2363: Sonichu — Issue 3 Sub-Episode 4 and Issue 4 Sub-Episode 5

Title: Sonichu
Author: Christine Weston Chandler, aka. Christopher Weston Chandler, aka. Christian Weston Chandler, aka. Chris-Chan
Media: Webcomic
Topic: Sonic The Hedgehog / Pokemon / IRL / Yu-Gi-Oh
Genre: “Parody”, apparently.
URL: Issue 3 Template Box and Issue 4 Template Box
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to the wonderful world of Sonichu!

Previously, Hedgehog Of Color tried to steal a McGuffin, but a cluster of recolored Sonichus with elemental powers beat the stuffing out of him and took it back.

That’s… literally it.

Typo Cunter: 61

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2359: Sonichu — Issue 3, Episodes 10 and 11

Title: Sonichu
Author: Christine Weston Chandler, aka. Christopher Weston Chandler, aka. Christian Weston Chandler, aka. Chris-Chan
Media: Webcomic
Topic: Sonic The Hedgehog / Pokemon / IRL / Yu-Gi-Oh
Genre: “Parody”, apparently.
URL: Issue 3 Template Box
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to the manifold wonders of Sonichu.

Last time Chris-Chan Sonichu, Sarah Nicole Hammer, and Wes Iseli got (for the most part) over their stupid soap opera bullshit and agreed to stop the Evil that had been released with their Anchuent Hedgehog Powers. This Evil took the form of a giant golem in an Egyptian headdress, controlled by a talking purple Sno Cone named Count Graduon, who had cut a deal with the witch Mary Lee Walsh to carry him around in exchange for assistance in her own mission of “shattering hearts” (whatever that means). The Power Chus kicked the golem’s ass and sent both Graduon and Walsh packing (or, rather, just let them run away), but then in the Sub-Episode Chris tracked Walsh to her office and appeared to kill her.

I wonder what Giovanni and Hedgehog Of Color are up to?

Typo Cunter: 45

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2353: Sonichu — Issue 2, Episode 9 and Sub-Episode 3

Title: Sonichu
Author: Christine Weston Chandler, aka. Christopher Weston Chandler, aka. Christian Weston Chandler, aka. Chris-Chan
Media: Webcomic
Topic: Sonic The Hedgehog / Pokemon / IRL / Yu-Gi-Oh
Genre: “Parody”, apparently.
URL: Issue 2 Template Box
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to the wonderful world of Sonichu.

Last time actually a whole lot of plot-relevant shit went down. Chris and Sonichu discovered an ancient ruin (left behind by the Cherokees, of all people!) which contained magical pedestals capable of empowering Chris’s medallion to be able to turn him into Chris-Chan Sonichu and also giving him an expositional vision from the ancient Cherokee “king” he is apparently a reincarnation of.

By some weird coincidence Sarah, the girl Chris has a one-sided boner for, and Wes, the dude Chris has a one-sided hateboner for due to his having briefly dated Sarah when they were all in high school, are also reincarnations of ancient Amerindian (or in the case of Wes and his ‘Wasabi Clan’ heritage, possibly Japanese) leaders, and they too have hedgehog powers. They’re all prophecized to band together to defeat some kind of Ancient Evil that got released when Sonichu found the cave, but Wes is more interested in acquiring the Cherokian Crown, an artifact which Chris apparently briefly possessed and which has THE POWAH TO RULE THE WOOOOOORLD!!!!

He beat the tar out of Chris while the both of them were in hedgehog form and managed to swipe the Crown, but then Sarah showed up and nailed him to a tree with a lightning arrow.

Typo Cunter: 40

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2347: Sonichu — Issue 2 Episodes 7 and 8

Title: Sonichu
Author: Christine Weston Chandler, aka. Christopher Weston Chandler, aka. Christian Weston Chandler, aka. Chris-Chan
Media: Webcomic
Topic: Sonic The Hedgehog / Pokemon / IRL / Yu-Gi-Oh
Genre: “Parody”, apparently.
URL: Issue 2 Template Box
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

-WARNING-
Today’s comic contains potential flamebait in the form of Chris-Chan’s highly revisionist history of the Cherokee civilization.
Yes, really.

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to the wonder that is Sonichu!

Last time, the whole ‘Hedgehog Of Color kidnaps Zapbud’ plot got pretty brutally resolved with Zapbud being recovered, Hedgehog of Color being punched in the face but otherwise left completely unchecked, and a robot named Metal Sonichu being sent to the Moon.

And then there was a bunch of exposition about Sonic actually having been a shapeshifting hedgehog lady working for the oft-mentioned-but-never-formally-introduced Mary Lee Walsh and a talking purple SnoCone named Count Graduon to try to get Sonichu to fulfill a ‘prophecy’.

Also, Chris got stood up on a date at a Starbucks.

