Title: When You’re Strange
Media: Video Games
Topic: Mass Effect
URL: When You’re Strange: Chapter 20
URL: When You’re Strange: Chapter 21
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck
Hello folks, and welcome back to When You’re Strange. Last time, we finally confirmed that no, this fic is one of that rare breed of Mass Effect fanfiction that wasn’t interested in giving the Council what for. While that came as a relief, we had other stupid to deal with, some of which was less intensely stupid than you might imagine.
And now we’re back in, with more of this shitty fic. So let’s not waste any time, yeah? Let’s get right to it.
Title: Heroes and Villains
Author: Horrible’s Igor
Media: Television / Movies
Topic: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer / Kitchen Sink
URL: Heroes and Villains
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Eliza
Welcome back to ‘Heroes and Villains’ the fic that dares combine Buffy, Frozen, and Dr. Horrible. With me again is Eliza.
Last time in the fic … uhh.
Not necessarily. It’s more precise to say that it’s hard to tell if anything happened.
Title: My Little Unicorn: Magic Is Believing
Author: Dakari-King Mykan
Topic: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
URL: Chapter 24
Critiqued by Erttheking
Ert: So, any plans for after this so far?
Nora: Not really. Some of the lesser known works you’d like to cover don’t really have fan fiction written about them.
Ert: *Sigh* I suppose we could always dip back into Mass Effect, they never really run out of crappy stories.
Goeth: We’ll find something. In the meantime, the finish line is in sight.
Part 4: Two way doomsday
Ert: Five bucks said that he was more concerned with making it rhyme than having it make sense. It’s Rhymey’s speech patterns in title form.
The minions and their army dashed forth.
Nora: You know Mykan, we talk about thesaurus abuse around here. What we mean when we say that is that some people put in downright ludicrous synonyms for words. A thesaurus is not your enemy. It is your friend. Stop saying dash and charge all the time.
“Scatter…!” said Lightning as he and the others leapt out of the way.
Goeth: Well that added nothing. They were already scattering when he ordered them too.
Nora: Unnecessary orders.
Hello, lovelies! Welcome back to the Library and happy Monday. Today I have a rather interesting pile of word vomit for us to wade through. I’ve seen worse, but I’m not sure if I’ve seen much that’s made less sense.
Normally, at this point, I’d do a quick background on the source material (Disney’s animated movie “Mulan”), but this week it’s pretty much pointless for one reason: Other than the general plot, this story has sod all to do with Mulan. It makes for a short intro, but oh well. We can’t all be SC.
Title: Love of a Spartan
Media: Video Game
URL: No Longer Available Online
Critiqued by Admiral Sakai, Gul, and the Arbiter
“Hello! Hello, everyone! Welcome back from our little crappypasta interlude to the titanic pile of nothing much that is Love of a Spartan!”
Last time, with the battle for Capricornia well and truly lost and everyone’s various medically-dubious injuries at least temporarily treated, Privates Renee Kilburn and Amy Smythe decided to spend their Slipspace jump doing what they do best- following the poor, bored Master Chief around and pestering him like twelve-year-old fangirls. And yes, that’s… really about all there was to it. Hardly even any bashing of Troy Fisher!
Oh, yeah, and then a Covenant Assault Carrier showed up to ruin everyone’s day.
Terrible Troy Counter: 11
Mommy’s Little Marines Counter: 13
Halight Counter: 4
“Chapter Six (five in the story itself) is long and entitled “Infiltration”, which sort of gives away the Covenant’s battle plan before we even start. But it also promises combat, and so there’s at least some chance (however narrow) that the chapter might actually be good.”