1877: Toxic Promises – Oneshot

Title: Toxic Promises
Author: Girl With The Dandelion
Media: Movies
Topic: Land Before Time / Jurassic Park
Genre: Romance / Angst
URL: Toxic Promises
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey,patrons,welcomebacktoWednesday!Ididn’tsleepwelllastnightandhavehadfivecupsofcoffeeinthelasthoursoletsgetriffing!

BAAAAAAAA!

*GONG*

Thanks, bud, I think I’m good now.

So, it wouldn’t be a one-shot marathon without something with dinosaurs in it!

BAAAAAA!

Adopted doesn’t count because it wasn’t a one-shot.

Anyway, for our obligatory Dinosaur fic, I’ve got a cross that could possibly work!  It doesn’t, but it could!  The cross is Land Before Time and Jurassic Park.  And I’m saying it could work because they both involve dinosaurs.  You know, sorta like how The Shawshank Redemption and Ace Ventura both have humans in it!

Since neither of these are new canons, we can just get right to it with the summary!

What normally would have taken months, even years to adjust to, took only a few minutes for Cera to fathom.

Hey look, overwrought prose in an angst fic, who could have predicted that!?

BAAA.

Look, personally I consider the word misuse a bonus, but you can call it what you like.

Given that summary and the edgelord name “Toxic Promises” you all should have some idea of what we’re getting into.  So let’s go!

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1871: What The Slayer Saw

Title: What The Slayer Saw
Author: Reallybored2
Media: Television/Movies
Topic: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer / Star Wars
Genre: Whining
URL: What The Slayer Saw
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, folks, welcome to Wednesday!  Well, once again we’re staring down a Star Wars fic, but this time we’re crossing it with Buffy: The Vampire Slayer because why the fuck not, right?

And no, I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself.  But at least I’m not doing a Land Before Time fic, right?

*Eyes up his pile of oneshots*

Right?

Anyway, let’s see what the summary has to offer!

Buffy realizes something.

And that’s it.  That’s the summary.  I can already see that we’re going to be getting a lot of descriptive narrative in this one.

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1866: The adventure of The Doctor – Oneshot

Title: The adventure of The Doctor
Author: Butchee
Media: Cartoon / Television
Topic: DuckTales / Doctor Who
Genre: Family/Adventure
URL: The adventure of The Doctor
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, patrons!  Let’s keep this oneshot train rolling by digging up another canon I haven’t touched in a while: DuckTales!  This time, we’re going to cross it with Doctor Who, because why the hell not!?

For those wondering, this will be the 10th Doctor (The popular David Tennat version).  The Doctor is never explicitly described in the fic, so I had to look at the character list to find out which it was.

Anyway, let’s start where we always do, with the summary!

When The Doctor gets sucked into a dimension,and Gyro Gearloose’s invention is to blame.  But also the solution…

Well, we’re certainly off to a great start!  Onwards and into the fic!

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1860: Phineas and Ferb: Legend of Boggy Creek (ON HOLD!) – Oneshot

Title: Phineas and Ferb: Legend of Boggy Creek (ON HOLD!)
Author: Bowserbutt
Media: Cartoon / Movie
Topic: Phineas and Ferb / Legend of Boggy Creek
Genre: Adventure/Mystery
URL: Phineas and Ferb: Legend of Boggy Creek (ON HOLD!)
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, peoples, welcome back to Wednesday.  Now that the birthday festivities are behind us, and the repair crews are busy handling the aftermath, I’m once again flying solo!

Since I’m on this on-shot binge, I figured I’d dig into an old favorite canon of mine: Phineas and Ferb.  There’s a glut of really bad fics in that canon, which makes it a wonderland of material for the sharks.  This time, though, I’ve found something that defies all… everything.  This week we’re going to tackle a Phineas and Ferb crossover with The Legend of Boggy Creek.

