2359: Sonichu — Issue 3, Episodes 10 and 11

Title: Sonichu
Author: Christine Weston Chandler, aka. Christopher Weston Chandler, aka. Christian Weston Chandler, aka. Chris-Chan
Media: Webcomic
Topic: Sonic The Hedgehog / Pokemon / IRL / Yu-Gi-Oh
Genre: “Parody”, apparently.
URL: Issue 3 Template Box
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to the manifold wonders of Sonichu.

Last time Chris-Chan Sonichu, Sarah Nicole Hammer, and Wes Iseli got (for the most part) over their stupid soap opera bullshit and agreed to stop the Evil that had been released with their Anchuent Hedgehog Powers. This Evil took the form of a giant golem in an Egyptian headdress, controlled by a talking purple Sno Cone named Count Graduon, who had cut a deal with the witch Mary Lee Walsh to carry him around in exchange for assistance in her own mission of “shattering hearts” (whatever that means). The Power Chus kicked the golem’s ass and sent both Graduon and Walsh packing (or, rather, just let them run away), but then in the Sub-Episode Chris tracked Walsh to her office and appeared to kill her.

I wonder what Giovanni and Hedgehog Of Color are up to?

Typo Cunter: 45

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2353: Sonichu — Issue 2, Episode 9 and Sub-Episode 3

Title: Sonichu
Author: Christine Weston Chandler, aka. Christopher Weston Chandler, aka. Christian Weston Chandler, aka. Chris-Chan
Media: Webcomic
Topic: Sonic The Hedgehog / Pokemon / IRL / Yu-Gi-Oh
Genre: “Parody”, apparently.
URL: Issue 2 Template Box
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to the wonderful world of Sonichu.

Last time actually a whole lot of plot-relevant shit went down. Chris and Sonichu discovered an ancient ruin (left behind by the Cherokees, of all people!) which contained magical pedestals capable of empowering Chris’s medallion to be able to turn him into Chris-Chan Sonichu and also giving him an expositional vision from the ancient Cherokee “king” he is apparently a reincarnation of.

By some weird coincidence Sarah, the girl Chris has a one-sided boner for, and Wes, the dude Chris has a one-sided hateboner for due to his having briefly dated Sarah when they were all in high school, are also reincarnations of ancient Amerindian (or in the case of Wes and his ‘Wasabi Clan’ heritage, possibly Japanese) leaders, and they too have hedgehog powers. They’re all prophecized to band together to defeat some kind of Ancient Evil that got released when Sonichu found the cave, but Wes is more interested in acquiring the Cherokian Crown, an artifact which Chris apparently briefly possessed and which has THE POWAH TO RULE THE WOOOOOORLD!!!!

He beat the tar out of Chris while the both of them were in hedgehog form and managed to swipe the Crown, but then Sarah showed up and nailed him to a tree with a lightning arrow.

Typo Cunter: 40

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2335: Sonichu — Issue 1 Episodes 4 and 5

Title: Sonichu
Author: Christine Weston Chandler, aka. Christopher Weston Chandler, aka. Christian Weston Chandler, aka. Chris-Chan
Media: Webcomic
Topic: Sonic The Hedgehog / Pokemon / IRL
Genre: “Parody”, apparently.
URL: Cover and Issue 1 Template Box
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

This episode of Sonichu contains potential flamebait in the form of vaguely racially-stereotypical characterization and also Chris doing weird things to try and ward off accusations of same.

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Sonichu!

Previously, we saw Team Rocket’s agent Naitsirhc attack a shopping mall with a Zapdos and get driven off by Sonichu. Then, there were a bunch of pointless and non-canonical strips that accomplished nothing. After that, Chris-Chan turned into Chris-Chan Sonichu and beat up a Jerkop who was trying to keep him from sexually harassing women at a mall.

Remind me again why it took an entire issue for all of this to happen?

Typo Cunter: 11

We continue on, then, with Sonichu Issue 1.

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2314: Varren-Chasing Simulator: Unwanted Sychological Advisement — Chapter 4 Part 2

Title: Mass Effect: United Species Aliance [sic]
Author: Delfim the Black Kitsune
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect (and Sonic the Hedgehog and Star Trek???)
Genre: Sci-fi/Romance
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by: AdmiralSakai and Specialist Adrian Sevarra

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Mass Effect: United Species Aliance, the only Mass Effect Gary Stumanity ‘fic to be almost completely upstaged by the primary Stu’s pet varren.

