1909: Dragon Souls – Chapter Three, Part One

Title: Dragon Souls
Author: A Dumbass
Media: Video Games
Topic: Skyrim and Dark Souls
Genre: Adventure, Supernatural
URL: None Available
Critiqued by Leider Hosen

Trigger Warning that Most Definitely Should be Heeded: Herein is a body of text quoted from the hawtest hawtsecks novel ever put to pen in all of history that will destroy the minds of anyone under age 69 who reads it, therefore it should not be read by anyone ever or you will die of hotness.

-Numerous Sarcasm Detectors explode in incredible fashion-

Welcome back Patrons, to the Hosen Suffers Party! If you want suffering, you’ve come to the right place! Last time… a whole lot of pointless plot regurgitation because younger me didn’t know any better, and thought having a chapter of plot regurgitation was A-Ok.

There wasn’t much to comment on, but trust me, that’s going to change very quickly.

Let’s start with the obligatory A/N:

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1908: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper – Chapter Five

Title: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper
Author: Darth Sith’ari
Media: Film
Topic: Star Wars
Genre: None given, other than the fact that it’s an AU
URL: Chapter Five
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and Jamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags, and we’re back with more boring AU!

Jamags: I’ve returned as well.

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1904: Maya and Raider – Chapter Seven

Title: Maya and Raider
Author: Eclipsepheniox
Media: Video Game
Topic: Borderlands
Genre: Adventure/Romance
URL: Chapter 7
Critiqued by Delta XIII

I’m seriously running out of creative ways to open these things.

EVERYTHING WRONG
WITH
Maya and Raider
Chapter 7
(yeah yeah)
(you know the drill)

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1903: A spiritual waffles after an isolate existence – One Shot (But it’s actually 10 chapters)

Title: A spiritual waffles after an isolate existence
Author: Hamiltonlover2002
Media: Book/Musical/TV Show/Fanfiction
Topic: Harry Potter/Hamilton/Sherlock/Possibly My Immortal/Supernatural/Kitchen Sink
Genre: Tragedy/Supernatural
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Angie

Prologue lolz:

*takes a long drink of blood from a bottle she has* Alright, I guess I might as well search for fics to review so I have work set out for me after I finish Unknown Origins. Mmm…*clicks on a fanfiction*

…this can’t wait.

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1901: Dragon Souls – Chapter Two

Title: Dragon Souls
Author: A Dumbass
Media: Video Games
Topic: Skyrim and Dark Souls
Genre: Adventure, Supernatural
URL: None Available
Critiqued by Leider Hosen

Hello Patrons, welcome back to the “Hosen Suffers for his Sins” party! Drinks are hard and complimentary, you’re going to need them. I’m drunk as FUCK already *chug chug chug chug* There’s also chocolate, popcorn, chocolate popcorn, and a few dubious munchies I borrowed from Syl without her knowledge or permission.

-Hosen lifts a glowing bag of squiggly live squids salted with pepper, uranium, and extremophile bacteria from somewhere around Kuiper Belt- If this kills me, I can get out of doing the Riff! *nom*

…Dammit! It’s spicy and delicious.

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1898: Betrayal – Chapter Five

Title: Betrayal
Author: Darksakudragon
Media: Anime
Topic: Naruto
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
URL: Chapter Five
Critiqued by Lyle

Hello, lovelies!

*flounces into the room with a giant mug of eggnog in her grip*

Welcome back to Betrayal!  And speaking of betrayals, all my helpers abandoned me this week when they found out I’d be doing this fic instead of PB:LiW.  As I’m on my own, I figured I’d need some foritifcation to make it through.

*sits down in her chair and sets the mug on the desk before pulling a bottle of Fireball Whiskey from her desk drawer*

This should do it!

*adds a generous glug to her eggnog then takes a big swig from her mug*

Ah yessssss.

Now that I’m ready to go, let’s recap.  Sakura encountered a couple of demon children and they all exited the forest into the forest, while Naruto et al ate ramen and then went to… someone’s… house.  Sakura may or may not have teleported into the scene to hit Naruto.  The details are about as muddled as the author’s notes are prolific.

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1897: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper – Chapter Four

Title: Padme-Series: Clone Trooper
Author: Darth Sith’ari
Media: Film
Topic: Star Wars
Genre: None given, other than the fact that it’s an AU
URL: Chapter Four
Critiqued by BatJamags (BadJamags and Jamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags…

Jamags: And I’m back.

And I’m just happy he didn’t call the DRD again by saying he’s the guest guest host.

*Alarms blare*

Jamags: You’re not very smart, are you?

It’s not like I have to deal with it. Get moving, minion.

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