2432: Book of Digimon – Chapter Two

Title: The Book of Digimon rewrite
Author: MarkoRagnos629
Media: Kids Shows
Topic: Star Wars, Digimon, And the Bible
Genre: Self Insert Power Fantasy
URL: The Book of Digimon rewrite
Critiqued by Zeus, Martinov Petra, And Thomas Svarti.

*recording starts up*

Zeus: Hello again, we’re continuing the riff of “Book of Digimon.” To sum up the last two parts-a caricature of the Old Republic decided to send Barriss Office to the slave pens of Tatooine (despite knowing damn well what it’s like). Then two OC/Self Inserts came in, and somehow made the fic worse by not only including SWTOR references, along with being overpowered to the point that even Starkiller would’ve been reasonable, but there were implications that God was involved in the creation of the TRUE CODE of the Jedi. 

And there were Digimon, but when you screw up Star Wars to the degree of Bright, nobody really cares at that point.

Martinov: Not to mention that everyone was out of character. And a chump.

Svarti: And the less said about the light show, the better.

Read the rest of this entry »

2431: Kirby: Welcome to Smash Bros – Chapters Three and Four

Title: Kirby: Welcome to Smash Bros
Author: Quartz2006
Media: Video Game
Topic: Super Smash Bros.
Genre: Romance
URL: Chapter 3 and Chapter 4
Critiqued by Elysium16 and Rimura

Note from the Editor: As a way of apologizing to our guest writers for missing last Saturday, I’m ceding my Wednesday spot this week to do a little catch-up on the backlog.  I’ll be back next week with my own material.

(The room from last time is no longer empty—it now has a wooden table with a Switch on it, a TV, and a dark red couch. On that couch is Elysium, with Rimura standing off to the side.)

Elysium: Welcome back, patrons!

Last time, in between lots of padding, Kirby was informed by his parents that he was going to Super Smash Bros., a revelation that triggered two DRD visits. This time is our first combined chapter, mostly because Chapter 3 is a whole lot of nothing.

Let’s go!

Read the rest of this entry »

2426: Voicebox Ch. 4

Title: Voicebox: A Ticci Toby fanfiction
Author: WhiteSiren
Media: Creepypasta
Topic: Ticci Toby/Jeff the Killer/ Slenderman / etc.
Genre: Horror/Romance
URL: Voicebox
Critiqued by PsychoNerd054

In the previous fucking chapter of this story, the sue was planning to kill off a little kid and his family for the atrocious crime of *gasp* pushing her little sister into a mud puddle. Will she accomplish this and get off scot free?

Chapter 4

That night after helping Father prepare several different dishes for everyone’s dinner, 

What no filler scene talking about everyone’s food? This chapter gets an automatic 0/10 for a lack of consistency!

getting Father’s permission to go on a killing spree and changing into our normal killing outfits, 

“Blood stains regular clothes you know!”

Read the rest of this entry »

2425: Threads of fate – Oneshot

Title: Threads of fate
Author: Atlas Bloodstone
Media: Video Game
Topic: Legend of Dragoon
Genre: Drama/Humor (Also known as edge or agnst)
URL: Threads of fate
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Swenia

*Taco drags himself into the riffing chamber and flops down into a chair next to Swenia, who has her head reclined back with a large bag of ice resting across her eyes*

Rough morning?

*Swenia pulls the bag off her face, revealing a puffy right eye* “Naw.  I was doing a little morning sparring with some of the new military folk we seem to be collecting.  That Asari has a mean left hook.”

Well, I’m surprised it’s so munda-

“Of course, she stopped pulling her punches after I made a pass at her.  Well, a couple passes.”  *She winces while gingerly testing the eye with her fingers*  “I think I’m in there.”

There it is.  Wait, don’t you have like a crazy healing factor or something?

“‘Accelerated’ just means the swelling hits hard, fast, and goes away without a bruise.  Twenty minutes and it’ll be fine.  It’s great on the battlefield when you got a hormone cocktail loaded with adrenaline and endorphins going, but it stings like a bitch when you’re just sitting at home.  But, as much as I love talking about me, what are we doing this morning?”

I’m glad you asked!  This week we’re diving back into my pile of Legend of Dragoon fanfiction to dig out a short, edgelordy little fic called “Threads of fate” by Atlas Bloodstone.

