2551: Five Nights with Jack – Chapter 6

Title: Five Nights with Jack
Author: mah29732
Media: Video Game/TV Show
Topic: Five Nights at Freddy’s/Samurai Jack
Genre: Mystery/Suspense
URL: Chapter 6
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Hello and Happy Valentine’s Day, dear Patrons! If you find yourself still looking for love in all the wrong places, we have an entire clan of ninjas that can locate damn near anything except missing socks available and they have very reasonable rates.

Welcome to the penultimate chapter! I know, if feels like it’s been going on forever. I gave up keeping count of which night we’re on a long time ago. Third? Fourth? Ninety-fifth? Somewhere in there.

The previous chapter ended on what I guess could technically be called a cliffhanger, as Springtrap had stolen Jack’s sword. Jack will no doubt rush out and reclaim his blade very quickly, so I’m not overly worried about any dramatic tension building. It might cut into the time Jack can spend glaring at things.

Now, on to the fic!

Chapter 6: Finding the Sword

:points into the Void:

It’s over there! Probably.

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2546: Five Nights with Jack – Chapter 5

Title: Five Nights with Jack
Author: mah29732
Media: Video Game/TV Show
Topic: Five Nights at Freddy’s/Samurai Jack
Genre: Mystery/Suspense
URL: Chapter 5
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to more crossover blandness.

In our last chapter, there was a big showdown between Aku and Jack! And by “showdown” I mean that Aku stole the magic sword but Jack almost immediately got it back because reasons.

Also, questionable pizza was involved.

On to the next chapter!

Chapter 5: Aku Finds Springtrap

:headdesk:

I theorized in the last chapter that Aku was likely going to cycle through the animatronics and possess them in turn so that Jack could “battle” (I use the term extremely loosely) each one singly, and this is only reinforcing that opinion.

Aku needed to find a new source to help him in his quest against the pesky samurai,

Because for some reason, just attacking him directly, or carpet-bombing the restaurant, or anything that might accomplish the goal of killing Jack is out of the question.

as the night went on, Jack continued to monitor the animaltronics through the cameras.

:yawns:

This is like watching a Minecraft tutorial, only less interesting because nothing gets accomplished and there’s significantly less chance someone will get attacked by the pixelated undead.

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2540: Five Nights with Jack – Chapter 4

Title: Five Nights with Jack
Author: mah29732
Media: Video Game/TV Show
Topic: Five Nights at Freddy’s/Samurai Jack
Genre: Mystery/Suspense
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to more … whatever this trainwreck is.

In the last chapter there was a confrontation between Jack and Aku, until Aku got bored and wandered off. Then some other stuff happened, but no one really cares about that because it probably isn’t important.

Also, the Big Book of Ponderations for Sleepless Nights is still here, hovering in the corner, and a cluster of raccoons has built a shrine that mostly looks to be made of tin foil and apple cores around it. Not sure where the raccoons came from, but I’ve learned not to question things too closely.

Chapter 4: Sensing Aku

Is it really that hard to find a near-omnipotent shape-shifting demon who rules the entire universe?

Jack was awaiting the next night when he was doing his best during the day to try to hunt for Aku.

From inside the pizza restaurant, where he’s locked up until the five nights have passed. All Aku would have to do to get away is just … Leave.

It’s almost as if this fic is designed to suck all the dramatic tension out of itself.

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2533: Five Nights with Jack – Chapter 3

 

Title: Five Nights with Jack
Author: mah29732
Media: Video Game/TV Show
Topic: Five Nights at Freddy’s/Samurai Jack
Genre: Mystery/Suspense
URL: Chapter 3
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome back to yet another chapter where I’m sure very little is going to happen. Maybe just some glaring, or Jack will draw his sword a few more times.

I really hope Aku doesn’t try to make things ‘interesting’ again, because the Big Book of Ponderations for Sleepless Nights is back because I literally cannot get rid of it. Leaving it on a bus didn’t work, dropping it off a pier didn’t work, I tossed it into Crunchy’s volcano and when I got back to the bunker it was waiting for me with a cup of hot cocoa that tastes faintly of brimstone.

:sips:

I mean, it is very likely cursed and is not the birthday gift I wanted but there are marshmallows and hey – free cocoa.

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2527: Five Nights with Jack – Chapter 2

Title: Five Nights with Jack
Author: mah29732
Media: Video Game/TV Show
Topic: Five Nights at Freddy’s/Samurai Jack
Genre: Mystery/Suspense
URL: Chapter 2
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to another chapter of crossover hi-jinks. In the first chapter, Jack was contracted by a Mysterious Billionaire to stay for five nights in an abandoned and/or haunted restaurant, where he basically just glared at the animatronics for a bit before the clock ran out.

