2743: Mass Murder Effect: The First War Crime (Was Committed by the Protagonists) — Chapter 21 Part 4
Posted: January 18, 2021 Filed under: Admiral Sakai, Mass Effect, Mass Effect: The First War, Video Game | Tags: Adventure, Author Endorsements, Author's Note, Boring, Don't Cut Yourself on All That Edge, Gary Stumanity, Legendary Badfic, Mall Ninjutsu, Music, Oh Dear God My Eyes!, Oh god why why why why, Old Shames, Pacing Trainwreck, Pretentious as Fuck, Sci-Fi, Sequelitis, Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP!!!!!, Tryhard with a Vengeance, Video Game, WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN 15 Comments
Title:Mass Effect: The First War
Author:ProfFartBurger
Media: Video Game
Topic: Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure/Sci-Fi
URL: Chapter 21
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai
Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Mass Effect: The First War, which is going to finally actually end for real this time! I think it only fitting that I send it off with my own completely original musical composition:
Previously, we were forced to sit through a bunch of pointless rambling by a salarian intelligence analyst trying to interpret a bunch of extremely obvious social trends (and some stuff that wasn’t obvious but just outright false) as making the humans just TEH BESTEST THIGN EVAAAR because apparently none of the Citadel species understand how to use figurative language or whatever. Then, in an impressive late-game rally for the Bingo Board, the Alliance encountered an Original Species Do Not Steal and… failed to actually do anything with them.
2454: Cupcakes, Part 2 — Crappy Pasta
Posted: October 15, 2019 Filed under: Admiral Sakai, Cartoon, Creepypasta, Cupcakes, My Little Pony | Tags: "Dark", AdmiralSakai, Boring, Cartoon, Crappypasta Spooptacular, Creepypasta, Don't Cut Yourself on All That Edge, Fetish, Gore, Horror, Legendary Badfic, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Serketry, Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP!!!!!, What The F*** Is Wrong With This Person? 78 Comments-WARNING-
While this so-called horror story continues to resoundingly fail at being even remotely scary, it starts to hit pretty hard with the gross-out attempts in terms of blood and guts and also a bizarre focus on the actions of Rainbow Dash’s bladder.
Title: Cupcakes
Author: Sergeant Sprinkles
Media: Cartoon
Topic: My Little Pony
Genre: Creepypasta / “Horror” / Torture Porn
URL: Creepypasta Wiki Rehost
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai and Serketry
Hello hello all you patrons! Inflate your favorite organs and sort your pegasus wings by color because we are back with more Cupcakes goodness.
Don’t you mean…
Hey y’all, Serketry here. Again. Until this fic is as dead as Rainbow Dash.
And, of course, by ‘goodness’ I mean ‘incredibly repetitive foreshadowing of incredibly repetitive torture porn’.
Last time, Pinkie Pie fed Rainbow Dash a drugged cupcake and tied her up in a torture chamber underneath Sugar Cube Corner. Much capering and posing with skulls ensued, but it was all pretty pointless. And…. that’s literally it.
EDITED BY EDINPONY COUNTER: 6
Dubiously sexual counter: 4
2446: Cupcakes Part 1 — Crappy Pasta
Posted: October 8, 2019 Filed under: Admiral Sakai, Cartoon, Creepypasta, Cupcakes, My Little Pony | Tags: "Dark", AdmiralSakai, Boring, Cartoon, Crappypasta Spooptacular, Creepypasta, Don't Cut Yourself on All That Edge, Gore, Horror, Legendary Badfic, My Little Pony, Serketry, Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP!!!!!, What The F*** Is Wrong With This Person? 78 Comments-WARNING-
While the creepypasta under riff today is insanely not scary, it does contain some measure of gratuitous gore and you may not want to read it over lunch.
Title: Cupcakes
Author: Sergeant Sprinkles
Media: Cartoon
Topic: My Little Pony
Genre: Creepypasta / “Horror” / Torture Porn
URL: Creepypasta Wiki Rehost
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai and Serketry
Hello hello all you patrons! Plug your nearest housepet into the television set and make sure your doll vaccinations are up to date, because it’s that time of year again!
Today we’re dealing with a ‘fic that I wasn’t originally planning to ever riff due to its potential Librarian-breaker status (you will see why soon). However, I ran into a bunch of other people in a fimfiction forum I frequent saying that maybe it wasn’t so bad and for the time had some interesting ideas. So now I’m going to show exactly why that’s not the case, on a site with an average readership of ten people that none of the commenters on that forum frequent or even know exists.
Yay me!
Yay us, actually. Hey y’all, Serketry here. The Admiral brought me back. For this. Thanks, Admiral.
Yeah. This is… a doozie.
Library of the Damned 
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