473: B Alien – Chapter 1

Title: B Alien
Author: LizardLover25
Media: Movie/TV Show
Topic:  Alien Nation (movie)
Genre: Sci-Fi/Adventure
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat

Aloha, illustrious Patrons!

After that ass-fest of a fic I just suffered through, I’ve decided to cleanse my palette with a few one-shots from my To-Riff Box. Today’s particular offering comes to you via the Alien Nation section of ff.net. 

Some of our Patrons below a certain vintage may be unfamiliar with the movie, a standard buddy-cop police procedural with the standard pairing of a white man with a minority – in this instance, an alien. That’s where things got interesting. The creators took a somewhat unorthodox approach to the alien race, officially called the Tectonese but also known as Newcomers or slags, in that they aren’t technologically superior invaders or visitors but instead arrived on Earth as the cargo of a slave transport that crashed into the desert outside Los Angeles. The refugees attempt to intergrate with human society with various levels of success, ranging from high-powered businessmen to lowly streetwalkers. The source material (the film as well as the short-lived TV series, five made-for-TV movies, and several novelizations that followed) explored themes of racism, illegal immigration, and discrimination and has attracted a small cult following over the years.

There aren’t really a whole lot of fics for the source material, but I guess a moderately popular show from twenty years ago with a cast of relative unknowns kind of slips under the radar of the 12-18 year-olds who pen the majority of fanfics. There are two listings for the source material, one for the movie and one for the TV show, and this one was located in the movie section. It’s an odd choice since the bulk of the world-building took place in the TV series and the movie focused more on crime-solving and building a friendship between the two protagonists. This should be interesting.

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472: The Prayer Warriors: The Evil Gods Part One – Chapters 7 and 8

Title: The Prayer Warriors: The Evil Gods Part One
Author: BelieverInChrist, A.K.A. Thomas Brown (Reposted on qazonwordpress)
Media: Book/Movie
Topic: Percy Jackson and the Olympians
Genre: Spiritual/Mystery
URL: The Prayer Warriors: The Evil Gods Part One Repost
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome yet again to an installment of The Prayer Warriors.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, we continue with this piece of ass. Wondering what other wonderful lessons on the Bible we’ll be getting today? Yeah, me neither. But we’re getting it anyway, so let’s get going, shall we?

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471: resident evil:reborn – Chapter Five

Title: resident evil:reborn
Author: Insane Doctor The Insane Shadow Hunter and JudgementDragon25
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic:  As many video games as you can shake a stick at, and The Land Before Time
Genre: None listed, and really, it’s hard to categorize such fail
URL: Removed from FF.Net.
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Welcome back to another stirring chapter of resident evil: reborn.  Let’s take a look at what’s in store for us today!

Chapter 5 gaining an ally

Oh good, because the cast of 24(25) wasn’t unwieldy enough, let’s add another!  Yay!

So, to start things, we get an author’s note that’s not really note-worthy (hah) and then jump right in where we left off:

the plane flew high into the sky making sure to put some distance between it and the ground below niko was keeping his wits about him so that he could keep the plane steady but back down in the cargo bay the survivors were just staring at guido’s petrie’s and ducky’s new armors all three of them were almost the size of humans except just two feet taller which caused insane to ask.

The Word Hole starts to swirl angrily

Damn, and it was so quiet last week, too.

Quick question, authors, WHERE THE HELL DID THEY GET THOS-

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470: From Another World – Chapter 11

Title: From Another World
Author: EclipsePheniox
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Mass Effect / Parallel Realities
Genre: Supernatural/Romance/AU
URL: From Another World Chapter 11
Critiqued by Erttheking

Well, welcome back to the POS that is From Another World.  Also Goeth is on vacation this week so we’re gonna have to do without him. Judging by the name of the chapter, “Queen of the Hive,” I assume that this time that we’re going to be going to Noveria.  Calling it now, Shepard’s going to kick the crap out of Matriarch Benezia, someone who has a reputation for being a really hard boss in the first Mass Effect, without any effort at all.

Shepard walked back into his cabin after checking up on Liara. She seemed to be exhausted from the mind meld. She asked what the door was for but he refused to answer so she just accepted that he had a horrible past and did not want anyone to know about it.

Nice Shepard, just walk away, don’t even say anything like “It’s personal, I don’t want to talk about it.”

He walked into his cabin and collapsed onto his bed. He was exhausted even with his super human metabolism there where still limits to his power.

Yeah, you get some sleep.  That mission that you didn’t show took a lot out of you.

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469: Twitanic – Chapter 12

Title: Twitanic
Author: mentos93
Media: Movie/Book
Topic:  Twilight/Titanic
Genre: Romance/Drama
URL: Chapter 12
Critiqued by Ghostcat

Fabulous greetings, dearest Patrons! We’ve finally reached the last chapter of Twitanic.

:does Happy Dance:

Not a whole lot happened in the last chapter; Rose remains Cal’s captive and the Cullens spent three days doing :mumblety-mumble: instead of looking for her. The only part of the Cullens’ cunning plan that was revealed is that Edward is supposed to take his new ladylove Anna-Bella somewhere safe while the others deal with the werewolves, which sounds exactly like the end of Eclipse. There are quite a few threads that need to be tied up – Rose needs to be rescued, Jack and Rose need to reconcile, Edward and Anna-Bella’s romance needs to step things up, and the whole werewolf situation is still there. That’s quite a lot of ground for one chapter to cover.

Prepare yourselves for disappointment, Patrons!

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468: The Prayer Warriors: The Evil Gods Part One – Chapters 5 and 6

Title: The Prayer Warriors: The Evil Gods Part One
Author: BelieverInChrist, A.K.A. Thomas Brown (Reposted on qazonwordpress)
Media: Book/Movie
Topic: Percy Jackson and the Olympians
Genre: Spiritual/Mystery
URL: The Prayer Warriors: The Evil Gods Part One Repost
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello again, patrons.

Well, who wants some more horrible author tract? Nobody? Well, that’s too bad, ‘cause this week in The Prayer Warriors we’re going to be getting more fucking author tract!

So let’s get right to it, shall we?

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467: resident evil:reborn – Chapter Four Part Two

Title: resident evil:reborn
Author: Insane Doctor The Insane Shadow Hunter and JudgementDragon25
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic:  As many video games as you can shake a stick at, and The Land Before Time
Genre: None listed, and really, it’s hard to categorize such fail
URL: Removed from FF.Net.
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Welcome back to the second half of chapter 4.  You’ll love it as much as you loved the first half.

When we last left Team Stu they had just made an intensely slow get-away at airport.  For those of you unaware, the team is currently in city, which is where airport is located.  If you drive down road, you can’t miss it.

Anyway, they take off in a shiny new flying fortress and head for… wherever.

Ten minutes had passed since take off the survivors were all just sitting in the cargo bay nobody was talking all of them were just staring of in space thinking on what had just happened to them trying to figure out how samantha was brought back to life but up in the cockpit of the plane niko suddenly saw a bright red light explode causing him to immediately say over the intercom.

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