2190: Sly cooper and the gang in: Red Tide — Chapters 2 and 3

Title: Sly Cooper and the gang in: Red Tide
Author: Stalin69
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Sly Cooper Trilogy / Zootopia
Genre: Adventure/Crime
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by: AdmiralSakai, JLT. Troy Fisher, and Chief Director (Ret.) Dominic Torus

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Sly Cooper and the gang in: Red Tide.

Previously, we spent a great deal of time watching Sly and Carmelita talk about nothing much following Cooper’s recovery from a brief coma and admission that he had lost most of his memories of being a part of the Cooper Gang.  After that there was a flashback for no apparent reason involving Carmelita’s boss- someone or something known only as “Chief Wiggins”- running from thugs hired by what I can only assume is a Zootopia character named ‘Mr. Big’ alongside Sly’s dad, who in this story is named ‘Zach’ and is a broey womanizing douchebag. Also in the present Sly got approved as an Interpol agent and beat up a bunch of test dummies and then Bentley put his logo on the lens of a security camera to presumably indicate that he was trying to contact Sly although it’s really not clear. Oh yeah and did I mention that the entire thing is in script format?

“I’m beginning to question the decisions that led me to this point.”

“Aww, quit your bellyachin’. We haven’t even gotten into combat yet.”

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2183: Sly cooper and the gang in: Red Tide — Chapter 1

Title: Sly Cooper and the gang in: Red Tide
Author: Stalin69
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Sly Cooper Trilogy / Zootopia
Genre: Adventure/Crime
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by: AdmiralSakai, JLT. Troy Fisher, and Chief Director (Ret.) Dominic Torus

Hello hello all you patrons! Before we begin our next adventure I’d like to introduce our latest addition to the RIFFCON staff: Former INTERPOL Chief Director Dominic Torus!

*At the control station to Sakai’s immediate right sits a craggy-featured cape buffalo. Although clearly pushing upward in years he nonetheless cuts an imposing figure, the numerous medals adorning his crisp blue uniform jacket understated but no less impressive for it and his blue eyes still shining with flinty determination.*

“My fellow Librarians. There’s much to be done and so I won’t waste your time with platitudes or empty philosophy. The disaster in Switzerland may have cost me my position and the respect of far too many good officers, but I will not give up my obligation to the people Interpol serves. You’ve all committed everything to pursuing crimes against the English language, and I will promise you the same in return. Those under my command who’ve sacrificed so much to secure a safer future for the world deserve nothing less.

Thank you.”

*In the leftmost control station, a young human male in UNSC-issue body armor sits slack-jawed for a few seconds before giving a low whistle.*

Damn. I just wish we’d had this guy with us on Lacerta instead of that creepy Spartan fucker.”

“You’re far too kind, Lieutenant. I’d like to think I just did what any reasonable person in my position would have done.”

Yeah I figured the two of you would probably get along pretty well.

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2177: Slasher Oneshot Marathon!

Title: The texas chainsaw massacre: once again; The Real Texas Chainsaw Massacre; Halloween: Death Comes Calling; Fiery Passion; New masked killer; Murder from Scream
Author: doctorwhofan123456789; G.I. Joe Adventure Team; KLeslie; bloodyrose2014; Droids Boys; MeLoNa05
Media: Film
Topic: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre; The Texas Chainsaw Massacre; Halloween; A Nightmare on Elm Street; Scream; Scream
Genre: Horror / Drama; Crime / Horror; Horror / Romance; Romance / Horror; Horror / Drama; Horror / Poetry
URL: The texas chainsaw massacre: once againThe Real Texas Chainsaw MassacreHalloween: Death Comes CallingFiery PassionNew masked killerMurder from Scream
Critiqued by BatJamags (and Spider-Man)

A little game for the reader: By the end of the riff, guess which YouTube channel I’ve been watching a lot of recently.

Also, when I say “marathon,” I mean it. This is long, but I was having way too much fun to cut it down. Just thought I’d let you know ahead of time. Seriously, though, it’s about three times as long as my normal riffs.

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back.

There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to Man. It is a dimension as vast as the author’s note to My Inner Life, and as timesquiggly as My Immortal. It is the middle ground between light and Edgelord, between thermal radiation and BLUE; and it lies between the pit of a riffer’s fears and the summit of his anger. This is the dimension of bad horror oneshots. It is an area which we call… the Badfic Zone.

Respectfully submitted for your derision: A cavalcade of spooky, scary, and quite possibly skeletal oneshots from a wide selection of horror films!

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2151: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 20

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 20
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags) and Kane

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with yet another chapter of The Shadow Warriors to round out this chunk before BadJamags takes over the reins again for another fic. But first, here’s your chapterly news briefing:

Opener

As usual, credit to Anne for this.

Chapter 20: New face In Gotham

IT’S ANOTHER OC! RUN FOR THE HILLS!

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2145: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 19 Part 2

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 19
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with the second half of this chapter of The Shadow Warriors! That means no chapterly news briefing, since you got that last time. Last time, Batman, Red Hood, and Edgelord had a poorly written fight scene. This fight scene is not over yet, so let’s dive back in!

He then fired two bolts at Jason who let out a scream of pain as Jayden suddenly stopped. Jason was lying helplessly on the ground as Jayden walked over to his sword and picked it up.

*A Darkwraith rushes in with a bowl of popcorn*

It took you long enough. I ordered this last riff!

*Takes the popcorn and throws some at the screen*

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2139: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 19, Part 1

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 19
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with another chapter of The Shadow Warriors, the fail pile that doesn’t stop from getting taller!

Hey, BJ should’ve used that one on the Phantom of the School.

Let’s get a move on, shall we? I’ve got a lot of energy and I’m in a good mood, so I better get my soul crushed before the situation gets out of hand. But first, here’s your chapterly news briefing:

Opener

As usual, credit to Anne for this.

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2136: Fight Story – Chapter 1 (Older Version)

Title: Untitled (eventually called “Fight Story” in a subsequent revision)
Author: Trivol McKenley/StrykerFox
Media: Shared RP Universe
Topic: Furry Basketball Association
Genre: Drama/Crime
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello folks, and welcome back to the Library.

Today’s offering is… weird. Of course, you all notice that Trivol/Stryker is the guy that we talked about last week in the Flattening of Victor Vos. So that’s important to note for that.

What you may be slightly more confused about is the fact that I’m still considering today’s offering fanfiction. You look at the story itself, you’ll notice it’s technically worded like an original story. The problem is, it both is and isn’t: it’s an original story in that it’s all its own original MMA deal.

However, there are two very important somethings that keep it from being so. Or rather, two very important someones, both who started life as FBA characters, and who Trivol wound up renaming so he could have his cake and eat it too.

How do they figure into this? Well, let’s dive into his adventures in “original” fiction and find out!

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