1008: Persona 3: Trade Me – Chapter 21 & 22

Title: Persona 3: Trade Me
Author: Bayanette Winters
Media: Video Game
Topic: Persona
Genre: Romance/Adventure
URL: Chapter 21 & Chapter 22
Critiqued by Erttheking

WARNING! This rift contains late game spoilers for Persona 3 that we have not touched upon yet. Proceed with caution.

Nora: Man, we are getting nowhere.

Ert: It’s a clean up operation at this point. Really we’re just counting down until he’s not a threat anymore.

John Freeman who was Henry Freeman’s Mom’s husband: We kill him dead!

Ert: Yeah, kill him dead.

John Freeman: John Freeman played Person 3. It difficult but filling. Looking forward to critilcising.

Nora: then let’s get to it!

Chapter 18

(Song Counter: 20)

Goeth: Just standard routine by this point. Chapter starts, push the buzzer.

04/16/2014 9:45pm

Aila had been left alone in her suite that evening. Despite the brief, but precious moments she’d spent with Akihiko, reality had inconsiderately called for their attention.

Nora: Yeah, it’s been hammering on the front door for the past few months with a cease and desist.

The silverette had desired to get some training done before the Dark Hour (he’d claimed that, while he’d enjoyed spending the day with her, he was far behind on his regiment). She’d urged him to go on and promised to see him later. However, as she shut the door behind him, she felt the loneliness sink in-as well as the consequences of her decision.

Ert: You handled being by yourself for a couple of months when you were going through that “I hate everyone” phase”

She’d basically rejected Akihiko. Not completely, of course, but that nevertheless made Aila’s heartache. She’d had feelings for the boy for a long time now, but couldn’t bring herself to give into them just yet. She wanted to be absolutely certain that, when she fell in love with someone, it was due to her feelings…not due to some memory mix-up.

John Freeman: Y they think we not get it?

Nora: Because they’re stretching things out for the sake of drama.

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1007: Veggieteens Bob x Barbara Tale of Two Tomatoes – One Shot

Title: Veggieteens Bob x Barbara Tale of Two Tomatoes
Author: courtneyboudreault1 
Media: VeggieTales
Topic:  Television / Cartoons
Genre: Romance/Humor
URL: One Shot
Critiqued by Lyle

Warning: This fic depicts a very poorly written sexual encounter.  I’m sure we’ve all read worse, but this is NSFW.  I’d hate for your boss to lean over your shoulder right as you’re reading about a tomato having an orgasm.  That may be one of the strangest things I’ve ever written.

*Lyle walks into her office and slowly shuts the door.  She bolts it firmly and wedges a chair under the knob.*

Good morning, everyone.  Today’s riff carries a serious tone of “reader beware.”  As we are all probably aware, unless this is your first day joining us – and I dearly apologize if this is your first day with us because what a day to start reading – there is a rating on FF.net called “M.”  “M” stands for “mature audiences.”  Now, under FF.net’s terms and conditions, the “M” rating is supposed to be for anything that would probably be considered “R” rated in the film industry.  Violence, language, and vague/implied sexual themes.  The denizens of the internet, however, have used the “M” rating to pretty much mean “graphic sex.”  Technically, any depiction of graphic sexual acts is prohibited on FF.net.  There has to be over a million fanfics on ff.net, though, and there’s no possible way for the moderators to check every story to make sure the content matches the rating.  Thus, many sexually explicit fanfictions are posted there with little to no repercussions.  I’ve taken advantage of this myself, both in finding some really good fanfictions that happen to have well-written smut scenes, as well as in my own fanfic postings on there.  The hard part is finding well-written smut.

This is not one of those stories.

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1006: half-blood go back – Chapter One

Title: half-blood go back
Author: sparklydolphin
Media: Book / Movie
Topic: Percy Jackson and the Olympians / Harry Potter
Genre: None  Listed
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by agigabyte

agig: Cain and I are back, and this time we’re doing “half-blood go back”. It’s an utter shitfest.

