2616: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 37

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comic book
Topic: “Justice League” (Batman)
Genre: Crime / Mystery
URL: Chapter 37
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, GoodJamags, and I’m back with more of your occasional dose of edge! And the first riff in weeks I’ve actually had time to edit!

Chapter 37: Love Is The Greatest Mystery

Oh, so it’s another filler chapter.

Authors Note: Okay, since I got this chapter out I only have three words.

Actually, I’d estimate you’ve got about 157,000 words, given that we’re about a chapter and a half shy of this monstrosity’s halfway point. Not counting sequels and previous installments.

I know, Patrons, the truth hurts. I’m sorry.

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2611: The Edgiest Christmas of All (The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 36)

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comic book
Topic: “Justice League” (Batman)
Genre: Crime / Mystery
URL: Chapter 36
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags and BadJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, GoodJamags…

BadJamags: And I’m your usual host…

… And we’re back with more edge. Last time, that guy no one remembers from the Mr. Freeze episode of Batman: The Animated Series launched a dumb revenge plan that was foiled by the Dork Patrol.

BadJamags: Thus ensuring that all involved parties managed to not quite accomplish anything of importance.

We resume the action with some holiday festivities!

BadJamags: You know what I want for Christmas?

What’s that?

BadJamags: This fic to end.

No.

BadJamags: You’re the worst Santa ever.

And with that, let’s cut over to your chapterly news briefing.

Opener

As usual, credit to Anne for this.

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2588: Another Very Edgy Christmas (The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 35)

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 35
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags), Kane, and Constantine Novalis

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I am currently extremely worried for my safety.

Kane: Don’t be concerned. My associate is muzzled.

See, I get the Hannibal Lecter vibe from youHe is more of a Killgrave or a Joker. Maybe Alex DeLarge.

?: *Chuckles darkly* You flatter me.

*The man tied into the third chair has pitch-black skin, white hair, and pointed ears. There is a sinister glint in his red eyes and he wears tattered grey robes. A staff, which appears to be hewn from some kind of stone, is rested against a nearby wall.*

And see, I’m not even certain you realize I didn’t mean it that way. Patrons, this is C’ns’n’nt N’v’w’ls, or Constantine Novalis, as people who need vowels to pronounce things call him.

Kane: He’s another member of my adventuring party, and quite possibly my least favorite of the lot. As a rabid attack dog, he serves his purpose well enough, but he is far too impulsively self-serving to accomplish much else with any efficacy.

Constantine: I love you too, Kanie.

*Kane springs to his feet, beginning to cast a spell, causing Constantine to start giggling madly*

Hey! You kill him, he gets out of the restraints.

Constantine: Figured it out, did you? Well, we’ll see what happens anyway.

Constantine is a Drow, a member of a generally evil-aligned race of subterranean elves. They’re known for slavery, worshiping evil spider demons, and general backstabbing and murder. Constantine was cast out as a young child for being evil even by Drow standards, like the unholy lovechild of Michael Myers and Vriska Serket. As Kane’s indicated, he’s a real piece of work, but not very high-functioning, especially since he was mostly raised by giant spiders.

Constantine: The Black Widows were my favorites. They always had the best sense of humor.

Basically, he came from my attempt to create an evil druid without going the obvious eco-terrorist route. Plus, I didn’t have any Neutral Evil character concepts, so I decided to go all the way with it. Basically, he’s the Token Evil Teammate on a team that’s already majority evil-aligned.

Constantine: And I must say, I love your handiwork.

Are you caught up on the fic?

Constantine: Oh, I’ve been reading it very enthusiastically. I tell you, Shadow is my kind of hero. I’m just disappointed that Breeze’s father and that Damian Cole fellow didn’t stick around longer. I liked their style.

Kane: *Scoffs* Typical. Shall we begin, then?

Yes, we sha- I mean will. Your pretentiousness is infectious. Oh, but I almost forgot the chapterly news briefing!

Opener

As usual, credit to Anne for this.

Kane: And heaven forbid we skip that step.

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2585: A Very Edgy Christmas (The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 34)

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 34
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with another chapter of The Shadow Warriors, where presumably we’ll be starting another story arc. And naturally, we can’t do that without having a look at our chapterly news briefing:

Opener

As usual, credit to Anne for this.

Chapter 34: Start To A Merry Christmas

Hey! It’s not Christmas right now! Don’t lie to me, author.

Authors Note: Thank you all for your support I enjoyed this story arc very much.

At least someone did.

This chapter will conclude the end of the Hush Arc

*Alarms blare*

Luckily, Crunchy’s rolled out the Sithmas decorations early/late just for this chapter. And by “Sithmas decorations,” I mean autoturrets and death traps.

*Muffled screaming*

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2581: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 33

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 33
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags, and I’m back with another chapter of The Shadow Warriors! Last time, Batman and Oracle foiled a dastardly plot by the Legion of Dumb to take over Gotham by imposing martial law with cheap knockoff Iron Man suits. Edgelord and his team were there too, but they really didn’t do all that much. And now, your chapterly news briefing:

Opener

As usual, credit to Anne for this.

With that said, let’s dive right in!

Chapter 33: Retribution Part 2

Aha! It’s the retribution of the wronged of the right again!

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2578: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 32

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 32
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your host, BatJamags*, and we’re back with the next chapter of The Shadow Warriors. Last time, Hush and the Legion of Dumb staged a hostile takeover of Wayne Enterprises to try to make an army of Bruticuses (Brutici?).

Also, Edgelord and an army of Sues and Stus tried to take over the Riffcave, but were subsequently stopped by Batman. This mostly happened because I got bored, but now that we’ve captured Edgelord, I can drag him in here as necessary to explain his stupidity.

*A quick reference on how big the Backlog of Doom was: This is the riff I was writing when I became a permanent riffer back in April of 2018. I put the asterisk here because this was the first post I converted from saying “guest host” to just “host.”

Anyway, let’s hit the chapterly news briefing before we go any further.

Opener

As usual, credit to Anne for this.

Chapter 32: Retribution: Part 1

Ooh, is this retribution of the right of the wronged because the right are wrong and wronged the right of the wrong, who are not justice of the right?

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2575: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 31, Part 2

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 31
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags and BadJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags…

BadJamags: … And I’m your usual guest host, the real BatJamags…

… And we’re back with the next section of The Shadow Warriors!

BadJamags: Last time, we watched a poorly-composed scene where the Legion of Dumb attacked Batman and proved completely inept, enabling Bats to get away and prepare his counterattack.

Also, Edgelord and all of our past Sues and Stus broke into the Riffcave and are holding the two of us hostage so that we don’t interfere with his plans. Edgelord ended up shooting Raya Sue and Smugularity, but Smugularity got better. Cerbersheep trampled Dr. Moneybags to death and Sueby Psychose was badly burned in a misguided attempt to add Cerbs to her Grimm menagerie.

Edgelord: I really should’ve just used my normal crew for this. They can at least pretend to be competent.

Smugularity: I’ll have you know that my Mandalorians are the most competent warriors in the galax-

Edgelord: Stop talking. You two, move on with the story.

But what about the chapterly news briefing?

Edgelord: Don’t push your luck.

BadJamags: Also, it’s not a new chapter. Sadness.

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