951: Tales of Vesperia 2: The Blastia Age Restored – Chapter Five, Part One

Title: Tales of Vesperia 2: The Blastia Age Restored
Author: MrAwesomeMattyDA
Media: Video Game
Topic: Tales of Vesperia
Genre: Adventure/Humor
URL: Chapter 5
Critiqued by SC and Ashenan

Hello, and welcome back to Tales of Vesperia 2: The Blastia Age Restored by MrAwesomeMatty! I’m your host, SC, and according to Specs’ notes from last chapter, we’ve finally reached Zaphias, and of course Tai hates it. There also seems to be undertones of the author trying to make Tai seem deep and mysterious, with predictable results of failure, as Specs says it only served to confuse him worse rather than intrigue him.

Well, good to know that Specs kept things real while I was out.

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950: Lovesick Smurfette – Oneshot

 

Title: Lovesick Smurfette
Author: Nigel Yearning
Media: TV Show/Movie
Topic:  The Smurfs
Genre: Romance
URL: Chapter 1
Critiqued by Ghostcat 

 

 

 

Greetings, dearest Patrons!

I’ve returned with yet another oneshot featuring the Smurfs! No zombies this time, though. I know you are quite disappointed.

This fic is by the same author as the previous zombie Smurf fic, but is quite different in tone. Let me show you what I mean – here’s the summary.

Smurfette has a crush on the new smurf who had been living in the Smurf Village for 6 months, will she be able to confess her feelings to him? Oneshot.

Something tells me that Smurfette will be able to muster up the courage to confess to this OC/SI Stu. Probably because I’ve read way too many of these “confession” Romance fics.

To the fic!

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949: Secrets of the Master Emerald – Chapter Two

Title: Secrets of the Master Emerald
Author: Lidia1357
Media:  Video Games
Topic: Sonic the Hedgehog
Genre: “Romance”
URL: Secrets of the Master Emerald: Chapter 2
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck

Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back to Thursdays here at the Library!

*stuffs a shirt in a suitcase*

Oh, what’s that? Yeah, um… well, you see, I’m kind of in a rush to head out to Ohayocon here. I just need to do some last-minute packing, honest! Just the last-minute packing and I’ll be good to go!

*offstage trombone*

Oh, fine, I’ll do the riff!

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948: Life with Raptors – Chapter Nine

Title: Life with Raptors
Author:   AwesomeHunter77
Media: Movie
Topic: Jurassic Park
Genre:  Humor/Drama
URL: Life with Raptors
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Eliza

Well, we’re in the home stretch now, folks.  Just two more chapters and we’ll have put yet another raptor romance fic behind us.  Dinosaur cookies and brain bleach coctails will be served at the reception after the last installment.  But until then, we’ve got another chapter to tackle.  With me again is Eliza, one of our resident experts on the subject of raptors.

“I’m now in 3D!”

Right.

Last time on Life with Raptors, May spent a lot of time stockpiling for a hurricane.  Like, a lot of time.  Not sure why she thought she needed all the crap she gathered, seeing as tropical storms typically blow over in only a day or two at most, but apparently she likes to be well stocked.  And by well stocked, I mean sitting on top of a pile of grass, twigs, and rotting food.  Meanwhile she also rigged up a new door to the Tree Cave.  Made out of an untanned dinosaur skin.

“Tree Cave’s new name is Stank-Hole.”

Meanwhile Seth and company finally have a half-decent hunt.  And by that I mean they find something already dead and tuck-in.  Still, way better than they’d been doing up to that point.  Anyway, through a point of sheer contrivance, this scavenged corpse also happened to be the one May cut her door from.  So Seth used her scent from that carcass to track her down, at which point they were reunited.

“You forgot the best part!”

Which was?

“May beat Seth with a stick!”

Ahh, yes.  How could I forget?

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947: Persona 3: Trade Me- Chapters 1, 2, 3 & 4

Title: Persona 3: Trade Me
Author: Bayanette Winters
Media: Video Game
Topic:  Persona
Genre: Romance/Adventure
URL: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3 & Chapter 4
Critiqued by Erttheking

WARNING THIS SNARKING WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING OF PERSONA 3! Proceed with caution

E: Is he still locked in there?

C: Yeah, I think he is.

N: Never thought I’d see him cry. I mean really cry, not that fake “Feel emotions now,” shit we got in his story.

