2841: The New Thunderbolts — Chapter 14
Posted: August 3, 2021 Filed under: Admiral Sakai, Comic, New Thunderbolts, Thunderbolts | Tags: AdmiralSakai, Adventure, Boring, Comic Book, Don't Cut Yourself on All That Edge, Good Chapters of Bad Fanfics, Mall Ninjutsu, Mystery, Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP!!!!!, Thunderbolts, WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN 4 CommentsTitle: New Thunderbolts
Author: Impurest Cheese
Media: Comic Book
Topic: Marvel (Per fanfiction.net’s inadequate categorization), Thunderbolts (More specifically)
Genre: Adventure/Mystery
URL: Chapter 14
Critiqued by BatSakai and Guard-Warlock-Novitiate Psk’Nyor “Nina” C’Kane
Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatSakai, and I’m back with more of New Thunderbolts.
Last time, the Thunderdolts ended up taking a tour at a vineyard in California, where they discovered an evil magical tree (the titular “Scorpion Tree”) that the owner of the vineyard was making yearly sacrifices to. He’s also a really stupidly-named arms dealer who employs two Z-list costume villains as security guards, and has pissed off his wife.
Out heroes tried to charge in guns blazing and destroy the tree, and in a battle of wits between the Thunderbolts and vegetation the vegetation resoundingly won. Also the X-Men as led by Emma Frost are trying to track down a rogue member named Sage due to some bullshit transplanted directly from the Avengers vs. X-Men event comic, and think that CompuSue is Sage for some reason, and thus Frost and Colossus have decided to show up and fight the Thunderdolts. Last we saw, they’d started arguing over CompuSue when she spontaneously got possessed by the Scorpion Tree or something.
Written One-Handed Counter: 12
2819: A Turian’s Duty — Chapter 9 Part 2 and Chapter 10
Posted: June 15, 2021 Filed under: A Turian's Duty, Admiral Sakai, Mass Effect, Video Game | Tags: Adventure, AU, Boring, Don't Cut Yourself on All That Edge, Mall Ninjutsu, Mass Effect, Pacing Trainwreck, Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP!!!!!, Video Game 7 CommentsTitle: A Turian’s Duty
Author: ShadowWolf329
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure
URL: Chapter 9 and Chapter 10
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai
Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to A Turian’s Duty. Last time, Cuckoo Vakarian got attacked by a Cerberus assassin for no reason, built an annoying AI for no reason that made him even more overpowered for no reason, moved onto a ship he keeps perpetually docked for no reason, attended Garrus’s academy graduation for no reason, and then decided to go to Omega. There was a reason there, but a stupid one- he wants to scout out the old #WhyteDeth base there, even though there was a massive five year timeskip since he took it down and so the place has a decent chance of already having been demolished by now.
2816: A Turian’s Duty — Chapter 9 Part 1
Posted: June 8, 2021 Filed under: A Turian's Duty, Admiral Sakai, Mass Effect, Video Game | Tags: Adventure, AU, Boring, Don't Cut Yourself on All That Edge, Mall Ninjutsu, Mass Effect, Pacing Trainwreck, Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP!!!!!, Video Game 11 CommentsTitle: A Turian’s Duty
Author: ShadowWolf329
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure
URL: Chapter 9
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai
Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to A Turian’s Duty.
Last time,Cuckoo Vakarian got added onto the Normandy’s design team because Nihlus Kryik was just that damn impressed with his L33T H4XX0R SK1LLZ. He also got a small, spherical “Reaper artifact” off of the 666White666Death666, and has been peering at it and prodding at it and rubbing it all over himself ever since. Now he’s thinking about building an AI to manage his many, many Batman gadgets.
Just Like Voldemort From The Movie Counter: 5
2811: A Turian’s Duty — Chapter 8
Posted: June 1, 2021 Filed under: A Turian's Duty, Admiral Sakai, Mass Effect, Video Game | Tags: Adventure, AU, Boring, Mall Ninjutsu, Mass Effect, Pacing Trainwreck, Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP!!!!!, Video Game 10 CommentsTitle: A Turian’s Duty
Author: ShadowWolf329
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure
URL: Chapter 8
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai
Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to A Turian’s Duty. Last time,Cuckoo Vakarian went to Omega and sabotaged a bunch of deals between Aria T’Loak and the other gangs on the station. For some reason, this made Aria like him enough to invite him over to “the Afterlife” for a meeting and tell him the xWxHxIxTxExDxExAxTxHx are hiding out in a warehouse in the Blue-Suns-Controlled part of the station. That’s apparently the only base of this galaxy-spanning terrorist organization, aside from some undefined installation “Between the Artemis Tau and Voyager Cluster” which really leaves a lot of proverbial ground to cover.
After meeting with Aria, he got intercepted by Spectre Nihlus Kryik, who Cuckoo agreed to work with but did not warn about the Reapers or his own predicted demise on Eden Prime fifteen-ish years from now.
Just Like Voldemort From The Movie Counter: 4
2808: A Turian’s Duty — Chapter 7 Part 2
Posted: May 25, 2021 Filed under: A Turian's Duty, Admiral Sakai, Mass Effect, Video Game | Tags: Adventure, AU, Boring, Mass Effect, Pacing Trainwreck, Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP!!!!!, Squandered Potential, Video Game 17 CommentsTitle: A Turian’s Duty
Author: ShadowWolf329
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure
URL: Chapter 7
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai
Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to A Turian’s Duty. Last time, Cuckoo Vakarian attended his CO’s funeral and made everybody there talk about how great he was. He also got his CO’s sword, which I’m sure will be very helpful in a firefight. He then talked to Commander Lieutenant Shepard, who has longer hair and Sue-purple eyes for no reason, designed some canonical Mass Effect guns, and then boarded a ship to Omega. We left off just as he was disembarking.
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