Typo Cunter: 31

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2342: Sonichu — Issue 1 Episode 6 and Sub-Episode 2

Title: Sonichu
Author: Christine Weston Chandler, aka. Christopher Weston Chandler, aka. Christian Weston Chandler, aka. Chris-Chan
Media: Webcomic
Topic: Sonic The Hedgehog / Pokemon / IRL
Genre: “Parody”, apparently.
URL: Cover and Issue 1 Template Box
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to the wonderful world of Sonicnu (actual wonderfulness content may vary).

Last time, Team Rocket’s top leadership (i.e. Giovanni and his be-goggled son Naitsirhc) teamed up with Dr. Ivo Robonik to combat the burgeoning threat to their operations that is Sonichu. Except as part of the ongoing war on copyrighted materials Robotnik got retconned into some doofus named ‘Ren Skysoar’, but let’s just go with the original and keep calling him Robotnik because honestly that’s a deeper and more complex character.

The villainous trio then proceeded to clone Sonichu, but thanks to the introduction of cherry cola into his DNA the clone’s color was altered. This defective, inferior, black version of Sonichu then got some expensive sneakers, embarked on a life of crime, and kidnapped Sonichu’s girlfriend to deliver to his ‘master’ Naitsirhc.

Wow, it’s a good thing Chris changed the clone’s name to ‘Blake’ instead of ‘Blachu’, otherwise all of the above miiight seem a bit racist!

(Just to be clear, I don’t think the racist implications of the character are intentional so much as just coincidence and a healthy dose of tone-deafness, but I do find it kind of baffling that Chris-Chan thought changing the character’s name from ‘Blachu’ to ‘Blake’ would help address any of it.)

Oh yeah and also Sonichu ran into the original Sonic the Hedgehog and they agreed to team up and work together to find Zapbud; curiously Sonic was left untouched by the retcons that removed Robotnik and wasn’t turned into Cyclonic the Porcupine or something.

Typo Cunter: 22

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2335: Sonichu — Issue 1 Episodes 4 and 5

Title: Sonichu
Author: Christine Weston Chandler, aka. Christopher Weston Chandler, aka. Christian Weston Chandler, aka. Chris-Chan
Media: Webcomic
Topic: Sonic The Hedgehog / Pokemon / IRL
Genre: “Parody”, apparently.
URL: Cover and Issue 1 Template Box
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

-WARNING-
This episode of Sonichu contains potential flamebait in the form of vaguely racially-stereotypical characterization and also Chris doing weird things to try and ward off accusations of same.

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Sonichu!

Previously, we saw Team Rocket’s agent Naitsirhc attack a shopping mall with a Zapdos and get driven off by Sonichu. Then, there were a bunch of pointless and non-canonical strips that accomplished nothing. After that, Chris-Chan turned into Chris-Chan Sonichu and beat up a Jerkop who was trying to keep him from sexually harassing women at a mall.

Remind me again why it took an entire issue for all of this to happen?

Typo Cunter: 11

We continue on, then, with Sonichu Issue 1.

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2330: Sonichu — Issue 0, Episodes 3 and 4, and Sub-Episode 1

 

Title: Sonichu
Author: Christine Weston Chandler, aka. Christopher Weston Chandler, aka. Christian Weston Chandler, aka. Chris-Chan
Media: Webcomic
Topic: Sonic The Hedgehog / Pokemon / IRL
Genre: “Parody”, apparently.
URL: Cover and Issue 0 Template Box
Critiqued by AdmiralSakai

Hello hello all you patrons, and welcome back to Sonichu!

Previously, we were treated to a rehashing of the boss battle against Perfect Chaos at the end of Sonic Adventure, although this time a Wild Boy Pikachu caught a conveyor belt into Station Square and got himself body-checked by Super Sonic. This somehow caused the Pikachu to take on Sonic’s body plan, superspeed, and capacities of speech, and also to sprout a magical rainbow which, apparently by sheer divine coincidence, struck a Girl Raichu and morphed her into a nigh-identical copy of Amy Rose. The latter, now christened RosechuZapbud by her horrifying turkey leg of a Trainer (named Kel), then moped a lot about being lonely and/or sexually frustrated, and the former, now christened Sonichu, moped a bunch about being hungry. Then Sonichu spotted Zapbud staring at a stream for no reason, got his sleazebag on by following her to Kel’s cabin and insisting that he be allowed in for dinner, and then… I guess they fell in love because the last few panels of the comic had them making out in front of fireworks.

We were also introduced to Chris-Chan’s in-comic persona, who shows up in the middle of the comic at random times in an ugly shirt to spout legal disclaimers, exposition, and other asinine nonsense. There was also some exposition on the city(??) of CWCville where everything is supposed to take place. Yes, it is indeed named after Chris, who also claims to be the Mayor despite also acknowledging that the place is fictional and located within a comic he is the author of. Not since Popo, Star-Spawn of Cthulhu put H.P. Lovecraft’s books inside the Cthulhu Mythos have I encountered a ‘fic this ontologically confusing.

There were also a bunch of other characters in the big infodump, but I want to address them when they actually appear in the comic continuity proper so I didn’t spend a lot of time on them.

Typo Cunter: 7

We resume Issue 0 already in progress.

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