1956: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter Nine, Part One

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 9
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags, and I’m back with more of The Shadow Warriors, the fic that just keeps finding new ways to suck. When I copy-and-paste new chapters into Word, I need to go back and fix a few formatting things to match my set-up, which involves at least skimming the chapter. So, believe me, this chapter introduces a completely new flavor of suck to this fic (well, new to this fic, anyway).

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1952: Jumanji II – Prologue

Title: Jumanji II
Author: Moonlight Willows
Media: Movies
Topic: Jumanji
Genre: Adventure/Suspense
URL: Jumanji II
Critiqued by Angie

What’s going on, everybody? My name is Angie and today I’m taking the CinemaSins way of choosing topics. Since “Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle” recently came out to just…

…just the worst reviews, we’re going to be riffing it.

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1948: THE PRINCESS BRIDE: LADY IN WAITING – Chapter Two, Part Two

Title: THE PRINCESS BRIDE: LADY IN WAITING
Author: GaGa4FrightNight
Media: Movie
Topic: The Princess Bride (Movie Version)
Genre: Romance/Humor
URL:Chapter Two
Critiqued by Lina

*Lina plops down into Lyle’s chair and presses a few buttons on the desk.*

She owes me so much for this.

*pops her neck and rolls her shoulders*

Welcome, Patrons, to THE PURPLE BRIDE: LADY IS WHINING.  I’m Lina and I’m taking over for Lyle today.  She has a new work schedule and can’t be here right now.

*straightens a few papers on the desk and glances at them*

If I’ve gone over Lyle’s notes correctly, the last time we saw this fic, the Sue coerced a marriage proposal from Humperdinck while he was tied to a bed.  Then they fucked, although they did so “off screen,” so the thesaurus was spared from having to come up with twenty different ways to say they fucked.  Small victories.

Let’s see what this chapter has in store for us.

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1947: Blue Moon – One Shot

Title: Blue Moon
Author: SivanShemesh
Media: Books/Cartoon
Topic: Lord of the Rings/The Smurfs
Genre: Angst and Humor
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Angie and Queenie

Queenie: “Australian, not Scottish.”

Shut up.

Queenie: “That’s why Jack calls him a kangaroo at one point.”

I will physically fight you.

Welcome back to Angie Pays for Her Sins. This time, I’m reviewing a Lord in the Rings fanfiction to repay for Brego’s Mistress.

Queenie: I went through the tiresome labor of searching for a fanfiction, and I stumbled upon a crossover between some Earth cartoon called The Smurfs. The title is also the name of a beer brand. So…that’s fun.

This fic is called Coors Light.

Queenie: That’s…nope. That’s incorrect. The fic is called Blue Moon. Let’s begin.

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1945: The Shadow Warriors – Chapter Eight

Title: The Shadow Warriors
Author: Shadow knight1121
Media: Comics
Topic: Justice League
Genre: Crime/Mystery
URL: Chapter 8
Critiqued by BatJamags (GoodJamags)

Hello once again, patrons! I’m your guest host, BatJamags, and I’m back with more of The Shadow Warriors, the train wreck of a fic that wants to be about Batman but also doesn’t like him for some reason.

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1942: Betrayal – Chapter Six

Title: Betrayal
Author: Darksakudragon
Media: Anime
Topic: Naruto
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
URL: Chapter Six
Critiqued by Lyle

Happy New Year, lovelies!  *holds up a wine glass in a toast*  Welcome back to “Betrayal!”  Are you ready to start this year with a metric ass-load of gibberish? No?

Too bad.

Last time on this disaster, the entirety of Konoha hung out in Sakura’s apartment and got attacked by Female Demon Puss in Boots.  Sakura and the other cat, which was supposed to be a neko-girl but the author forgot this while writing, hung out in a tree.  Author’s notes continued to be pointlessly prolific.

*raises glass again*  Strap in, lovelies.  Here we go!

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1941: The Competition – One Shot

Title: The Competition
Author: dominiquesweatt
Media: Books/Movies
Topic: The Outsiders/Sing (2016)
Genre: Drama and Humor
URL: The Competition
Critiqued by Angie and Queenie

May, 2017

No! No! I don’t want to finish The Girl! I hate this! This fanfiction is ruining what I love about my favorite book! I won’t do it, I won’t do it, I won’t do it.

Now

There’s really no reason to tie me up.

Queenie: I know, I just thought it would be fun.

Are you having fun?

Queenie: Yeah, I’m having a good time.

Couldn’t be happier for you.

Hey, everyone. So…Queenie reminded me that I didn’t—

Queenie: Couldn’t.

…couldn’t finish The Girl. And as punishment, she gave me this crapfest.

Queenie: I dig deep.

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