1922: Dawn By Eye – Chapters Two and Three

Title:  Dawn By Eye
Author:  coolcake05
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Fallout / Wall-E
Genre: Sci-Fi / Adventure
URL: Dawn By Eye
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, patrons, welcome back to “Dawn By Eye!”

In our last installment, we received what was essentially the beginning of Fallout: New Vegas but with the courier playing the part of Benny, and EVE playing the part of the courier.  Because apparently that’s how writing works these days.

Well, terrible writing, anyway.

There was also a pointless scene in there about the crew of the Axiom setting up “repopulation camps,” which I think we’re all better off not thinking about.  Following that was an even more pointless scene where WALL-E is fetched by EVE for a meeting with Captain McCrea.

And that was pretty much it since the bulk of the riff ended up being info dumping and cinematography shop-talk on my part.  This week should be more fic-focused, so let’s head on in!

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1920: Child of Imagation – Chapters One and Two

Title: Child of Imagation
Author: ultimatewildcat
Media: Movies
Topic: Rise of the Guardians
Genre: Mystery and Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Angie

That wasn’t a typo.

Welcome back everyone. My name is Angie and today I’m riffing Child of Imagation.

(Immigration? Imagination? Who knows.)

It’s based off Rise of the Guardians. Ghostie has riffed some RotG fics, so I’ll save you the infodump. Basically it’s a 2012 DreamWorks film where mythical beings join together to defeat the Boogeyman. And it’s glorious.

Anyway, Child of Imagation. Let’s begin.

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1916: Dawn By Eye – Chapter One

Title:  Dawn By Eye
Author:  coolcake05
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: Fallout / Wall-E
Genre: Sci-Fi / Adventure
URL: Dawn By Eye
Critiqued by TacoMagic

Hey, patrons!  I’m back and ready to tackle another mini-project before moving onto something meatier.  This mini-project is “Dawn By Eye” a WALL-E crossover with Fallout.

I’ll give you all a minute.

You all back?  Good.  So, for those who somehow have gone without seeing the movie, WALL-E is a Pixar movie featuring the titular character WALL-E, an automated garbage cleanup robot, and his adventures with EVE, a botanical specimen retrieval robot.  The basic premise of the movie, which really doesn’t do it justice, is that at some point in the future rampant consumerism has left the world a giant garbage dump and humanity has to abandon it temporarily while everything is cleaned up.  That’s where WALL-E comes into the picture.  He’s the last remaining cleanup robot who is still doing his job one compacted garbage block at a time.

However, due to the extensive time he’s spent alone in autonomous mode, his programming has started to drift and he’s gone all “ghost in the machine.”  He’s developed a personality as well as a huge collection of curiosities he’s found while digging through all the garbage.  Eventually EVE shows up on her mission to find signs of plant life which would indicate that Earth is one again habitable.

Look, I’m not going to regurgitate the whole movie, so if you really want to know the low-down on WALL-E, just go watch it.  The really important point I want to bring up here isn’t necessarily the plot of the movie anyway, but rather the way the movie is put together and presented.  See, the thing that makes WALL-E so interesting is that it utilizes almost no dialogue to tell the main story, it’s almost entirely visual. Yes there is dialogue that tells the supporting story of the trash-heap that is future Earth, but the primary story of WALL-E and EVE as told from their perspective is essentially a story without any substantial dialogue.

This is one of those things that Pixar has excelled at for a long time and they have showcased through their fairly substantial library of short films.  Pixar knows how to show something in the purest form.  No words, no exposition, just visual storytelling.  Probably their most famous example of this is the intro to UP that portrays the relationship of Carl and Ellie in an extremely powerful way.

WALL-E is that skill taken to the length of nearly an entire movie.  Now, I bring this up specifically because it’s visual storytelling.  Visual.

That should be a pretty hefty warning sign for most folk who are familiar with fanfiction.  It would be difficult enough for a skilled veteran writer to convey a visual story with words, and here we’ve got an amateur trying to do just that.  While also trying to mix in Fallout at the same time.

