Title: When You’re Strange
Media: Video Games
Topic: Mass Effect
URL: When You’re Strange: Chapter 20
URL: When You’re Strange: Chapter 21
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck
Hello folks, and welcome back to When You’re Strange. Last time, we finally confirmed that no, this fic is one of that rare breed of Mass Effect fanfiction that wasn’t interested in giving the Council what for. While that came as a relief, we had other stupid to deal with, some of which was less intensely stupid than you might imagine.
And now we’re back in, with more of this shitty fic. So let’s not waste any time, yeah? Let’s get right to it.
Title: Heroes and Villains
Author: Horrible’s Igor
Media: Television / Movies
Topic: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer / Kitchen Sink
URL: Heroes and Villains
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Eliza
Welcome back to ‘Heroes and Villains’ the fic that dares combine Buffy, Frozen, and Dr. Horrible. With me again is Eliza.
Last time in the fic … uhh.
Not necessarily. It’s more precise to say that it’s hard to tell if anything happened.
Title: My Little Unicorn: Magic Is Believing
Author: Dakari-King Mykan
Topic: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
URL: Chapter 24
Critiqued by Erttheking
Ert: So, any plans for after this so far?
Nora: Not really. Some of the lesser known works you’d like to cover don’t really have fan fiction written about them.
Ert: *Sigh* I suppose we could always dip back into Mass Effect, they never really run out of crappy stories.
Goeth: We’ll find something. In the meantime, the finish line is in sight.
Part 4: Two way doomsday
Ert: Five bucks said that he was more concerned with making it rhyme than having it make sense. It’s Rhymey’s speech patterns in title form.
The minions and their army dashed forth.
Nora: You know Mykan, we talk about thesaurus abuse around here. What we mean when we say that is that some people put in downright ludicrous synonyms for words. A thesaurus is not your enemy. It is your friend. Stop saying dash and charge all the time.
“Scatter…!” said Lightning as he and the others leapt out of the way.
Goeth: Well that added nothing. They were already scattering when he ordered them too.
Nora: Unnecessary orders.
Hello, lovelies! Welcome back to the Library and happy Monday. Today I have a rather interesting pile of word vomit for us to wade through. I’ve seen worse, but I’m not sure if I’ve seen much that’s made less sense.
Normally, at this point, I’d do a quick background on the source material (Disney’s animated movie “Mulan”), but this week it’s pretty much pointless for one reason: Other than the general plot, this story has sod all to do with Mulan. It makes for a short intro, but oh well. We can’t all be SC.
Title: Love of a Spartan
Media: Video Game
URL: No Longer Available Online
Critiqued by Admiral Sakai, Gul, and the Arbiter
“Hello! Hello, everyone! Welcome back from our little crappypasta interlude to the titanic pile of nothing much that is Love of a Spartan!”
Last time, with the battle for Capricornia well and truly lost and everyone’s various medically-dubious injuries at least temporarily treated, Privates Renee Kilburn and Amy Smythe decided to spend their Slipspace jump doing what they do best- following the poor, bored Master Chief around and pestering him like twelve-year-old fangirls. And yes, that’s… really about all there was to it. Hardly even any bashing of Troy Fisher!
Oh, yeah, and then a Covenant Assault Carrier showed up to ruin everyone’s day.
Terrible Troy Counter: 11
Mommy’s Little Marines Counter: 13
Halight Counter: 4
“Chapter Six (five in the story itself) is long and entitled “Infiltration”, which sort of gives away the Covenant’s battle plan before we even start. But it also promises combat, and so there’s at least some chance (however narrow) that the chapter might actually be good.”
This riff took for-fucking-ever and I’m sick of looking at it, so I’m not doing bio pictures this time. Not like that’s any huge loss, right? -SC
Doc: Why’s this guy chained to the floor?
Doc: What, is he made of plutonium? Safety precautions my ass, why is he actually chained to the floor?
???: Because if I weren’t, everybody here would already be dead and I’d be free to return to my unfinished business.
You mean wiping out the Specs and Co. and their respective evil twins, because you think they’re too dangerous to let live, and you feel the need to do the world a favor.
???: If you’re capable of comprehending my reasoning, why not just let me be about my business? It’s not like you care much for any of them, yourself.
Doc: Might have been the part where you just said that you would kill us and everybody else who got in your way in order to escape.
That, and I’m kind of the anchor point for their souls, so you’d have to kill me anyhow. Call me crazy, but I’m not a big fan of dying.
???: If it makes you feel better, it’s not as though I’d enjoy doing it.
Doc: Yeah, oddly enough, that just makes me want to throw more chains on you.
Hello, Patrons, and welcome back to MBCD!
When last we left KaytSue, she had just finished having a prophetic dream that left her with the realization that she is in love with someone who is as yet unnamed.
“We’re gonna have sex!”
:scoots chair away from Syl: And that would be our resident Free Trader, who thinks there’s going to be a sex scene in this chapter.
“You said that when What’s-her-name confesses to Whomever that they would have sex!”
I said I thought that she would have sex, but that may or may not happen. She might not even get around to confessing in this chapter.
“I went to the trouble of having these bleachers built.” :points to nearby bleachers where numerous minions are seated: “So you better hope something happens or I will make it happen. No pressure, though.”
Right. No pressure. :squints: Is that the Perversion Fellowship?
“We really need to come up with a better name. That makes it sound like we’re journeying to Mordor in search of orc porn.”