E: Look, maybe we should just give him some space. I’ve got a new fic ready to go. Persona 3: Trade me. It’s about a female OC meeting the cast of Persona 3.

C: Hurts already.

N: Herr and Taco are the only people we know of that are familiar with Persona though. Quick crash course?

E: Emphasis on quick. Persona is a spin off of the Shin Megami Tensei series. The series has four entries with relatively self contained plots that usually involve a group of high school students summoning spirits that reflect their inner selves to fight Shadows, personifications of negative human emotions. Persona 3 centers around the Dark Hour, a hidden hour that takes place after midnight. The majority of humanity don’t even know it happens, as they are sealed inside coffins, but every once in awhile an unlucky bastard is left outside of his or her coffin and attacked by Shadows, leaving them emotionless and uncaring, just standing around until they die of starvation.

N: The main characters are people who have awakened their Personas, the only way to fight back against the Shadows. Their main mission involves investigating Tartus, a 200 story tall building that appears on the grounds of their school during the Dark Hour, and it takes them the entire game, the better part of a year, to get to the top.

C: Along the way they are assisted by a wealthy conglomerate owned by one of the character’s father, which has a shady pass, who kind of had a hand in starting the whole mess. After awhile, it becomes clear the Shadows were a harbinger for Nyx, the goddess of death, who wants to fulfill humanity’s subconscious desire to die. The said thing is that Nyx doesn’t WANT to kill the human race, she actually says that if there were more people like the main cast, The Fall could’ve been averted, but sadly she doesn’t have a choice in the matter. See, there’s another being called Erebus, the personification of the human desire to die, which is constantly reaching towards Nyx. If it touches Nyx, the human race goes bye bye. The day is only saved by the main character sacrificing his or her life to become a barrier between Nyx and Erebus. There’s more, but we’ll get to that as we go. Ok, first chapter.

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946: My Job on Australian Wheel of Fortune – Chapter Three

Title: My Job On Australian Wheel Of Fortune
Author: Geaney1992
Media: Television
Topic:  Wheel of Fortune
Genre: Fantasy/Friendship
URL: Chapter Three
Critiqued by Lyle

Hi, everyone!  I’m making my official announcement that I’m done with Thomas & Friends: Sodor High Tales.  I just can’t bring myself to go back to a fic that trivializes both slavery and killing children.  So while I look for another stinker to do in conjunction with Australian Wheel of Fortune, I’ll get through another chapter of this bizarre game show fanfiction.

The last time we met, Kierain broke his hand, yelled at his sisters, watched The Golden Girls, went back to work, and fell off his stool in pain during the middle of shooting.

*yawns*

If you’ll all look in your desks, I’ve supplied the entire class with caffeine pills.  This fic is so boring I feel this is the only sure way to stay awake while reading it.

*pops a pill*

Let’s do this!

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945: Dragon Ball E! – Chapter One

Title: Dragon Ball E!
Author: firelifeblizzard
Media: Anime/Manga
Topic: Dragonball Z
Genre: Adventure & Suspense
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by KittyNoodles

Hello, everybody! Since our very dear friend Writer of Eryn Lasgalen hasn’t yet posted the fourteenth and supposedly final chapter of To Love Another Soul, I’ve decided to look for another long-ish fic to start riffing while we wait.

Plus, I need something to do once TLAS does finally end.

Fortunately, I stumbled across a treasure trove of terrible Dragonball Z fanfictions by ficcer firelifeblizzard, who just happens to have in his portfolio a DBZ fic by the same name as the one I was trying to find (Dragonball E by Trajku, which was MSTed by my favorite DBZ author of all time, Dragoness Eclectic.)

For those who are not aware, Akira Toriyama’s Dragon Ball metaseries follows the adventures of Son Goku, a curious and very… world-unwise boy with a bad case of bedhead, a monkey’s tail, and a penchant for whomping everybody in sight who attempts to battle him or threaten the safety of the Earth or any innocent lives. It’s later revealed that Goku is a Saiyan, a shapeshifting alien from a mostly-extinct race of space pirates. Shenanigans ensue, and every now and again these things called dragon balls are gathered up so that wishes can be granted by the magical dragon genie that they summon. The fair majority of these wishes are spent bringing dead people back to life.

More comprehensive information on the series, episodes, and characters can be found at the official site.

In order to get ourselves nice and acquainted-like with Evan’s… work… let’s take a dip into his version of Dragonball E—or, as he calls it, Dragon Ball E!

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