2359: Sonichu — Issue 3, Episodes 10 and 11

Title: Sonichu
Author: Christine Weston Chandler, aka. Christopher Weston Chandler, aka. Christian Weston Chandler, aka. Chris-Chan
Media: Webcomic
Topic: Sonic The Hedgehog / Pokemon / IRL / Yu-Gi-Oh
Genre: “Parody”, apparently.
URL: Issue 3 Template Box
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to the manifold wonders of Sonichu.

Last time Chris-Chan Sonichu, Sarah Nicole Hammer, and Wes Iseli got (for the most part) over their stupid soap opera bullshit and agreed to stop the Evil that had been released with their Anchuent Hedgehog Powers. This Evil took the form of a giant golem in an Egyptian headdress, controlled by a talking purple Sno Cone named Count Graduon, who had cut a deal with the witch Mary Lee Walsh to carry him around in exchange for assistance in her own mission of “shattering hearts” (whatever that means). The Power Chus kicked the golem’s ass and sent both Graduon and Walsh packing (or, rather, just let them run away), but then in the Sub-Episode Chris tracked Walsh to her office and appeared to kill her.

I wonder what Giovanni and Hedgehog Of Color are up to?

Typo Cunter: 45

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2355: Game of Thrones and Dragons – Chapter 1

 

Author: ArtAddictedArchitect
Media: TV Series/Book/Video Game
Topic:  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim/Game of Thrones
Genre: none given
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another single chapter and possible oneshot from the Skyrim/GoT crossover section! The fic is only a few months old and hasn’t had any updates, but is described as a “power wank fic” in the author’s bio, so they may add to it when they feel like stroking their SI some more.

It … It gets bad. Really bad. You should go get a headdesking pillow now to avoid the line.

:brief pillow pause:

Everyone prepped and ready? Great! Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?

SI insert into game of thrones as the Dragonborn

Well, that’s certainly … succinct.

I woke up to a slow gradual bumping with a headache.

Urgh. I don’t remember drinking last night.

I’m not really a big drinker, but I don’t think hangovers are usually accompanied by bumping sensations.

The last thing I remember was booting up the PC, getting ready to play a heavily modded version of Skyrim.

That probably describes every PC version of Skyrim – Why run vanilla when the Nexus is a thing that exists? – but what kind of mods? There’s a lot of weird stuff under that umbrella. Are we talking “Every dragon is now Thomas the Dank Engine” and there’s tits on the side of the Blue Palace or do you have so many ENBs and graphical enhancements running you have to keep a fire extinguisher trained on your GPU at all times?

Did I fall asleep gaming? I am sitting up so there’s that.

Why would that be an option? Wouldn’t gaming tend to keep you awake, since you’re presumably focused on a particular task?

But things didn’t add up. Why would I be in a rocking upright position if I fell asleep in my apartment?

Do you own a rocking chair?

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2350: What is the music of life? – Oneshot

 

Author: Cyricist001
Media: TV Series/Book/Video Game
Topic:  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim/Game of Thrones
Genre: none given
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another oneshot! This one is a ‘true’ oneshot in that there’s just one chapter and it is listed as completed. Also, it’s another Skyrim crossover!

It’s also a Skyrim/Game of Thrones crossover, which actually sounds like a fairly plausible concept to me.  We haven’t had a Game of Thrones (or A Song of Ice and Fire, which is the book series the show is based on) before, but I’m fairly confident that most people with Internet access are aware that Game of Thrones is a thing which exists. I’m not going to give a massive SC-style info-dump for this fic because an info-dump for GoT/ASoIaF would stretch for many, many pages, but I’ll try to cover any relevant information as it is needed. It should go without saying that there are major spoilers ahead.

Let’s take a look at the summary, shall we?

What happens when mages blunder.

If the mage in question is a overly confident Khajiit named J’Zargo, then what happens is that you repeatedly set yourself on fire while trying out his “improved” Flame Cloak scrolls.

Vigdis watched as the Unsullied patrol passed her hiding spot and marched down the narrow street. The ‘Mother of Dragons’ certanly tightened the security in Meereen after the Sons of the Harpy started their murder spree.

Okay, time for some info-dumping.

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2344: The Big Four’s Adventures on Tamriel – Chapters 1- 4

 

Author: speedster101
Media: Movie/Video Game
Topic:  The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim/Tangled
Genre: Adventure/Fantasy
URL: Chapter 1
URL: Chapter 2
URL: Chapter 3
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another possible oneshot!

