those outlets at the same time, turning them off or on, but not independently. There are some really interesting things happening regarding prostheses where they have managed to create artificial limbs that can be manipulated with such fine control, but it involves mapping the brain to isolate the input areas for the individual fingers and using sensors in those areas to trigger the device, bypassing the nerves in the arm entirely. This idiot is literally just sewing a replacement hand onto his stump.

will looked at the wall focusing on the picture in the frame. it showed him and his uncle along with kayla, his wife.

I sense a Sudden Tragek Backstory!

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2797: Sakura: The Female Kaiju – Chapter Six

Title: Sakura: The Female Kaiju
Author: godzillagirl
Media: Movie
Topic: Godzilla
Genre: Romance/Drama
URL: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/2559529/6/ 
Critiqued by: Em Kay

Greetings and Salutations, Librarians and patrons! It’s time once again for everyone’s favorite kaiju fic!


Well, the good news is this is the final chapter. The bad news is that it’s one of the longest, nearly twice as long as most of the other chapters. Hopefully we can get it finished off in one shot.

Last time, Sexy!GodzillaSue traveled nearly eight thousand miles at improbable speeds to rescue Junior. Luckily, she made it just in time to submit to Mecha-King Ghidorah’s demand to spoon and then made a quick call to Godzilla’s babysitter, Baby Mothra.

Let’s get this over with!

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