Last time, Shepard and Delfim had a chat to deduce the blindingly obvious fact that having just been involved in a well-planned ambush by an organized and well-equipped force might indicate that somebody wishes the USA harm. Then Delfim and his harem-component XO had a conversation about underwear for no reason, and they got assigned to clear out a klixen nest on Tuchanka as a field test for their new MAKO. Normally I’d be flagging this as another excuse to be all “look at my tech, my tech is amaaaaazing!’ in our faces, but the previous Stu-masterbating scenes have all been so perfunctory in this thing that I suppose it’s really anybody’s guess.

hfy_4_delfim Read the rest of this entry »

2285: Still Doll — One Shot

Title: Still Doll
Author: TwilightsChild
Media: Cartoon
Topic: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic / Sonic the Hedgehog
Genre: Adventure
URL: Entire Fic
Critiqued by: Serketry and Serketry

In a dark, neglected broom closet, deep in the battle-scarred halls of RIFFCON, an irradiated corpse stirs to life. With a flash of green fire, its bullet-riddled carapace is replaced with a familiar utilitarian jumpsuit. Wordlessly, the janitor shuffles along, pushing his cleaning cart towards central command.

Spying a vacant terminal, he takes a seat an-

Morning y’all, I’m Serketry, and it’ll take more than Cpt. Argovigian’s shotgauntlet to the cranial plates to put me down. This place needs a good scrubbing… as does the orphanage. Let’s see…
Still Doll, by TwilightsChild. Looks like it’s from January 2015, a few months prior to the Season 5 premier… Oh! What have we here?


What’s that I don’t see? Could it be? No romance clop Ikea furniture assembly?!? But, oof, crossover. Hope it’s noth-

After was crowned ‘Princess of Friendship’, Twilight continues to balance her role, her friends, and something missing in her head. She had a vision about a black hedgehog named Shadow, who was awaited with her arrival, and was also having a certain feeling that Twilight will never return to her dimension.

The fuck is this shit? Read the rest of this entry »

2178: Poems of Creepypasta and Slenderverse, Son Is.exe Vs Ben Drowned, and Cthulhu Cultus — Crappy Pasta

Title: Poems of Creepypasta and Slenderverse
Author: The Blue Moon’s Shadow
Media: Creepypasta
Topic: Slenderman / Jeff the Killer / A Whole Bunch Of Other Random Pastas
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: Poems of Creepypasta and Slenderverse

Title: Son Is.exe Vs Ben Drowned
Author: A babbling nincompoop
Media: Creepypasta / Video Games
Topic: Sonic.exe / Ben Drowned / Mario
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: Dramatic Reading and Giant Wad Of Deleted Pages Including The Pasta

Title: Cthulhu Cultus
Author: PayZKick01
Media: Books
Topic: H. P. Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos
Genre: Creepypasta
URL: Cthulhu Cultus

Hello hello all you patrons! Remember to return the slab and make sure you avoid getting hypnotized by English bishops, because it’s that time again!
“You know what? It’s kinda sad. We’ve got pretty much the whole Spooptacular behind us now, and we have not seen one hyper-realistic hair of any of our old favorites- no Eyeless Jack, no Slenderman, no Demonic the Hedgehog, not even one measly little ol’ Jeff clone!”
You know what? You’re absolutely right. It’s been neat going through the ‘theory’ pastas and the ‘experiment’ pastas and whatever the fuck The God Theory was supposed to be, but when I think of creepypastas I think of possessed video games and pasty-faced supernatural entities in oddly contemporary attire. A lot of that got relocated to the Trollpasta Wiki when Creepypasta did its big ‘quality’ purge, and then when the Trollpasta Wiki got shut down two months ago due to Wikia’s admins being a bunch of humorless clickbat-mongers we actually lost huge amounts of it in favor of the bland, directionless drivel like Binary DNA and Arachnophobia that seems to currently be in vogue back on the main sites.
Fortunately, however, there is still fanfiction of the classic creepypasta. Including poetry. ~880 words of poetry.

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1723: SONIC HIGH SCHOOL – Chapter Twelve

Author: DarkDoomFireMaster
Media:  Video Game
Topic: Sonic the Hedgehog
Genre: Drama/Romance
URL: Chapter Twelve
Critiqued by Lyle and Lina

Lina:  You’re joking, right?  We’re still doing this?

Yeah, I know.  Life got a little sticky and I haven’t had the chance to find anything else to work on.  Hell, I’ve had a hard enough time getting guest riffs scheduled, as I’m sure everyone has noticed.

Lina:  Yeah, you did sort of fuck that all up, didn’t you.

I’d be mad at you for that, but it’s true.  Anyway, the last time we met-

Lina:  Eons ago.

-Tails and Cream had a study session that ended without sexy-times.

Lina:  Thank God.

Did anything else happen?  I honestly can’t remember.

Lina:  I honestly don’t think it matters.

Let’s just get to the next chapter, then.

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