1883: Rage, Burning Bright

Title: Rage, Burning Bright
Author:  Machina Super Monstrum
Media: Video Game
Topic: Warframe
Genre: Drama/Angst
URL: Rage, Burning Bright
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey folks, welcome to another Taco Wednesday!  Yeah, that’s right,  I don’t have to bend to your trendy alliteration!

This week I’ve got a new source material for you all: Warframe.  For the uninitiated, Warframe is a free-to-play game where you essentially get to be a futuristic space ninja called a Tenno whose consciousness controls futuristic suits of power armor called warframes.  The actual plot of the game takes a pretty hefty backseat to the gameplay and exists mostly as lore that you can dig up from the in-game Codex. Warframe somewhat oldschool in that regard, so I don’t have much in the way of an infodump for you all.  And, in fact, this fic exists pretty well apart from any canon plot.  The bare-bones of the plot is that centuries ago the Orokin controlled the Sol solar system and tried to expand to the Tau system.  This pissed off the Sentients, a machine race that were already living there, which kicked off a massive war.  Many atrocities later, which included unleashing the Infestation, the Orokin eventually learned to tap into void energy in order to create Warframes piloted by the Tenno.  These warframes were eventually able to push back the Sentients, who had been winning the war, retake all their territory, and eventually crush them.  In their last-ditch effort to avoid complete extermination, the Sentients unleashed Natah who took control of the warframes and turned them back against the Orokin.  This left both empires essentially destroyed and the war ended.  At this point Natah was supposed to destroy the warframes to complete her mission, but as she had grown an affection for them, instead placed them in stasis.

Centuries later the Sol system has become divided by two rivaling factions: The Grineer, the ancient military slave-race of the Orokin, and the Corpus, a merchant faction based around technological research and trade.  At this point both the Grineer and Corpus begin to “dig too deep” for the ancient technologies.  The Grineer, in their attempts to capture the weapons of Orokin, inadvertently begin an awakening of the Warframes, who, under the direction of Lotus, forcibly take up a position of balance and peace keepers between the two factions.  Meanwhile, the Corpus begin to experiment with the remnants of the Infestation, which had previously been battled back into a state of quasi-dormancy by the Grineer.  These experiments rather predictably end with them unleashing a brand-new full-blown Infestation. This quickly catches Lotus’s attention and she sends the Warframes in to investigate and start to work on fighting back the rising tide of infested.

As for the game itself, I’d call it among the best free-to-play games currently out there.  The game’s model allows access to the vast majority of content without requiring any purchase, with all of the things absolutely requiring money being aesthetic in nature.  There IS a premium currency that’s primarily used to unlock extra equipment storage, speed up farming, or buy more aesthetics, but the game allows it to be traded for items, so those who don’t want to spend any of their own money can farm up some sought-after equipment and trade players whose wallets are a bit looser.  It helps that the game itself is also pretty damn fun, provided that jumping around like a cocaine-fueled rhesus monkey while spraying bullets everywhere and hitting things with a giant axe fits your description of fun.  It certainly fits mine.

And that’s way more than you really need to know for this fic.  The fic is “Rage, Burning Bright,” and if that mega-edgelord title is anything to go by, we may as well queue up all the Linkin Park and Evanescence songs right now.

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1877: Toxic Promises – Oneshot

Title: Toxic Promises
Author: Girl With The Dandelion
Media: Movies
Topic: Land Before Time / Jurassic Park
Genre: Romance / Angst
URL: Toxic Promises
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey,patrons,welcomebacktoWednesday!Ididn’tsleepwelllastnightandhavehadfivecupsofcoffeeinthelasthoursoletsgetriffing!

BAAAAAAAA!

*GONG*

Thanks, bud, I think I’m good now.

So, it wouldn’t be a one-shot marathon without something with dinosaurs in it!

BAAAAAA!

Adopted doesn’t count because it wasn’t a one-shot.

Anyway, for our obligatory Dinosaur fic, I’ve got a cross that could possibly work!  It doesn’t, but it could!  The cross is Land Before Time and Jurassic Park.  And I’m saying it could work because they both involve dinosaurs.  You know, sorta like how The Shawshank Redemption and Ace Ventura both have humans in it!

Since neither of these are new canons, we can just get right to it with the summary!

What normally would have taken months, even years to adjust to, took only a few minutes for Cera to fathom.

Hey look, overwrought prose in an angst fic, who could have predicted that!?

BAAA.

Look, personally I consider the word misuse a bonus, but you can call it what you like.

Given that summary and the edgelord name “Toxic Promises” you all should have some idea of what we’re getting into.  So let’s go!

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1871: What The Slayer Saw

Title: What The Slayer Saw
Author: Reallybored2
Media: Television/Movies
Topic: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer / Star Wars
Genre: Whining
URL: What The Slayer Saw
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, folks, welcome to Wednesday!  Well, once again we’re staring down a Star Wars fic, but this time we’re crossing it with Buffy: The Vampire Slayer because why the fuck not, right?

And no, I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself.  But at least I’m not doing a Land Before Time fic, right?

*Eyes up his pile of oneshots*

Right?

Anyway, let’s see what the summary has to offer!