“Woof.  I’m already getting some of that edgelord flavor just off that name alone.  But that doesn’t explain why you need me here.”

Call it repayment for me dragging Jiwe out of the colored goo room last week.

“Fine.  Why do we even have that room, anyway?”

Dude, where else are we going to keep all our colored goo?  Summary time!

A young wingly is held captive in his own home for murder. Precious sulfur and soot, the battle begins in a dimly lit room, where he is being tried and covicted of killing

“That is starting off on a pretty foreboding note.”

*Taco furiously thumbs through a book*

“The hell are you doing over there?”

Speed Latin-ing.  Covicted: A reduction of Comvincere meaning to conquer together or to conquer completely.

“Well, that’s neat and all, but we should probably get to covicting this fic.”

Read the rest of this entry »

2423: The Book of Digimon: Chapter One, Part Two

Title: The Book of Digimon rewrite
Author: MarkoRagnos629
Media: Kids Shows
Topic: Star Wars, Digimon, And the Bible
Genre: Self Insert Power Fantasy
URL: The Book of Digimon rewrite
Critiqued by Zeus, Martinov Petra, And Thomas Svarti.

*recording starts up again, some time later*

Martinov: Okay, are you feeling better?

Zeus: Yeah…I’m sorry ‘bout that. It’s just…well…

Svarti: You didn’t like the violation of galactic history?

Zeus: Well, Yeah, But i was more pissed at the implication with Ashoka. Every time I see something like that, I assume that they want to write her having sex. The fact that she’s 14 here just really grinds my gears.

(Side note: I largely don’t care about shipping her Rebels counterpart, as the whole “under the legal age of consent” thing is irrelevant there.)

Martinov: Quick question-does the force heal muscle atrophy?

Svarti:…why? Read the rest of this entry »

2419: Kirby: Welcome to Smash Bros – Chapter Two

Title: Kirby: Welcome to Smash Bros
Author: Quartz2006
Media: Video Game
Topic: Super Smash Bros.
Genre: Romance
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by Elysium16 and Rimura

(In an empty room, tucked away in a corner of the Library…)

Elysium: Welcome back to Kirby: Welcome to Smash Bros!

Rimura: Last time, absolutely nothing of note happened. Well, aside from the main character turning out to be adorable, of course.

Elysium: Aha! So you admit it!

Rimura: *sigh*

Elysium: This time, we’ve upgraded! Now, instead of the kitchen, we get our own room to riff in! Of course, the decorating’s not done yet, but I’m sure we’ll get everything organized by the fic’s end.

…oh, and we’re actually going to start the story! Ain’t that lovely.

Chapter 2: Sad News

Read the rest of this entry »

2418: Bizarre Billion Beans Blizzard – Oneshot

Title: Bizarre Billion Beans Blizzard
Author: SharanMcQuack
Media: Cartoon / Comic Book
Topic: Duck Tales
Genre: Adventure / Family
URL: Bizarre Billion Beans Blizzard
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Jiwe

*Taco walks into the riffing chamber with Jiwe in tow*

Well, patrons, it’s that time of year again.  Somebody’s five today-

“It’s me!”

-which means I’m on babysitting duty while the crew prepares a party that will hopefully not end in a full-Library respawn event.  Again.

Anyway, since I’ve got Shrimpy with me this week, you should all brace yourselves for my annual family-friendly riff!  This time we’re heading back into the land of Duck Tales fanficion and revisiting an old friend of ours, SharanMcQuack, who’s work I riffed way back in the Library’s second year.  Sharan has been pretty prolific in her writing since her first feature in 2013, but, sadly, I cannot say her writing has improved much.  As you’re about to see, it might actually have gotten worse.

Fortunately for us all, in searching through Sharan’s more recent fics, I was able to find one that doesn’t involve her OC having any dialogue, so we won’t have to suffer through her sitting on the sidelines and making snide remarks at the cast like in the last one.  You’ll still have to suffer through me doing it, but at least it’s only the one of us.

“What about me?”

You’re too young to be snide.


Anyway, let’s start with the relatively non-alarming summary:

Magica siccs a billions beans vs the Bin in an attempt to get the Dime.

While I’m not sure what “siccs” means, at least this is a summary.

“I know!  Sicks is throwing up!”

So far as plans go, throwing up billions of beans at somebody is not the worst one.  Still, gotta be better ways to get ten cents.

Read the rest of this entry »