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1899: The Lone Wolf of the Normandy — Chapter 18, Chapter 19, and SSJ Lone Wolf’s Descent Into Madness

Title: The Lone Wolf of the Normandy
Author: SSJ Lone Wolf
Media: Games
Topic: Halo / Mass Effect
Genre: Sci-Fi/Adventure
URL: Chapter 18
Critiqued by
AdmiralSakai and JLT. Troy Fisher

-WARNING-
This chapter of The Lone Wolf of the Normandy contains potential flamebait in the form of the author flaming his critics. He’s not very good at it, but manages to bring up most of the Standard Points of Internet Vitriol nonetheless.

*AdmiralSakai strides back through the now clean and well-lit hallways of RIFFCON, dressed once again in cargo pants and a neatly-pressed lab coat and carrying a pad of graph paper.*

All right. I haven’t seen any of those brain-eating zombies since I installed the new spam filter; all the bathrooms and staff areas have been re-stocked with fresh boxes of facial tissue and now that Nightmare Moon has been re-banished they should stay that way; all the copper piping has been reinstalled and I talked to Slenderman’s legal department about having Lizzie reassigned to Hogwarts-In-England where she belongs; and it turns out that I was perfectly able to get rid of Deadsun with just a Level 70 Baptist, a Level 62 New Ager, and a few licensed electricians. So it looks like we’re finally back on track to-

*Sakai turns the corner to the control room and stops dead. Troy Fisher is sitting in front of the viewport with a hollow, dead-eyed expression and an open bottle of Scotch on the desk next to him.*

It’s… it’s back, sir.”

No.

No no no no no no no no no. Lone Wolf is over. It’s dead, I killed it, we do not have to go through with this nonsense again!

*sigh*

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back once again to The Lone Wolf of the Normandy.
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1892: Unknown Origins – Chapter One, Part Five

Title: Unknown Origins
Author: Cyberweasel89
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Adventure and Romance
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Hiraani and Queen Malieasha of Jacelajoglia

ONE DAY LATER

Queenie: *knocks on Hiraani’s bedroom door* Lady?

*grumbles something not understandable*

Queenie: *opens door* Hiraani, we’ve got to review the fic.

*grumbles again, covers head with sheets, face sinking into pillow*

Queenie: I know you’re hungover, but we’ve got to keep going.

*begrudgingly gets up* Fine. Last time…*Hiraani is at a blank* What happened last time?

Queenie: Doesn’t matter. Let’s read it.

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1886: Unknown Origins – Chapter One, Part Five

Title: Unknown Origins
Author: Cyberweasel89
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Adventure and Romance
URL: Unknown Origins – Chapter One
Critiqued by Hiraani and Queen Malieasha of Jacelajoglia
Queenie: Hello, lovelies! Welcome back to Unknown Origins. Last time, Hiraani continued to be a Sally Stick-In-The-Mud…

I’ve never hated myself more than I do right now.

Queenie: …Unknown Origins continued to be a blight on both of our sanities…

FLASHBACK

*waves arms around, distressed. Swallows Toaster Strudel* Exactly! <i>Exactly!</i> In fact, come to think of it—Dr. Mitchell should have given her medication to begin with! He’s an incompetent doctor! Stupid stupid stupid!

Queenie: These past few riffs are the angriest I’ve ever seen you and it’s great.

END FLASHBACK

Queenie: And the Sue continued to be a Sue. Nothing much has changed.

Let’s continue on.

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1880: Unknown Origins – Chapter One, Part Four

Title: Unknown Origins
Author: Cyberweasel89
Media: Video Games
Topic: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Adventure and Romance
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by Hiraani and Queen Malieasha of Jacelajoglia

Queenie: Hello, dear ones! Welcome back to Unknown Origins.

Welcome back to Everything Sucks: Part Nine. *continues stuffing mouth with Toaster Strudels*

Queenie: Also, Angie decided to drop Coffin Rock to devote her time to watching us suffer.

Angie: *from the other room* That’s not what I said, and you know it. But thank you for trying.

Queenie: No problem. Anyhow, when we last left off, we met Sunny Smiles, Chet continued to be a pervert beyond belief, and Hiraani had a mental breakdown.

What do you mean, had?

Queenie: Oh, but before we go on. Happy almost Halloween!

We were so close.

Queenie: Hiraani, what are you dressed up as?

I am glad you asked. I dressed up as First Lady Nancy Reagan to honor—

Queenie: I dressed up as a queen. So.

Groundbreaking.

Queenie: Let’s continue on.

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