Buffy realizes something.

And that’s it.  That’s the summary.  I can already see that we’re going to be getting a lot of descriptive narrative in this one.

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1866: The adventure of The Doctor – Oneshot

Title: The adventure of The Doctor
Author: Butchee
Media: Cartoon / Television
Topic: DuckTales / Doctor Who
Genre: Family/Adventure
URL: The adventure of The Doctor
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, patrons!  Let’s keep this oneshot train rolling by digging up another canon I haven’t touched in a while: DuckTales!  This time, we’re going to cross it with Doctor Who, because why the hell not!?

For those wondering, this will be the 10th Doctor (The popular David Tennat version).  The Doctor is never explicitly described in the fic, so I had to look at the character list to find out which it was.

Anyway, let’s start where we always do, with the summary!

When The Doctor gets sucked into a dimension,and Gyro Gearloose’s invention is to blame.  But also the solution…

Well, we’re certainly off to a great start!  Onwards and into the fic!

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1860: Phineas and Ferb: Legend of Boggy Creek (ON HOLD!) – Oneshot

Title: Phineas and Ferb: Legend of Boggy Creek (ON HOLD!)
Author: Bowserbutt
Media: Cartoon / Movie
Topic: Phineas and Ferb / Legend of Boggy Creek
Genre: Adventure/Mystery
URL: Phineas and Ferb: Legend of Boggy Creek (ON HOLD!)
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, peoples, welcome back to Wednesday.  Now that the birthday festivities are behind us, and the repair crews are busy handling the aftermath, I’m once again flying solo!

Since I’m on this on-shot binge, I figured I’d dig into an old favorite canon of mine: Phineas and Ferb.  There’s a glut of really bad fics in that canon, which makes it a wonderland of material for the sharks.  This time, though, I’ve found something that defies all… everything.  This week we’re going to tackle a Phineas and Ferb crossover with The Legend of Boggy Creek.

Now, if you’re wondering about that second canon, I’ve got a small infodump on it for you.  The Legend of Boggy Creek is a series of three budget movies from the 70s and 80s:  The Legend of Boggy Creek, Return to Boggy Creek, and Boggy Creek 2: And The Legend Continues.  Now, before you call me out on typoing, yes there are actually two different sequels to the original, and both are terrible.  This crossover, however, only deals with the first movie.  The first movie is a faux documentary-style horror movie revolving around the Fouke monster, a Bigfoot-like creature that’s allegedly been spotted in the Fouke Arkansas area as far back as 1891.  The movie was actually the precursor to the Blair Witch Project, as the later film purposefully utilized the same cinematic style.  The directors also cited The Legend of Boggy Creek as one of the primary cinematographic influences.

But that’s really all you really need to know about The Legend of Boggy Creek:  It’s a horror film about a swamp sasquatch which is stylized as a documentary (the film, not the sasquatch).  Despite how terrible the sequels are, I do recommend giving the original a look if for no other reason to see the historical origins of more modern movies that use similar stylistic choices.

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1855: Earthbound: Forgotten Heroes – Oneshot

Title: Earthbound: Forgotten Heroes
Author: TrashyFlower
Media: Video Game
Topic: EarthBound
Genre: Adventure/Humor
URL: Earthbound: Forgotten Heroes
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, folks!  It’s that time again!  Time for Earthbound!

*Swenia swaggers in carrying Jiwe*

“Good, that seems tame enough.”

What are you doing here?

“Procuring a babysitter.”

*Swenia plops Jiwe onto Taco’s lap*

What!? Why?  Can’t you use one of the minions?

“Not today.  We’re busy getting the birthday party ready and, as you know, that’s an ‘all hands on deck’ situation.  And since somebody is too busy riffing to help, I figured he could at least watch the guest of honor while we set up.”

That time of year again, is it?

“I’ve been told to expect it almost annually.  Now you two have fun!”

*Swenia saunters out*

Can’t you just walk like normal people!?

“I’m not a normal people!”

*Taco heaves a sigh and look at Jiwe*

I suppose you’re my co-pilot today, then.

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1849: Super Metriod Phazon – Oneshot

Title: Super Metroid Phazon
Author: SamtheMetroid
Media: Video Game
Topic: Metroid / Pikmin
Genre: Sci-fi / Fantasy
URL: Super Metroid Phazon
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, patrons, welcome back to Wednesday!  It’s been a while since we’ve done a Metroid fic, so I figured I’d dust off the genre and get cracking on one!

Although, in this case, it’s a cross with Pikmin, which is a canon we’ve not featured in the Library previously.

Luckily, Pikmin is a series of games where the main focus is more on the game part and less on the story part, so there isn’t much to cover.  The basic premise of the series is that you control a tiny alien who’s crash-landed on an Earth-like planet called PNF-404, and use a bunch of tiny plant slaves to do your bidding (In the first game the focus is fixing your ship, later games have slightly more variety of mission).   In later installments there are multiple characters to control who have slightly different skill sets, but the basic premise of the series remains the same: you control your tiny sentient plant horde to wreck terrible violence upon the small creatures of PNF-404.

Graaaaaaaaaaaains….

Anyway, let’s see how this will get mixed with Metroid!

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