Unknown Origins – Chapter One, Part Four

Title: Unknown Origins
Author: Cyberweasel89
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Adventure and Romance
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Hiraani and Queen Malieasha of Jacelajoglia

Queenie: Hello, dear ones! Welcome back to Unknown Origins.

Welcome back to Everything Sucks: Part Nine. *continues stuffing mouth with Toaster Strudels*

Queenie: Also, Angie decided to drop Coffin Rock to devote her time to watching us suffer.

Angie: *from the other room* That’s not what I said, and you know it. But thank you for trying.

Queenie: No problem. Anyhow, when we last left off, we met Sunny Smiles, Chet continued to be a pervert beyond belief, and Hiraani had a mental breakdown.

What do you mean, had?

Queenie: Oh, but before we go on. Happy almost Halloween!

We were so close.

Queenie: Hiraani, what are you dressed up as?

I am glad you asked. I dressed up as First Lady Nancy Reagan to honor—

Queenie: I dressed up as a queen. So.

Groundbreaking.

Queenie: Let’s continue on.

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1874: Unknown Origins – Chapter One, Part Three

Title: Unknown Origins
Author: Cyberweasel89
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Adventure and Romance
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Hiraani and Queen Malieasha of Jacelajoglia

Helloooo, friends. I’m Hiraani…

Queenie: I’m Malie.

And today we’re reviewing more Unknown Origins. Joy. Last time we drank. It was fun. Let’s read.

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1865: The Lone Wolf Of The Normandy– Chapter 17

Title: The Lone Wolf of the Normandy
Author: SSJ Lone Wolf
Media: Games
Topic: Halo / Mass Effect
Genre: Sci-Fi/Adventure
URL: Chapter 17
Critiqued by
AdmiralSakai and JLT. Troy Fisher

Hello hello all you patrons! And welcome back to what is, finally, the last chapter of The Lone Wolf Of The Normandy. Take it away, Troy.

Well, pretty much all of the last chapter was spent just trying to get all of the various UNSC forces that have been dumped into Shepard’s universe on the same comm frequency and up to speed on all the bullshit that’s been going on regarding the slavers and the Kilimanjaro and whatever. Oh yeah, and Blaze killed the krogan who I guess was in charge of the whole ground assault or something, it’s kind of hard to tell what the wider course of this engagement is when we have zero idea what sort of forces both sides have, where they are located, or about really anything at all other than whatever enemy happens to be directly in front of one of the Spartans at the moment.”

Show and Tell Counter: 75

Amorous Counter: 116

Collateral Douchebag Counter: 39

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1863: Unknown Origins – Chapter One, Part Two

Title: Unknown Origins
Author: Cyberweasel89
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Adventure and Romance
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Hiraani and Queen Malieasha of Jacelajoglia

Helloooo, friends! I’m Hiraani—

Queenie: And I, her superior.

And today we’re reviewing the next bit of Unknown Origins. Last time, Ms. Sue met a robot named Victor. Nothing else really happened. Let’s read on!

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1859: The Lone Wolf Of The Normandy — Chapter 16

Title: The Lone Wolf of the Normandy
Author: SSJ Lone Wolf
Media: Games
Topic: Halo / Mass Effect
Genre: Sci-Fi/Adventure
URL: Chapter 16
Critiqued by
AdmiralSakai and JLT. Troy Fisher

Hello hello all you patrons! Welcome back to The Lone Wolf Of The Normandy.

Last time the Normandy finally got to this random ‘jungle planet’ the Kilimanjaro was ditched on, dropped off the various Spartans it had onboard, and then immediately left again.

I really can’t blame them.

Anyway, pretty much the whole rest of the chapter was spent watching Jun, Six, Jorge, and that stupid ‘Blaze’ fucker wandering around killing a bunch of batarians in increasingly stupid ways before the UNSC Spirit Of Fire showed up out of the fucking blue and dropped off a fuck-load of troops to further fuck things up.”

Show and Tell Counter: 66

Amorous Counter: 116

Collateral Douchebag Counter: 39

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1854: The Lone Wolf Of The Normandy — Chapters 14 and 15

Title: The Lone Wolf of the Normandy
Author: SSJ Lone Wolf
Media: Games
Topic: Halo / Mass Effect
Genre: Sci-Fi/Adventure
URL: Chapter 14 and Chapter 15
Critiqued by
AdmiralSakai and JLT. Troy Fisher

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to The Lone Wolf Of The Normandy!

Last time we got to sit and watch Jun spit out a massive amount of mostly useless information about the Spartan programs and Noble Team to the Normandy crew, and were informed that back in my own galaxy Carter and the rest of them are all alive and on their way back to Earth because of bullshit-”

Because of that Monitor, actually.

– because of that bullshit Monitor. Oh, and Six decided he was actually going to not be a complete fucking jackass every waking minute and actually apologized to Shepard for… well, for threatening to murder her and her entire crew, but nothing really came out of it.”

Show and Tell Counter: 60

Amorous Counter: 116

Collateral Douchebag Counter: 37

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1852: Unknown Origins – Chapter One, Part One

Title: Unknown Origins
Author: Cyberweasel89
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Adventure and Romance
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Angie and Hiraani
Rating: M

Helloooo, friends! My name is Hiraani, and Angie…. *awkwardly looks over to Angie, slamming her head against the wall*

Angie: It’s stupid! It’s so fucking stupid! This fic is terrible!

Angie needs a little break, so I’m going to be filling in for this chapter. Which…judging by the Prologue, will take me eleven years. That’s okay! Let’s dive into Unkno—

Queenie: *slams open the door with her foot* I AM HERE TO HELP.

That’s okay.

Queenie: I HAVE BEEN SENT BY THE ROYAL GUARD.

…Gumdrop?

Queenie: No, the royal guard.

Okay. So Gumdrop.

Queenie: Anyway, they informed me that inferior human left you alone to review this fic.

Angie? She’s not that bad. And it’s only for this chapter—

Queenie: The chapter that will take several thousand weeks to review in its entirety? Right. Let’s take a look at Unknown Origins.

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