Title: Star Wars: The Force in Arendelle
Author: Tyrone Weaver
Topic: Frozen / Star Wars
URL: Star Wars: The Force in Arendelle
Critiqued by Darth Overlord (Retired) Crunchy
*Crunchy stalks into the riffing chamber, angrily chirping to himself*
Bad influence indeed! I teach a toddler how to lob a few Darkwraiths with the Force, and suddenly I am the bad guy!
*Snorts* I was the bad guy long before that, thank-you-very-much!
No matter. Let us see what they have found for me this week. Aha, some kind of Star Wars fic that has been crossed with Frozen.
I suppose they are more upset about the boy’s tutelage than I thought they would be.
This story is a work in progress, but it’s a good one. Here’s the synopsis: A Jedi master, his padawan, and his friend are stuck on Arendelle. Will the queen accept them or refuse them? Will she become a supporter of the Republic, or fall into the deceptive hands of the Separatists? Read more to find out!
*The external lock on the riff chamber door slams into place with an audible thud*
Far more upset.
Warning: This fic contains Curse Words.
Well, hello, lovelies! It’s been a couple weeks. Between taking the family on vacation and a giant-ass audit (giant… ass-audit?) at work, my time has been completely sapped. Many thanks to our wonderful guest-riffers for filling in for me in my absence. Group hug! Unless you don’t like to be touched. In which case, group casual chin lift of recognition from a respectable distance.
Anyway, today I’m going to start bringing you the delight that is SONIC HIGH SCHOOL. While “A Daughter” still has a few chapters, I think doing an alternating update schedule keeps me more productive. This masterpiece was suggested to us by Jake Goff and, after reading the first couple sentences, I claimed it.
Now, “SONIC HIGH SCHOOL” is a major-multi-chapter pile of rhino-excrement, but, thankfully, each chapter is pretty short. Let’s go ahead and get started, shall we?
Title: My Immortal 2: Wake Me Up Inside
Author: Unknown/Fake Tara
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Romance, Parody
Critiqued by Angie
Okay! *cracks my knuckles* Here goes nothing.
Hey, hi! My name’s Angie. You may know me from the particularly horrendous “Quarter Quell” series of Ice Age/Hunger Games fanfiction. I acknowledge they were awful and I probably would riff them now if Herr Wozzeck hadn’t done so beforehand. I’m a guest, and I’m here to rip apart the timeless story of sekwelitis.
A few years ago, Lyle did a critique of My Immortal, the infamous ‘Worst Fanfiction Ever’. And now, I have decided to tackle the unofficial sequel.
Yes. There’s a sequel. Three, actually.
And here is the worst of them.
Also! This story has lots of referencing to cutting wrists and things like that. There’s my disclaimer.
Hello hello all you patrons! Hang onto your kidneys and prepare to suffer massive mind loss, because it’s that time again…
“Today we don’t have anything that’s massively popular or especially glubbed up… just an otherwise uncategorizable pasta that has pretty good ratings and is really, really dumb. Sakai, you’re a transhumanist, right?”
Umm, yeah? A lot of people in AI research are, actually.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
Why do you ask?
“Well, I still haven’t forgotten all of that blasphemy against Great Cthulhu in the Lovecraft special… so I think it’s appropriate to treat you to a computer-themed pasta!”
Gunny: Wow, look at that na-
No, fuck you, fuck off, we’re not doing that again.
Rook: Didn’t Cook say he and Doc accidentally triggered something bad last time?
Yes, and I’m not doing that shit again, so we’re starting before Gunny gets a chance to finish her sen-
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!
*Gunny grins trollishly*
Rook: This is why Bear hates you, you know.
Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome back to the Library! I’m here with another scoop of Slender Man fic, which I’m sure you’ve all been eagerly awaiting.
What happened in the last chapter? Not a hell of a lot; communal whipping boy Thaddeus stumbled around a forest while hearing a mysterious voice and being chased by a mysterious figure that he assumed was the fic’s designated asshole even though the figure looked and sounded nothing like said designated asshole. He then found a piece of paper and was touched by the mysterious figure, which surely would have resulted in an in-game death but is likely a prelude to more physical contact between the two.
Oh, good; an Author’s Note. These are always fun.
OMG! I just noticed how short the last chapter was DX My bad!
Chapters don’t have a required length, they can be as long or as short as they need to be. It could even be argued that a Slender Man yaoi slashfic would be better with shorter chapters, or even no chapters at all.
Lets see what I can conjure up for this chapter XP LOL ENJOY!
I assume that means the author is making things up as she goes, which rarely goes well for the audience.