1877: Toxic Promises – Oneshot

Title: Toxic Promises
Author: Girl With The Dandelion
Media: Movies
Topic: Land Before Time / Jurassic Park
Genre: Romance / Angst
URL: Toxic Promises
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey,patrons,welcomebacktoWednesday!Ididn’tsleepwelllastnightandhavehadfivecupsofcoffeeinthelasthoursoletsgetriffing!

BAAAAAAAA!

*GONG*

Thanks, bud, I think I’m good now.

So, it wouldn’t be a one-shot marathon without something with dinosaurs in it!

BAAAAAA!

Adopted doesn’t count because it wasn’t a one-shot.

Anyway, for our obligatory Dinosaur fic, I’ve got a cross that could possibly work!  It doesn’t, but it could!  The cross is Land Before Time and Jurassic Park.  And I’m saying it could work because they both involve dinosaurs.  You know, sorta like how The Shawshank Redemption and Ace Ventura both have humans in it!

Since neither of these are new canons, we can just get right to it with the summary!

What normally would have taken months, even years to adjust to, took only a few minutes for Cera to fathom.

Hey look, overwrought prose in an angst fic, who could have predicted that!?

BAAA.

Look, personally I consider the word misuse a bonus, but you can call it what you like.

Given that summary and the edgelord name “Toxic Promises” you all should have some idea of what we’re getting into.  So let’s go!

Read the rest of this entry »

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547: Call of evil part 2 death in heaven – Chapter Three

Title: Call of evil part 2 death in heaven
Author:
 Insane Doctor The Insane Shadow Hunter and JudgmentDragon25
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic:  As many video games as you can shake a stick at, and The Land Before Time
Genre: None listed, and really, it’s hard to categorize such fail
URL: Removed from FF.Net.
Critiqued by TacoMagic

And here we are, patrons, the motherland.  The very last chapter of ID/JD25’s Call of Duty: Suck series.  There will be a celebration in the lobby after the riff.  Free open gargleblaster bar, key-lime pie fountain, and head-desking pillows as door prizes.  It’s gonna be great!

Oh, and I guess Crunchy is gonna be handing out lightsabers or something.

Chapter 3 hell unleashed

Oh this better not be a chapter devoted to softcore porn. Read the rest of this entry »


543: Call of evil part 2 death in heaven – Chapters One and Two

Title: Call of evil part 2 death in heaven
Author:
 Insane Doctor The Insane Shadow Hunter and JudgmentDragon25
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic:  As many video games as you can shake a stick at, and The Land Before Time
Genre: None listed, and really, it’s hard to categorize such fail
URL: Removed from FF.Net.
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Welcome back, dear patrons, to the expansion pack of fic 3 in ID and JD25’s stirring Call of Duty series.

Luckily, this last bit of fic is extremely short, so we’ll be done with the whole series by next week; that’s why I’m just tacking it on as an extension of the third fic rather than resetting all the counters and such. Read the rest of this entry »


539: Call of evil life in hell – Chapter Eight

Title: Call of evil life in hell
Author:
 Insane Doctor The Insane Shadow Hunter and JudgmentDragon25
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic:  As many video games as you can shake a stick at, and The Land Before Time
Genre: None listed, and really, it’s hard to categorize such fail
URL: Removed from FF.Net.
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Well, dear patrons, thanks to a joint effort between the Library Ninjas, Time Cops, and the DRD’s SDQF Special Forces Unit, I have returned to finish this fic off.  Yup, that’s right, Chapter Eight is the last chapter!  And then there’s another fic yet to do.

*Chains Rattle*

The joint forces also chained me to this chair and have lined up a suitable punishment for me that will start after I finish ID’s CoD series.

*Chains Rattle*

This is going to make using the restroom kinda hard. Read the rest of this entry »


535: Call of evil life in hell – Chapters Six and Seven

Title: Call of evil life in hell
Author:
 Insane Doctor The Insane Shadow Hunter and JudgmentDragon25
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic:  As many video games as you can shake a stick at, and The Land Before Time
Genre: None listed, and really, it’s hard to categorize such fail
URL: Removed from FF.Net.
Critiqued by TacoMagic Darth Crunchy

For the time being, Taco is still at large somewhere in time.  I have been told by our ninjas that they have joined a collaborative effort with the Time Police and the DRD’s SDQF Special Forces Unit to catch him.  Apparently he went back in time and created the slogan: “Nobody Doesn’t Like Sara Lee” or some such nonsense.

So it falls to me, Darth Crunchy, to continue in his stead.  As I am still new around here, you’ll find I have extended an olive branch to all of you readers.  After we’re done in here, you can join me in the lobby for free donuts and light refreshments.  Those who pledge to join the Dark Side will also receive a complimentary pass that can be used for free drinks from the bar. Read the rest of this entry »


531: Call of evil life in hell – Chapter Five

Title: Call of evil life in hell
Author:
 Insane Doctor The Insane Shadow Hunter and JudgmentDragon25
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic:  As many video games as you can shake a stick at, and The Land Before Time
Genre: None listed, and really, it’s hard to categorize such fail
URL: Removed from FF.Net.
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Welcome back to another Wednesday with ID and JD25!  Lets see what we’ve got in store for us today.

Chapter 5 update

Oh yes, this is going to be a thrilling chapter.  Guess they’re revving up the padding machine again.  Oh look, there’s an authors’ note too!

show’s insane in the others inside a moving car

insane:hey guys look I’m driving while i’m on the cell phone

Or for the love of Armory Jesus.  I thought we were done with these insipid, narrative-style author’s notes after the first fic… and now they’re back.  Imagine my joy. Read the rest of this entry »


526: Call of evil life in hell – Chapter Four

Title: Call of evil life in hell
Author:
 Insane Doctor The Insane Shadow Hunter and JudgmentDragon25
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic:  As many video games as you can shake a stick at, and The Land Before Time
Genre: None listed, and really, it’s hard to categorize such fail
URL: Removed from FF.Net.
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Welcome back, patrons!

This week, as promised, I’m going to touch on why, exactly, the SMC going to the Ishimura is absolutely the stupidest thing that’s happened in this fic.  If you don’t want to read a huge analytical rant, just skip down to the first blockquote, which is the title of chapter 4. Read the rest of this entry »