Now, if you’re wondering about that second canon, I’ve got a small infodump on it for you.  The Legend of Boggy Creek is a series of three budget movies from the 70s and 80s:  The Legend of Boggy Creek, Return to Boggy Creek, and Boggy Creek 2: And The Legend Continues.  Now, before you call me out on typoing, yes there are actually two different sequels to the original, and both are terrible.  This crossover, however, only deals with the first movie.  The first movie is a faux documentary-style horror movie revolving around the Fouke monster, a Bigfoot-like creature that’s allegedly been spotted in the Fouke Arkansas area as far back as 1891.  The movie was actually the precursor to the Blair Witch Project, as the later film purposefully utilized the same cinematic style.  The directors also cited The Legend of Boggy Creek as one of the primary cinematographic influences.

But that’s really all you really need to know about The Legend of Boggy Creek:  It’s a horror film about a swamp sasquatch which is stylized as a documentary (the film, not the sasquatch).  Despite how terrible the sequels are, I do recommend giving the original a look if for no other reason to see the historical origins of more modern movies that use similar stylistic choices.

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1855: Earthbound: Forgotten Heroes – Oneshot

Title: Earthbound: Forgotten Heroes
Author: TrashyFlower
Media: Video Game
Topic: EarthBound
Genre: Adventure/Humor
URL: Earthbound: Forgotten Heroes
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, folks!  It’s that time again!  Time for Earthbound!

*Swenia swaggers in carrying Jiwe*

“Good, that seems tame enough.”

What are you doing here?

“Procuring a babysitter.”

*Swenia plops Jiwe onto Taco’s lap*

What!? Why?  Can’t you use one of the minions?

“Not today.  We’re busy getting the birthday party ready and, as you know, that’s an ‘all hands on deck’ situation.  And since somebody is too busy riffing to help, I figured he could at least watch the guest of honor while we set up.”

That time of year again, is it?

“I’ve been told to expect it almost annually.  Now you two have fun!”

*Swenia saunters out*

Can’t you just walk like normal people!?

“I’m not a normal people!”

*Taco heaves a sigh and look at Jiwe*

I suppose you’re my co-pilot today, then.

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1844: Adam and the Chipmunks Diablo Trailer – Oneshot

Title: Adam and the Chipmunks Diablo Trailer
Author: chipmunkfanantic
Media: Video Game / Television
Topic: Alvin and the Chipmunks / Diablo
Genre: Mystery/Fantasy
URL: Adam and the Chipmunks Diablo Trailer
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Gonna be in for a bit of a short one today.  I feel like death warmed over, so I decided I needed a little pile of fail rather than a heap.  That’s when I remembered I had something in my stack that fits the bill.

It’s also a hot mess, so this should be fun.  But, what else can you really expect for a Diablo / Alvin and the Chipmunks crossover.

No, you did not read that wrong.  On a better day I’d give infodumps of both those canons, but today is not a better day and, frankly, the canons won’t provide any context to help this thing.

So how hot of a mess is it?  Well…

A story based on the famous first game diablo Grant a general for a war fought by a king soon gives him and his group that has worked along side him for so long to now find out what is going on in a small town called Tristram but of what they find is shocking it will send them to the depths of hell to vanquish it as there will be many twists and turns from the church to Hell R&R

You’ll probably notice right off the bat that sentences aren’t a strong point of this author.

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1838: Fallout Tetris – Oneshot

Title: Fallout Tetris
Author: Nigel Yearning
Media: Video Game
Topic: Fallout / Tetris
Genre: Drama
URL: Fallout Tetris
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Today I have a very special treat for you, A Fallout x Tetris crossover!  Now don’t get excited, it’s not as crazy as you think.  Personally I was hoping for the adventures of L-block in Fallout: NV or something, but the reality turned out to be far more mundane than expected.  I could get into that, but the summary covers it pretty well:

A Wastelander accidentally finds a game of Tetris after falling down a flight of stairs, she soon takes it and heads over to an nearby town to get it cashed in. Oneshot.

Now, you might notice that the fic is also sporting the coveted “drama” tag.  If you’re wondering how that summary could lead to something dramatic, then you’re not alone.  So strap in while we find the answer to that question.

Spoilers: it doesn’t.

Anyway, on with the show!

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