:flips through notes, which are mostly doodles of monkeys wearing bowties:

That was basically it.

Chapter 2: Onto Second Night

Let’s get this trainwreck moving down the tracks.

Jack continued to maintain the cameras as he gazed upon the animaltronics that were moving about throughout the restaurant in question.

The animatronics do tend to get more active as the game progresses, because difficulty curve, but it’s just the second night and they are already running rampant.

The samurai grew tired of watching the cameras and winding up the music box.

Which he can do from the safety of the office, because game-play mechanics.

As soon as it became 6 A.M.

Complete sentence not.

For the first night everything was over.

Hold up – the first night? We’re still on the first night?

Damn, but this thing does drag like a dog with a turd stuck to its tail.

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2522: Five Nights with Jack – Chapter 1

Title: Five Nights with Jack
Author: mah29732
Media: Video Game/TV Show
Topic: Five Nights at Freddy’s/Samurai Jack
Genre: Mystery/Suspense
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

 

 

Hello, dear Patrons, and welcome to the beginning of an odd little crossover fic from my pile of “Bwa?” fics.

How odd? It’s a Samurai Jack and Five Nights at Freddy’s crossover, which isn’t the weirdest thing I’ve ever found – but I have a high weirdness threshold after years of doing this. It was a choice between this and a Good Dinosaur/We’re Back/Jurassic Park/Lion King/I-forget-what-else trainwreck that is sadly mostly plot regurgitation But Now With Dinosaurs!™ and the riff would mostly be me making angry rants about having Cretaceous species, Jurassic species, and Holocene species living together and I don’t have time for that while preparing for tax season.

Something for you to look forward to! Now, on to the summary for this fic.

Jack has taken up an offer from a mysterious billionaire for a time machine to get back to the past, the catch is that he has to stay in an abandon pizza restaurant as a security guard with animaltronics and Aku to disrupt things oh my…

Y’know, as one does.

Any time I see a premise where some rich bastard offers an obscene amount of wealth to someone for what appears to be a trivial task, my mind immediately assumes it’s either going to be a murder-fest or some sort of kinky prostitution thing. Either way, someone’s getting fucked up in this scenario.

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2496: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter 30

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 30
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags), Kane, and Malcolm

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags, and this is another chapter of The Shadow Warriors! Last time, we had a villain team-up of that Gallagher guy who showed up at the end of Sam Motherfuckin’ Jackson’s story arc, that Leonae nutjob who got his arms brutally exploded, yet another “Iron Man but with GUNS and SWORDS and SKULLS” character, someone who I think was supposed to be Jean White, a new guy in a white cloak who’s apparently Sovereign’s evil twin or something (Maybe I’ll call him Harbinger), and Hush.

Let’s get started, shall we?

Kane: I’d rather not, but it seems we’ve little choice in the matter.

GAH! Every time. Oh, and who’s Tall, Dark, and Bald there behind you?

*Behind Kane stands a large, muscular (and bald) man in black sleeveless robes and a mask that covers the lower half of his face. He looks rather bewildered.*

?: Wha- Kane. Why have you brought me here?! Is this another one of your tricks?

Kane: Calm yourself, Malcolm. You’ll give yourself another ulcer. Then we’ll have to get Constantine to heal you, and no one wants that.

*Malcolm attempts to punch Kane, who actually recoils slightly before sidestepping out of the way*

Kane: *Looking at GoodJamags* I’ve been mentioning my old adventuring party, so I thought I’d bring one along. Malcolm here is a monk with… anger management issues.

[Meta note: Kane and Malcolm (and the other five, Constantine, Lady Adelaide, Revenore, Erik, and Ylva) are designed as characters for a fic based on Dungeons & Dragons that may or may not materialize at some point in the future, but I might also play as them at some point in the actual game. However, they’re both characters I created.]

Malcolm: Do not mock me, sorcerer!

Kane: We’ve been over this. I am a Warlock, and you will remember this. As I was saying, Malcolm was exiled from his monastery for his inability to control his emotions. I, along with some other associates of mine, helped him train to go back and kill every monk in that monastery. It was one of our finest moments. I thought that as one of the edgiest members of our group, he’d have a unique perspective on this tale.

Is he up to speed?

Kane: Naturally. I always plan ahead.

Bet he hasn’t seen this chapter’s chapterly news briefing!

Opener

As usual, credit to Anne for this.

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