You might be asking yourself, hypothetical Patron, “Can a fic with four chapters be considered a oneshot?” It can when the first chapters are only a few hundred words long, and the other two are Author’s Notes begging readers to submit ideas. Also, the fic hasn’t had any updates since 2016 and has likely been abandoned because no one wanted to do the author’s job for them and/or try to make sense out of this dumpster fire.

Buckle up, buttercup – this is going to be a rough ride.

And not only is this one of those fics, but it’s a Skyrim crossover! Crossed over with what? Technically it’s listed as a crossover with Tangled, but in truth it is one of those crossovers with the massive multi-fandom conglomeration that is Rise of the Big Hero Brave Frozen Tangled Dragons, or whatever it is called these days. If you’ve never heard of this phenomenon, basically authors will pull characters from nearly every CGI animated movie and shove them into a fic, often set in a different universe so the don’t have to bother reconciling the many different canons. High school AU fics are very popular.

Now, on to the fic summary!

Pitch Black and the negatives are back and they got some new allies strong to and only one can stop the three newcomers from taking over Tamirel but he’ll need help with the ones know as Pitch Black and the Negatives with help from ones known as the big four join Marcus the Dragonborn and The four as they travel across Tamirel to stop Pitch and the negatives.

:gasps for breath:

That is all one sentence, my Patrons. Get used to that; this author treats punctuation as if it was crafted of priceless jewels.

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2241: Mandalorian Effect – Chapter 8

Title: Mandalorian Effect
Author: Nicranger
Media: Film/Video Game
Topic: Star Wars/Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 8 – https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11814489/8/Mandalorian-Effect
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with more of Mandalorian Effect, the fic that kinda sucks. A lot.

Last riff, Dickhead was a dickhead. I instituted a counter to tally up particularly infuriating instances of his dickheadedness, but now I’m scrapping it because I was buzzing it every other ficbit.

Let’s get started, shall we?

New Mandalore, Mining Region

Because the entire planet has one singular mining region

“Tali for the love of Mandalore just tell me what it is you want me to see!” Demanded Alren for the hundredth time as the Qurian women just continued to smile and lead him along one of the many tunnels that made up New Mandalore’s mining district.

“For the love of Mandalore?” Uh, shit-for-brains, you’re Mandalore. That’s what you get to be when you’re in charge of the Mandalorians.

The young leader was not in a very good mood as he had been woken up fairly early and dragged here by Tali because apparently the miners had found something that was very important. Or so Tali had said.

Oh, hell. What new little hunk of bullshit is the fic dumping on him this time?

“No Alren it’s a surprise.” Responded Tali as she continued to drag Alren down another tunnel.

No Alren, and no punctuation either.

Thats a fair tradeoff Ill take it

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2235: Mandalorian Effect – Chapters 6 and 7

Title: Mandalorian Effect
Author: Nicranger
Media: Film/Video Game
Topic: Star Wars/Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 6
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with more of Mandalorian Effect, the fic that dares to tread no new ground whatsoever and blindly regurgitate pretty much every other Mass Effect crossover ever.

Let’s get a start on Chapter 6, shall we?

Hey guys I’m back with the next chapter and I just want to say that the size of the Citadel was a typo and not because I actually thought the damn thing was only 5 kilometers long.

Go fix it, then.

it was supposed to say 45 and a slight error occurred so don’t go biting my head off for it okay?

You only mentioned it so that your Stu could be smug about it (And alright, fine: both Death Stars would have dwarfed the Citadel – 120 and 160 kilometers for each of them to the Citadel’s 45, but these asinine size comparisons really just make the phallic symbol jokes too obvious). You’ll get no sympathy from me.

Now lets just get on to the next chapter of the story!

No, let’s wallow in your insipid author’s notes for the entire chapter.

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2229: Mandalorian Effect – Chapters 4 and 5

Title: Mandalorian Effect
Author: Nicranger
Media: Film/Video Game
Topic: Star Wars/Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and this fic still exists!

I just made myself sad.

As Alren reached the hangar bay he stepped out to see the forces he had requested along with a certain Quarian amongst them.

The undertrained fifteen-year-old engineer is put on the strike team because the power of boners is stronger, and I hate that this story is making me type that just for the sake of a CinemaSins reference.

He didn’t question it as she was a Mandalorian now so she did qualify to be a part of the team he would be leading to kill that bastard Turian who dared to attack them without reason other than a wounded ego.

You mean the turian of likely legitimate parentage who chose to defend his galaxy from a sudden incursion by a smug prick. You’re the one who’s throwing a hissy fit over your bruised ego. It is truly fascinating the regularity with which idiots can point fingers that should be pointed back at themselves.

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