Title: Iron lady of the wonderbolts
Author: Flat spin
Topic: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
URL: No longer available to the general public
Critiqued by Admiral Sakai
This is yet another goddamn ‘fic containing potential flamebait in the form of military sexual assault and harassment. Also hazing. And drug abuse. And just plain disturbing content in the form of the murder and torture of innocent ponies for really no goddamn reason, let’s not forget that little detail… It may not be Celebrian, but it’s definitely not for the faint of heart.
Hello hello, all you patrons! No minions today as I figured the veterans needed some time off, and more to the point this was just sort of a spur-of-the-moment thing I decided to do on a whim. I know I said I was going to take a break from riffing for a while, but recent outside events have convinced me to take on at least one more ‘fic before I turn out the lights.
You see, ladies and gentlebeings of the Library, I, AdmiralSakai, am a brony.
I wasn’t so hot on the show at first- I thought it was fairly well-written and well-animated, but it was still just a kids show made to sell cheap plastic figurines, and I actually abandoned it entirely right around Season 3. Then a friend of mine (actually the same guy who has contributed to a large number of my projects as “Nick” or “Serketry”) made me sit down and watch the “Cutie Markless” duology, and I immediately fell in love with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Mostly it’s the endless conversations I have with Nick analyzing and theorizing about the bizarre (and beautifully detailed) world Equestria occupies, but I’ve also come to truly appreciate the characters as they have developed over the show’s run, and more to the point it’s just so incredibly obvious that everybody involved in the show’s production genuinely loves their creation and loves their fanbase. Have there been bad episodes? Sure. But there have also been incredible ones, episodes that show off every last bit of creativity and skill and perseverance of a really just exceptional group of people for the whole fandom to see.
*** THIS RIFF WILL FEATURE LOTS OF IN-FIC SACRILEGE. KITTY HAS BROUGHT IN A RINGER TO ATTEMPT TO KEEP HERSELF UNDER CONTROL, BUT THAT MAY NOT HAPPEN. FIERY RIGHTEOUS RAGE-RESISTANT BLANKETS CAN BE FOUND UNDER YOUR SEATS. ***
[Kitty enters the Snark Booth sniffling loudly between fits of hoarse coughing. Her hair is mussed, she’s still in her ratty pajamas, and she’s wrapped in a blanket scarf that doesn’t look very warm. She’s clutching a box of tissues in each hand.]
Kitty: I’mb sick a’d I have to riff. Fuck all of you.
*** THIS RIFF WILL FEATURE LOTS OF IN-FIC SACRILEGE. ADDITIONALLY, SCYTHE MAY POP OFF WITH A PHRASE OR TWO OF KITTY’S IN-PROGRESS CONLANG. TRANSLATIONS WILL APPEAR AT THE END OF THE RIFF. ***
[Kitty enters slowly, currently in the process of dragging her apparently human co-riffer into the Booth by his legs while he tries to anchor himself to the floor with his foreclaws]
Kitty: You— are being— an ass!
Scythe: I’m not doing a pony riff! You can’t make me!
Kitty: The hell I can’t! [giving a sharp jerk on his legs] GET IN HERE!
[The tug rips Scythe off the floor and sends both riffers tumbling into the Booth; the door is slammed shut and locked behind them as they pick themselves up off the floor]
Scythe: [brushing himself off] Well. I suppose we should get started, shouldn’t we?
Title: Philosopher of Earth
Topic: My Little Pony
Genre: Tragedy / Adventure / Sad / Human / Gore
URL: Chapter Three
Critiqued by Crowbar
Oh hey-ho, everyone! This is The Magnificent Crowbar, and I am finally back with the next chapter of this… Trite.
Oh, and the last one was quite a while ago, so here’s a refresher.
Hoo boy, I should not feel even a little bit happy about this.
Anyways, here’s Philosopher of Earth, chapter 3! Enjoy.
*A painter secretly locks and barricades all exits from the viewing room*