Cain: Let’s get started.

i created an OC for this story. Her name is Ariana L. She is a daughter of Athena but is the only one in her cabin that has brown hair. She has hazel eyes and is  best friends with Nico and Rachel. I also changed it to the prophet of eight. She went into Tartarus with Percy and Annabeth.

Cain: Woah there, could we have an intro before info?

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1005: Saphire – Oneshot

Title: Saphire
Author: Bat-teen 28
Media: Video Game
Topic: Thief: The Dark Project EVIDENTLY NOT.
Genre: Adventure/Mystery
URL: Saphire
Critiqued by SC, Contacts and the Master

Hello, and-

Contacts: Whoa, fucking hold it.

Really, man? Right in the middle of my introduction?

Contacts: What the hell does that say?

Oh, didn’t I tell you? I invited your old master to riff with us.

Contacts: WHICH ONE.

The… thief one. Why?

Contracts: Oh hell no, I’m out of here!

Relax, dummy, he’s not here yet. He sent a letter saying he might not even show up.

Contacts: And you believed him?!

Uh, yes?

Contacts: You moron!

…Are you gonna sit down so that I can do my intro, now?

Contacts: …Fine.

Thank you.

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1004: Beauty within the beast – Chapters 5 & 6

Title: Beauty within the beast
Author: Sessh-Amy
Media: Movie
Topic:  The Beauty and The Beast
Genre: Romance/Drama
URL: Chapter 5
URL: Chapter 6
Critiqued by Ghostcat 

Hello, my sweet little Patrons!

I’ve got another pair of chapters ready to delight you, but first – the recap!

:flips through notes:

The Beast’s bullet wounds were examined by a talking stethoscope, who prescribed bed rest and absolutely nothing else. (I didn’t think about it at the time, but isn’t it strange that there just happened to be a doctor in the palace when the curse was cast?) Lumiere volunteered Gaston to be the Beast’s nurse for the two-plus weeks it will take these life-threatening wounds to heal. Later the sinister candelabra bribed Gaston with a pretty rock, convincing the hunter to seduce his former prey in order to break the curse. Gaston was initially reluctant, but succumbed to the power of the shiny.

On to the fic!

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1003: District 9 and three quarters – Chapters Six and Seven

Title: District 9 and three quarters
Author: Fire Lord Mowse
Media:  Books/Movies
Topic: Harry Potter/The Hunger Games
Genre: Romance/Sci-fi
URL: District 9 and three quarters: Chapter 6
URL: District 9 and three quarters: Chapter 7
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello ladies and gents, and welcome back to District 9 and three quarters. Well, I guess right now, we’ve got nothing better to do but continue our sojourn into complete insanity, am I right?

Ten bucks says that this crossover makes even less sense as we go. I for one am not looking forward to it, but hey, it’s whatever, you know?

So let’s not waste any more time. Let’s dig right in to more of this shit fest.

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1002: The Legend of Dragoon: The Eighth Spirit – Chapter Four

Title: The Legend of Dragoon: The Eighth Spirit
Author: PhoenixofShadows
Media: Video Game
Topic: Legend of Dragoon
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
URL: The Legend of Dragoon: The Eighth Spirit
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Welcome back, patrons, to another installment of The Eighth Spirit!  Up to this point, a large portion of this fic has just been a mixture of narrative plot regurgitation and straight-up plagiarizing the game’s script.  This week we finally get something new and original… mostly.

I wouldn’t get too excited.

Last time we were told about the aftermath of the assault on Seles and the battle with nameless evil officer #1.  All of it was plot regurgitation, so if you feel you missed something, you can check out the LP series by Whitemage Serenia.  Unfortunately I wasn’t able to find any series without a voice-over, but Whitemage’s series isn’t terrible in that regard.  At the very least his audio is clean of the background noise that tends to plague a lot of LP series and he doesn’t constantly make lame comments in response to the dialogue.  However, like most LP series of single player games with voice-overs, he could stand to talk a lot less.  So it goes.

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