*Taco drags himself into the riffing chamber, a box of tissues in one hand and a steaming cup of tea in the other*
Hey, patrons, it’s that magical time of year again! *Hack cough* Cold and flu season.
I’m going to keep things short today and only do one chapter; partly because I’m sick, but also because chapters four and five are a bit longer than the previous chapters. Last time we got a lot of stupid. So much that it’s hard to summarize, but the gist is that the courier attacks the Axiom with a bunch of soldiers and robots and probably kills everyone. It’s pretty vague and there was a weird section about filling the captain’s quarters with tears, so it’s equally likely that the courier gave everyone a time out and took away their Super Nintendo for the rest of the week.
Anyway, let’s get to it before the cold medicine kicks in and I pass out.
Hey, patrons, welcome back to “Dawn By Eye!”
In our last installment, we received what was essentially the beginning of Fallout: New Vegas but with the courier playing the part of Benny, and EVE playing the part of the courier. Because apparently that’s how writing works these days.
Well, terrible writing, anyway.
There was also a pointless scene in there about the crew of the Axiom setting up “repopulation camps,” which I think we’re all better off not thinking about. Following that was an even more pointless scene where WALL-E is fetched by EVE for a meeting with Captain McCrea.
And that was pretty much it since the bulk of the riff ended up being info dumping and cinematography shop-talk on my part. This week should be more fic-focused, so let’s head on in!
Hey, patrons! I’m back and ready to tackle another mini-project before moving onto something meatier. This mini-project is “Dawn By Eye” a WALL-E crossover with Fallout.
I’ll give you all a minute.
You all back? Good. So, for those who somehow have gone without seeing the movie, WALL-E is a Pixar movie featuring the titular character WALL-E, an automated garbage cleanup robot, and his adventures with EVE, a botanical specimen retrieval robot. The basic premise of the movie, which really doesn’t do it justice, is that at some point in the future rampant consumerism has left the world a giant garbage dump and humanity has to abandon it temporarily while everything is cleaned up. That’s where WALL-E comes into the picture. He’s the last remaining cleanup robot who is still doing his job one compacted garbage block at a time.
However, due to the extensive time he’s spent alone in autonomous mode, his programming has started to drift and he’s gone all “ghost in the machine.” He’s developed a personality as well as a huge collection of curiosities he’s found while digging through all the garbage. Eventually EVE shows up on her mission to find signs of plant life which would indicate that Earth is one again habitable.
Look, I’m not going to regurgitate the whole movie, so if you really want to know the low-down on WALL-E, just go watch it. The really important point I want to bring up here isn’t necessarily the plot of the movie anyway, but rather the way the movie is put together and presented. See, the thing that makes WALL-E so interesting is that it utilizes almost no dialogue to tell the main story, it’s almost entirely visual. Yes there is dialogue that tells the supporting story of the trash-heap that is future Earth, but the primary story of WALL-E and EVE as told from their perspective is essentially a story without any substantial dialogue.
This is one of those things that Pixar has excelled at for a long time and they have showcased through their fairly substantial library of short films. Pixar knows how to show something in the purest form. No words, no exposition, just visual storytelling. Probably their most famous example of this is the intro to UP that portrays the relationship of Carl and Ellie in an extremely powerful way.
WALL-E is that skill taken to the length of nearly an entire movie. Now, I bring this up specifically because it’s visual storytelling. Visual.
That should be a pretty hefty warning sign for most folk who are familiar with fanfiction. It would be difficult enough for a skilled veteran writer to convey a visual story with words, and here we’ve got an amateur trying to do just that. While also trying to mix in Fallout at the same time.
Title: Butch x Reader: I Think You’re Pretty
Author: Ugly Kitty Cat Sweater
Topic: Power Puff Girls
URL: Butch x Reader: I Think You’re Pretty
Critiqued by TacoMagic & Swenia
Hey, patrons! As promised, this week I’m brining you a smut fic! Featuring trains! Since it’s a smut fit, well, somebody insisted on helping.
“Hi, patrons! Let’s get to the sex already!”
The train sex.
“Wait, trains? Why are trains having sex?”
Did you not see the context last week? This is a Thomas and Friends fic.
“I feel lied to! I didn’t sign up for train sex! Why didn’t you say anything!”
“Why didn’t you make me pay attention!?”
Anyway, for anyone wondering, this is Butch:
He’s a breakdown truck with a big-ol winch on him.
*Swenia waggles her eyebrows*
Oh for crap’s sake.
“If you’re going to rope an unsuspecting gal into train sex, you can’t blame her for enjoying herself anyway.”
Anyway, Butch’s main job is assisting when stuff breaks by dragging or towing it. Pretty easy. He doesn’t appear a whole lot in the show, but the vast majority of the characters are like that, appearing in only one or two episodes yet somehow cultivating sometimes quite rabid followings.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s check out the summary!
I’M NOT GOOD WITH SUMMARIES SO LET’S GET THIS OVER WITH!
“That’s a good sign.”
Hello and welcome back! Originally I was going to feature some of the Thomas the Tank Engine smut I found, but decided against it. There’s only so much homosexual train sex I can subject you all to, so I think some things are better off never bringing to light.
Well, at least not until next week, anyway.
So, in lieu of of getting to see Thomas getting railed by Diesel Ten, I’ve brought you the Tom and Jerry fic “It Started With That Girl.” That Girl is probably GirlWoman, so we’re all very excited.
I mean, she is most definitely not a Sue, right!?
Layla. Layla Katherine Munson.
She’s an odd one. She stands up for Mouse/Cat friendship.
… right? Please?
She eats fish and cheese.
I suppose that’s better than the damn panda who keeps shooting up our bar.
What else? Oh, yeah. She’s half cat and half mouse.
Of course. You can’t have a Tom and Jerry fic without those two going on a homosexual romp, right? Not to say that there’s anything wrong with a homosexual romp, but Tom is like ten-times the size of Jerry. The logistics are both unlikely and/or extremely painful from Jerry’s end of things.
Hey, patrons! Given that I’m writing this on Halloween, I figured I’d keep with the spoopy theme and dig a Resident Evil fic out of my pile!
I’m so, so sorry.
Anyway, this week we’ve got a fic based loosely, very loosely, on Resident Evil 2, which is arguably the best game in the series. Not that you’ll need to know much about the game, since it really won’t matter at all. You’ll see why in… now:
Hey, patrons! We’ve got a holiday coming up, so you know what that means? Yup, another holiday-themed Final Fantasy VII fic! Aren’t you just super excited!?
Tough, we’re doing it anyway. Let’s take a look at the steamy summary before we jump in!
Here’s what happens some of our fave FFVII gals do their part for Halloween.
I am suddenly filled with deep foreboding. It’s probably nothing.